Get your own back! Revenge is a dish best served cold?
28 August 2001, 01:51 PM
#32
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Right, this one works if you are near where he lives or works. its better if its where he works.
Find out the next time he is going on holiday. the two weeks leading up to his holiday, take it upon yourself to do as many of the above pranks to his co-workers as possible. Try to make the last one before he goes on holiday REALLY obnoxious. I dunno, like assembling a VW Beetle in the MD's office or summat.
Then when he goes on holiday, stop all activities. completely.
As soon as he comes back, restart them, making sure that they are real nasty and infuriatingly frequent.
This should see the blame firmly resting at his feet. Then all you have to do is wait for his immenent reaming from upper management. While you wait with a glass against the door.
astraboy.
Find out the next time he is going on holiday. the two weeks leading up to his holiday, take it upon yourself to do as many of the above pranks to his co-workers as possible. Try to make the last one before he goes on holiday REALLY obnoxious. I dunno, like assembling a VW Beetle in the MD's office or summat.
Then when he goes on holiday, stop all activities. completely.
As soon as he comes back, restart them, making sure that they are real nasty and infuriatingly frequent.
This should see the blame firmly resting at his feet. Then all you have to do is wait for his immenent reaming from upper management. While you wait with a glass against the door.
astraboy.
28 August 2001, 02:09 PM
#33
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Set your victim against a third party, or against another victim. Let
other people do your dirty work for you. Here's an example: Call up the
electric or gas company and impersonate your victim. Request that
service be terminated for a week or two (going on holiday, or
whatever). As soon as that happens, call your victim. Impersonate an
officer of the gas/electric company, and be very nasty and abusive,
saying that service has been discontinued because of non-payment of
bills. This should rile up your victim, asasuming that he HAS paid his
bill and knows it. At any rate, tell him he must come down to the office
immediately to discuss the problem or you will send the police to his
house to collect, or something like that. Then, once you have him mad,
and know he is going to the gas/electric company, call up that company.
Impersonate your victim. Be very nasty, and try to get into an argument
with a supervisor. Wind up the conver- sation by saying that you are
coming down there right now with a gun, and you are going to kill
somebody. Then slam the phone down.
astraboy.
other people do your dirty work for you. Here's an example: Call up the
electric or gas company and impersonate your victim. Request that
service be terminated for a week or two (going on holiday, or
whatever). As soon as that happens, call your victim. Impersonate an
officer of the gas/electric company, and be very nasty and abusive,
saying that service has been discontinued because of non-payment of
bills. This should rile up your victim, asasuming that he HAS paid his
bill and knows it. At any rate, tell him he must come down to the office
immediately to discuss the problem or you will send the police to his
house to collect, or something like that. Then, once you have him mad,
and know he is going to the gas/electric company, call up that company.
Impersonate your victim. Be very nasty, and try to get into an argument
with a supervisor. Wind up the conver- sation by saying that you are
coming down there right now with a gun, and you are going to kill
somebody. Then slam the phone down.
astraboy.
28 August 2001, 02:20 PM
#34
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Borrow a For Sale sign (or better, a sold one) while he's on holiday then put it outside his house. Remove it just before he gets back... then the neighbours etc will ask tons of questions :-)
Not that I did this when employed as a milkman doing the rounds at 3am :-) You've got nothing on me.
Simon.
Not that I did this when employed as a milkman doing the rounds at 3am :-) You've got nothing on me.
Simon.
28 August 2001, 02:33 PM
#35
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has the victim got a dog, cat or rabbit?
Scour the petshops looking for similar, yet smaller examples of of the animal in question, then swap them over as the weeks progress. Then laugh at the victim making repeated trips to the vet to find out why his pet is shrinking....
astraboy.
Scour the petshops looking for similar, yet smaller examples of of the animal in question, then swap them over as the weeks progress. Then laugh at the victim making repeated trips to the vet to find out why his pet is shrinking....
astraboy.
