Adverts that REALLY piss you off...
23 October 2003, 02:35 AM
#61
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Beat me to it JACKO. ******* Pete Lewis ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOMING around the ******* desert. AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!
Always shown on a morning during Lorraine Kelly's drivel where the couple spout on about "What if something were to happen, Ooh here's the money for Billy's school trip". Wish something would bloody happen.
That gangly crosseyed brummie in the Halifax ads. ****
Linda ******* Barker. Get Handy Andy to make her a bloody wooden box!
Does anybody ever buy those CD compilations. 10,000 hits from the 50's, buy now and we'll give you a CD player to irritate the **** out of your neighbours with them, and a free holiday, and a house. Once we've suckered you in you'll never stop us sending you sh!te you don't want ever.
Quote me happy. With their prices more like quote me into a blinding rage and throw the phone at the telly showing your ******* advert.
I quite like the penguin one for Switch/Maestro. Obviosly done by the folks at Rather Good . "Rat-a-tat-a-tat"
Always shown on a morning during Lorraine Kelly's drivel where the couple spout on about "What if something were to happen, Ooh here's the money for Billy's school trip". Wish something would bloody happen.
That gangly crosseyed brummie in the Halifax ads. ****
Linda ******* Barker. Get Handy Andy to make her a bloody wooden box!
Does anybody ever buy those CD compilations. 10,000 hits from the 50's, buy now and we'll give you a CD player to irritate the **** out of your neighbours with them, and a free holiday, and a house. Once we've suckered you in you'll never stop us sending you sh!te you don't want ever.
Quote me happy. With their prices more like quote me into a blinding rage and throw the phone at the telly showing your ******* advert.
I quite like the penguin one for Switch/Maestro. Obviosly done by the folks at Rather Good . "Rat-a-tat-a-tat"
23 October 2003, 09:26 AM
#64
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Cant remember the brand but a couple are discussing mortgages with another couple and one of the blokes says, "what you need is Interest Only Tracker Mortgage", to which his other half replies, "oh i wouldnt listen to him".
Why doesnt the bloke get up and lump the bitch - fecking annoying cow!
Why doesnt the bloke get up and lump the bitch - fecking annoying cow!
23 October 2003, 01:07 PM
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23 October 2003, 01:47 PM
#67
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Those bleeding Halifax adverts!! God I hate them. I would NEVER bank with them - they are the worst adverts on television (with the possible exception of Ocean Finance 
)
Chris
[Edited by Chris L - 10/23/2003 1:48:58 PM]
)Chris
[Edited by Chris L - 10/23/2003 1:48:58 PM]
23 October 2003, 01:57 PM
#68
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The focus ad where she writes 'NO' in the gravel really bugs me. Who the hell does she think she is driving his car around like that. And have you noticed how the camera doesn't show you the big breasted blonde that he's flying off with for a dirty weekend behind bitch-faces back??
11 88 66 really p!sses me off as well. First of all, the adverts suck. Secondly, and most importantly, they are friggin pointless. Who the hell is ever going to think 11 88 66 when wanting directory inquiries?? Most people go around mumblind 118 118 to themselves such is the strength of their ad campaign!
11 88 66 really p!sses me off as well. First of all, the adverts suck. Secondly, and most importantly, they are friggin pointless. Who the hell is ever going to think 11 88 66 when wanting directory inquiries?? Most people go around mumblind 118 118 to themselves such is the strength of their ad campaign!
23 October 2003, 01:58 PM
#69
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118 118
OK we get the fecking idea!! They may be the most memorable 118 number, but it reminds me *NOT* to use them!! [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
El Paso
If you want me to cook, stop fecking moaning!!! [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
Specsavers
Sorry love, have you seen a mirror and the state of your glasses??? [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
'Low Budget' accident, loan & finance adverts
**** me, who put the trampoline under the ugly tree when you fell out of it??? Was your face on fire and someone put it out with a shovel???
I'm so glad I have a Tivo, so I can fast forward all the adverts on programmes it records!
OK we get the fecking idea!! They may be the most memorable 118 number, but it reminds me *NOT* to use them!! [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
El Paso
If you want me to cook, stop fecking moaning!!! [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
Specsavers
Sorry love, have you seen a mirror and the state of your glasses??? [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
'Low Budget' accident, loan & finance adverts
**** me, who put the trampoline under the ugly tree when you fell out of it??? Was your face on fire and someone put it out with a shovel???
I'm so glad I have a Tivo, so I can fast forward all the adverts on programmes it records!
