Is this what British life is all about?
10 September 2003, 02:35 PM
#34
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I have been horsing one into the Mrs sister for about 4 years now.
Got caught gorping her t1ts once at a BBQ but got away with a caution. No points or fines.
Got caught gorping her t1ts once at a BBQ but got away with a caution. No points or fines.
10 September 2003, 02:55 PM
#40
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Scooby96 - it's an average day, so 45 min = average, ie 6/7 nights it's 10 minutes, on the seventh night i'm soo drunk it takes 4 and a quarter hours LOL
Chuck
(Thanks for fighting my corner Telboy, I know you had only good intentions even if you misunderstood)
Chuck
(Thanks for fighting my corner Telboy, I know you had only good intentions
even if you misunderstood)
10 September 2003, 03:31 PM
#42
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This American Life:
05:30 - wake up, get out of bed before 06:00
06:00 - make coffee, check e-mail, decline ***** enlargement offers
06:10 - sht, shwr & shv
06:30 - stash folding bed, release ferret who has been rattling cage for 20 mins
06:45 - select clothes for work day before daylight
06:50 - pull ferret out of kitchen trash
07:00 - cage ferret, gather things, go to work
07:15 - drive to office, attempt to see the road in spite of idiot 4X4s blocking view
07:30 - arrive at work, start computer, await login opportunity
07:35 - log in to In/Out page, de-facto time clock
07:40 through
15:40 - document boring grocery distribution software, fend off bank calls about delinquent loans, decline 50 ***** enlargement offers & 20 mortgage refinance offers & 10 spy-on-bored-housewives offers & 5 spy-on-everyone offers & 250 online-pharmacy offers
15:45 - drive home, attempt to see the road in spite of idiot 4X4s blocking view
16:00 - arrive home, turn off air conditioning that stepdaughter set to lowest possible setting (I put a screw in the wall so the c*nt can't set it below 70F, otherwise she would set it to 50F)
16:05 - make first cocktail - subsequent cocktails will be multi-tasked with other activities
16:10 - clean kitchen sink that step-daughter filled with dirty dishes
16:30 - empty kitchen trash that step-daughter filled and will NEVER carry out
16:35 - fantasize about the day step-daughter turns 18, moves out, and discovers that dishes don't wash themselves, suppress spiteful laugh
16:45 - cook supper from scratch, release ferret again
16:50 - remove ferret from bathroom trash
18:00 - serve supper to spouse, watch step-daughter choose fast food
18:00 through
21:00 - watch spouse watching crap TV, attempt to ignore yet another episode of Queer as Folk
21:00 through
23:00 - attempt to sleep while freezing because step-daughter has turned the AC all the way down again, hug spouse to no response
01:00 - get out of bed, turn off TV & AC, go back to bed. Ponder electric bill that no one else will help pay.
06:00 - lather, rinse, repeat
and remember to SMILE
05:30 - wake up, get out of bed before 06:00
06:00 - make coffee, check e-mail, decline ***** enlargement offers
06:10 - sht, shwr & shv
06:30 - stash folding bed, release ferret who has been rattling cage for 20 mins
06:45 - select clothes for work day before daylight
06:50 - pull ferret out of kitchen trash
07:00 - cage ferret, gather things, go to work
07:15 - drive to office, attempt to see the road in spite of idiot 4X4s blocking view
07:30 - arrive at work, start computer, await login opportunity
07:35 - log in to In/Out page, de-facto time clock
07:40 through
15:40 - document boring grocery distribution software, fend off bank calls about delinquent loans, decline 50 ***** enlargement offers & 20 mortgage refinance offers & 10 spy-on-bored-housewives offers & 5 spy-on-everyone offers & 250 online-pharmacy offers
15:45 - drive home, attempt to see the road in spite of idiot 4X4s blocking view
16:00 - arrive home, turn off air conditioning that stepdaughter set to lowest possible setting (I put a screw in the wall so the c*nt can't set it below 70F, otherwise she would set it to 50F)
16:05 - make first cocktail - subsequent cocktails will be multi-tasked with other activities
16:10 - clean kitchen sink that step-daughter filled with dirty dishes
16:30 - empty kitchen trash that step-daughter filled and will NEVER carry out
16:35 - fantasize about the day step-daughter turns 18, moves out, and discovers that dishes don't wash themselves, suppress spiteful laugh
16:45 - cook supper from scratch, release ferret again
16:50 - remove ferret from bathroom trash
18:00 - serve supper to spouse, watch step-daughter choose fast food
18:00 through
21:00 - watch spouse watching crap TV, attempt to ignore yet another episode of Queer as Folk
21:00 through
23:00 - attempt to sleep while freezing because step-daughter has turned the AC all the way down again, hug spouse to no response
01:00 - get out of bed, turn off TV & AC, go back to bed. Ponder electric bill that no one else will help pay.
