Women
12 December 2003, 05:41 PM
#31
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From Ladder Theory 
"Criticism: You're just bitter.
Answer: Maybe I am. But ladder theory made me that way, my bitterness did
not make ladder theory. Attack the theory, not the person behind it. And why
does everyone always say I'm bitter just because 99.999% of chicks are
bitches?"
Case in point being the comment posted above by Neverguess - look at the way the comment is written to make men look small.
Ugh, smug women.
[Edited by Butkus - 12/12/2003 5:43:52 PM]
[Edited by Butkus - 12/12/2003 5:48:27 PM]
"Criticism: You're just bitter.
Answer: Maybe I am. But ladder theory made me that way, my bitterness did
not make ladder theory. Attack the theory, not the person behind it. And why
does everyone always say I'm bitter just because 99.999% of chicks are
bitches?"
Case in point being the comment posted above by Neverguess - look at the way the comment is written to make men look small.
Ugh, smug women.
[Edited by Butkus - 12/12/2003 5:43:52 PM]
[Edited by Butkus - 12/12/2003 5:48:27 PM]
12 December 2003, 08:39 PM
#35
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For guys unacquainted with Ladder Theory, it is even worse. The cuddle bitch often thinks he is on the good ladder as opposed to the real ladder. So he gets all excited about his position instead of realizing he is being completely used. So this poor tool is really setting himself up for a fall at that point
12 December 2003, 10:40 PM
#38
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Definite Brush off.
I would get her drunk in a nice friendly environment (Pizza and plenty of wine and a weepy DVD) and get all snuggled up. Make sure she is fairly tipsy, and make a gentle but forceful move, potentially saying something a little dirty to enforce what a bad boy you are (she didn't know that). If she doesn't recoil in horror, then persist. If she does recoil in horror, apologise, blame the booze and forget the whole thing.
If she doesn't then you need to make a moral call on whether you want to take advantage of her while drunk (almost definitely likely to end in tears and huge rows and you being an *******....which would probably be true) or to get 'so far' with her (usually a nice state of arousal) and then play the "what are we doing, you're my best friend" routine.
This will usually illicit an "OH please!" type response from her, and she will frequently jump on you. This means you put the ball in her court, and she made the (albeit drunken) decision to proceed.
Chances are this whole endevour will fail and leave you feeling miserable, but it is the acid test: If there was chemistry there, it can sometimes be revived by stressing the latent "physical" nature of your relationship with her.
Chances are, though, even if you succeed you will be brushed off at the next opportunity, and your friendship will fail, though it MAY work out that you sustain a long and happy relationship.
Trouble is, most relationships start out based on a couples fictional ideas about each other. If people knew what other people were really like, they wou;dn't touch them with a barge pole.
How Cyncical do I look now?
The ladder theory fails to account for something, though. Compatibility. This could possibly be "true love", or "loyalty" but after a certain period of time, both people in a relationship will decide they have invested so much in it that they naturally creep up each others ladders. It is sometimes also referreed to as "kids". It's an ethical operand to the normal theorem, but one I feel cannot be dismissed, certainly among 50% of people.
I would get her drunk in a nice friendly environment (Pizza and plenty of wine and a weepy DVD) and get all snuggled up. Make sure she is fairly tipsy, and make a gentle but forceful move, potentially saying something a little dirty to enforce what a bad boy you are (she didn't know that). If she doesn't recoil in horror, then persist. If she does recoil in horror, apologise, blame the booze and forget the whole thing.
If she doesn't then you need to make a moral call on whether you want to take advantage of her while drunk (almost definitely likely to end in tears and huge rows and you being an *******....which would probably be true) or to get 'so far' with her (usually a nice state of arousal) and then play the "what are we doing, you're my best friend" routine.
This will usually illicit an "OH please!" type response from her, and she will frequently jump on you. This means you put the ball in her court, and she made the (albeit drunken) decision to proceed.
Chances are this whole endevour will fail and leave you feeling miserable, but it is the acid test: If there was chemistry there, it can sometimes be revived by stressing the latent "physical" nature of your relationship with her.
Chances are, though, even if you succeed you will be brushed off at the next opportunity, and your friendship will fail, though it MAY work out that you sustain a long and happy relationship.
Trouble is, most relationships start out based on a couples fictional ideas about each other. If people knew what other people were really like, they wou;dn't touch them with a barge pole.
How Cyncical do I look now?
The ladder theory fails to account for something, though. Compatibility. This could possibly be "true love", or "loyalty" but after a certain period of time, both people in a relationship will decide they have invested so much in it that they naturally creep up each others ladders. It is sometimes also referreed to as "kids". It's an ethical operand to the normal theorem, but one I feel cannot be dismissed, certainly among 50% of people.
12 December 2003, 10:56 PM
#40
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Man, you have the patience of a saint
1.5 years!!!! wtf?
1.5 hours is 1 hour too long.
Take the advice from the women, it's a brush off.
13 December 2003, 12:23 AM
#43
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Dude face it. She'll sleep with anyone but you. The least you can do is either ignore her from now on or introduce her to your fellow scoobynetters. She's what you would call a "**** teaser".
13 December 2003, 09:21 AM
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Turbo Steve: That I guess would be my last resort, if I havnt already scared her off. A good run down of that situation and the various possibilities there m8, cheers. Sounds like u been there yourself.
I went out last night, an was chattin to a girl I reciently met n she was buyin me drinks, cuddling me, but now am aware of cuddle bitch, I am gettin paranoid that any affection shown by the opposite sex is just CUDDLE BITCHIN ?
