Should smacking be banned?
04 October 2002, 01:48 PM
#33
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here here David and Bravo. tis what I think and feel too.
If I get into a fight (which i don't, I'm not like that) then shall I smack the person on the wrist? umm, no, i'd use a balled up hand, ie; a fist, and hit them. There is a massive difference.
Yes, some people DO take fists, feet, ****, and other things to their children, but that does not mean we all do. I am not condoning beating the hell out of a child or physcially abusing them in any way (ok, so smacking/hitting/whatever IS physical absue, but it's not, think you know what I mean).
some parents do awful things to thier kids, why? so many reasons, some argue "cos they were smacked as children" hmm, personally think it's more likey to be that they were NOT smacked as children, or they were either physcially abused in the same way as which they are doing to thier kids.
If I get into a fight (which i don't, I'm not like that) then shall I smack the person on the wrist? umm, no, i'd use a balled up hand, ie; a fist, and hit them. There is a massive difference.
Yes, some people DO take fists, feet, ****, and other things to their children, but that does not mean we all do. I am not condoning beating the hell out of a child or physcially abusing them in any way (ok, so smacking/hitting/whatever IS physical absue, but it's not, think you know what I mean).
some parents do awful things to thier kids, why? so many reasons, some argue "cos they were smacked as children" hmm, personally think it's more likey to be that they were NOT smacked as children, or they were either physcially abused in the same way as which they are doing to thier kids.
04 October 2002, 01:49 PM
#34
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Beemerboy what are you like?
I really hope you 
are on a wind up!
When was it that your 13 month old son learnt from you not to play with the skybox and the DVDs?
When did you explain to him what a DVD is?
When did you explain to him what a Skybox is?
When did you explain to him what a skycard is?
Was it before you slapped him or after?
If you ask a child to not play with something, first they have to know what you are talking about? It is no good saying dont play with the DVD's, if you have never shown them what a DVD is!
And besides that, how on Earth is a 13 month old going to have the mental ability to know right from wrong and to remember to not do all the things you tell it to. Also if you was playing with the child and not watching the telly it would probably not be bored enough to pick up daddys toys and play with them!
Part of being a child is making mistakes and learning from them or being taught not to do it again, so for you to then hit a child when it makes mistakes when it is not aware that what it has done is wrong, is ABUSE.
So going by your example you could be led to beleive that you wont teach your Son right or wrong but if he make's mistakes or did things you dislike, you will slap him!
What sort of a bucked up methodology is that!
And I thought I was the only floater round here
Myself I was threatened on more than one occasion with a walking stick by my dad, a lasting memory is of me when aged 8 years old crawling on my hands and knees begging my now dead dad not to use the walking stick on me.
Do you want your Son when you are dead to remember you for the wrong reasons?
i got a 13 month old son, who thinks its funny to pull all my dvd's out of the rack and pull out the sky viewing card during men & motors!!!!!
he gets a slap on the wrist
he gets a slap on the wrist
are on a wind up! When was it that your 13 month old son learnt from you not to play with the skybox and the DVDs?
When did you explain to him what a DVD is?
When did you explain to him what a Skybox is?
When did you explain to him what a skycard is?
Was it before you slapped him or after?
If you ask a child to not play with something, first they have to know what you are talking about? It is no good saying dont play with the DVD's, if you have never shown them what a DVD is!
And besides that, how on Earth is a 13 month old going to have the mental ability to know right from wrong and to remember to not do all the things you tell it to. Also if you was playing with the child and not watching the telly it would probably not be bored enough to pick up daddys toys and play with them!
Part of being a child is making mistakes and learning from them or being taught not to do it again, so for you to then hit a child when it makes mistakes when it is not aware that what it has done is wrong, is ABUSE.
So going by your example you could be led to beleive that you wont teach your Son right or wrong but if he make's mistakes or did things you dislike, you will slap him!
What sort of a bucked up methodology is that!
And I thought I was the only floater round here
Myself I was threatened on more than one occasion with a walking stick by my dad, a lasting memory is of me when aged 8 years old crawling on my hands and knees begging my now dead dad not to use the walking stick on me.
