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Girlfriend left me - Advice

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Old 28 August 2002, 09:27 AM
  #32  
Pavlo
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Er worth pointing out that man-traps (like bear traps and the like) are legal on your own property during the hours of darkness.

Paul
Old 28 August 2002, 11:06 AM
  #33  
Columbia300man
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Just to let you all know that while i was at work yesterday the b*tch let herself in again(didnt take anything) but made herself a sandwich(lunch and left again) great isnt it.
Today a family that i am really close to have helped me out alot(better than my own family by 100x) have stayed round my house this morning while i went to work and have bought me new locks to put on the house, which will be fitted today as i have half day, i would like to see her face when she tries to get in again. i just hope she doesnt smash a window or something.
Old 28 August 2002, 12:13 PM
  #34  
TelBoy
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Question

Cman,

Are her parent's rantings completely without foundation?

I mean, is there something that you don't consider important from the past that you're reluctant to tell? What could she have told her parents that was believable enough for her dad to come after you like that..?
Old 28 August 2002, 12:21 PM
  #35  
Mice-Elf
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TelBoy - I don't think it matters - Dads are very protective of their little girls...(speaking from experience here. ). I know that whenever I split with a boyfriend, my brothers and Dad were gunning for him...whether he broke up with me, or vice versa.

This last time, for instance, my younger brother was set to go to his house and pound seven months of good for the roses out of him because I was so upset.

Depends on how close your family is, I guess.
Old 29 August 2002, 04:11 PM
  #37  
Columbia300man
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Angry

Need some more advice if you guys arent bored of me yet:

The ex rings me today and has told me that her mum has receipts for alot of the presents that she has bought the house(me and her) and that she wants them back as they are her property, i cannot prove that they were presents, can she come and take the washing machine, tumble drier and all the other little things back, or do i have some ownership of them??

this is really starting to get on my ****!!
Old 29 August 2002, 04:31 PM
  #38  
south-star
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Mice....it sounds like you've got a great family,...your very lucky
Old 29 August 2002, 04:33 PM
  #39  
druddle
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Legally hand them over to someone you trust for a fiver. Then you dont actually own them so they cant take them !

Seriously, talk to the CAB about where you stand. You need some hard facts here.

Dave

[Edited by druddle - 8/29/2002 4:34:36 PM]
Old 29 August 2002, 04:45 PM
  #40  
TonyBurns
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Angry

She really is pi55ing you around isnt she [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
Well if she wants them back she will have to give you all the bits that she has of yours, and if she doesnt agree with that you can always go with possession is 9/10's of the law and that entering the house and taking such goods is paramout to theft (as they have already done!) so unless she wants to sit down and sort this out in an adult manner and stop acting like a child, you and her can come to a compromise, otherwise, receipts or not (esp if they paid cash ) are yours that she took when she left!

Tony
Old 29 August 2002, 04:49 PM
  #41  
Esoteric Beast
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Could have been a lot worse, She could have got the SCOOBY you dont have.

Trouble is with the law is there always on the poor defenceless womans side........DEFENCELESS WOMAN MY ****

Its a good job you aint got kids the CSA Kill yer... beleive me I know I got 4
Old 29 August 2002, 05:03 PM
  #42  
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Bravo - Yes I am, but I don't think that it's due to the Family Intervention bit...



South-Star - Yes, I have got a wonderful family. We are all really close.
Old 29 August 2002, 07:29 PM
  #43  
Columbia300man
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Do you guys really think i can get away with selling all the stuff for a fiver, if they have the receipts can they just get the police in and say i stole them, if i have sold them wouldnt that be worse??

can i prove they were presents , i am really worried and having real trouble sleeping at the moment waiting for the cops to show up to arrest me.
Old 29 August 2002, 11:50 PM
  #45  
Pavlo
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I assume they have the receipts that show they were paid for by someone. If the money came out a bank account that will give the reciepts some relavence (assuming she has card receipts too). If the money can be shown to have come out of a joint account, I am pretty sure you own half, and she can buy you out, just like any other property.

If they are just till receipts, then it just shows they were paid for, not strictly proof of ownership.

If I were you, I would get some legal advice. A solicitor might cost you £100 for a consultation, but it might save a shedload of money very quickly at your current rate of harrasment.

Selling the goods to someone to get them to a safe place isn't a bad plan. Get some receipts for the transaction.

Paul
Old 30 August 2002, 09:38 AM
  #46  
Mice-Elf
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CM - it doesn't matter if she has the receipts for them or not - can she prove that those receipts MATCH the items in your house? Could you not have bought others in the interim?