23 October 2003, 02:01 PM
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Oh and bloody Lesley 'Duck face' Ash and Neil whatshisface from the Homebase adverts!
And the Asda '**** patting advert', "We'll like to thank the people who gave us these savings". They aren't directly responsible for the savings, they're the poor people you pay badly in order to give us savings!!!
[Edited by Andy Tang - 10/23/2003 2:02:30 PM]
And the Asda '**** patting advert', "We'll like to thank the people who gave us these savings". They aren't directly responsible for the savings, they're the poor people you pay badly in order to give us savings!!!
[Edited by Andy Tang - 10/23/2003 2:02:30 PM]
23 October 2003, 08:09 PM
#74
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Can't believe 'Admiral' adverts haven't been mentioned yet...
Linda Barker....Number 1 Telly Pest at the mo. God help us.
And is there NEVER a sale at Dodgy Fecking Sofas?
Linda Barker....Number 1 Telly Pest at the mo. God help us.
And is there NEVER a sale at Dodgy Fecking Sofas?
24 October 2003, 01:52 PM
#78
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1. Yep the fajita kit ad. with the booted hag with the attitude.
2. Ocean finance or any money lending one (dull, dull and duller!)
3. Chelsea building society (with the gimp wearing the headset)
and past ones:
4. The car in front is a toyota (not in front of me it aint!!!)
5. The nissan almera the car they dont want you to drive ?!?!?! Probably one of the $hittiest ugliest crappiest cars on the road, why would I want to!!!!!
Gary
2. Ocean finance or any money lending one (dull, dull and duller!)
3. Chelsea building society (with the gimp wearing the headset)
and past ones:
4. The car in front is a toyota (not in front of me it aint!!!)
5. The nissan almera the car they dont want you to drive ?!?!?! Probably one of the $hittiest ugliest crappiest cars on the road, why would I want to!!!!!
Gary
24 October 2003, 02:07 PM
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What about the American guy on the previous Vectra ads?
Can't argue with the Curry's ads - I'm sick of Linda "Squwak Voice" Barker walking across my telly shaking her scissors at me.
24 October 2003, 03:00 PM
#81
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The Citroen ads with the bird in the car on her driving test...
"Please read that registration no..."
"err.. N-O V-A-T !"
"No, you dumb bint - the reg no !!!""
AAAAAAGGGHHH !!!!!! What a cr4p idea... which numpty thought of that !?!
Oh and the Nissan ones - why did they focus on that chief designer bloke when he designed probably the most boring, dull cars on the planet !?! AAAGGHH !!
The elephant insurance ads with that *** and the elephant in the background... "its quick, easy and farst" More like, "we are a bunch or cretins that haven't a clue "
AAAAGGHHH !!!!
"Please read that registration no..."
"err.. N-O V-A-T !"
"No, you dumb bint - the reg no !!!""
AAAAAAGGGHHH !!!!!! What a cr4p idea... which numpty thought of that !?!
Oh and the Nissan ones - why did they focus on that chief designer bloke when he designed probably the most boring, dull cars on the planet !?! AAAGGHH !!
The elephant insurance ads with that *** and the elephant in the background... "its quick, easy and farst" More like, "we are a bunch or cretins that haven't a clue "
AAAAGGHHH !!!!
24 October 2003, 04:00 PM
#82
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Surely the whole genre of sodding US "infomercials" for anything? Normally something like "Ab-reducer", "Fat-gone", "****-vanish" or something, with a muscle bound bronzed meathead showing some impossibly toned and gorgeous daft blond how to become even more impossibly blond and gorgeous with a paid audience thrown in, in case we were not convinced at this stage of the miracle wonders of the product in question. If anyone has had the pleasure of sitting though Dalton McReary's Straight Shootin' Golf advert will know what I mean.
Also, what about that irritating animated pair of ***** who advertise "Budget" Insurance? Surely another student from the "aromatic spices" school of annoying bints if ever there was?
Also, what about that irritating animated pair of ***** who advertise "Budget" Insurance? Surely another student from the "aromatic spices" school of annoying bints if ever there was?