Do you want your Son when you are dead to remember you for the wrong reasons?
04 October 2002, 01:50 PM
#35
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sensible hat on 
i am pro smack BUT... i have noticed that my 6 yr old now snacks her 2 yr old brother if he does something wrong, now thats because of me no doubt about it.
does that mean she/he will grow up to be nutters? prob not but it does show how they learn that smacking/hitting can be an answer to things.
just an observation!
T
ps- this is funny, my mum used to pull over if i was screwin around in the car and say get out and walk then..that would shut me and bro up for a while!
so when my girl was about 4 i did this to her as she was being lippy, "right get out and walk home" i yelled after pullingthe car over.......10 secs later "well, are you going to walk or not" she says "i would but the child locks are on so i cant get out"
i am pro smack BUT... i have noticed that my 6 yr old now snacks her 2 yr old brother if he does something wrong, now thats because of me no doubt about it.
does that mean she/he will grow up to be nutters? prob not but it does show how they learn that smacking/hitting can be an answer to things.
just an observation!
T
ps- this is funny, my mum used to pull over if i was screwin around in the car and say get out and walk then..that would shut me and bro up for a while!
so when my girl was about 4 i did this to her as she was being lippy, "right get out and walk home" i yelled after pullingthe car over.......10 secs later "well, are you going to walk or not" she says "i would but the child locks are on so i cant get out"
04 October 2002, 01:55 PM
#36
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That was a wind up by the way!
Just wondered what it would be like to have an alternative opinion.
Why do parents always take their kids to supermarkets to smack them?
Just wondered what it would be like to have an alternative opinion.
Why do parents always take their kids to supermarkets to smack them?
04 October 2002, 01:56 PM
#37
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Chelle, perfect example of where a smack HAS helped a situation, and a clear indication that sometimes, just sometimes, it's the only way. And as you say your dad explained why he acted the way he did, and that too is important, you cannot just smack a child and not explain why you did it, the child needs to know the reason for it, then this leads to understanding.
I dread to think how things are going to go, and what we will and won't be able to say/do to our children in the future. Hell, why don't we just pack them off to some big state run center as soon as the mother gives birth, let an orwellian style system take care of them until they are 18 and come out of the establishment as well rounded an sensible members of society.
I really do wonder about bringing a child into this world, I'd love and care for them, but then these days you can't say you love your kid without someone thinking that you are weird and must be abusing them. Plus you can do everything to keep them safe and loved, but all it takes is for one weirdo to grab them and smash their innocence and they'll never be the same again and you cannot change things.
This does not mean I won't have kids, I might, just that I worry what kind of life they'll have, and just wish, pray, and hope, that they will have a nice childhood, in the same way I did.
I dread to think how things are going to go, and what we will and won't be able to say/do to our children in the future. Hell, why don't we just pack them off to some big state run center as soon as the mother gives birth, let an orwellian style system take care of them until they are 18 and come out of the establishment as well rounded an sensible members of society.
I really do wonder about bringing a child into this world, I'd love and care for them, but then these days you can't say you love your kid without someone thinking that you are weird and must be abusing them. Plus you can do everything to keep them safe and loved, but all it takes is for one weirdo to grab them and smash their innocence and they'll never be the same again and you cannot change things.
This does not mean I won't have kids, I might, just that I worry what kind of life they'll have, and just wish, pray, and hope, that they will have a nice childhood, in the same way I did.
04 October 2002, 02:01 PM
#38
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KingDickTheTurd just because a child is too young to understand what these items are, doesn't mean he shouldnt be told no, and at the age of 13 months I think you could substitute the word slap with tap on the wrist. I know BB very well and I have never seen him slap his son. I know my son when he was that age would get a tap on the hand if he did something really naughty, how else do you explain to a 13 month old baby that he shouldnt be pulling plugs out of sockets for example. I don't think he is going to be able to hold a reasoned discussion on the rights and wrongs and dangers of electrical sockets. However a tap on the wrist is going to tell him that he shouldnt do it again.
