5 year Old Son being Bullied
07 July 2003, 09:03 PM
#91
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Martial Arts??? Hmmmmmmmmmm maybe for confidence and peace - cr4p for fighting in the street!!
A good street fighter would shove some martial Arts experts toes right up his 4rse - he would be completely Kung Fu cked!!
Real fighting is nasty, mean and without morals - they don't line up politely and come one by one, they don't care about getting hurt (unlike billy in your class at the village hall!!)
Pete
A good street fighter would shove some martial Arts experts toes right up his 4rse - he would be completely Kung Fu cked!!
Real fighting is nasty, mean and without morals - they don't line up politely and come one by one, they don't care about getting hurt (unlike billy in your class at the village hall!!)
Pete
07 July 2003, 09:32 PM
#93
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PS Lewis- not all martial arts are about teaching inner peace. The only serenity to be found at my old gym was when the sound of gloves hitting flesh stopped.
Boxing like other defensive arts teach self respect as well as giving the ability to strike back effectively. I'd advise everyone to do them.
Boxing like other defensive arts teach self respect as well as giving the ability to strike back effectively. I'd advise everyone to do them.
07 July 2003, 10:53 PM
#94
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PS Lewis: I said martial arts not frigging sports. Read the difference.
My old karate teacher (Muiji Suzki, 9th dan black belt) taught karate as a martial art not a sport. He taught you how to hurt and if necessary maim and kill people to protect your own life and those you loved. That is what a martial art is all about, not mincing about with stupid notions of "inner piece".
Its good. It works.
Saint
http://www.mugendo.org/index.html
[Edited by The Saint - 7/7/2003 10:56:46 PM]
My old karate teacher (Muiji Suzki, 9th dan black belt) taught karate as a martial art not a sport. He taught you how to hurt and if necessary maim and kill people to protect your own life and those you loved. That is what a martial art is all about, not mincing about with stupid notions of "inner piece".
Its good. It works.
Saint
http://www.mugendo.org/index.html
[Edited by The Saint - 7/7/2003 10:56:46 PM]
07 July 2003, 11:02 PM
#95
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Mark my words - a street fighter would tear a black belt 15th dan apart and feed him to the birds, thats all I was saying!!
When you are playing with tarquin and duayne in the gym the street fighter is getting his eyes poked out with a broken bottle in some alley while he is squeezing the life out of the opponents nuts!!
Remember the street is where the fight will take place and thats the jungle of the street fighter, its not some airconditioned gym or church hall!!
Its dangerous to think otherwise!!
Pete
When you are playing with tarquin and duayne in the gym the street fighter is getting his eyes poked out with a broken bottle in some alley while he is squeezing the life out of the opponents nuts!!
Remember the street is where the fight will take place and thats the jungle of the street fighter, its not some airconditioned gym or church hall!!
Its dangerous to think otherwise!!
Pete
07 July 2003, 11:19 PM
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Mark my words - a street fighter would tear a black belt 15th dan apart and feed him to the birds, thats all I was saying!!
i would like to see the likes of mike tyson get anywhere close to someone like bruce lee....
nurse!!!! take him back to his room for gawd sake!!!
PS: This scum society you talk about, does that include illegal speeders????
(Haven't laughed so much in ages!!!!!!)
good luck red_dog btw.
xx
Dazza
08 July 2003, 07:01 AM
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Agree with PS Lewis on this one.
Martial artists alway get really upset when their opponent fails to stand in the "right" stance or "come at them with the right moves" so that they can foil it with some impressive dance trick. As if real-world opponents will be so obliging!
Only boxing has any real-world value on the street in my book, and even that is fairly limited.
Martial artists alway get really upset when their opponent fails to stand in the "right" stance or "come at them with the right moves" so that they can foil it with some impressive dance trick. As if real-world opponents will be so obliging!
Only boxing has any real-world value on the street in my book, and even that is fairly limited.
08 July 2003, 07:58 AM
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Why don't you girls start a new thread on poofy martial artists and let it get back on track.
Red, as suggested by the governor on the board give the school a chance, but having spoken to them already that chance has now gone.
I would take it to the next level rather than have my littl'un go through all that foolishness.
