Co-habiting with girl friend - how do you work it regarding bills etc?
26 September 2003, 05:18 PM
#121
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Bravo from one of your previous posts you clearly love this girl a lot. Let it rest and see if you can come up with something over the next week - dont grind her down with it.
She clearly needs reassurances mate as she has not split the emotion&love away from the financial&logistical. Maybe no big surprises there...
If my girlfriend of the same genus & species as yours can sign a 'common sense' agreement, so can yours! You can then focus on loving each other (oops sorry I went and crossed the Atlantic there and actually BECAME Oprah for a split second).
Cuddle her, but with a biro behind your back
She clearly needs reassurances mate as she has not split the emotion&love away from the financial&logistical. Maybe no big surprises there...
If my girlfriend of the same genus & species as yours can sign a 'common sense' agreement, so can yours! You can then focus on loving each other (oops sorry I went and crossed the Atlantic there and actually BECAME Oprah for a split second).
Cuddle her, but with a biro behind your back
26 September 2003, 05:29 PM
#123
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I agree with what PTMW! put. The flat was mine before I met Rich as were all the furnishings inside it. I had no issue with him moving in after he graduated - his salary, although less than mine, certainly gave us a nice lifestyle. I changed the name on the deeds etc into his name so the flat was joint. Now we've sold the flat and got the house - both names joint from the start. I still earn more but at the end of the day, again its the two salaries combined which allows us to have nice things, run two cars and two stupid cats. If the worst comes to the worst, things will be fairly evenly split - he may not have bought the first flat, but his parents have certainly helped out since we've been together-that's his share.
has anyone got a spare room for the night just in case? 
26 September 2003, 08:42 PM
#132
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Super nice? from what we have just said to each other, hell will freeze over before you think I am not being out of order!
Back to square one. Time to end the thread I think, as POC said way of the pear is the definate route it has taken
Steve I only just got home mate so I reckon you are probably in the pub by now but if I see a black Supra I'll know who it is!
Night folks, I'm off to sink many beers. Thanks for the helpful replies.
Back to square one. Time to end the thread I think, as POC said way of the pear is the definate route it has taken
Steve I only just got home mate so I reckon you are probably in the pub by now but if I see a black Supra I'll know who it is!
Night folks, I'm off to sink many beers. Thanks for the helpful replies.
27 September 2003, 01:23 AM
#136
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Well, me and my gf have had a bit of laugh at this.
Not that I know eitehr of you, but it seems Bravo has been there done that got the T-shirt and been shafted by his ex, and now he is trying to protect the down side, that is, if you split, you don't take him to the cleaners....again!
W69, is it not obvious to you that Bravo wants to protect the equity in his property, should you split, yet get some contribution from yourself for the running of the property of which you use the facilities? Hot water, gas, electricity and phone credit doesn't grow on a tree at the bottom of the garden you know
If you want to get a share of the property, chip in a 50% share of the equity in the house, and pay half the mortgage.....if not, pay an amount per month which can be seen as rent to cover the bills and everyone is happy.
While Bravo might be 'the daddy', he certainly ain't going to give in like your dad when the toys are well and truely launched from the pram at high velocity.
Make love not war!!!
Stu
Not that I know eitehr of you, but it seems Bravo has been there done that got the T-shirt and been shafted by his ex, and now he is trying to protect the down side, that is, if you split, you don't take him to the cleaners....again!
W69, is it not obvious to you that Bravo wants to protect the equity in his property, should you split, yet get some contribution from yourself for the running of the property of which you use the facilities? Hot water, gas, electricity and phone credit doesn't grow on a tree at the bottom of the garden you know
If you want to get a share of the property, chip in a 50% share of the equity in the house, and pay half the mortgage.....if not, pay an amount per month which can be seen as rent to cover the bills and everyone is happy.
While Bravo might be 'the daddy', he certainly ain't going to give in like your dad when the toys are well and truely launched from the pram at high velocity.
Make love not war!!!
Stu
27 September 2003, 08:57 AM
#137
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Well B2Z knows my financial situation and LMFAO at me putting 50% of the equity in
If he doesn't like it, he has the power to kick me out. Simple.
Edited to add: yes i can contribute to some bills, but not all because the money just isn't there. If i gave him all my spare cash, my outgoings would be debt repayment,food and paying him. Sorry, i can't live like that for the foreseeable future. A couple of bills,yeh.