04 October 2002, 02:14 PM
#39
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That was a wind up by the way!
Why do parents always take their kids to supermarkets to smack them?
04 October 2002, 02:20 PM
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Bravo use a hard sounding name Mr ZERO
As a responsible parent you should be minding a 13 month old correctly and not telling them off for playing with daddys toys if they have never been told not to touch them, after all daddy plays with the childs toys all the time!
Now sticking things in electrical sockets in the home, there have been safety plugs available for a number of years now, so sorry it dont wash hitting them anymore!
My child has been taught from sticking things in electrical sockets in other peoples homes that we have visited, by saying no and the words very hot repeatedly and then going to the warm radiator and saying hot again and again to make them understand that sticking things in sockets will end up with burnt hands as the socket is hotter than the radiator.
This worked for my child because after letting it know what hot was it was then able to associate that the word hot ment not to touch as it could hurt you.
There is no excuse for abuse!
As a responsible parent you should be minding a 13 month old correctly and not telling them off for playing with daddys toys if they have never been told not to touch them, after all daddy plays with the childs toys all the time!
Now sticking things in electrical sockets in the home, there have been safety plugs available for a number of years now, so sorry it dont wash hitting them anymore!
My child has been taught from sticking things in electrical sockets in other peoples homes that we have visited, by saying no and the words very hot repeatedly and then going to the warm radiator and saying hot again and again to make them understand that sticking things in sockets will end up with burnt hands as the socket is hotter than the radiator.
This worked for my child because after letting it know what hot was it was then able to associate that the word hot ment not to touch as it could hurt you.
There is no excuse for abuse!
04 October 2002, 02:26 PM
#41
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Sorry couldn't resist the name twist I know about the socket covers, used them all over my house, I was saying that babies who have just started crawling about have a tendancy to go up to things and electrical sockets are one of the first they go to. They see a plug, for example the stereo, and give it a good tug 
Now what I saying is that if you tell the little monster no several times and he still does it then a tap on the wrist is appropriate with saying no again to try and get the point across. And when I say tap, that does not involve making the child cry, it is just enough to get their attention and make eye contact. I do not think that is cruel or unjustifiable behaviour.
I know about the socket covers, used them all over my house, I was saying that babies who have just started crawling about have a tendancy to go up to things and electrical sockets are one of the first they go to. They see a plug, for example the stereo, and give it a good tug Now what I saying is that if you tell the little monster no several times and he still does it then a tap on the wrist is appropriate with saying no again to try and get the point across. And when I say tap, that does not involve making the child cry, it is just enough to get their attention and make eye contact. I do not think that is cruel or unjustifiable behaviour.
04 October 2002, 02:26 PM
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Now sticking things in electrical sockets in the home, there have been safety plugs available for a number of years now, so sorry it dont wash hitting them anymore!
I was a very enterprising and naughty kid, my parents had to stay one step ahead of me
But I knew when to stop pushing the boundaries. At the time I thought I was being victimised........when I got older I realised there had been a damn good reason...........most of the time it was to keep me alive (or my brother safe from harm
)!!!!
04 October 2002, 02:30 PM
#43
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At the end of the day we are animals!!!
You don't see mares neighing at their foal to stop rearing and kicking them. NO!!! A good swift nip or gentle kick tells them to stop.
The difference between humans and the rest of the animal kingdom is that you don't see the discipline cross the line to abuse like you do in humans.
You don't see mares neighing at their foal to stop rearing and kicking them. NO!!! A good swift nip or gentle kick tells them to stop.
The difference between humans and the rest of the animal kingdom is that you don't see the discipline cross the line to abuse like you do in humans.
04 October 2002, 02:37 PM
#45
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All I am saying is that there is usually a viable alternative to hitting a child, the thing that makes a Dad into a responsible Dad is taking the time to find alternatives to using violence of any kind as it just breeds violence in the end as Tiggs has shown.
I would never put myself in the position of saying that I am a great Dad as part of being a Parent is learning how to be a parent and part of being a kid is learning to be a kid which will envolve both sides making mistakes along the way, which I have made.
