blubell

Even a phesant can do a lot of damage. I had one go through the rad on my cavalier - improved it no end

mutant_matt

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by blubell:
<B>Even a phesant can do a lot of damage. I had one go through the rad on my cavalier - improved it no end [/quote]

Talking of Pheasants, I hit one of these at about a ton on my bike this summer - very luckily for me, it just missed my front wheel and hit the fairing instead - it got sliced into two pieces, one piece flew up into the air (blood everywhere) and the other grated itself through my radiator. Took hours to get it all out but I couldn't believe there was any serious damage!!!

Found some cooked internals (very smelly!!) sitting inside the bellypan next to the exhaust Can still smell it sometimes when I'm warming the bike up

Matt

stevencotton

I live in the country, usually take out at least one rabbit a month. Nothing you can do when 20 of them run out in front of you! Worst was when I was in a mates car and we hit a badger We knew where it usually was but this time he ran out in front of us 20 metres before we were expecting it, took both wheels and still wasn't dead. Had to be put out its misery with a knife

Steve.

DanTheMan

Did a silly thing a few years ago, was trying to be clever and nudge a lazy cow out of the way, u know the ones that ignore the horns/lights/shouting/arm waving and just look at you not caring at all, well I just nudged it very slowly and it got v-angry & kicked out the front lights & grille with its back legs. Try explaining that to your mam after you borrowed her volvo for just 10 mins....

Also once had a nice big deer off the roadside before, I know you shouldnt but it would have been a waste of venison !!

roadkill cooking..... :-)

fast bloke

Loads of wildlife for the taking on our little green isle. Usually one or two victims per week.

Most disgusting - one of those massive bumble bees - flat out on the bike, I could see it coming for about 4 or 5 seconds, hit it straight on the mouth ventilator on my lid. I could feel the bits spraying into my mouth...

Most embarrasing - killed neighbours moggy who had decided to shelter under my nice warm car. Head squashed flat on my driveway -neighbours kids crying and screaming for days (especially when I power hosed it off)

Most astounding - hit a badger in a tranny van. You could see the double wheel tracks in its back. It wasn't entirely dead, so I scooped it into the van and took it to a vet. Opened the back doors 20 minutes later the thing attacked the vet and then took off down the road.

Most damage - horse jumped hedge into path of mini. Spotted mini, jumped on bonnet, rolled onto roof, fell off and ran away uninjured. Mini was a write off. Horse was later offered part in martial arts movie

Weirdest moment - slammed car door on brother-in-laws snake (Weird brother-in-law as well) Hey presto - two snakes

Markus

blackbeast has not (yet) caused any furry fatalitites, but the greybeast (suzy's Volvo 760 estate) has, with me at the wheel. I hit a magpie on the way back from gatwick, made a nice mess of the headlight, but due to the cunning design, all of the bird was in the headlight, so just stopped,scooped it out and toddled off again.

did cause a panic though.

am worried about the beast now, mainly as with the new scoops, more areas to get things into the engine bay, which is not good.

stu200

iTrader: (1)

Squashed a rat outside Blockbuster this evening ! I wouldn't mind, but I'd just given the car a wash and those wheel arches were looking damn clean

JC1

Spent 2 hours scraping dead pidgeon out of my headlamp last year. you wouldnt think a small animal could make so much mess!

Ughh.... Horrible

jimi

Hi

If you want to wright off your car try going for deer,they do a good job.

JIM

blubell

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by BT52b:
<B>Went over the a crest in my 306 doing about 80 to see a herd of (big red) deer all over the road.

Swerved round most of them, but then hit the last one full on. I hadn't slowed down much because I had tried to steer through instead.

Huge thump as I punted it off the road, nasty red smear all over the remains of the front of the car.

Needed new bonnet, BOTH front wings, headlamps, foglights, bumper, spoiler, radiator, grill...
And that little piece of plastic which covers the windscreen wiper mounting nut.

Still drove well though.[/quote]

You dont know how lucky you were. Friend of mine who lived in Scotland had a colision with a fully grown stag. I dont know how fast they were going, surfice to say that the Carlton, driver pasenger and stag were all wright offs.

BT52b

Yes I was heading towards it foot on the brake thinking, "should I cover my face for when the airbag goes off?" and "this is going to hurt"

I reckon that if I had been in the Elise it would have taken my head off.

ed the dead

Phesant, pigeon, rabbit & seagull (just flew off, it was massive)

blubell

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by ed the dead:
<B>Phesant, pigeon, rabbit & seagull (just flew off, it was massive)

[/quote]


Sounds like road kill pie if so probably better without the seagull

Stelios

Girlfriends' father Merc 200 vs fat Donkey @ 90 mph @ night. Both merc and donkey write-offs. Narrow escape for the "in-law"

Big Col

Call me sick if you want but this thread has had me laughing out loud for the last 10 minutes

My roadkill incidents

1. Hit a kitten on an unlight back road at night. It was on a corner and I was 'pressing on' so any sudden change of direction may have resulted in a spin. However try explaining that to the then girlfriend. She burst out crying and wanted me to go back and take it to a vet.

2. A big seagull. Didn't look that big from a distance. It was eating the remains of a kebab off the road. It ripped the drivers side window wiper off! Had to get out in the pissing rain and put passenger side wiper on drivers side so I could see where I was going.

3. A deer. Lucky it was a baby one and it went under the car. However this happened coming out of work and there were many witnesses. Got called 'Bambi killer' at work for weeks. Also as I was inspecting the damage my passenger trying to talk me into putting it in the boot. He wanted to cook it!

BT52b

You shouldn't put a deer in the boot, even if it is just injured because you could be done for poaching!

