One of the worst days of my life...
04 December 2003, 04:16 PM
#65
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I hated all that flowers for her crap and everyone phoning to say, "dont know what to say...." - well why feckin phone in the first place!!!
I think only one person asked how I felt (excluding the other half of course) and after I'd told them (fighting away a flood of tears)I felt alot better.
Dont bicker about this you 2 - time to stick together, be strong and move along but only when you're ready to.
Theres no shame in crying - dont play the hardman on this one!
I think only one person asked how I felt (excluding the other half of course) and after I'd told them (fighting away a flood of tears)I felt alot better.
Dont bicker about this you 2 - time to stick together, be strong and move along but only when you're ready to.
Theres no shame in crying - dont play the hardman on this one!
04 December 2003, 04:19 PM
#66
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Alot of people have phoned me/texted me/emailed me etc but i can't face replying at the moment,glad i told them though-i need the support or at least knowing that people are glad to chat to me when i need to.
04 December 2003, 05:28 PM
#67
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B2Z
As I posted before I've stood in your shoes mate.
I can't remember all the emotions I went through guilt, anger, shame, hurt, rage, everything. Of course everyone is sorry and loads of sympathy comes your way, most of it to the woman naturally and sometimes you don't feel like taking the sympathy anymore. I also went through a phase of analysing everyday just thinking if we could have done anything differently even when all the Doctors said it wouldn't have made any difference. Suppose it's all part of the healing process, I'm not an expert just been there.
The only thing you need to draw on is each other I just think its better if you can think "Why Us" instead of "Why Me".
I hope you never end up in our situation but I think I accepted the no kids thing better than Lorraine. I would say it took me 3 or 4 years and Lorraine 6 or 7 but we still hit the pain barrier sometimes. Our relatives are very good and we have a lot to do with our nephews and nieces, we are able to spoil them a bit. They love coming round as I have all the toys, 46"TV, home cinema, PS2, petrol RC cars etc (Just an excuse to have them myself). It's my 3 year old nephews nativity on the 9th so I'm having the day off work, he's over the moon that I'm going so I'm happy.
Suppose what I'm trying to say is don't worry about any of the feelings you have now just try and support each other and you'll get through it and there will be happier times ahead.
Lee
As I posted before I've stood in your shoes mate.
I can't remember all the emotions I went through guilt, anger, shame, hurt, rage, everything. Of course everyone is sorry and loads of sympathy comes your way, most of it to the woman naturally and sometimes you don't feel like taking the sympathy anymore. I also went through a phase of analysing everyday just thinking if we could have done anything differently even when all the Doctors said it wouldn't have made any difference. Suppose it's all part of the healing process, I'm not an expert just been there.
The only thing you need to draw on is each other I just think its better if you can think "Why Us" instead of "Why Me".
I hope you never end up in our situation but I think I accepted the no kids thing better than Lorraine. I would say it took me 3 or 4 years and Lorraine 6 or 7 but we still hit the pain barrier sometimes. Our relatives are very good and we have a lot to do with our nephews and nieces, we are able to spoil them a bit. They love coming round as I have all the toys, 46"TV, home cinema, PS2, petrol RC cars etc (Just an excuse to have them myself). It's my 3 year old nephews nativity on the 9th so I'm having the day off work, he's over the moon that I'm going so I'm happy.
Suppose what I'm trying to say is don't worry about any of the feelings you have now just try and support each other and you'll get through it and there will be happier times ahead.
Lee
04 December 2003, 05:34 PM
#68
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I wish i had some nephews/nieces, somebody i can make a fuss of! But no brothers/sisters so bit difficult
B2Z will come home one day and they'll be a puppy if hes not careful lol
[Edited by weapon69 - 12/4/2003 5:38:15 PM]
B2Z will come home one day and they'll be a puppy if hes not careful lol
[Edited by weapon69 - 12/4/2003 5:38:15 PM]
04 December 2003, 05:44 PM
#69
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W69,
I don't have any brothers or sister but luckily Lorraine has a big family.
Don't start on the puppy thing, I've been wanting one for ages.
Lorraine would get left with looking after it though as she's at home most days and I work long hours, so she has the final say.
Lee
I don't have any brothers or sister but luckily Lorraine has a big family.
Don't start on the puppy thing, I've been wanting one for ages.
Lorraine would get left with looking after it though as she's at home most days and I work long hours, so she has the final say.
Lee
04 December 2003, 08:52 PM
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Sorry to hear this news - just got in...
try to remember there is always tomorrow - things can get better. I was talking to my accounts guy at work and he told me that his wife miscarried 4 times before they had their son. they thought they wouldn't be able to but it turned out fine in the end. he's 17 now (the son), a lovely lad - comes into the office and sings sometimes. I never knew that until last week - it's amazing what people carry around under the surface. be strong for each other and strong for yourselves.
try to remember there is always tomorrow - things can get better. I was talking to my accounts guy at work and he told me that his wife miscarried 4 times before they had their son. they thought they wouldn't be able to but it turned out fine in the end. he's 17 now (the son), a lovely lad - comes into the office and sings sometimes. I never knew that until last week - it's amazing what people carry around under the surface. be strong for each other and strong for yourselves.
05 December 2003, 10:20 AM
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Cheers Lee
Well just got back and basically they have no idea and have got to have another scan in 2 weeks. The baby is still there but so small that its seems they messed up its age and that its still too young to detect the heart beat. So at the moment W69 is still pregnant but there is no way of telling whether its alive or not 
In two weeks it should have a heart beat if its ok and the scan will then say for sure either way.
So now its 2 weeks of much and hoping lots and never believing a word GP's ever say! Don't know whetehr to be positive and then take the risk of huge let down again or thinking the worst and then having great news. Both of us are all over the place now with our thoughts and as to why a DR can tell us its definately a miscarriage and put us through it for 3 days for the hospital to then say who knows and come back in two weeks is just incredible really!
Well just got back and basically they have no idea and have got to have another scan in 2 weeks. The baby is still there
but so small that its seems they messed up its age and that its still too young to detect the heart beat. So at the moment W69 is still pregnant but there is no way of telling whether its alive or not In two weeks it should have a heart beat if its ok and the scan will then say for sure either way.So now its 2 weeks of much
and hoping lots and never believing a word GP's ever say! Don't know whetehr to be positive and then take the risk of huge let down again or thinking the worst and then having great news. Both of us are all over the place now with our thoughts and as to why a DR can tell us its definately a miscarriage and put us through it for 3 days for the hospital to then say who knows and come back in two weeks is just incredible really!
05 December 2003, 08:34 PM
#80
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Sorry to hear your news, my sister in law went through this last year, its horrific, I cant imagine how the pair of you are feeling right now.
I feel a right tw@t now saying the birth of my kids were the best days of my life, but they were and i didnt know then what I know now.
I feel a right tw@t now saying the birth of my kids were the best days of my life, but they were and i didnt know then what I know now.
05 December 2003, 08:48 PM
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Funkii mate no worries on that, W69 knows the best day of my life was the birth of my eldest son and will be added to with further kids and generally its the case with most people who have kids. Ask the question which was asked and obviously you are going to get such replies
09 December 2003, 11:24 PM
#82
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Well today was pretty eventful! 
Unfortunately I did have a m/c but i'm all sorted out now
So normal life resumes tomorrow, thanks for all the nice replies.
Sooz
Unfortunately I did have a m/c but i'm all sorted out now
So normal life resumes tomorrow, thanks for all the nice replies.
Sooz
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