28 August 2001, 04:26 PM
#37
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by ChrisB:
<B>The old classic - 4 ton of gravel or sand dumped on the drive whilst he's out at work.[/quote]
More effective if you use 4 cu meters of quick setting concrete. Go to the office, pay cash, insist it is delivered at 9.15 next Tuesday or whatever. Call the office at 9.00 and say you will be a few minutes late but to go ahead and dump the stuff in the drive. Cost you 100 quid. Cost him at least 10 times as much to get it removed.
Get industrial srength/size clingfilm. Run round his house as often as you can for the course of a night. Works best if his doors open out the way.
Get a builder to build a garden wall acroos the end of 'your' drive while you are at work.'
2nd class post him a fish. (Put it in a box inside a plastic bag)
Alternatively, put the fish in a bag. Put it in a box. Address the box to him. Put appropriate number of second class stamps on it. Wrap the box again and post to
The post master
Ballygally Post Office
Larne
Co. Antrim
Northern Ireland
Again do this 2nd class. Stick it in the post. It will take a few days to reach us in the sticks. When the post master opens it he is obliged to post it on providing it is addressed and stamped. Your enemy will get a fish which has been kicking about the postal system for two weeks, in a packet with a Northern Ireland postmark. He will smell for days but won't think it was you.
p.s. Neil - you saddo
<B>The old classic - 4 ton of gravel or sand dumped on the drive whilst he's out at work.[/quote]
More effective if you use 4 cu meters of quick setting concrete. Go to the office, pay cash, insist it is delivered at 9.15 next Tuesday or whatever. Call the office at 9.00 and say you will be a few minutes late but to go ahead and dump the stuff in the drive. Cost you 100 quid. Cost him at least 10 times as much to get it removed.
Get industrial srength/size clingfilm. Run round his house as often as you can for the course of a night. Works best if his doors open out the way.
Get a builder to build a garden wall acroos the end of 'your' drive while you are at work.'
2nd class post him a fish. (Put it in a box inside a plastic bag)
Alternatively, put the fish in a bag. Put it in a box. Address the box to him. Put appropriate number of second class stamps on it. Wrap the box again and post to
The post master
Ballygally Post Office
Larne
Co. Antrim
Northern Ireland
Again do this 2nd class. Stick it in the post. It will take a few days to reach us in the sticks. When the post master opens it he is obliged to post it on providing it is addressed and stamped. Your enemy will get a fish which has been kicking about the postal system for two weeks, in a packet with a Northern Ireland postmark. He will smell for days but won't think it was you.
p.s. Neil - you saddo
28 August 2001, 06:32 PM
#40
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If you can find a supplier.....
Get a large supply (££££'S) of self expanding foam. Drill a 4mm hole in roof of car and spray about a TV size amount in. When this expands,and it will. He will freak!!!! The car is a total write off. he will never be able to open the doors!!
If it just a minor job
1. attatch a long tube to a can and shoot a bit right up exhaust,Only a little bit (4-5 seconds. Wipe any mess off. he wont see anything but what fun he will have trying to start car.
2. Emty 3-4 cans in engine bay.
If its major..... same again through letterbox about 2 feet behind front door ,Build a wall with it. Do it when he/she is away. Will take about 20 cans to do it.
3. Stick the ******* in a wheelybin (it helps if you knock them out!!) fill up to just below knee level. It should expand to top of bin ,just below there sholders.
4. If the Ciunt has "touched" a child etc .1 can up their *** should do the trick
Please do not try any of this at home folks!!
[This message has been edited by Luke (edited 28 August 2001).]
Get a large supply (££££'S) of self expanding foam. Drill a 4mm hole in roof of car and spray about a TV size amount in. When this expands,and it will. He will freak!!!! The car is a total write off. he will never be able to open the doors!!
If it just a minor job
1. attatch a long tube to a can and shoot a bit right up exhaust,Only a little bit (4-5 seconds. Wipe any mess off. he wont see anything but what fun he will have trying to start car.
2. Emty 3-4 cans in engine bay.
If its major..... same again through letterbox about 2 feet behind front door ,Build a wall with it. Do it when he/she is away. Will take about 20 cans to do it.