06:00 - lather, rinse, repeat
and remember to SMILE
10 September 2003, 03:39 PM
#47
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I have been horsing one into the Mrs sister for about 4 years now.
Got caught gorping her t1ts once at a BBQ but got away with a caution. No points or fines.
Got caught gorping her t1ts once at a BBQ but got away with a caution. No points or fines.
I really need that kind of excitment in my life! Its so wrong but I'm guessing sooooo good 
10 September 2003, 05:21 PM
#50
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Step-Daughter's Day:
09:00 - get out of bed, use bathroom
09:05 - turn air conditioning to lowest possible setting
09:06 - go back to bed, crawl under heavy blankets, sleep with TV turned on until 13:00, turning on 300-watt halogen light optional
13:00 - prepare instant meal, leave dishes in kitchen sink
13:10 - return to room, watch more TV, further sleeping optional
17:30 - turn up nose at supper, request money to buy fast food
19:00 through
04:00 - party in room, watch TV, occasionally go to kitchen to make snacks and leave dishes, stuff trash can, confirm that AC is at lowest possible setting
09:00 - repeat
09:00 - get out of bed, use bathroom
09:05 - turn air conditioning to lowest possible setting
09:06 - go back to bed, crawl under heavy blankets, sleep with TV turned on until 13:00, turning on 300-watt halogen light optional
13:00 - prepare instant meal, leave dishes in kitchen sink
13:10 - return to room, watch more TV, further sleeping optional
17:30 - turn up nose at supper, request money to buy fast food
19:00 through
04:00 - party in room, watch TV, occasionally go to kitchen to make snacks and leave dishes, stuff trash can, confirm that AC is at lowest possible setting
09:00 - repeat
10 September 2003, 05:36 PM
#53
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just seen this thread, just read duck_ponds daily routine
i have just been crying with laughter
got the other 2 pages to read now
chris
i have just been crying with laughter
got the other 2 pages to read now
chris
10 September 2003, 05:54 PM
#55
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Lizard - I think it was a well deserved moniker that you gave her. Telboy only pretends to be sensetive. Anyway - your posts cheered me up; made my day seem pretty good. Until I almost knocked myself out when I banged my head on a low tree branch in the car park of an electrical store...
10 September 2003, 05:55 PM
#57
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"I'm obvously in some reality vacuum today. People calling their stepdaughter a "c*nt" now..?? "
O 'great here we go another scoobynet Dyson thread....
O 'great here we go another scoobynet Dyson thread....
10 September 2003, 06:19 PM
#58
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Please, she prefers to go by the moniker Her Majesty. What can you say about a mixed-race cheerleader whose underpants say It's All About Me...
She has yet to mature, and may never do so. She has no conception of helping around the house, she leaves every chore for someone else. Someday, she will have to run her own household. Or, maybe she'll just get some sugar daddy who will tolerate her and provide her with a home she can laze in for the rest of her life.
10 September 2003, 06:26 PM
#60
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No teenager knows their born until they wind up living in a cottage in aberdeenshire with an LSD crazed violent criminal from some place a little north of Nottingham - that's my experience anyway. It certainly concentrates the mind on who emptied the bin last...