Fact is, your ex abandoned the house - she has no claim on anything. "Sell" the items to a trusted friend, get a receipt detailing everything down to serial numbers and then sit easy. If your friend to whom you sold this stuff just HAPPENS to store it in your house, then who are you to complain? Either that or "lease" it from him for a penny a month or something. The amount doesn't matter, providing SOME money changes hands.



Bravo2 - Many try, few succeed...
Old 30 August 2002, 01:25 PM
  #48  
Dave P
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From my memory of law O'level the 1966 theft act defines theft as:

dishonest appropriation of another's possesions with the intent to permenantly deprive.

this is why possesion is 9/10 of the law.

As previously suggested, change the locks, then she has to break in. I think if you live with a woman for over 6 months she becomes your common law wife and as such she is entitled to half of everything, just as you are, this may apply to debts as well, regardless of whose name they are in, but just like everyone else, I'M NOT SURE so talk to someone who is and consult a solicitor.

found this site quite handy though

http://www.legislation.hmso.gov.uk/


Dave
Old 30 August 2002, 01:57 PM
  #49  
Charlie H
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I went through the same last year. 5 year relationship, joint mortgage. I supported her through college for 3 years and payed EVERY bill, she never paid a penny. When she left I sought legal advice as was told the she was entitled to half the equity in the house and anything she paid for in the house house was legally hers to take, even the things I had bought for her (mountain bike etc) I fought it for 3 months but in the end I had to pay her £6000 for the privilege of having a "live in cleaner". she even took things like the lampshades [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] Unfortunately, co-habiting has more pit falls than marriage because the law can be twisted around a lot more.

I left the bolt on the back door and then told her I had snapped my key off in the front one and had to change it! Covered myself against legal issues this way

I know what you are going through with her parents too. I went from being "the best thing to happen to her" to "a bad influence" and "unsuitable for our daughter"?????

I now live with my new girlfriend who insisted on getting a "co-habiting agreement" drawn up stating that if she moves in with me, then she isn't entitled to a penny if we split up.

One other thing I learned last year. There is NO SUCH THING AS COMMON LAW WIVES in england. never has been according to my solicitors, only in scotland! So don't let her use this as an excuse. I was told this though "the law does not do what the average man in the street fair or moral, only what is legally binding" hence me getting screwed for the cash.

I have the last laugh mind you because the house is now worth £15,000 more than when we had it valued in Sept last year so I've made my money back at least.

Chin up, I met Claire (new one) 3 months after Emma (old one)left and am very happy again. Sorry to go on but feel free to mail me off line if you want to speak to someone who's been through it recently mate.

Old 30 August 2002, 02:18 PM
  #50  
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Was lucky when I broke up with mine - told him that he could have the house, but the cats were coming with me...as it turned out, he moved out a while thereafter and I bought him out of his share of the house.

Change the locks, "sell" your stuff and don't let her get her hands on a thing. She abandoned the house....


Bravo2 - no, no one on here has succeeded.
Old 30 August 2002, 03:00 PM
  #53  
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LOL.... Hello.

Agreed - seek legal advice now.

Old 30 August 2002, 03:21 PM
  #54  
Columbia300man
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I am on the phone to a solicitor now.

thanks guys, i will let you all now what happens, bit like neighbours this! BUT ALOT BETTER
Old 01 September 2002, 01:27 AM
  #55  
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only read the title - not the thread

Girlfriend left me - advice? - M8 - Celebrate another lucky escape
Old 01 September 2002, 06:56 AM
  #56  
mook
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Split up with my ex 2 years ago. Things were never perfect so I made sure the house and bills and such like were in my name. As per above, no such thing as common law wife, so I managed to cover myself okay. Luckily it was reasonably amicable - we divied up the furniture and fittings, and she got to keep her car (all paid for by me) but I kept the house and my car. The CSA sorted cash for my daughter, and for some reason didn't completely bend me over a table, so that's not so bad. We now get on okay, I see plenty of my daughter, the single life is great and the equity in the house has gone up by £40k, sweet

Basicly, things will calm down eventually, but do seek legal advice and in te meantime get those locks put in sharpish and 'sell' your stuff to a chum
Old 01 September 2002, 06:08 PM
  #57  
beefola
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Women.
Say no more.

Beef
Old 02 September 2002, 11:09 AM
  #58  
Columbia300man
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Well the solicitor actually got in contact with kirsten and said everything was 1/2 mine and if we wanted to get funny i could try and get some money for the car and half the stuff she took back. She absolutly crapped herself, suddenly i get a call off her and she wants everything 50-50, strange that isnt it!!

silly tart, thinking though i may try and do what the solicitor said
Old 02 September 2002, 12:00 PM
  #59  
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It's a shame this has happened. Hope it all works out in your favour in the end.

And people wonder why I am single and never tried to get a G'friend.
Oh.. I know, it's my total distrust of the Human race.

P.


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