3. Stick the ******* in a wheelybin (it helps if you knock them out!!) fill up to just below knee level. It should expand to top of bin ,just below there sholders.
4. If the Ciunt has "touched" a child etc .1 can up their *** should do the trick
Please do not try any of this at home folks!!
[This message has been edited by Luke (edited 28 August 2001).]
28 August 2001, 07:32 PM
#41
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by astraboy:
get the mans coffee cup and put one drop of phenolthalien(sp?) in it. fill with water, then pour away and allow the cup to dry. there is still residue in the cup. the effect? well he'll have to be linford christie to make it to the bog....[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Not a good idea if you get this wrong the result is DEATH!!!
It HAS happened
But i love the ping pong ball in the petrol tank
Might even use it
get the mans coffee cup and put one drop of phenolthalien(sp?) in it. fill with water, then pour away and allow the cup to dry. there is still residue in the cup. the effect? well he'll have to be linford christie to make it to the bog....[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Not a good idea if you get this wrong the result is DEATH!!!
It HAS happened
But i love the ping pong ball in the petrol tank
Might even use it
29 August 2001, 12:35 AM
#42
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Best ever (ruined a BRAND NEW BMW 850 - he couldn't even part-ex it !!)......
Go to a fishing shop, buy some blue onion boily flavouring. Whole bottle into his air vent. When he starts the car, the fan will pull it into the car and it will get into the upholdery, seats, carpets, etc. He'll never get rid of the smell and won't be able to use the car (unless he likes to STINK of blue onions!). Alternative flavours available (garlic, etc)
:-)
Go to a fishing shop, buy some blue onion boily flavouring. Whole bottle into his air vent. When he starts the car, the fan will pull it into the car and it will get into the upholdery, seats, carpets, etc. He'll never get rid of the smell and won't be able to use the car (unless he likes to STINK of blue onions!). Alternative flavours available (garlic, etc)
:-)
29 August 2001, 12:40 AM
#43
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Alternative - place an advert on Loot (www.loot.com)for a VERY cheap flat in central London/free magazines/his car for £5. Give his work, home and mobile number. He'll get calls for weeks (I got around 200/hr when someone did it to me !).
29 August 2001, 10:20 AM
#45
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This is a "Manchester" favourite....
Wrap dog **** in newspaper put it outside his door, set light to the newspaper and knock on his door
Result : Man comes to door, sees the paper alight, stamps on it voilently and gets covered
Wrap dog **** in newspaper put it outside his door, set light to the newspaper and knock on his door
Result : Man comes to door, sees the paper alight, stamps on it voilently and gets covered
29 August 2001, 11:16 AM
#46
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More of a wind up than revenge, and only useful for people with door knockers.
Get a lenght of fishing line and a 2 lb lead weight. Tie one end to each door knocker (one either side of the street.) Allow enough slack so that the weight is just touching the ground. Knock one door and then retreat to a safe distance. Guy 1 opens door, takes up slack and pulls knocker across the road. Think it is kids pissing about. Goes inside. Guy 2 opens door, takes up slack and pulls knocker across the road. Think it is kids pissing about. Goes inside.
Guy 1 opens door....
Soon both of them will be waiting behind door with baseball bat for first sign of movement outside.
You could also go for the people mountain. Phone every Pizza place, Chinese, Indian etc that will deliver to his area. Explain that you are having a party for 20 people and you would like them to deliver the food at a set time. Get them all there at the same time. Book as many taxis as you can for this time as well. Phone double glazing firms and get sales reps out. Phone kitchen firms and get the reps out. Insurance, pensions etc etc. If you plan this out for a week or two you can get 100+ people to arrive at his house at exactly the same time. A few days in advance, call the drug squad and tell them you believe there is going to be a massive party happening as cover for a drug distribution......
Get a lenght of fishing line and a 2 lb lead weight. Tie one end to each door knocker (one either side of the street.) Allow enough slack so that the weight is just touching the ground. Knock one door and then retreat to a safe distance. Guy 1 opens door, takes up slack and pulls knocker across the road. Think it is kids pissing about. Goes inside. Guy 2 opens door, takes up slack and pulls knocker across the road. Think it is kids pissing about. Goes inside.