Mind you, I had enough deer in the remains of the grill to make a decent burger.

Probably cooked on the radiator as well.

I eat venison whenever possible as a contribution towards road safety.

Big Col

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by BT52b:
<B>You shouldn't put a deer in the boot, even if it is just injured because you could be done for poaching!

[/quote]

Yes I know that, but my passenger was an outdoors/poacher/fisherman type fellow.

Also knowing my luck the deer would probably have just been knocked out and would have woken up in the boot. Imagine that! LOL

Mike Burton

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by fast bloke:
<B>Loads of wildlife for the taking on our little green isle. Usually one or two victims per week.


Most disgusting - one of those massive bumble bees - flat out on the bike, I could see it coming for about 4 or 5 seconds, hit it straight on the mouth ventilator on my lid. I could feel the bits spraying into my mouth...
[/quote]

Snap. I had that last year on the EggCup. Got a mouth full of fluid. Tasted yuk. Got home to clean my helmet (thats crash helmet and the remains of the front end of the Bee were inside of the vent. Even worse, the bugger was still moving.

--
Mike

AlPro

Fully-grown stag jumped out in front of me and Sal's Peugeot; I was in the passenger seat, she driving doing about 40mph. Sunday afternoon after pub. It jumped over the bonnet and into woods. V. V. Frightening to see the whole windscreen area taken up by side of large animal; sky disappeared, sun eclipsed etc., world slowed down. Whole thing seemed to happen in slow motion. Though that might have been the three pints of ale; hence why I wasn't driving.

Hit a male pheasant this year while driving along in line of traffic about 60mph - nasty mess. Went over with front then back wheel - jogged my passengers; who were most upset at my inability to avoid it!

Hit a young lady tourist who walked out from behind a taxi, in front of my TL1000 near Hyde Park Corner. Of course, she never looked or heard the loud exhausts! DOH!!!
Did the most amazing huge stoppie with rear wheel almost vertical. Just nudged her gently to the ground. Problem was when I stopped because bike crashed down sideways on said Taxi. Cost me £200 for a new Taxi Wing. Super strong TL - no damage. Pedestrian - walked away without saying Bye, (or giving me a cheque).

TonyC-Evo Lurker

Once ran over a fish. Took some doing mind you !

Also had to take avoiding action becuase of an errant Peacock one night and an Owl stood (!) in the middle of the road the other.

Is it just me or do only weird animals leap out when I'm driving.

TonyC
PS: I forgot the herd of pigs on a French Alpine road. Next !

Luke

Do humans count??? (Father Jack)!!!!!!

swiss scooby

Tons of insects (usually after car-wash! grrr) but nothing bigger yet! Thank god!
When I worked at the Zürich Airport, I once saw a Cessna (propeller driven airplane) which hit a deer after landing!!! I couldn't make out any body-parts, but the plane was totally brown (instead of white)!! Poor guy who had to clean it. Strange thing was, that the plane looked OK?!?

father_jack

Do paper boys count?

I had a head on with a paper boy who was on a bicycle once. I was going up my mates drive at about 10mph - he was coming down it doing about 25mph (it was a big drive) he shot over the roof and into space. Best bit was I claimed for the new bonnet and grille from the paper shop as they are insured! It was an old pug 305 so I got a bonnet and grille for £30 and pocketed £220 ...... laaverly.

Rob B

Big Col - if you're sick then so am I as I have been trying and failing to stop myself from laughing out loud reading this.

An unfortunate roadkill resulted in one of the least tactful things that I have ever uttered. I was a passenger in a friends car when a cat ran out in front of us. We went straight over it and killed it instantly. Being good citizens we stopped and knocked on the doors nearby to try and find the owner. Got to one house and had the following conversation with the woman of the house who had two children stood behind her:

Me: Excuse me do you have a cat?
Woman: Why yes I do, Fluffy's out at the moment though.
Me: Oh, you see one has just run out in front of us and unfortunately we ran over it and it passed away
Woman: Was it a tabby with white under its chin? A red collar?
Me: Ah! Yes it was. I'm ever so sorry.
Woman: Oh poor Fluffy. Did he suffer?
Me (not thinking): Oh no, he burst him like a balloon.
{Exit to a chorus of sobbing wishing I'd chosen some more comforting words)

Big Col

Just remembered another..

Me and my mate in his 205 GTI. Cat runs out in front of us. Unable to avoid it, result = one flat cat.

We found the cats owner and broke the sad news to them. The cats name ?????

Yup, you guessed it.... LUCKY

Lunchie

I managed to run over a squirrel last year ... on my snowboard

The little blighter ran across a track. Stopped and waited for me and then ran back across to go straight under the board. It was on a hard-packed run out so let's just say the snow changed colour

Lunchie

Plantie

Some very funny stories!!!!

I was a passenger in my friend suzuki jeep, when he deer late @ night doing aroud 75. The deer went straight under the car and made a lot of mess, we found hair, flesh and bone around the D/S wheels and suspension. The funny thing was, the rest of the deer had disapered we couldn't find it anywhere?

No damage to the car but I don't know think the deer made it.....

Si James

Must be the "deer season" starting up here in Scotland - I almost got Bambi again today.

Two years ago I found a local woman had hit a large deer and made a bit of a mess of her car. I sent her on her way telling her I would "call the vets".

The deer went into the back of the wife's Legacy just fine, and made great eating.

I never found the vet's number either ha ha !

I always carry a hunting knife in the glove box in case I have to "finish off" any large
furry animals and convert into chops.


Whats the largest dead animal that has been toasted in an intercooler ? Gentlemen, I shall start the biding with a dead shrew.

Let the posting begin.

Si