But I hope my kid will respect me more when it has grown up as it will remember that I took the time to find other ways to explain right and wrong apart from hitting.
I would never put myself in the position of saying that I am a great Dad as part of being a Parent is learning how to be a parent and part of being a kid is learning to be a kid which will envolve both sides making mistakes along the way, which I have made.
But I hope my kid will respect me more when it has grown up as it will remember that I took the time to find other ways to explain right and wrong apart from hitting.
04 October 2002, 02:46 PM
#47
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I understand what you are saying but I still think that a tap or a smack for an older child is appropriate when its about something dangerous or very naughty. U r doing it because you want to make sure the child doesn't do it again because of the dangers/consequences involved with their actions. U r trying to protect them from harm. I was smaked as a child, I bloody deserved it as well and I never considered my parents for being bad for doing it or saying that they used to beat me. They were simply ensuring I didn't do it again.
A good example of this was when i made my sister into a human yoyo by tieing a scarf round her neck and yanking it to spin her round. I didnt think it was dnagerous at that age, its the only time my dad hit me on the ar$e with a slipper and I couldnt sit down for hours, made sure I didn't do it again and I think he was right to do so. Had no long lasting pain or suffering, didn't make me hate my dad, just made me realise what I had done was very very wrong. There is an appropriate time for everything, and like already has been said, its a last resort when you know a stern talking to or removal of toys is not going to get the point across strongly enough.
A good example of this was when i made my sister into a human yoyo by tieing a scarf round her neck and yanking it to spin her round. I didnt think it was dnagerous at that age, its the only time my dad hit me on the ar$e with a slipper and I couldnt sit down for hours, made sure I didn't do it again and I think he was right to do so. Had no long lasting pain or suffering, didn't make me hate my dad, just made me realise what I had done was very very wrong. There is an appropriate time for everything, and like already has been said, its a last resort when you know a stern talking to or removal of toys is not going to get the point across strongly enough.
04 October 2002, 02:51 PM
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find alternatives to using violence of any kind as it just breeds violence
I believe a lot of it is up to the individual.
I take ownership and responsibility for my own actions. I don't believe all this crap about they aren't 18 therefore blah, blah.
From an early age I made decisions to do things that my parents asked me not to do. there are exceptions to the rules granted, but overall I believe you make your own destiny and all that crap.
Too much emphasis is on this fecking BLAME culture - oh it all stemmed from when I was a kid. My parents blah, blah, blah.
The majority of the time, I do not think it is feasible to blame parental influence.
My dad's dad was violent, beating up my dad's mum, my dad and his brother and sister too.
My dad has never laid a hand on my mum and he has never been abusive towards myself and my brother and sister.
It supports my point IMHO.
04 October 2002, 02:52 PM
#49
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A good example of this was when i made my sister into a human yoyo by tieing a scarf round her neck and yanking it to spin her round.
I remember doing a similar thing to my brother which earned me a tanned backside too!!!!
04 October 2002, 02:58 PM
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One of the problems is that people are so keen to believ that the the same thing will have the same affect on everyone and the same approach will work for everyone.
Now I'm not a parent but I'm sure that there are some kids for whom a stern talking to will work. Some will need a gentle tap, some might need a "proper" smack. There are doubltess some who you could (if a moron) beat 7 bells out of and it would not make the slightest difference.
The repsonsibility should be left with the parents to bring their children up how they want (within limits). The limits should not be set by a nanny state (and certainly not the UN) so as to make criminals out of repsonsible parents who wish to ensure their own children have an appreciation for what is and what isnt acceptable.
I cant ever remember specific cases where I was smacked as child but I know I was occasionally.
Never done me any harm
Deano
Now I'm not a parent but I'm sure that there are some kids for whom a stern talking to will work. Some will need a gentle tap, some might need a "proper" smack. There are doubltess some who you could (if a moron) beat 7 bells out of and it would not make the slightest difference.
The repsonsibility should be left with the parents to bring their children up how they want (within limits). The limits should not be set by a nanny state (and certainly not the UN) so as to make criminals out of repsonsible parents who wish to ensure their own children have an appreciation for what is and what isnt acceptable.