24 October 2003, 09:18 PM
#84
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
that bloody arrowwmatic spppiiiiices woman has just been on!!!!!!!
knowing my luck she works for ocean finance and drivea a bloody beetle with a poxy boyfriend who makes overblown gestures!!!!!
well blow her out and do us all a favour
bring back the heineken adds at least they were funny
Mart
that bloody arrowwmatic spppiiiiices woman has just been on!!!!!!!
knowing my luck she works for ocean finance and drivea a bloody beetle with a poxy boyfriend who makes overblown gestures!!!!!
well blow her out and do us all a favour
bring back the heineken adds at least they were funny
Mart
24 October 2003, 10:31 PM
#85
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Did anyone see the "Hidden Hearing" adverts (hearing aids) which were presented by their MD?
Jeez, the guy was so wooden he made Keanu Reeves look like a talented actor. He also made Irvin Helford (the guy on the front of the Viking catalogue) look like someone you'd buy a used car off...
"Hidden Hearing, of Duke Street, Mayfair, London"
Jeez, the guy was so wooden he made Keanu Reeves look like a talented actor. He also made Irvin Helford (the guy on the front of the Viking catalogue) look like someone you'd buy a used car off...
"Hidden Hearing, of Duke Street, Mayfair, London"
24 October 2003, 11:52 PM
#86
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Clarks shoes ads... "oooo, new shoes?" No. The only time anyone bothers to look at someone else's shoes is when there's a horrific stench of freshly-trodden-in dog sh!te in the vacinity.
Photos - I think it's Kodak, with the orangutan family that take their own shots? Umm, think not. If you were lucky enough to find the camera, you'd have shots of the aforementioned ape sticking the camera up its ***.
Haemorroid sprays - "What's the matter darling, you seem uncomfortable?" the wife asks... with half a dozen witches nearby in the audience hissing "Shhhhh". "I'm sorry darling, but after last night's vindaloo, I have a veritable vineyard of bum-grapes hanging from my ****, and it's fecking uncomfortable."
Just the thing you want to think about when eating your tea.
Air fresheners - the ads always portray someone who has moved into an apartment, or new house, and the fragrance spreads the colour of the ad across the screen...
... Horse ****. The only reason people buy air fresheners is to attempt to mask the stench of the toxic dump that's just accelerated out of their *** at Mach 3, and left scorch marks up the bathroom wall. And it never works. Just smells like someone has crapped in a perfume factory.
Intel Pentium ads. Du-de-du-dee.... the true sign that some poor sap has parted with a huge amount of cash believing that the over-priced chip from Intel will speed up their internet connection, make aliens fly down and play games with them, and make more colours than in the rainbow appear on their state-of-the-art PC from PC World.
Photos - I think it's Kodak, with the orangutan family that take their own shots? Umm, think not. If you were lucky enough to find the camera, you'd have shots of the aforementioned ape sticking the camera up its ***.
Haemorroid sprays - "What's the matter darling, you seem uncomfortable?" the wife asks... with half a dozen witches nearby in the audience hissing "Shhhhh". "I'm sorry darling, but after last night's vindaloo, I have a veritable vineyard of bum-grapes hanging from my ****, and it's fecking uncomfortable."
Just the thing you want to think about when eating your tea.
Air fresheners - the ads always portray someone who has moved into an apartment, or new house, and the fragrance spreads the colour of the ad across the screen...
... Horse ****. The only reason people buy air fresheners is to attempt to mask the stench of the toxic dump that's just accelerated out of their *** at Mach 3, and left scorch marks up the bathroom wall. And it never works. Just smells like someone has crapped in a perfume factory.
Intel Pentium ads. Du-de-du-dee.... the true sign that some poor sap has parted with a huge amount of cash believing that the over-priced chip from Intel will speed up their internet connection, make aliens fly down and play games with them, and make more colours than in the rainbow appear on their state-of-the-art PC from PC World.
25 October 2003, 11:47 PM
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Ed Harris, yep he was in the abyss.. superb film..
also in The rock,,,
more bloody annoying ads..
adjustamatic beds!!!! why cant the lazy ***** just roll out????
and stanna stairlifts???? move to a bungalow with all the wad you would save..
and the marmite adds bloody afful adds and crap stuff... how anyone can eat that is beyond me.... its coagulated crude oil...
M
also in The rock,,,
more bloody annoying ads..
adjustamatic beds!!!! why cant the lazy ***** just roll out????
and stanna stairlifts???? move to a bungalow with all the wad you would save..
and the marmite adds bloody afful adds and crap stuff... how anyone can eat that is beyond me.... its coagulated crude oil...
M
26 October 2003, 12:12 AM
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those cleaning product with that ponce Karl Howman - Jacko of Brush Strokes - I wonder, do you squirt Jif (sorry Cif) up your botooooom so your lover is lemon fresh?