Amazingly, no ex-bullies making any comments. Would be interesting to see what take they had regarding this.
Red, as suggested by the governor on the board give the school a chance, but having spoken to them already that chance has now gone.
I would take it to the next level rather than have my littl'un go through all that foolishness.
Amazingly, no ex-bullies making any comments. Would be interesting to see what take they had regarding this.
08 July 2003, 08:07 AM
#101
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Getting a bit off topic here I think with the which is the best way to shove a Kung Fu Kings feet up his deriere, we are talking about a 5 year old FFS 
When I was 5 we moved to Scotland and I was the only English kid in a rough school that went from infants to 6th form. The kids used to pick up the teachers cars and carry them off down the road, sometimes reparking them the right way up and sometimes not.
Whilst trying to pick up a broad Scots accent as quick as possible
I took up Judo, I was quite small but was tought how to get people off ballance an basically chuck them over my shoulder.
I was always taught to let them make the first move (which was the hard bit) then "hit em with a 5 bar gate" (to quote my teacher), The shock of going from vertical to horizontal with the wind knocked out of them, mean't at best you could run away, or if you were really pi$$ed with them you could stick around and have a bit more of a go!!!.
It gave me a bit of self respect and the bulling did stop quite quickly. My parents moved me on to another school after a while as I actually started to hang around with the kids that had been bullying me in the first place, and I dont think they wanted me to end up as a bullying little theif.
When I was 5 we moved to Scotland and I was the only English kid in a rough school that went from infants to 6th form. The kids used to pick up the teachers cars and carry them off down the road, sometimes reparking them the right way up and sometimes not.
Whilst trying to pick up a broad Scots accent as quick as possible
I took up Judo, I was quite small but was tought how to get people off ballance an basically chuck them over my shoulder.I was always taught to let them make the first move (which was the hard bit) then "hit em with a 5 bar gate" (to quote my teacher), The shock of going from vertical to horizontal with the wind knocked out of them, mean't at best you could run away, or if you were really pi$$ed with them you could stick around and have a bit more of a go!!!.
It gave me a bit of self respect and the bulling did stop quite quickly. My parents moved me on to another school after a while as I actually started to hang around with the kids that had been bullying me in the first place, and I dont think they wanted me to end up as a bullying little theif.
08 July 2003, 09:12 AM
#102
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this makes me laugh all this friggin martial art stuff. Mate of mine came up against one of these dudes, waving his arms around and all of that 
When my mate pulled a replica hand gun on him he soon shut the **** up I can tell you
I'd agree that on the street it get's dirty and who plays along to a script. If I was a expert in martial arts I'd not take on Tyson. One hit and he'd kill you
When my mate pulled a replica hand gun on him he soon shut the **** up I can tell you
I'd agree that on the street it get's dirty and who plays along to a script. If I was a expert in martial arts I'd not take on Tyson. One hit and he'd kill you
08 July 2003, 09:50 AM
#103
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Well, Marcus had a good day a t school yesterday. His first in ages. The older kids had heard what had happened and were playing footy with him and involving him in their games. I have told him that THE ONLY TIME to retaliate is if this little sh*t corners him and he can't get away, then he's to hit him as hard as he can and shout as loud as he can to draw attention to the situation.
I will see how it goes from here.
It's true that no bullies have expressed an opinion on here! I've found that not many people admit to have been a bully at school and the ones that do are really ashamed of it. Still, it would be nice to have their side of it and how and why they stopped doing it!
I will see how it goes from here.
It's true that no bullies have expressed an opinion on here! I've found that not many people admit to have been a bully at school and the ones that do are really ashamed of it. Still, it would be nice to have their side of it and how and why they stopped doing it!
08 July 2003, 10:41 AM
#104
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Someone did try to bully me in secondary school, I had a bit of a problem with this **** for a while, until one day I smacked him one in the mooey really hard. No more problems after that....he went on to pick on someone else.
Someone much older than me picked on me in primary school, and made my life a bit miserable. I got my elder beother to give them a good beating. End of story.
Saint
Someone much older than me picked on me in primary school, and made my life a bit miserable. I got my elder beother to give them a good beating. End of story.
