Alpine99

I have to say that scoob555 may have a point.. if not well phrased.. I too was bullied at school and it was because I was different.. Northern accent, southern school... Not much I could do about that.. My mate was bullied.. he's a ginner.. so probably deserved it..(joke).. If you are a little 'different' you attract attention and that can be a problem.. If you're mr average you meld into the pack and may not become the focus of attention.. Where Scoob555 is wrong is that some kids can't help being different but bullies do have a choice..

I was bullied at the ages of 5-8.. Unfortunately it was resolved by physical violence.. Something kids respect the most.. My mother switched from sympathetic to telling me it was my own fault and only I could resolve it by punching his lights out.. I eventually did this and hey presto no more aggro.. My mother said it was the hardest thing she ever had to do.. As a parent now, I believe her!

TelBoy

Different/quiet/small is one thing; blaming a lack of "social skills" in a kid is something else completely, in my opinion.

Time and again people are adding to the thread proving that there's usually only one thing a spiteful schoolkid understands - their victim standing up for themselves physically.

I remember kids who had no hope whatsoever of winning a fight getting stuck in, and indeed being crushed. But the respect they earned for sticking up for themselves almost always turned the situation around.

-=Buzz=-

I was bullied too, at secondary school. I've never hit anyone in my life, and really really wish I had. I used to fantasise about really giving the bullies a good pasting, often with chairs, iron bars etc.. What imaginations kids have eh?

I've got a few theories about why I'm the way I am, and years later now I'm a dad myself I'm deliberately trying to not "knock the stuffing" as it were out of my boy by being overly authoratative and occasionally letting him "win" some, something which I can never remember doing myself.

And one last thing - I'll bully anyone who bullies my son and take the consequences. At three years old he's an angel, and if that makes him "different" then there wil be lots of bullies who are going to be in for a bad time.

Sorry, not very PC and probably not helpfull, but I can't abide all this crap about "you can't do anything about it yourself". No one else will do it for you.

weapon69

UB- Your having a laugh aren't you?
Whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TelBoy

"Bad parenting" i could go with, but i doubt there's much evidence to support the theory that most bullies have no Father figure, convenient though that might be for a theory.

unclebuck

hmm... I thought that might raise a few eyebrows. Just my opinion, and my experience of life too.

whatever indeed.

UB

red_dog104

So, just remember lads that's all of you who came from families with no 'father figure', are all effiminate!

Diesel

"Diplomacy doesn't work on juvenile bullies". That's a good line and very true.

Its about base instincts not intellectualising or whinging to overworked teachers. This rough guy at school started bullying me once when he started joining our 'A' stream Metalwork class from his 'D' stream. I took it for a couple of months - it was only a few shoves and mouthing off now and again but it made me REALLY miserable. If it's a drama to adults remember its 10 times worse for a kid. It then got progressively worse – hassling me in corridors, playground etc…

I think it was having the backing of an older 'tougher' kid telling me to whack him one when he was least expecting it that made me do it. I just went up to him in metalwork and continually hit him as hard as I could and told him to leave me alone as he clutched his face. Bit of an uncomfortable mad fit of rage really - not what we ‘civilised’ and dare I say it ‘intelligent’ types want - but guess what, yes it worked a treat and I was much happier and had more respect in that school. The 'tough', 'rough' scumbag dreams of 3 holidays a year and a Scoob now – should have focussed his energies elsewhere at school shouldn’t he (gloat…)

Tale your lad to a martial arts style class as it is suggested and tell him to continually hit that guy as hard as he can THE SECOND HE SEES HIM when he goes back to school. He’ll have the upper hand then and an useful element of ‘scary’ unpredictability. He will be 100% happier in school too. Tell him to take any rap/detention like a man (with your full support this once to mitigate it)… Do make sure you have pre-empted any school comeback with recorded complaints and previous bullying concern.

As someone says a 5 year old wont do much physical damage, but can themselves be mentally damaged for life if this is not sorted NOW! Dont move schools...

D

pslewis

I have not read the whole of this thread but it is close to my heart this - being the Chairman of Governors at our 1000 pupil 11-16 year old school.

Personally, the teacher is fobbing you off until after the break - get an action plan in place NOW!!

I would give your lad extra food - try mustard sandwiches!! Spicecakes and some such horrible food .... I am sure he will give up!!

As a school governor I souldn't say this - BUT, scare the little **** witless!!

I see kids in Discipline Committees all the time, the ones who have been excluded .... without fail, the family unit is disfunctioning.

Its no good having a father around, anyone can be a father BUT it takes someone really special to be a daddy!! The same with mothers, any 13 year old girl can be a mother BUT, again, it takes MUCH more to be a mummy!! This is where society is letting our kids down badly ..... the scum are allowed to breed - they need to be sterilised at birth!!

Think about it, scum are having 5 or 6 or 7 kids!! they are all paid for by US!! they will be a drag on society for EVER!!

We had wars to get rid of them in the past, now they are flooding the streets - normal families may have 2 kids ...... we are simply being outnumbered!!

Pete

LG John

Dazza01, great story mate I hope you let him play playstation and chill out the whole time he was suspended from school

The alarming thing here is the amount of storys of kids that have snapped, hit back and then got suspended for it!?!!? What the FVCK is up with schools today that they punish the innocent, etc!?! The only explanation I can offer it that the bullies were actually VERY clever! They would wind you up quietly, verbally abuse you and physically harm you when ever there was nobody around or looking. They were very sly! I was constantly in trouble at school because I'd react to this and shout and scream in class!! Of course, the bullies laughed and got away scot free but I got detention after detention. As I've said before looking back I (as someone else said above) fantasise about having stood up in class and said to the teacher 'I've had enough of Brian bullying me and its going to end now' and proceeded to pound him there and then in front of the whole class and teacher.......it would have been worth the trouble I'd get into

By secondary school my parents had confronted his and the bully's own mother told me he was a complete sap and that I should thump him back! The problem is he totally owned me by this time and I won't like that I was scared of him

NACRO

PS Lewis said "the scum are allowed to breed - they need to be sterilised at birth!!"

