Family Trouble
14 July 2003, 10:18 PM
#31
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To cut a long story short, he asked me not to contact him again and especially not at work- as he didn't want them to know i exist.
That is a really shítty thing to tell someone though
14 July 2003, 11:58 PM
#32
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As far as I am concerned it doesnt matter to me in the slightest if I am related to someone or not - if I get on with them then they are part of my life - if not then they are not. This goes for everyone I know including my entire family!
Life is too short to be with people that arent worth it!
Life is too short to be with people that arent worth it!
15 July 2003, 08:44 AM
#33
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Thanks for all the replies
The only reason I haven't given up on my Dad a long time ago is because I don't have any other family, one grandparent and my Mum (who couldn't be less bothered). So in my head I have some great reunion in mind, but it ain't gonna happen
The only reason I haven't given up on my Dad a long time ago is because I don't have any other family, one grandparent and my Mum (who couldn't be less bothered). So in my head I have some great reunion in mind, but it ain't gonna happen
15 July 2003, 09:20 AM
#34
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Im sorry i have nothing really to add to this, but what i would say is print these pages off and inclose them in your letter.
That way he might get the message what an ar$e he being.
Look in other directions for love and support !!! Dont wait for this looser to give you it !!!
Anyone that can tell his daughter to "NOT CALL AGAIN" isnt worth the effort, you will be better off with out him, even if it dosent feel like that at the momnet.
GOOD LUCK IN THE FUTURE !
That way he might get the message what an ar$e he being.
Look in other directions for love and support !!! Dont wait for this looser to give you it !!!
Anyone that can tell his daughter to "NOT CALL AGAIN" isnt worth the effort, you will be better off with out him, even if it dosent feel like that at the momnet.
GOOD LUCK IN THE FUTURE !
15 July 2003, 09:26 AM
#35
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Its not as easy as that, I actually spoke to him on the phone last night after Weapon69 did and he said I hadn't heard his side of the story blah blah blah and his attitude was so childish I couldnt believe it I didn't bite which I had to really bit my lip to stop me doing it but this bloke actually believes he is not doing anything wrong and would ignore everything said on here. [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
I didn't bite which I had to really bit my lip to stop me doing it but this bloke actually believes he is not doing anything wrong and would ignore everything said on here. [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
15 July 2003, 09:43 AM
#36
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Bravo-he just twists everything so hes the victim. He will lie to you, either because hes convinced himself its truth or because he has no morals/concience whatsoever. You haven't even scratched the surface of what hes like.
*Sighs*
*Sighs*
15 July 2003, 10:13 AM
#37
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I know, I told you I didn't believe his bollocks but being confrontational with him would have meant he would have put the phone down and that wouldnt have got anywhere. At the moment I got him to agree on principal to meeting you and lets see what happens.
16 July 2003, 09:40 AM
#38
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Ahh worked out why the mobile phone was switched off, the father is with his girlfriend at weekends, and guess what? He doesn't want her to know i exist either!!
Said he's got his own life now. Thats nice for him
Said he's got his own life now. Thats nice for him
16 July 2003, 10:14 AM
#39
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Good.. Time for you to build your life without him.
Don't get hung up on him, because it's not working. We don't speak to my mother's parents for our own reasons. Couldn't give a toss about them myself. I might turn up to the funeral, but that's just to make sure the ******* are dead.
Anyone who causes pain and hurt without thought for the consequences does NOT deserve your time, let alone your love.
Don't get hung up on him, because it's not working. We don't speak to my mother's parents for our own reasons. Couldn't give a toss about them myself. I might turn up to the funeral, but that's just to make sure the ******* are dead.
Anyone who causes pain and hurt without thought for the consequences does NOT deserve your time, let alone your love.
16 July 2003, 11:32 AM
#40
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I now agree. Not wasting anymore time on people who only want to put me down and treat me like ****. Their loss. I just hope he treats any other kids hes got better.
10 August 2003, 07:35 PM
#41
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Update of the situation is that contact was made on the phone, but its too late. Biological Father doesn't want to know. So I'm not wasting anymore thought on him. My life will continue as though HE doesn't exist.