Saint
08 July 2003, 11:17 AM
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I think its now getting to be a bit about how you actually define the term bullying?
There are many levels of interaction in the jungle/school. A few (usually scummy/damaged/bad homes) kids will always try to bully/not be nice to/ pick on everyone (particularly if they are from good homes or were perceived as being of a more usually dominant/higher class). The kid they try and bully will then /not be nice to/ pick on others. There are just so many layers and levels and it goes around in circles.
Most people picked on one guy in our secondary class – Smelly Kelly… Some pushed him about, some just hid his things, some took money from him etc. I wish I had been nicer to him the poor bugger (and one or two ‘weaker’ others) but it was more appropriate and certainly wiser to join in – particularly to divert any unwanted attention away from yourself (self-preservation at the expense of others – dog eat dog…); and I also wish some had been a it nicer to me to ultimately avoid those conflicts I hated… Understand this and it becomes obvious that the best life recourse is in standing up to a bully, physically if necessary. You have to just accept that to progress and have a happier life IMHO...
Its that organic organism dominance thing again – just follow the behavior of a troupe of baboons/chimps on TV. Its all the same as human behavior, and that’s so easy to understand IMHO. One of the reasons I like watching Big Brother
There are many levels of interaction in the jungle/school. A few (usually scummy/damaged/bad homes) kids will always try to bully/not be nice to/ pick on everyone (particularly if they are from good homes or were perceived as being of a more usually dominant/higher class). The kid they try and bully will then /not be nice to/ pick on others. There are just so many layers and levels and it goes around in circles.
Most people picked on one guy in our secondary class – Smelly Kelly… Some pushed him about, some just hid his things, some took money from him etc. I wish I had been nicer to him the poor bugger (and one or two ‘weaker’ others) but it was more appropriate and certainly wiser to join in – particularly to divert any unwanted attention away from yourself (self-preservation at the expense of others – dog eat dog…); and I also wish some had been a it nicer to me to ultimately avoid those conflicts I hated… Understand this and it becomes obvious that the best life recourse is in standing up to a bully, physically if necessary. You have to just accept that to progress and have a happier life IMHO...
Its that organic organism dominance thing again – just follow the behavior of a troupe of baboons/chimps on TV. Its all the same as human behavior, and that’s so easy to understand IMHO. One of the reasons I like watching Big Brother
08 July 2003, 03:37 PM
#106
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Glad to hear Marcus has had a better day at school and that some of the others seem to be rallying around.
I think (for what it's worth) that the advice you've given him is reasonably sound.
I was bullied off and on, sometimes quite severely, between the ages of 5 and 13. This was mainly at school and when I was at the youngest level in the scouts.
I never hit back or retaliated.
Luckily for me, bullying more or less went away by itself over time, but it's one of those things I'll never forget.
While being completely unacceptable, a bloody nose, bruises etc will usually heal.
The humiliation and loss of self esteem take a lot longer - maybe they never go away completely...
I'm 32 now. I never get into fights as a rule, but a few years ago, some **** squared up to me in a pub over a misunderstanding. Like a level headed chap, I talked the situation down, but I could still feel those pent up emotions welling up. I questioned myself - should I hit him or should I walk away. Heart said one thing, head said another.
I often wonder if I'd dealt with the bullying more assertively when I was a youngster, perhaps I'd have a bit more confidence now.
Oh well - guess I'll never know.
The "correct" thing to do (IMHO) is to formally complain, in writing, to the school.
In reality though, I fear that the only way for your son to survive this with his head held high is to stand up to it himself, no matter how hard it may seem.
Either way, he needs your support and clearly he's got that already.
I think (for what it's worth) that the advice you've given him is reasonably sound.
I was bullied off and on, sometimes quite severely, between the ages of 5 and 13. This was mainly at school and when I was at the youngest level in the scouts.
I never hit back or retaliated.
Luckily for me, bullying more or less went away by itself over time, but it's one of those things I'll never forget.
While being completely unacceptable, a bloody nose, bruises etc will usually heal.
The humiliation and loss of self esteem take a lot longer - maybe they never go away completely...
