Should I press Charges?!????!?!?!
01 December 2003, 08:16 PM
#31
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Only gave him christmas present cos he needed it...cos he is going to Iraq....otherwise i wouldn;t have done.
I have made an appointment with solicitors...and will decide from there....from teh response...if she thinks i really ought to press charges then i will....
...don;t know if its teh right thing to do...but like it was said earlier...i can always drop charges before it gets to court if it gets bad.....
....a lot of valid points said....all taken on board!
Thanks to all.
I have made an appointment with solicitors...and will decide from there....from teh response...if she thinks i really ought to press charges then i will....
...don;t know if its teh right thing to do...but like it was said earlier...i can always drop charges before it gets to court if it gets bad.....
....a lot of valid points said....all taken on board!
Thanks to all.
01 December 2003, 08:24 PM
#32
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damage limitation is all i'm saying, you should even it out with what good could come out of the situation and what are the potential consequences from this. IMHO i think you should nail the f****t.
01 December 2003, 08:37 PM
#33
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Sorry, I appreciate it's a difficult decision, but I don't care who is he is, or why he did it, it's completely unacceptable, and has to be reported.
If he's big and brave enough to belt a woman, he's big and brave enough to take his punishment.
Josh
If he's big and brave enough to belt a woman, he's big and brave enough to take his punishment.
Josh
01 December 2003, 09:15 PM
#34
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100% report him.
Don't worry about damage to his career. If he is this much of a scumbag to knock out his sister and then boast about it, then its only a matter of time before he is thrown out of the RAF for some other incident. The RAF don't want nutters like that in the service.
Can't think of any mitigating factor at all. He hasn't apologised properly, he said you deserved it!
Sorry to be harsh but if you don't report him he will definately do it again and then that will be partially your fault. Report him NOW, before the bruising etc fades.
Don't worry about damage to his career. If he is this much of a scumbag to knock out his sister and then boast about it, then its only a matter of time before he is thrown out of the RAF for some other incident. The RAF don't want nutters like that in the service.
Can't think of any mitigating factor at all. He hasn't apologised properly, he said you deserved it!
Sorry to be harsh but if you don't report him he will definately do it again and then that will be partially your fault. Report him NOW, before the bruising etc fades.
01 December 2003, 09:57 PM
#35
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Another option
have pictures taken, swear a deposition with a noteoriaty?? or solicitor,
then let him know what you have done, state on the next occurance the statement & pictures will be released to the police and his commanding officer...
i have had spats with my sisters, when i was younger they used to hit fist, but i hit back,,, im not a punch bag for anybody....
nowdays we just get verbal !!!
the joys of family life
M
have pictures taken, swear a deposition with a noteoriaty?? or solicitor,
then let him know what you have done, state on the next occurance the statement & pictures will be released to the police and his commanding officer...
i have had spats with my sisters, when i was younger they used to hit fist, but i hit back,,, im not a punch bag for anybody....
nowdays we just get verbal !!!
the joys of family life
M
01 December 2003, 10:14 PM
#36
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[pquote]...i know him...he didn't mean it...specially as a couple of hours afterwards he was bragging to his friends about it..although he didn;t tell them exactly what happened..(i heard it...i was in the next room..and i still have one good ear! [/quote]
this has got to be awind up, surely??
Kilroy might be interested..
BB
this has got to be awind up, surely??
Kilroy might be interested..
BB
01 December 2003, 10:20 PM
#38
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Just report him - maybe the shame that comes with the conviction with change him. There is nothing to stop him doing this to someone else - you would be doing him and future female freinds a favour by reporting him - what a scumbag.
01 December 2003, 10:42 PM
#39
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Brother or not - you have to report him. As mentioned before - it could be any female he could hit if his g/f has that much power over him so that he hits a female to stick up for her.
It's obvious he doesn't feel true remorse!
It's obvious he doesn't feel true remorse!
01 December 2003, 11:03 PM
#40
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He is threatening to press charges against me...for what i have no idea...so it looks like i may not have to be the first one to start it....