I cant ever remember specific cases where I was smacked as child but I know I was occasionally.
Never done me any harm
Deano
04 October 2002, 03:10 PM
#52
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Personally I think if shouting isn't enough then the kid doesn't respect you enough
04 October 2002, 03:11 PM
#53
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Now sticking things in electrical sockets in the home, there have been safety plugs available for a number of years now, so sorry it dont wash hitting them anymore!
Could also tell you stories about my mum's childhood that would make you weep, angry, furious and sickened as to what went on, but my mum is one of the best people I know on this earth.
04 October 2002, 03:13 PM
#54
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"Spare the rod and spoil the child"
I got smacks when I was a kid, never harmed me. The shame of the smack was enough to bring me under control. It got to the point that a look or slightly raised had was enough to bring me under control.
Banning smakcing is a ridiculous concept. It is the last form of discipline and control available.
I agree that beating a child is completely wrong, but a sharp smack does work.
I was in Watford (I know poor me) and this lad (five or six) was being really bad. Kicking his Dad for not crossing the road while cars are approaching.
I heard the warning where I was sitting and saw the smack. This kid stopped and went very quiet. When it was safe to cross he took his Dad's hand and crossed the road, instant control.
The best bit was a twenty-something couple commenting on how disgusting it was that he had his his child only to come under a verbal attack from a retired couple! COmments like "what would they know", "they should have been taught proper manners" and the best one was blaming liberal do-gooders like them for the decline of the country.
I was almost lol when the red faced couple walked off and the old couple went past me grinning their heads off.
I got smacks when I was a kid, never harmed me. The shame of the smack was enough to bring me under control. It got to the point that a look or slightly raised had was enough to bring me under control.
Banning smakcing is a ridiculous concept. It is the last form of discipline and control available.
I agree that beating a child is completely wrong, but a sharp smack does work.
I was in Watford (I know poor me) and this lad (five or six) was being really bad. Kicking his Dad for not crossing the road while cars are approaching.
I heard the warning where I was sitting and saw the smack. This kid stopped and went very quiet. When it was safe to cross he took his Dad's hand and crossed the road, instant control.
The best bit was a twenty-something couple commenting on how disgusting it was that he had his his child only to come under a verbal attack from a retired couple! COmments like "what would they know", "they should have been taught proper manners" and the best one was blaming liberal do-gooders like them for the decline of the country.
I was almost lol when the red faced couple walked off and the old couple went past me grinning their heads off.
04 October 2002, 11:26 PM
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I've watched this thread develop with great interest. For what its worth, I used to be a fairly regular contributor to Scoobynet a couple of years ago but left when the nutters took over.
Can I ask a simple question?
If you truly believe that the smacking of children should NOT be banned, why on earth have hundreds of you contributed to the coffers of the NSPCC by clicking on the NSPCC website?
This organisation is using this money to actively campaign for smacking to be banned. And now some of you are moaing about it!
I am utterly speechless by the hypocrisy shown in this thread!
Discuss.
Can I ask a simple question?
If you truly believe that the smacking of children should NOT be banned, why on earth have hundreds of you contributed to the coffers of the NSPCC by clicking on the NSPCC website?
This organisation is using this money to actively campaign for smacking to be banned. And now some of you are moaing about it!
I am utterly speechless by the hypocrisy shown in this thread!
Discuss.
05 October 2002, 05:06 PM
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In my opinion if smacking gets banned then the sensible "smackers" will stop and their children "may" grow up less disciplined. Which may result in even more teen-scumbags terrorising the neighbourhoods!
However, I think the government are really targeting the parents who beat the **** out of their children. I think these people will continue regardless of the law! How can this be enforced as we can't see what goes on behind closed doors? Many children will be too scared or too young to report it anyway!
However, I think the government are really targeting the parents who beat the **** out of their children. I think these people will continue regardless of the law! How can this be enforced as we can't see what goes on behind closed doors? Many children will be too scared or too young to report it anyway!
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