I'm 32 now. I never get into fights as a rule, but a few years ago, some **** squared up to me in a pub over a misunderstanding. Like a level headed chap, I talked the situation down, but I could still feel those pent up emotions welling up. I questioned myself - should I hit him or should I walk away. Heart said one thing, head said another.
I often wonder if I'd dealt with the bullying more assertively when I was a youngster, perhaps I'd have a bit more confidence now.
Oh well - guess I'll never know.
The "correct" thing to do (IMHO) is to formally complain, in writing, to the school.
In reality though, I fear that the only way for your son to survive this with his head held high is to stand up to it himself, no matter how hard it may seem.
Either way, he needs your support and clearly he's got that already.
08 July 2003, 04:18 PM
#107
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Mark my words - a street fighter would tear a black belt 15th dan apart and feed him to the birds, thats all I was saying!!
There are some martial arts that are very sporty and also very easy to achieve a black belt in and yes very often not very effective for anything other than sport. Then there are the rest My instructor is one mean fvcker!! Its not his skill that impresses me its his attitude. He knows he's hard as fvck, he just knows it through and through and you can see it just to look at him. Some idiot squared up to him in Glasgow
the other week and he ended the situation just by looking at the boy (who immediately backed down). You can see in his eyes the second he focuses his attention that he could totally destroy you....its quite freaky actually!! The thing is he was a street fighting type but now he has well polished skills to boot - these are the truely hard people He is this way because he trained to be this way. He applied himself and turned up to as many classes as he could and pushed his abilities. Turning up to Kung Fu, Kook Sool, Oragami isn't enough, you need to focus while you are there and really push your self! I'm no fighter and I'm a very low belt still but I know that I could beat cr@p out of some of the guys several belts (years of training) above me - simply because they turn up, do what they got to do and go home. I turn up and I learn and that's why you can never IMHO argue that one art is better than the other, etc, etc. Its all down to the individual and the application of that individual.As someone said though, this is not relevant at the moment as we are talking about a 5yo old!! All he needs is the confidence in himself to nut the boy
08 July 2003, 04:24 PM
#108
My little sister got bullied and had to move schools 
It was a real pain because when it came to secondary school time she would have been back with them so she went to another school 10 miles away the girl that did it lives in the house opposite us and the parents are well known local thugs so I know what you are going through. This must have been getting on for 8 or 9 years ago now but I still remember it well.
Paul
It was a real pain because when it came to secondary school time she would have been back with them so she went to another school 10 miles away the girl that did it lives in the house opposite us and the parents are well known local thugs so I know what you are going through. This must have been getting on for 8 or 9 years ago now but I still remember it well.Paul
08 July 2003, 05:45 PM
#109
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red
while the argument rages about whether a shark with a bottle is harder than a tiger with a chainsaw is harder than a glaswegian with a toothpick etc etc I'm glad to hear Marcus had an easier day. sometimes these things just pass and i think it's easy to forget once you're older that it's not the easiest thing to fight back when you're young and scared. my experience was that it was the only thing that worked in the end though and ultimately sorting your own problems gives you a big self-respect boost that makes you less of a target in future. Good luck!
while the argument rages about whether a shark with a bottle is harder than a tiger with a chainsaw is harder than a glaswegian with a toothpick etc etc I'm glad to hear Marcus had an easier day. sometimes these things just pass and i think it's easy to forget once you're older that it's not the easiest thing to fight back when you're young and scared. my experience was that it was the only thing that worked in the end though and ultimately sorting your own problems gives you a big self-respect boost that makes you less of a target in future. Good luck!
08 July 2003, 06:04 PM
#110
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Let your son hit them back once, good and proper.
I was bullied at schhol because i was "Big" still am now
If i got beat up (4 on 1) my parents said let the school handle it
(my dad had been in a police cell for beating up his neighbour, who at the time was beating his wife with a stick, he didnt want me in a cell) but surprise the school did nowt.
We found out that the main bullies parents were upper class and played tennis with the school director.
So my father said then just hit them back.
Next time 3 of them confronted me 1 of them charged at me tripped over something and i accidentely (really) kneed him in the face.