An extreme point of view PS! I can see that there is a madness in your method (or is it the other way round?).

In my opinion the world would be better off without so many morons breeding (just look at some of the people on this board for a reason to legalise retro-active abortions) but sterlising them? Surely that's a bit extreme?

pslewis

Extreme? no!!

The alternative of killing them is extreme!!

Pete

[Edited by pslewis - 7/7/2003 4:56:16 PM]

LG John

Red, look at what Diesel, myself and a lot of others that have been bullied are saying. There is only one way to solve bullying in schools. Its not nice, its not pleasant and its horrible to have to encourage but in most cases it almost certainly is the only way. If you son is bullied from 5 years old onwards I can guarentee he won't develop to his full potential and I'm 100% sure as a parent you'll find the thought of that more terrifying than him being in a fight or two and a little trouble at school.

Good luck

LG John

I get verbally bullied on Scoobynet I'd hit back if I could figure out how to

NACRO

Get training, join your local nightclass.

LG John

Good call, I'm off to become the Rocky Balboa of internet abuse

Diesel

Spot on Mr Saxo.

Organic organsisms are all about dominance - just ask my pooch

unclebuck

Possibly a slight distortion. I can't believe it's *not* a factor in many cases though. The break up of the family unit has many side effects.

UB

TURBORAY

after thinking about it a bit longer,i remember certain boys who bullied consistently,being removed from "main stream" school,to one which was for so called "naughty kids",whare they were tough on teaching discipline and respect. i know one of the boys quite well as he lives in the same street as my mum,after being there ,he says it's one of the best things that happened to him,now he's been in the army for around 6 years,and is quite a decent bloke,with a child of his own,he came from quite a rough family (alcoholic mother,etc..)at least he's sorry for the things he's done and been able to make something of his life.

i think, one way or another,bullies should be made to realise the hell they put others through,and get given help as they're obviously disturbed,no matter what background they come from.

perhaps the bully in question should be moved to a different class of smaller size,so he gets watched a bit closer.

i don't see why you should upset your chid by moving schools,like my neighbour found out,it didn't take long before her kids were being bullied again,in their new school.

is there any way of finding out if this kid is bullying others? if other parents went in about him,as well as you, perhaps the school will have to realise there's a problem.

from donna.

Alpine99

Never thought I'd say this.. I'm with PSLewis... kids from scum families have little way out and generally end up breeding scum... sad but true..

Katana

This is why social security should stop this policy of giving the child to the mother if she is an unfit mother. The child would grow up from a bully and into a criminal/prostitute. I say scrap the dole and sew their hole..

scoobynutta555

Red dog take your chip off of your shoulder, stop moaning and get on with it. Perhaps the social skills point was wrong,(who knows whats the cause of each individual bullying incident) but theres nothing wrong with whatever else i have said. As for the gloating comment,i dont think so.

"Do you not remember ever being bullied because you were the one doing the bullying?! "

"Oh and I never said you were a bully now did I? I asked a question. No need to get defensive."

We can all sit here asking hypothetical questions when were really trying to insult the other person, cant we? Maybe ill sit here and making things up about you and throw a question mark on the end, if only i was bothered, which im not, so ciao.

robski

Just a small suggestion, find a few more slightly older kids and offer them £10 each if they go and give the bully a good slap during playtime and tell him to leave "your son" alone

gotta be worth £30

robski

p.s. if it doesnt work, find a few more and offer them £20 each etc

LG John

robski in that situation I find it esculates as the bully realises that reds son is just a ***** that needs his mates to he goes and gets his mates and before you know if you've got gangs of 5yo scrapping each other! To earn respect he needs to stand up for himself - remeber there is always someone with a bigger mate

Dazza013

Think about it, scum are having 5 or 6 or 7 kids!! they are all paid for by US!! they will be a drag on society for EVER!!


PS LEWIS hmmmmmmmmmm what about havin 4 kids then ?

Poor Guy

martial arts is the way to go.

bullying stopped when I started Tae Kwon Do.
almost broke a kids arm too!

The Saint

Martial arts is the way to go.
Take him now, and in a few months he will kick the **** out of the little turd that is bullying him.

A good dojo will teach discipline and toughness........


saint

robski

Martial arts could end up with him taking a right kicking
remember like everything else in life there is always someone better than you.

SaxoBoy yes its a risk you take. However I have seen (and I mean personally seen) someone who was hard as **** with a shotgun pointed at him who was told in no uncertain lines that if he continued to progress something he was doing he would die, it **** me up and I wasnt being pointed at. Talk about change of character afterwards, like everything, if you escalate something you need to be prepared to carry it through.

My post was pretty much tongue in cheek, ultimately though if you really want it sorted its the parents you take it up with if you get my drift. Whilst they are happy for said child to be a bully now they wont be so happy if they are the ones who suffer because of it.

robski

south-star

[Edited by south-star - 7/7/2003 8:36:44 PM]

Sith

Saint - Toughness, Some people are more emotionally charged and find it difficult to ignore comments or verbal abuse. If someone has a go at me with words it hits me hard. If some one takes a swing at me then I will launch at them. It is all part of your genetic make up.

I presume that's what you meant by toughness.