....he has just been informed by my father that i am not just going to let it drop and he has goen crazy screamign and shouting down the phone and threats to him....
...hes not doing himself any favours....
....and if i press charges against my brother...
..i will also being pressing them against his girlfrield for aiding and abetting a criminal offence...which will also get her disqualified from practicing law...
....he has just been informed by my father that i am not just going to let it drop and he has goen crazy screamign and shouting down the phone and threats to him....
...hes not doing himself any favours....
....and if i press charges against my brother...
..i will also being pressing them against his girlfrield for aiding and abetting a criminal offence...which will also get her disqualified from practicing law...
He doesnt sound very regretful from what you have posted.
01 December 2003, 11:20 PM
#42
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I agree with Carlos.
Sounds like you have given him a chance and he sounds like he is trying to bully you and your father into not reporting it by being angry. IMO he has anger and/or violence issues and needs help for them.
With problems like that he shouldnt be given a gun again IMO.
S
Sounds like you have given him a chance and he sounds like he is trying to bully you and your father into not reporting it by being angry. IMO he has anger and/or violence issues and needs help for them.
With problems like that he shouldnt be given a gun again IMO.
S
01 December 2003, 11:30 PM
#43
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from what i have read i just cannot understand why you havent already pressed charges
1. he hit you hard enough to knock you out and give you internal bleeding
2. he BRAGGED about it
3. he persists in threatening you even when he is the one who knocked a family member uncocnscious
If i was in your shoes i wouldnt hesitate. if not for yourself think of his girlfriend (even if she is a cow) or even his future girlfriends. would he do the same again in similar circumstances? im guessing he would. the fact he hasnt apologised says it all. he sounds like someone that shouldnt be in your life to me and the fact youre not pressing charges because of his career is pathetic. did he think of your career/ life when he knocked the living sh*ite out of you? no.... hes a bully and a coward.
whatever you decide to do do it for the right reasons.. for yourself
1. he hit you hard enough to knock you out and give you internal bleeding
2. he BRAGGED about it
3. he persists in threatening you even when he is the one who knocked a family member uncocnscious
If i was in your shoes i wouldnt hesitate. if not for yourself think of his girlfriend (even if she is a cow) or even his future girlfriends. would he do the same again in similar circumstances? im guessing he would. the fact he hasnt apologised says it all. he sounds like someone that shouldnt be in your life to me and the fact youre not pressing charges because of his career is pathetic. did he think of your career/ life when he knocked the living sh*ite out of you? no.... hes a bully and a coward.
whatever you decide to do do it for the right reasons.. for yourself
01 December 2003, 11:31 PM
#44
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pennylane, your brother clearly needs help. It sounds very american but he needs to go to anger management therapy. If he could hit you, his own sister, that hard what could he do to someone else if he gets wound up ?
To report him or not, very difficult. Ask your solicitor if there is any way he can be forced to seek help rather than be sent down for something like this.
To report him or not, very difficult. Ask your solicitor if there is any way he can be forced to seek help rather than be sent down for something like this.
02 December 2003, 12:39 AM
#45
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Penny,
Listen to someone who deals with this sort of thing every day (er that's me!!) if he hit you 3 times enough to cause those type of injuries, which can cause disability or disfigurement, you will be getting him done for Section 18 Assault, i.e he had intent to hurt you when he did it. DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT make a complaint if you are going to drop it later. You will lose all credibility as an a/p (aggreived person) and the chance for justice.
DO NOT have photo's taken if you intend to hold them over him like a threat, again, credibility is weakened. DO NOT be influenced by solicitors, remember they get paid to do this day in day out. Just cus he's family does not make it ok.
Go to the police immediately and make a statement. Have the injuries photographed (if you can't, speak to the officer you deal with, scenes of crime will take them). Make a complete statement, if you called him a c*** put it in, god knows he'll bring it up!
But most of all, GO THROUGH WITH IT, I am sick of going to houses with women (and men) holding their faces saying 'it's ok, he didn't mean it, we'll laugh tomorrow!'.
We have departments specifically for domestic violence who deal with these jobs all the time and help you through the whole process, we don't just take a statement and leave waving as we go you know?
