Co-habiting with girl friend - how do you work it regarding bills etc?
26 September 2003, 10:08 AM
#62
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Weapon:
Yes, you have some rights when it comes to notice periods.
Tenancy agreements are the only way to go as all this (sorry) total crap about "it wont happen to us" "I'll never do that.." is just, well, rubbish.
Steve.
Yes, you have some rights when it comes to notice periods.
Tenancy agreements are the only way to go as all this (sorry) total crap about "it wont happen to us" "I'll never do that.." is just, well, rubbish.
Steve.
26 September 2003, 10:14 AM
#63
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I have no intention of throwing you out, just like you have no intention of taking me for every penny you can get. However like I keep trying to explian to you, when a lot of couples split up when living together, it can get very nasty and all previous feelings go out the window and nastiness takes over, hence taking the other for all they are worth. You know I have been through this before, it doesn't make you the same person as the evil b!tch I was married to just because I want to protect myself from now on, but it happens to a lot of people, it doesn't take a certain type of person to decide they want to hurt the other if its all gone pear shaped, anyone can get hurt badly and want to hurt the other person back and sometimes financially can be the most painful!
26 September 2003, 10:45 AM
#66
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Well it wasn't supposed to turn into an online debate with the gf, but unfortunately it seems as though she can not understand mine or anyone elses views on the matter, especially so it seems yours mate about oh it will never happen etc.
So as she wont listen or refuses to understand it was a complete waste of time starting this threrad
I should have known better than to think a woman would ever listen or understand posts on here! Obviously we are all wrong
So as she wont listen or refuses to understand it was a complete waste of time starting this threrad
I should have known better than to think a woman would ever listen or understand posts on here! Obviously we are all wrong
26 September 2003, 12:05 PM
#73
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Sorry for butting in on this but the same thing happened to me. I moved in with bf and after 7 years we got married it only lasted 18mths. He originally bought our flat because I was blacklisted from being shafted in a previous relationship where I had the mortgage. I did not contribute towards the deposit, he paid the mortgage and I paid everything else (bills, council tax, SkyTV, and all food), this worked fine to start with then the mortgage rate went right down and I ended up paying considerably more than him when he was earning £10k more than me. Have just come out of the divorce (horrendous!!) I got a fair percentage of what I paid in back much to his disgust.
This sort of thing is always a nightmare but from my point of view I would never live anywhere without paying my way as it is always a catalyst to any arguement.
This sort of thing is always a nightmare but from my point of view I would never live anywhere without paying my way as it is always a catalyst to any arguement.
26 September 2003, 12:10 PM
#75
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Oops - hope the making up will be fun 
Having a 'chat' here is better than having a chat down the pub - there's a good few hundred listening here and I have had some very good advice based on people's true experiences in the past. You do need a good filter though
Remember you two that considering issues of property and cash has NOTHING to do with love or commitment. As I mentioned my girlfriend (who delivered me a beautiful baby girl a few days ago
) and I have a written agreement. This is to protect her as much as it is to make sure I will have solvency and a life should we ever split up and I end up a lonely hurt 40 yr old in a bedsit somewhere...
D
Having a 'chat' here is better than having a chat down the pub - there's a good few hundred listening here and I have had some very good advice based on people's true experiences in the past. You do need a good filter though
Remember you two that considering issues of property and cash has NOTHING to do with love or commitment. As I mentioned my girlfriend (who delivered me a beautiful baby girl a few days ago
) and I have a written agreement. This is to protect her as much as it is to make sure I will have solvency and a life should we ever split up and I end up a lonely hurt 40 yr old in a bedsit somewhere... D
26 September 2003, 12:19 PM
#76
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Unfortunately Diesel she doesnt agree with you at all. I have tried explaining it but its just falling on deaf ears. I posted this thread cos i thought it would help her understand where I was coming from. I even asked her if she was OK with it and she was. Now things have gone pear shaped and I'm all to blame, as usual
Thing is I am as stubborn as they come and I will not be walked all over so I am not rolling over and playing dead on this one. I could really let rip on here about whats been said but I really have to bite my lip as airing dirty washing on a public bbs isnt the done thing and think I have said too much already
Thing is I am as stubborn as they come and I will not be walked all over so I am not rolling over and playing dead on this one. I could really let rip on here about whats been said but I really have to bite my lip as airing dirty washing on a public bbs isnt the done thing and think I have said too much already
26 September 2003, 12:45 PM
#78
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Thanks mate - 'Grizzler' is screaming as we speak
There will be a balance to be struck that will give you both a sense of security and a feeling of fair play I'm sure. After all, if you cant sort it when you are friends...
D
There will be a balance to be struck that will give you both a sense of security and a feeling of fair play I'm sure. After all, if you cant sort it when you are friends...
