The Zohan

Found these as well

http://www.advicehq.co.uk/Abuse.htm#CA

http://www.rcdow.org.uk/archbishop/cplinks.htm

Scooby Snacks 23

Very, very sad to read this thread

I agree with most, and think the police are the only option. Whilst this is against what your wife and family want, if he does it to someone else, you'll never be able to live with yourself for not shopping him when you could have.

I saw the Bill last night myself and wondered about all those out there who have been victims of this sick behaviour. There must be a power complex in their minds somewhere and let's face it, a teacher can be a powerful role.

I hope something does come out of this - indeed, I hope your wife does eventually recover form the trauma.

Andy

soup dragon

Hang him from a tree by a bit of cheeswire wrapped round his bolloc*s,and spin him round til they depart his body........







Then shoot him!!

Boss Hogg

There are no easy answers that will solve your problems. Your question should be what course of action should you take that you feel that is correct. You ahve two basic choices:

1/ To go along with what your wife and her family are proposing. This protects your relationships with your wife to some extent, but you still have the issues surrounding your fustration that he's getting away with it, and is in a position of power over other children.

2/ Taking your own action - this could lead to a breakdown of trust with your wife but also will clear your conciousnce (sp) that your not letting this guy get away with it.

You are in a very difficult position.

Paulo P

iTrader: (42)

Hi

I can't say much that hasn't already been said really Forget all the kill him comments etc and contact the police. This is a very dangerous area with kids involved and your Wife more than likely isn't his only victim. I would also be very afraid because he is contact with kids all day If he has material on his PC then a friendly chat with your local station to see what *may* happen would be the best way to go, once they have got that evidence your wife may then want to come forward too.

Sorry to hear about this though

Paul

Dazza01

spk with the police m8, they are well trained now for this, your wife is probably going thru hell over it and you & the family i would think aren't far behind.

Once the police know they can put you in touch with all the people u need to spk with rgds support & councilling.

remember he's done it once and HE think's he's got away with it, he could do it again ??



[Edited by Dazza01 - 11/13/2003 12:47:37 PM]

Alpine99

Feel for you in this one...

How would your wife / you feel if someone else reports this in a couple of years time, and a load of other contemporary kids come out of the woodwork? She/ you have the power to protect children which could be being abused today and even in the future. There's a whole lot of guilt coming your way unless you do something about it..

Go to the police now..

Redkop

Also. take a look at the situ that if you do withhold doing anything. Then at a later date a prosecution is made from some other source and it comes to light that you/your wife/herfamily already 'knew' about it but did nothing to report it, the odds are, you would all face victimisation and abuse.

You have to report it, to protect you and the family as well.

NOZZER

double post
[Edited by NOZZER - 11/13/2003 1:17:05 PM]

[Edited by NOZZER - 11/13/2003 1:17:43 PM]

SiPie

Worried

So sorry to hear about the situation that you and your wife are in.

I'm afraid I can only offer some advice re the panic attacks that your wife is currently having.

I presume that the counselling she is getting is CBT (Cognitive behavioural therapy). Although this will help her I strongly suggest you buy her a book called self help for your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes or Peace from Nervous Suffering by the same author.

Should her CBT have little effect then it may be worth looking here and finding a registered hypnotherapist/psychoanalyst in your area. She will have blocked alot of stuff out and a hypnotherapist (as suggested earlier in the thread) could work in a more direct manner to help her regain her life back.

National Register of Hynotherapists

or

This explains how hypnotherapy can work in certain cases

Hope some of this may be of some help to you both.

Best wishes
Si

289

This is a very difficult one.

Many of us have inappropriate stuff stored on our PC. Not paedophile images, but sexually inappropriate ones, perhaps. I'd be disgusted with someone I came across with kiddy ****, but wouldn't turn them into the police. Don't know if this is the right approach, but it's how I feel.

However, this guy has crossed the line on two counts. Firstly he's committed numerous sexual offences (grooming, rape, indecent assault), and secondly he's a teacher. You can't make your wife talk to the police about him on account of her own experiences - it's got to be her choice.

But it's statistically unlikely that your wife is the only child he's either tried to or succeeded in assaulting, and those children currently in his care are at risk. You have a responsibility to report him, via Crimestoppers. If he's found not guilty, then so be it; at least you've made the effort and warned him off forever.

On a serious note, and if you don't want to report him, I'll do it for you if you supply the details.