[Edited by weapon69 - 9/27/2003 9:10:39 AM]
If he doesn't like it, he has the power to kick me out. Simple.
Edited to add: yes i can contribute to some bills, but not all because the money just isn't there. If i gave him all my spare cash, my outgoings would be debt repayment,food and paying him. Sorry, i can't live like that for the foreseeable future. A couple of bills,yeh.
[Edited by weapon69 - 9/27/2003 9:10:39 AM]
27 September 2003, 09:27 AM
#140
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So are you still a student or have you graduated (or whatever they call it these days) and currently looking for work?
Can you really not see why B20 wants to protect his assets?
Do you feel that moving in with him entitles you to anything that he has built up prior to knowing you? If not then why not sign a document stating that?
Can you really not see why B20 wants to protect his assets?
Do you feel that moving in with him entitles you to anything that he has built up prior to knowing you? If not then why not sign a document stating that?
27 September 2003, 09:35 AM
#141
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I'm not a student and no i haven't graduated. Had this situation been dealt with differently, i'd have probably have signed something. Now, all i'll probably be signing on, is the council housing list 
27 September 2003, 09:36 AM
#142
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Ok he may be shouldnt have discussed it on here but thats done now.
Do you feel that moving in with him entitles you to anything that he has built up prior to knowing you? If not then why not sign a document stating that?
Do you feel that moving in with him entitles you to anything that he has built up prior to knowing you? If not then why not sign a document stating that?
27 September 2003, 09:48 AM
#143
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LOL Scooby96, i do actually know where your coming from and agree!
I agreed to this thread being posted about bills. Suddenly its turned into a war over tenancy agreements and the like.
I agreed to this thread being posted about bills. Suddenly its turned into a war over tenancy agreements and the like.
27 September 2003, 10:25 AM
#144
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w69 - the best way i can think to describe this is to equate it (rightly or wrongly!) to car insurance. you pay car insurance BUT you never expect or plan to have an accident yet you know the possibility is always there. well to B2Z this is exactly the same thing, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you etc, just that he lives in the real world and from past experience he knows he has to protect himself.
so sad that you two are letting this tear you apart but perhaps it is a sign and was meant to be?
steven - full of **** advice!
so sad that you two are letting this tear you apart but perhaps it is a sign and was meant to be?
steven - full of **** advice!
27 September 2003, 10:40 AM
#145
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W69 you sound lovely and reasonable
I think I asked some advice here too before drafting up a one page agreement with my missus - wouldnt have had a clue where to start otherwise! Go easy on him - it's obvious he's into you
D
I think I asked some advice here too before drafting up a one page agreement with my missus - wouldnt have had a clue where to start otherwise! Go easy on him - it's obvious he's into you
D
27 September 2003, 11:29 AM
#147
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Surely you 2 havent let this come between you - I mean come on theres far more to worry about that an unsigned piece of paper, which I happen to think B20 should just forge now anyway.
**** eachother senseless and then review the situation afterwards
[Edited by Scooby96 - 9/27/2003 11:31:39 AM]
**** eachother senseless and then review the situation afterwards
[Edited by Scooby96 - 9/27/2003 11:31:39 AM]
27 September 2003, 11:36 AM
#149
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Our money goes into a joint account, bills come out and whatevers left, we spend on what we want jointly!! We are a partnership and share everything equally. I can't belive that people 'contribute' towards bills etc. Personally, i'd feel either like a lodger or like I had one!!! If it ever came to the time where I had to cut down my hours and was on less pay, we would still share it equally. Just the way we do it and it works fine!!
Jus t read a bit more of this thread - not all though so sorry if this is now inappropriate BUT..... Me and Mr Dog have both been through sh*t with our ex's and know the risks but it's really not worth fallin out over. We are taking a chance on each other and it's working. Each to their own though!!
[Edited by red_dog104 - 9/27/2003 12:06:10 PM]
Jus t read a bit more of this thread - not all though so sorry if this is now inappropriate BUT..... Me and Mr Dog have both been through sh*t with our ex's and know the risks but it's really not worth fallin out over. We are taking a chance on each other and it's working. Each to their own though!!
[Edited by red_dog104 - 9/27/2003 12:06:10 PM]