D
26 September 2003, 12:50 PM
#79
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It still amazes me why women think this is a weird thing to do. Me and gf will be drawing such a document at some point before either of us sells our own house and moves in 'proper'
Women - tish
Women - tish
26 September 2003, 12:54 PM
#80
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Not possible, she either has it her way or not at all cos I am allegedly trying to take her for a ride. More like the other way around if you ask me - no contribution to costs but wont agree to a paper saying she has no legal right over the property. What I wasn't expecting was her reaction to this. At the moment we will be living seperately at the very least as its gone a lot more than just pear shaped 
26 September 2003, 01:02 PM
#81
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Bunch of flowers and a voucher for a beauty treatment for her then (on you of course!) Just make sure you tell her she has to sign the 'voucher' - put a bit of carbon paper and the solicitors contract underneath and its all done and dusted 
[Edited by Scooby96 - 9/26/2003 1:02:40 PM]
[Edited by Scooby96 - 9/26/2003 1:02:40 PM]
26 September 2003, 01:02 PM
#82
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b2z - maybe you need to take a bit of a breather and talk about things another day. in the heat of the moment, things get blown out of proportion. i remember an argument with my gf where i ended up saying i was going to move out right there and then. i started putting stuff in a bag and she looked at me and said "WTF are yuo doing? it's just an argument - calm down and stop being so ridiculous" so i did 
good luck in any case.
good luck in any case.
26 September 2003, 01:15 PM
#83
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LOL @ 96 She wouldn't fall for that one m8, women are far too suspicious by nature
PC yeah I agree but once one argument comes then all issues arise from the one and it starts WW3 which is now fully underway
Doesn't help being stuck in a 1 bed flat all the time as its like a cage. Need to get out for a day, although this will cause another argument cos she cant afford to go out
Well its intermission time as she is at work hence no replies on here from she who must be obeyed. Time for me to plan my advanced battle tactics
She wouldn't fall for that one m8, women are far too suspicious by nature PC yeah I agree but once one argument comes then all issues arise from the one and it starts WW3 which is now fully underway
Doesn't help being stuck in a 1 bed flat all the time as its like a cage. Need to get out for a day, although this will cause another argument cos she cant afford to go out
Well its intermission time as she is at work hence no replies on here from she who must be obeyed. Time for me to plan my advanced battle tactics
26 September 2003, 01:19 PM
#84
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leave £20 on the side for her and go have a game of golf or snooker with a few pints, come home, no doubt she'll have been out and spent the £20 and off u go, good sex when u get back lmao works for me anyways
lmao works for me anyways
26 September 2003, 01:25 PM
#85
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As someone said if you can't sort it when you're friends how will you cope if the worse comes to the worse?
When my gf moved in we had the house valued.. At that time there was 15k equity.. so if we ever had to sell the first 15k was mine the rest split 50/50.. Bills etc now we split in accordance with our income.. I earn more.. I pay more.. seems fair.
When my gf moved in we had the house valued.. At that time there was 15k equity.. so if we ever had to sell the first 15k was mine the rest split 50/50.. Bills etc now we split in accordance with our income.. I earn more.. I pay more.. seems fair.
26 September 2003, 01:27 PM
#86
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Mate, as soon as I saw you post this thread yesterday I knew it would go the way of the pear. Women will always question if you still love them etc and will ALWAYS look for ways to prove that you dont, this is just another one of those situations.
I didnt see W69's posts yesterday so cant comment on what was said, but it looks like she is using this as an opportunity to prove that you dont trust her You have two choices really, appologise, swallow the idea and carry on without anything in writing, or carry on with an argument that you will never win (in her eyes) and pretty much run the relationship into the ground, you will risk loosing out bigtime should something happen in the future.... in which case an 'I told you so' would be of very little comfort.
I am 100% sure that my better half would react in exactly the same manner, there are no two ways about it, I will have something in writing, as others have said, it would be as much for her protection as mine.
If I were you I'd get this thread deleted as things you have said will be thrown back in your face at a later date.
Paul
I didnt see W69's posts yesterday so cant comment on what was said, but it looks like she is using this as an opportunity to prove that you dont trust her
You have two choices really, appologise, swallow the idea and carry on without anything in writing, or carry on with an argument that you will never win (in her eyes) and pretty much run the relationship into the ground, you will risk loosing out bigtime should something happen in the future.... in which case an 'I told you so' would be of very little comfort.I am 100% sure that my better half would react in exactly the same manner, there are no two ways about it, I will have something in writing, as others have said, it would be as much for her protection as mine.
If I were you I'd get this thread deleted as things you have said will be thrown back in your face at a later date.
Paul
26 September 2003, 01:33 PM
#89
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POC never a truer word said mate!
The thing is with women, once you have upset them over something and they have that bee in their bonnet, thats it, it will always be brought up when things get a little tense
Looks like a tough weekend ahead, unfortunately I'm in no mood for being apologetic though due to certain things said so will bite the bullet and ride it out and see where it goes.
The thing is with women, once you have upset them over something and they have that bee in their bonnet, thats it, it will always be brought up when things get a little tense
Looks like a tough weekend ahead, unfortunately I'm in no mood for being apologetic though due to certain things said so will bite the bullet and ride it out and see where it goes.
26 September 2003, 01:35 PM
#90
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Oh and what Alpine has suggested is exactly what I am happy with except she thinks its not necessary to have it in writing. Thats where I have a problem, its not necessary now but if things got really nasty then I have no protection against financial bu66ery 