NOZZER

Im sad to read this, brings up past for my family. We had a situation similar to this 9 years ago, we shopped the family member to police and socials ervices, got nasty but it is the only way forward, the family member abused still has councelling now and she will never be fully recovered, just learns to deal with it.
We also took the violent route, gave him a shoeing but i would stress that is not the way to go, sometimes emotions are harder to contain.It is good that your wife is talking about it, my best wishes go to both of you.

Scooby96

"289 - I'd be disgusted with someone I came across with kiddy ****, but wouldn't turn them into the police. Don't know if this is the right approach, but it's how I feel."

WTF - you serious about not shopping anyone with kiddy **** on their pc? FFS if someone has 2,500 indecent pictures - thats 2,500 abused kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If there wasnt a market for these pictures (ie no-one downloading them and storing them on their hard drive then there would be less abused kids!)

pbee

Ok I actually have a little bit of experience in this.

I worked as a sys admin for a largish company in london, When trotting from some router logs a found a lot of newsgroup traffic after analysing further I tracked it down to 1 users PC, I remotely caused his pc to fail and not restart so he would have to call the helpdesk and wouldnt have the chance to remove anything first.

Anyways after some investigation there were a large number of pictures and videos on his PC and the image I looked at still haunts me to this day.

The sickening thing was the management of this company wanted it hidden away, Which i didnt approve of at all, after a lot of thought I called the local police station and a plain clothed special ops person turned up bagged up the PC and left.

A few weeks later the policeman came back and explained they had raided his house very early one morning and recovered 5 pc's and lots of media. And it turns out this guy was a school teacher in new Zealand and has now been deported and is under suspiscion of messing with kids in new zealand.

I was shocked to hear this but at the same time felt very good in the fact i had shopped him in and not let him get away with anything else. the police are very proffesional in handling these incidents as I found out.

didnt ever get the pc back , but fortunatly the company didnt miss it.

Forgot to say talk to your wife, explain to her the situation as you see it with respect to the children that could be at risk, and get the police involved, the police will not even talk to your wife if you do not want, you can handle it all yourself. I dont think i could of lived with myself if i just walked away from the situation at work.

good luck

Peter

[Edited by pbee - 11/13/2003 1:28:16 PM]

289

S96

Depends on context. Suppose a friend (this really is hypothetical - I don't mean me, and I don't know of any friends onto this sort of stuff) had 'dubious' pictures on their PC - obviously 14 yo girls etc? Still illegal, but would you shop them, or would you make it plain that you thought this was completely wrong, and talk to them about it? And bear in mind that some of these pictures may well be illegal in the UK but legal elsewhere, where the age of consent is lower.

Sure, thousands of images of 5 yo's would be a no-brainer - this is obviously a sicko, and I'd shop someone like that with no compunction whatsoever.

yoza

He raped your wife when she was between the ages of 10-13, he needs to be punished for it.

You need to press for a prosecution, difficult I know, dragging up the past, but he may be doing the same to someone else.

I cant print what I would do to him, but I would have no problems sleeping after the event.

My blood has boiled reading this thread, I feel for you and your wife, but you must do something about it. Dont just leave it and hope by not speaking or acting upon what has happened, that it will ease the hurt or even make it go away. Confront your fears and give this beast the punishment he deserves.

Yoza

iDLe*

Good work Pbee - I'm a sys admin and if I found someone to have this kind of material I'd be more than a little tempted to smash their face in on the spot. I'm not a violent person and I never usually condon viloence but I cannot and will not ever be able to control my rage should I come accross such a low life!!

My advice to the original poster - get everything done legally if possible.

If not don't hesitate in making this persons life hell - don't have to batter him, just post his picture all over his local area, make an anon website with ALL his details.....really vilate his personal space as much as possible, by the sounds of it this ahole makes this kind of thing his fav past time.

F*ck him up somehow and someway.

SCUM!

worried

Guys
Many thanks for the feedback - I am having a heart to heart with the wife tonight and printing off this for her to read through. I really want for her to be strong enough to go through with the anonymous call re the PC for a start.
SiPie - thanks for all the help ref the panic attacks - I'm sure this will help her a great deal.
So many people I know/talk to online/have met, are on this thread - just wish I could thank you personally but I cant identify myself.
Cheers people - you are stars

yoza

"So many people you know".

If you know me, speak to me. Ring me now.

The Zohan

Same as Yoza, i will keep it to myself and do what i can to help.
07973 704410

There is no shame or blame in this for your wife. It happens, more than we know.