As for his girlfriend, i personally think it may be a non starter, it will be two statements against one in court and might cloud you're own more important grievance with him, she'll come again by the sounds of it.
Maybe next time he won't stop at 3 times?
Listen to someone who deals with this sort of thing every day (er that's me!!) if he hit you 3 times enough to cause those type of injuries, which can cause disability or disfigurement, you will be getting him done for Section 18 Assault, i.e he had intent to hurt you when he did it. DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT make a complaint if you are going to drop it later. You will lose all credibility as an a/p (aggreived person) and the chance for justice.
DO NOT have photo's taken if you intend to hold them over him like a threat, again, credibility is weakened. DO NOT be influenced by solicitors, remember they get paid to do this day in day out. Just cus he's family does not make it ok.
Go to the police immediately and make a statement. Have the injuries photographed (if you can't, speak to the officer you deal with, scenes of crime will take them). Make a complete statement, if you called him a c*** put it in, god knows he'll bring it up!
But most of all, GO THROUGH WITH IT, I am sick of going to houses with women (and men) holding their faces saying 'it's ok, he didn't mean it, we'll laugh tomorrow!'.
We have departments specifically for domestic violence who deal with these jobs all the time and help you through the whole process, we don't just take a statement and leave waving as we go you know?
As for his girlfriend, i personally think it may be a non starter, it will be two statements against one in court and might cloud you're own more important grievance with him, she'll come again by the sounds of it.
Maybe next time he won't stop at 3 times?
02 December 2003, 08:11 AM
#47
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Sorry penny you have to report this...
Being ex forces myself it makes abosolutley no difference to him in reality. He knows as soon as he lifts his fists he would be in trouble. If you let him get away with it - next time could be your last - it only takes a split second...and the discion is only yours to make.
He sounds like a bully to me thats lost control of himself, disipline at work i can guarentee he has - outside the RAF he is showing he has no thought for anyone except himself.
I think the only to wake him up which is needed here is to report him to the police or like i have seen before and which will hurt him more...speak to His CO...the CO would carpet him so badly he wouldnt dare do anything again and it works..
The descision at in the end is yours...do nothing and expect it to carry on or do something and take charge of the situation and not be victim...
Being ex forces myself it makes abosolutley no difference to him in reality. He knows as soon as he lifts his fists he would be in trouble. If you let him get away with it - next time could be your last - it only takes a split second...and the discion is only yours to make.
He sounds like a bully to me thats lost control of himself, disipline at work i can guarentee he has - outside the RAF he is showing he has no thought for anyone except himself.
I think the only to wake him up which is needed here is to report him to the police or like i have seen before and which will hurt him more...speak to His CO...the CO would carpet him so badly he wouldnt dare do anything again and it works..
The descision at in the end is yours...do nothing and expect it to carry on or do something and take charge of the situation and not be victim...
02 December 2003, 04:48 PM
#48
After reading the latest and thinking more about it, i have changed my opinion.
It sounds like Chris29 knows what he is talking about, report him, he shows no remorse and worse still is now threatening you.
Men like that are scum.
It sounds like Chris29 knows what he is talking about, report him, he shows no remorse and worse still is now threatening you.
Men like that are scum.
02 December 2003, 05:08 PM
#50
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I agree with Kane on this one tell his CO, his feet won't touch the ground once the RP's get hold of him in the guardroom, it has to be a far scarier place than any police cell, Provo Sergents are not to be messed with!! I should now I came into contact with mine once or twice.
[Edited by Wurzel - 12/2/2003 5:09:18 PM]
[Edited by Wurzel - 12/2/2003 5:09:18 PM]
02 December 2003, 05:30 PM
#52
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Penny, really sorry to read this post .............
I hope you gather the strength to go forward and do the right thing, which deep down i think you know what you have to do.
Two wrongs dont make a right, but if you would like to teach him how to respect people again, i have close friends that give very good lessons ....... if you know what i mean.
Good luck with what ever you decide
I hope you gather the strength to go forward and do the right thing, which deep down i think you know what you have to do.