Guy 1 opens door....
Soon both of them will be waiting behind door with baseball bat for first sign of movement outside.
You could also go for the people mountain. Phone every Pizza place, Chinese, Indian etc that will deliver to his area. Explain that you are having a party for 20 people and you would like them to deliver the food at a set time. Get them all there at the same time. Book as many taxis as you can for this time as well. Phone double glazing firms and get sales reps out. Phone kitchen firms and get the reps out. Insurance, pensions etc etc. If you plan this out for a week or two you can get 100+ people to arrive at his house at exactly the same time. A few days in advance, call the drug squad and tell them you believe there is going to be a massive party happening as cover for a drug distribution......
29 August 2001, 11:44 AM
#47
29 August 2001, 12:51 PM
#48
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A variation of the junk mail one.
Go through all the sad adverts in the back pages of magazines and write to them in victims name. Ask companies to phone victim at work.
Victim then spends all day on the phone receiving personal calls explaining that he doesn't want..
a) a chair elevator for the elderly
b) incontinent pants
c) A HEARING AID!
d) he definately does not want to build an airstrip in a Central African country (this was the best one, believe me)
The old favouite is laxative chocolate bars fed to his pet dog through the letterbox. No direct evidence left but plenty of indirect!
Go through all the sad adverts in the back pages of magazines and write to them in victims name. Ask companies to phone victim at work.
Victim then spends all day on the phone receiving personal calls explaining that he doesn't want..
a) a chair elevator for the elderly
b) incontinent pants
c) A HEARING AID!
d) he definately does not want to build an airstrip in a Central African country (this was the best one, believe me)
The old favouite is laxative chocolate bars fed to his pet dog through the letterbox. No direct evidence left but plenty of indirect!
08 August 2002, 11:52 PM
#49
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My year of waiting is nearly over 
This person is not going to have a clue
I will be victorious
My revenge will be served as cold as ice
Thank you all for the advice you gave
May I just say that Elvis has left the building for the last time
Lime
This person is not going to have a clue
I will be victorious
My revenge will be served as cold as ice
Thank you all for the advice you gave
May I just say that Elvis has left the building for the last time
Lime
09 August 2002, 12:36 AM
#50
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Damn man, you've waited patienlty and deserve that revenge!
But what did he do to you? You can mail me if you dont wanna post here....... nuclearnat24@hotmail.com
Which one(s) are you gonna do dude?
Cant believe you found this thread too, from your post count doesnt look like you come here much!
But what did he do to you? You can mail me if you dont wanna post here....... nuclearnat24@hotmail.com
Which one(s) are you gonna do dude?
Cant believe you found this thread too, from your post count doesnt look like you come here much!
14 August 2002, 11:36 PM
#58
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Fairly pathetic compared to Astraboy et al suggestions, but effective nonetheless.
Buy lots and lots of ripe bananas. Smear liberally over said miscreants car. Ensure every inch is covered, paying especial attention to the glass areas. Given a few hours dries as hard as concrete and is a nightmare to get off.
Speaking from indirect personal experience!
Buy lots and lots of ripe bananas. Smear liberally over said miscreants car. Ensure every inch is covered, paying especial attention to the glass areas. Given a few hours dries as hard as concrete and is a nightmare to get off.
Speaking from indirect personal experience!
15 August 2002, 08:52 AM
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Place an ad in The exchange and Mart that reads something like this
"FOR SALE, EMPTY COKE CAN, VERY INTERESTING HISTORY WITH PROVENANCE, OFFERS OVER £1500, CALL - (his mobile number)
Did this as a wind up a few years back, My mate got 30 odd calls over a week asking him about his empty coke can, he was going loopy at the end.
"FOR SALE, EMPTY COKE CAN, VERY INTERESTING HISTORY WITH PROVENANCE, OFFERS OVER £1500, CALL - (his mobile number)
Did this as a wind up a few years back, My mate got 30 odd calls over a week asking him about his empty coke can, he was going loopy at the end.
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