Paul

[Edited by Paul Habgood - 11/13/2003 2:19:55 PM]

Scooby96

Dont know anyone personally off here so probably not known to me but if I know you through SN for whatever reason then same as above - by email

Scooby96

I still dont know if I saw my ex's abuser whether I would still want to kick his ******* head in - having read this its stirred up a few thoughts I used to have at the time about 'uncle peter' so yep if I saw him right here right now then who knows....

However if I was still with my ex then it would be guaranteed that I would do something.

Consider that this will be with all concerned for the rest of your lives - thats a fecking long time so it does need addressing for future 'peace of mind' or whatever degree of peace you could ever get to on this issue.

Violence although probably satisfying at the time would not have the same affect on his future offending than prison etc etc - unless of course you were to take a very rusty shovel to his groin!

Edited to say:

IMHO compulsory chemical castration is the answer and if that fails then surgical castration

[Edited by Scooby96 - 11/13/2003 2:31:42 PM]

Bajie

Unfortunately, no amount of physical damage you inflict on these people can pay for the innocence they have stolen.

scooby nutter

So sorry to hear about this.

if your wife wont go to police then post his details on here

http://www.redwatch.org.uk/noncewatch/index.html

SiDHEaD

I wish i'd shopped this person i found before.

I was messing about on Netbus (remember that anyone!) a few years ago, and i was doing scans. Connected to some1s machine and what was on there was just so sick. Obvious paedo. I replaced their autoexec.bat with a script to format their hdd.

Thinking about it since tho, i really wish I had contacted someone. Yes he'd lost everything on his pc - but would most likely know where to get it from again - not to mention what might have been going on in real life!!

There really is no question, he's gotta be shopped. Your wife MIGHT feel differently about reporting for the abuse etc once things (regarding pics) have proceeded, and even if she doesn't - he wont be able to work with kids!

Andy

Wish

iTrader: (2)

Im not meaning this to should harsh or anything, but i feel its you duty to inform the police of this man. It might wreck your marrige but to be honest this man has open access to lots of children the same age as your wife was when it first begun.

You have to stop him...................


I hope you will be able to sort things out with your wife, but she needs to stop this happening to other people that he comes in to contact with.


It might even be closure for her too !

But please, please do something. He might be teaching my child.

EvilBevel

Much good advice already given, so I can only say I hope you can sort it out. Maybe actually having posted this here can somehow unlock the situation for both of you. Good luck with it, and don't forget (I doubt you would) you are going to need each other very much in the coming time.

Markus

I would strongly advise going to the police, this person needs to be brought to justice and punished for thier actions, it's as simple as that. He is a teacher and has access to other children and this cannot be tollerated. When/if you report this to the police please mention that is a teacher and where he works, as he should be suspended immedialty pending investigations.

Posting on 5ive-o is a very good idea too, there are many coppers on there and they would, I expect, tell you exactly how this would be handled, and probably could put you in touch with the correct person at the local station.

Don't go and sort the git out, much as I would love to condone a lynching party, as who does not want to give a peadophile a good kicking, it won't solve anything, well, not unless you remove him from the gene pool. Plus it could prejudice any action you may wish to take in the future.

Good luck with whatever you two decide to do about this.

[Edited by Markus - 11/13/2003 4:37:55 PM]

worried

Again thank you all:

This is from my wife -

I just wish i knew what to do!

My family are all waiting on my descision and i feel i have the
following options

1: go the whole hog and tell the police about me (i'm soo vague on
details times and places though to give them a proper statement) and
also to get him if he has got child **** on his computer, plus hes got
loads of piccies of me (some dodgy ones)

2: get the family to give the police a tip off about the child **** and
piccies, this way i dont even have to be involved and something does get
done

3: the family confront him as a whole and ostracise him (this doesn't
help any other child that are outside the family though, if any ahave
been through this or are at risk)

4: i confront him with the rest of the family backing me, i dont know
if i would be able to stop myself from going mad though and smacking him
one

I myself feel guilty towards him because i can't stand the thought of
him losing everything or doing something stupid (this guilt ive found
out recently is all part of the grooming process) but then feeling that
i feel guilty for not doing anything because of other children that may
be at risk and hes still working as a teacher.

I also worry about my grandparents coz whatever i decide is going to
devastate them (i know they are not the most important issue here, but
they are an old couple and hes their SON!)

Finally I want to know what the police process is.

Paulo P

iTrader: (42)

sounds like hopefully you are getting somewhere