That was the last time i ever had troubles with them.
p.s. i saw 1 of them last week driving a corsa and i know another is a dopehead with nothing accomplished in life.
Jarno
I was bullied at schhol because i was "Big" still am now
If i got beat up (4 on 1) my parents said let the school handle it
(my dad had been in a police cell for beating up his neighbour, who at the time was beating his wife with a stick, he didnt want me in a cell) but surprise the school did nowt.
We found out that the main bullies parents were upper class and played tennis with the school director.
So my father said then just hit them back.
Next time 3 of them confronted me 1 of them charged at me tripped over something and i accidentely (really) kneed him in the face.
That was the last time i ever had troubles with them.
p.s. i saw 1 of them last week driving a corsa and i know another is a dopehead with nothing accomplished in life.
Jarno
08 July 2003, 06:18 PM
#111
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Your son is going to have to learn to stand up for himself plain and simple. The school will do nothing and could even make matters worse. I did Karate when I was a teenager and to be honest it didn't really help a great deal in day to day self confidence, if someone hit me I'd not hit back and on the few occasions I came close to hitting someone who was bullying me I'd throw the punch and stop myself making contact, and then take a beating...I just couldn't bring myself to hit someone.
Except one day when I was about 15 in the school yard a football hit me and I kicked it away...suddenly I was grabbed round the throat by a big bruiser of a lad. He strangled and threatened me, then walked away and wrenched on my tie....I don't know what snapped but I blacked out and the next clear memory I had was of seeing huge bright blue bruises all over the guys face and him begging me to stop hitting him. Anyway, as it turned out he was in the year below and known as the hardest lad in the year and a proper bully to boot....AND the harder younger brother of the biggest bully in my year too...who never said a word about it afterwards. As it transpired his parents took him to hospital that night and I was suspended the next day. My friends were called into the Headmasters office to be asked if I'd hit him with a baseball bat. The headmaster said he had had it coming for years but had no option but to suspend me because of the damage I'd done to his face. The headmasters son started going to my karate class a couple of weeks later.
I'd definately recommend you take him to karate ASAP as the longer this goes on the worse it will get. He may still not stand up for himself for years, but one day he just may decide enoughs enough as I did.
Except one day when I was about 15 in the school yard a football hit me and I kicked it away...suddenly I was grabbed round the throat by a big bruiser of a lad. He strangled and threatened me, then walked away and wrenched on my tie....I don't know what snapped but I blacked out and the next clear memory I had was of seeing huge bright blue bruises all over the guys face and him begging me to stop hitting him. Anyway, as it turned out he was in the year below and known as the hardest lad in the year and a proper bully to boot....AND the harder younger brother of the biggest bully in my year too...who never said a word about it afterwards. As it transpired his parents took him to hospital that night and I was suspended the next day. My friends were called into the Headmasters office to be asked if I'd hit him with a baseball bat. The headmaster said he had had it coming for years but had no option but to suspend me because of the damage I'd done to his face. The headmasters son started going to my karate class a couple of weeks later.
I'd definately recommend you take him to karate ASAP as the longer this goes on the worse it will get. He may still not stand up for himself for years, but one day he just may decide enoughs enough as I did.
08 July 2003, 06:31 PM
#112
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while the argument rages about whether a shark with a bottle is harder than a tiger with a chainsaw is harder than a glaswegian with a toothpick etc etc
Nice one mate Re: the last post - see when you are in horse stance for 20mins at a time throwing punches at thin air what do you think you are doing? Developing muscles and accuracy perhaps
Might explain why you pounded the guy so well and so easily Actually, the most amazing thing about taking up a marial art/self-defense class is the realisation of just how lame you actually are! The difference between someone thats never thrown a punch in his life and someone thats trained for years is like the difference between an F1 car and a 1.0 saxo! Its funny now toy fighting with my brother (who doesn't street fight or go to class). He slings in big wide punches and you can bitch slap him at least 5 times before it lands anywhere near you The more I think about this thread the more it hits me just how young this wee guy is! Perhaps 5 is a little too young for us to be encouraging hitting
Its sad that kids have actually learned how to go round beating up and bullying other kids at that age!?! Maybe you need to get this kid yourself Red and scream at him till he pees himself with fear
08 July 2003, 11:23 PM
#114
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I'm teaching my 3 (YES THREE!) year old to hit back if hit first.