What a tw@t he is
What a tw@t he is
10 August 2003, 08:14 PM
#43
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Weapon69,
I have a similar siruation but the other way round. My stepdad is a top bloke, he'll do anything to help anyone. I was struggling with something last week and he dropped evrything and was round in 20 minutes.
He has two daughters from his first marraige 30 years ago and five grandchildren.
His two daughters don't have anything to do with him, he was 60 last year and we had a big party for him. I spoke to his daughters but they wouldn't come, not even a birthday card.
My stepdad says its OK and it doesn't bother him but deep down its obvious it does.
He says the thing that makes it OK is the people thats in his life now and the love, support and friendship he receives from them.
So that's where I'm coming from, think about the positive people in your life. I don't know your situation but in the future you could me married with kids of your own. Just think what your selfish dad will be missing out on then.
Lee
I have a similar siruation but the other way round. My stepdad is a top bloke, he'll do anything to help anyone. I was struggling with something last week and he dropped evrything and was round in 20 minutes.
He has two daughters from his first marraige 30 years ago and five grandchildren.
His two daughters don't have anything to do with him, he was 60 last year and we had a big party for him. I spoke to his daughters but they wouldn't come, not even a birthday card.
My stepdad says its OK and it doesn't bother him but deep down its obvious it does.
He says the thing that makes it OK is the people thats in his life now and the love, support and friendship he receives from them.
So that's where I'm coming from, think about the positive people in your life. I don't know your situation but in the future you could me married with kids of your own. Just think what your selfish dad will be missing out on then.
Lee
10 August 2003, 09:11 PM
#44
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not exactly the same but i aint seen my "da" in about 3 years now he would ring me up every now and again but to be honest i dont want anything to do with him and couldn't care less about him. forget about the ******* thats what i say god damn waste of space, if he isnt willing to love u, *** em. getting someone pregnant doesnt make him ur dad, ur dad is the person that looks after u and brings u up its got nothing to do with genes or nowt, thats what i've learnt.
10 August 2003, 10:01 PM
#45
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I agree with that madjay.
I made a promise to myself that this would be the last time i begged my dad to know me. And it will be, for the rest of my life. The man i regarded as my Dad died last year and he knew it. Theres no way my kids (if i ever have any) are not going to know their Dad though. I'd string him up if someone did that!
There are some total b@stards (biatches too) out there
I made a promise to myself that this would be the last time i begged my dad to know me. And it will be, for the rest of my life. The man i regarded as my Dad died last year and he knew it. Theres no way my kids (if i ever have any) are not going to know their Dad though. I'd string him up if someone did that!
There are some total b@stards (biatches too) out there
10 August 2003, 10:33 PM
#46
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i dont know how people can neglect there offspring this way. i am still young but if i got someone pregnant at the mo i'd crap myself but i'd also be very happy cus i like children and having a family of my own is probably one of my strongest most desired ambitions.
10 August 2003, 11:20 PM
#47
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Weapon, He is the one who will miss out. When you go on to have a family of your own he will be missing the most profound thing in his life. My son made me a grandma in Feb. I wasn't too hot on being a MUm when he was a baby, just not a baby person..... BUT this grandson has been like a total turning point to me. I love him to bits and would do anything for him (and of course his dad now). Its made the whole picture complete. People like your pop cop out before it gets really good. His Loss.
10 August 2003, 11:33 PM
#48
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Mrs MooseRacer is in a similar position to you weapon, her mum + dad split up and her dad started seeing another woman. She proceeded to physically abuse both his kids, and to cut a long story short he ended up choosing her over his 2 kids.
She hasn't seen him for 20 years, he's missed her growing up, leaving school, getting a job, getting married, he's never seen his grandchildren - and most liekly never will and most importantly he was responsible for an awful lot of hurt in both his children's lives.
Both Mrs Mooseracer and her brother still have some issues with what they went through, but they are both happy and have their own loving families who do care.
As hard as it is, don't demean youeself by carrying on begging to see him, you've tried and he doesn't want to know. You really must concentrate on the people around you who do care about you, and do love you.
I'm sure it will be hard, I wish you all the best.
She hasn't seen him for 20 years, he's missed her growing up, leaving school, getting a job, getting married, he's never seen his grandchildren - and most liekly never will and most importantly he was responsible for an awful lot of hurt in both his children's lives.