I went out last night, an was chattin to a girl I reciently met n she was buyin me drinks, cuddling me, but now am aware of cuddle bitch, I am gettin paranoid that any affection shown by the opposite sex is just CUDDLE BITCHIN ?
13 December 2003, 10:54 AM
#45
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Generally most peeps seem to thinks its game over n i should move on eh...U may be right but hopefully this case will be the exception to the rule. I will post any developments.
or 
or
15 December 2003, 12:49 AM
#46
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Perhaps you should consider ensuring you make one sexual / flirtatious / ungentlemently comment every hour. Just to remind these ladies who think you are lovely that perhaps your intentions are not 100% benign.
If you mention in some subtle(ish) way how much you'd like to bed them once every time you see them, they will either laugh it off or encourage you to continue.
To my mind, the ladder theory works very well at a "Lust" level, but really doesn't cover the whole complex gamut of what most women with an IQ over 100 are looking for in a relationship.
My experience has been that as long as you make yourself patently clear from the word go, you wil either get brushed off immediately, be chosen as worth bedding there and then (which means lust but less potential long term) or will be entertained between the friends / maybe lover category.
I find it pays to be as upfront and honest and just be yourself as much as possible. Most women worth having a relationship with will either try and take advantage of you straight away, or appreciate your honesty and simply be honest back.
If you mention in some subtle(ish) way how much you'd like to bed them once every time you see them, they will either laugh it off or encourage you to continue.
To my mind, the ladder theory works very well at a "Lust" level, but really doesn't cover the whole complex gamut of what most women with an IQ over 100 are looking for in a relationship.
My experience has been that as long as you make yourself patently clear from the word go, you wil either get brushed off immediately, be chosen as worth bedding there and then (which means lust but less potential long term) or will be entertained between the friends / maybe lover category.
I find it pays to be as upfront and honest and just be yourself as much as possible. Most women worth having a relationship with will either try and take advantage of you straight away, or appreciate your honesty and simply be honest back.
15 December 2003, 01:01 AM
#47
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Hey steve guess what? I can't seem to sleep tonight. I think I might have overslept. 
edit: You and mice are my witness btw. According to Katannette, I snore but I dont do I?
[Edited by Katana - 12/15/2003 1:02:44 AM]
edit: You and mice are my witness btw. According to Katannette, I snore but I dont do I?
[Edited by Katana - 12/15/2003 1:02:44 AM]
15 December 2003, 10:11 AM
#49
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TurboSteve...again makin sence, will have to try the flirt/sex comment per hour thing, n see what happenns?
thanks for all your comments, feel free to add some more they really are very usefull, I will post any developments...Cheers
thanks for all your comments, feel free to add some more they really are very usefull, I will post any developments...Cheers
16 December 2003, 02:43 PM
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i just read all that stuff posted to u and have 2 agree with most of it ... hun you were to slow ... i dont think this girl was on a tease with u ...just that she at the time of feelin that lill something in the begining ... thats when u should have made the move... instead your deeper respectfull feelings came in the way and you took your time as to not mess up .... but like 1 person said to u ...u have missed the boat ... and she not coming back in the dock again for u to have a chance to board !! soz x
16 December 2003, 04:43 PM
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I was recently given some advice on this subject and it's definitely the way to go. You should try to get more than one woman on the go at the outset. Just date as many as possible and keep them all going however well you think individual relationships are going.
This is based on the fact that so many relationships fail to take off.
If one 'relationship' fails then it doesn't really matter - there're others to fall back on, so your heart doesn't keep getting handed to you.
I have been in similar situations before where I have been seeing three girls at the same time. The thing was that I would finish it with two of them, only to have the remaining one finish with me. I thought it was 'the right thing to do' but if nothing's become serious with any of them, then I don't think anyone's going to get hurt.
This approach sounds harsh, but you have to protect your emotions.
Probably the ramblings of a bitter fool, but there you go!
[Edited by Butkus - 12/16/2003 4:44:58 PM]
This is based on the fact that so many relationships fail to take off.
If one 'relationship' fails then it doesn't really matter - there're others to fall back on, so your heart doesn't keep getting handed to you.
I have been in similar situations before where I have been seeing three girls at the same time. The thing was that I would finish it with two of them, only to have the remaining one finish with me. I thought it was 'the right thing to do' but if nothing's become serious with any of them, then I don't think anyone's going to get hurt.
This approach sounds harsh, but you have to protect your emotions.
Probably the ramblings of a bitter fool, but there you go!
[Edited by Butkus - 12/16/2003 4:44:58 PM]
16 December 2003, 10:01 PM
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Yes but she will only love him Because he is shaging some one else.
As to three women i know a few women who have multiple boyfriends aparrently they justify it by saying they "are seeing" them but not "with them"? works for women so should work for men!
As to three women i know a few women who have multiple boyfriends aparrently they justify it by saying they "are seeing" them but not "with them"? works for women so should work for men!
17 December 2003, 01:34 PM
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A while ago I got a niceish brush off. So still treated her like a mate. But made a point of not seeing her so often. Now one of her mates keeps asking me "So, You've given up on **** then" I always say something about no point in pushing is there if shes not interested. (This mate has a BF before you all jump to that conclusion)
No Smoke without fire I suppose! SO sometimes a girl can only see what shes missing when your not around. So get out and pull something else pronto.
No Smoke without fire I suppose!
SO sometimes a girl can only see what shes missing when your not around. So get out and pull something else pronto.