08 July 2003, 11:46 PM
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<do not exlcude your kid - push until the bully is excluded >
the bully will not be excluded. The school get a 5 grand fine when they permanantly exclude a pupil. Do think they willdo that only for the bully to get put back in on appeal? dont think so.
I was bullied on and off throughout my school life. Everything from verbal to a stanley knive in my hand. Didnt like it one bit. Surprisingly it was a number of different methods that solved each case. One of the bullies (middle school) became my best friend, one was stopped with school intervention, one was stopped by me going psycho on him and chasing him two miles down the road armed with a broken bottle
What I wouldnt give to have a time machine and go back and save myself from all the **** I used to go through. Esp. from Jason Enticknap, I remember his name to this day it was so bad. I would do nasty things to him if I could go back. I would make him suffer for what he did to me.
Red, read that last paragraph again. I'm 26 now and what he did to me happened when I was 13. It still haunts me to this day what happened to me at school. Do you want that to happen to your kid? I dont have kids, but when I do I will do my utmost to ensure that they NEVER have to go through what I went through. I wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy, let alone my own child.Do ANYTHING necessary to ensure your childs welfare. If it gets results then its worth doing. If it was me? Then I would make it my business to talk to the kid. If he doesnt listen, then talk to the parents, if that doesent work then kidnap the little ***** and feed him a years supply of **** sandwiches and then dump him naked at south mimms services with BULLY written allover his body in permanant ink.
astraboy.
the bully will not be excluded. The school get a 5 grand fine when they permanantly exclude a pupil. Do think they willdo that only for the bully to get put back in on appeal? dont think so.
I was bullied on and off throughout my school life. Everything from verbal to a stanley knive in my hand. Didnt like it one bit. Surprisingly it was a number of different methods that solved each case. One of the bullies (middle school) became my best friend, one was stopped with school intervention, one was stopped by me going psycho on him and chasing him two miles down the road armed with a broken bottle
What I wouldnt give to have a time machine and go back and save myself from all the **** I used to go through. Esp. from Jason Enticknap, I remember his name to this day it was so bad. I would do nasty things to him if I could go back. I would make him suffer for what he did to me.
Red, read that last paragraph again. I'm 26 now and what he did to me happened when I was 13. It still haunts me to this day what happened to me at school. Do you want that to happen to your kid? I dont have kids, but when I do I will do my utmost to ensure that they NEVER have to go through what I went through. I wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy, let alone my own child.Do ANYTHING necessary to ensure your childs welfare. If it gets results then its worth doing. If it was me? Then I would make it my business to talk to the kid. If he doesnt listen, then talk to the parents, if that doesent work then kidnap the little ***** and feed him a years supply of **** sandwiches and then dump him naked at south mimms services with BULLY written allover his body in permanant ink.
astraboy.
09 July 2003, 12:04 PM
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Heather,
I wasn't going to reply anymore to this thread. It's doing my head in and making my blood boil!
I couldn't agree more with your sentiments and advice.
Give the teachers/head/school a chance. These are 5 year olds, not 13 year olds. Schools have changed somewhat in the last 10-15 yrs, and there is also suspension prior to expulsion (which you don't get fined for ).
By everyone saying "the school will not be interested" e.t.c e.t.c. you are not giving them the chance. If they do nothing afterwards, then fine take things further..just give them the chance in the first place.
red_dog..I hope the situation with your son sorts itself out soon.
I wasn't going to reply anymore to this thread. It's doing my head in and making my blood boil!
I couldn't agree more with your sentiments and advice.
Give the teachers/head/school a chance. These are 5 year olds, not 13 year olds. Schools have changed somewhat in the last 10-15 yrs, and there is also suspension prior to expulsion (which you don't get fined for
).By everyone saying "the school will not be interested" e.t.c e.t.c. you are not giving them the chance. If they do nothing afterwards, then fine take things further..just give them the chance in the first place.
red_dog..I hope the situation with your son sorts itself out soon.