Both Mrs Mooseracer and her brother still have some issues with what they went through, but they are both happy and have their own loving families who do care.
As hard as it is, don't demean youeself by carrying on begging to see him, you've tried and he doesn't want to know. You really must concentrate on the people around you who do care about you, and do love you.
I'm sure it will be hard, I wish you all the best.
30 December 2003, 03:56 PM
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Sorry to dredge this thread up from the arc again but need more advice plz.
Tried again (even though i said i wouldn't) to get in contact with my Dad again b4 Xmas. Had to find him off 192.com as he changed his phone number after i contacted him last time. I can't even get him to talk to me now All i wanted was a conversation and reasons why he shouldn't want anything to do with me 
I stewed on it all Xmas and now i don't know whether to actually start causing trouble for him (i.e phone his work up until every member of staff knows he has a daughter he ignores and gives him **** over it) or just TRY and leave it and say hey ho never mind?
At this point in my life i can't accept that i have to leave it. V tempted to make his life hell.
Tried again (even though i said i wouldn't) to get in contact with my Dad again b4 Xmas. Had to find him off 192.com as he changed his phone number after i contacted him last time. I can't even get him to talk to me now
All i wanted was a conversation and reasons why he shouldn't want anything to do with me I stewed on it all Xmas and now i don't know whether to actually start causing trouble for him (i.e phone his work up until every member of staff knows he has a daughter he ignores and gives him **** over it) or just TRY and leave it and say hey ho never mind?
At this point in my life i can't accept that i have to leave it. V tempted to make his life hell.
30 December 2003, 04:20 PM
#56
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Because you haven't dropped it since starting this post and the sooner the situation is resolved one way or another the better, not just for my sanity but for yours too!
I got you the numbers knowing that he wasn't going to change. However you still wont see what the total waste of time he is. You wont see that the only link there is is biological. There is nothing left to fight for, nothing to salvage from getting in touch with him, he is a cvnt and will continue to ruin your life the more you try and chase him.
If I thought for one second anything good would come from that waste of space and pathetic excuse for a human being then I would encourage you to chase him. This is not the case though and you need to see that he is never going to change his ways. After my conversation with him he promised me he would come and see you. What did he do? He disappeared with out trace like the coward he really is. The only way you are going to see him is if me and a few mates go and abduct him from his home and bring him to you!
I got you the numbers knowing that he wasn't going to change. However you still wont see what the total waste of time he is. You wont see that the only link there is is biological. There is nothing left to fight for, nothing to salvage from getting in touch with him, he is a cvnt and will continue to ruin your life the more you try and chase him.
If I thought for one second anything good would come from that waste of space and pathetic excuse for a human being then I would encourage you to chase him. This is not the case though and you need to see that he is never going to change his ways. After my conversation with him he promised me he would come and see you. What did he do? He disappeared with out trace like the coward he really is. The only way you are going to see him is if me and a few mates go and abduct him from his home and bring him to you!
30 December 2003, 04:21 PM
#57
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Sooz just try and forget it and respect your fathers wishes. Time to move on and not dwell on it anymore. That's harsh to accept probably, but he can't make it any plainer that he doesn't want contact with you.
30 December 2003, 04:32 PM
#59
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Bob - undercover mission eh? lol - trying to add some humor here, probably badly!
If he don't want to know, not much you can do really Sooz, sad, but true. Just let it lie and get on with your life.
Now, get down the pub and get some booze in you!
lol - trying to add some humor here, probably badly!If he don't want to know, not much you can do really Sooz, sad, but true. Just let it lie and get on with your life.
Now, get down the pub and get some booze in you!
30 December 2003, 04:34 PM
#60
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Gotta agree with Redkop. It might be difficult (I am guessing as this has never happened to me), but you have made attempt after attempt and every time he has walked away. He even went to the effort of changing his home phone number, this to me clearly says that he does not want any contact
As hard as it may be, I'd leave him alone, even if he did want to talk I am sure you would be full of resentment towards him (I know I would) and you would constantly being wondering if he would walk away again.
You are better off without him.
Darren
As hard as it may be, I'd leave him alone, even if he did want to talk I am sure you would be full of resentment towards him (I know I would) and you would constantly being wondering if he would walk away again.
You are better off without him.
Darren