Two wrongs dont make a right, but if you would like to teach him how to respect people again, i have close friends that give very good lessons ....... if you know what i mean.
Good luck with what ever you decide
02 December 2003, 05:51 PM
#53
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Just read this and find it disgusting. You really should go to the police. If it had been any other man apart from your brother then you wouldn't be deciding weather or not to report him. I don't think being family gives you the right to knock a woman out just because you are upset with them. I think it makes it all the worse being hit by your brother than a stranger.
Wish you all the best
Jazz
Wish you all the best
Jazz
02 December 2003, 06:06 PM
#54
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For what it's worth My Wife was beaten by her brother for years.... it started just like you say here and ended in hospitalisation for her when the head finally broke before the Pyrex Dish.....
Don't **** about with emotion. It needs nipping in the bud now. My Wife is now 36 years old and only this weekend commented to her mother that she has no fond memories at all of her Brother.
It never leaves you if you don't close it.
All the best
listy
02 December 2003, 06:48 PM
#55
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i will be taking picture of injuries in the next couple of days...i will post them
As for your brother. Report him. If you dont then he'll know its OK to do it again , which he most probably will.
Chip.
02 December 2003, 07:58 PM
#56
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Can only take pictures when we have a camera!!! we were burgled at at teh beginning of teh year and the camera was taken..insurance people are crap and slow! still waiting for a load of things!....
...and the bruising to my face has not come out yet...it is still deep and doctor said it would take a while for it to come to the surface...
...as for swelling....although there was some..it wasn't that noticable.
....and an update....he is planning to deny everything anyway...and is getting his girlfriend to support him...
...he is saying that i inflicted myself with teh onjuries while i was at my aunts house....
...he stupid...and i will press charges against him for ABH/GBH...and his g/f for aiding and abetting...
...and if i don't i will defintely talk to his CO as you call it?!?!?! i dunno who that is but i bet i coudl find out!....
...will call my dad in a bit later as he is wiht michael at the moment and i dont; want Mike to know i am going to take it any further than he alrady knows until he gets serves with papers...
...my father has said exactly teh same thing...that if it was a stranger then there woudl be no other thought except to press charges....and has said that whatever i choose he will support me.
..so see how it goes.
...and the bruising to my face has not come out yet...it is still deep and doctor said it would take a while for it to come to the surface...
...as for swelling....although there was some..it wasn't that noticable.
....and an update....he is planning to deny everything anyway...and is getting his girlfriend to support him...
...he is saying that i inflicted myself with teh onjuries while i was at my aunts house....
...he stupid...and i will press charges against him for ABH/GBH...and his g/f for aiding and abetting...
...and if i don't i will defintely talk to his CO as you call it?!?!?! i dunno who that is but i bet i coudl find out!....
...will call my dad in a bit later as he is wiht michael at the moment and i dont; want Mike to know i am going to take it any further than he alrady knows until he gets serves with papers...
...my father has said exactly teh same thing...that if it was a stranger then there woudl be no other thought except to press charges....and has said that whatever i choose he will support me.
..so see how it goes.
03 December 2003, 05:37 PM
#58
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Can only take pictures when we have a camera!!! we were burgled at at teh beginning of teh year and the camera was taken..
Chip.
[Edited by Chip - 12/3/2003 5:37:54 PM]
03 December 2003, 06:39 PM
#59
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just read this thread, your brother sounds like a bit of a **** (he's RAF so that figures 
)
CO = Commanding Officer
not to sure who/what rank it is the RAF but in the Army mine is a Lieutenant Colonel, basically he/she's the main man/woman of the unit your brother's with - he has a lot of power and can seriuosly ruin your brothers day.
HTH
chris
)
and if i don't i will defintely talk to his CO as you call it?!?!?! i dunno who that is but i bet i could find out!....
not to sure who/what rank it is the RAF but in the Army mine is a Lieutenant Colonel, basically he/she's the main man/woman of the unit your brother's with - he has a lot of power and can seriuosly ruin your brothers day.
HTH
chris
