VinPetrol

TonyNesta:
Lol busta gonad (tell me bout it)

Weapon69:
Thanks for the optimism, most others seem to think i'm too late.

Butkus:
May have to give that theory a try out some time m8, makes sence to me.

IT_WW(?):
True, that one did occur to me actuley, cheers.

DEVELOPMENT:
I texted her last night n asked her out for a drink, her reply was "definatly before xmas". Maybe thats a small glimmer of hope eh weapon69...

weapon69

Look, my bf had to wait 2 years and got plenty of 'look your just a mate ok' or 'no never ever'.

I now live with said bloke

LMAO kinda hope she's not like me

RICH WILD

Did she say before "THIS" Xmas though? Sorry, I had to.

Play it cool m8. Go with the flow. Go out with her expecting nothing. Then if something does happen it will be a bonus. Don't push it. To much effort on your part is a big turn off. If she wants it, she'll come and get it.

I'm a firm believer in "if it's meant to be, it's meant to be". If it's not, then women are like buses, another will be along shortly.

Brendan Hughes

Eh? Surely you mean you wait for ages, then three come along at once?

DavidBrown

Agree with Butkus to a certain extent.. if you can have 3 or so women "on the the go" at any one time, it's for the best. Reasons:

1. If one loses interest in you, so what ? You've still got to others to keep you occupied. Less emotional commitment and subsequent loss.

2. It keeps you occupied so that you're not too keen/desperate on a given women (one of the most common reasons why women drop men)

Although, as soon as it gets "serious" with one of them (hopefully your preferred girl) you should get rid of the other girls, to prevent any bunny boiling situations.

weapon69

Isn't that a bit desperate keeping 3 on the go at once? What, can't you live without a gf or something?

DavidBrown

Err. yes.. but being a heterosexual male, I find myself attracted to women for some strange reason.

As such, so long as nobody is emotionally attached, I see no problem dating multiple women concurrently.

I didn't say "You MUST date women", I was just giving a solution to a problem.

weapon69

LOL Thats not called dating, its called sh@gging about!!

Turbo_Steve

I'm really with Rich Wild on that one: if it doesn't work out, it wasn't meant to be. Don't worry about it too much, dude.

matt d

**** someone else, preferably one of her friends, and see what happens. If she still says you're "just good friends", then she is clearly not interested. If she gets jealous or disapproves, then make your move - if she doesn't **** you then, give up on it.

VinPetrol

RICH WILD:
lol...& I think your words have come at a good time, thank-you !

DavidBrown:
I agree with Butkis too m8.

TurboSteve:
Thanks again TS !

Matt D:
Thats a real good idea an it would prob help get my mind off her at the same time!

Thank-you for all your comments, they are greatly appreciated.


By the way, I txted her last night an asked her to lunch today...

...an her excuse was she has no money till payday (fri) (it def is her payday cos used to work with her, thats how we met!), but she also said shes down to her last pennies so cant even txt!

Thats is a BIG brush off methinks, I didn't bother replyin cos I do have some self respect left & whats the point if she aint gonna respond ?

Incase of the minutest tiny chance that this was genuine, I will post any developments, otherwise I will post up on any progress made with her mates !

[Edited by VinPetrol - 12/18/2003 10:02:04 AM]

babber

I'd **** her mates, and wouldn't even bother with her. She's a **** tease I reckon, and there's plenty of those about. Don't waste your time on her, life is too short

Phill

VinPetrol

Im thinkin.... your right Babber !

Mice_Elf

Alternatively she really did value you as a friend, which you're now going to throw away because she won't open her legs for you.

How nice.

VinPetrol

Mice-elf:
I never said id throw any frienships away, I said I wouldnt bother replyin to her txt. Im gonna leave her alone now an see if she contacts me & if she does ( which she may well do if she is a friend ) I will behave as a friend... but will also **** her mates !

Geddon

Totally agree with ******* her mates
One of 3 things will then happen:
1. She couldn't care less
2. She starts paing some interest
3. You get to see her toatlly mental side which will make you glad you didn't get to **** her

Freak

either way you get some- so everybody wins

TonyNesta

Come on Mice_Elf, be fair to the guy, he seems to have made a lot of effort for this girl and got very little in return, Vin, correct me if I'm wrong.

I'm not saying she should open her legs just cos he's a mate, but even friendship is a two way thing - tell us Vin, has she been there for you when you needed a friend ? Has she helped you out at all ?

Call me cynical and bitter, but do you get anything from this friendship ? Friends do things for each other, and don't take what they can get one minute, and then do a runner when you need some support. Taking a beautiful girl out now and again might do your self-esteem some short-term good, but not getting your feelings reciprocated doesn't count in my book, and will only make you feel worse. Well, thats been my experience.

T

Mice_Elf

Ok so let's look at the scenario...

Vin & girl are friends for x amount of time (2 years, I think)
Vin decides that he wants to get some
Unsure, he posts on a public BBS how to approach
Tries to approach said girl, gets less than encouraging response
Decides to go for her mates instead.

He's had what, 2 years to go for her mates or anyone else? And didn't?

From where I stand, she's not letting him have sex with her, so he's stopped speaking to her, until she contacts him. =shrug=

Katana

Mice. He's p1ssed off because she sleeps with everyone else BUT him. Being friends with women like that is like being in a relationship but without the sex.

Mice_Elf

Edited because can't be bothered.

Good luck in your seach, VinPetrol.

[Edited by Mice_Elf - 12/18/2003 11:38:55 AM]

ProperCharlie

two scenarios:

1)he ends up ******** her - fair play to both of them.

2)he doesn't end up ******** her. in this case we have to give the bloke the benefit of the doubt and assume that he will at some stage end up ******** someone else, in which case we won't be worried about being friends with her in any case.

Adrian F

More to the point they have had this friend ship on different understandings he did it as he fancied her and she did it? well we will never know! but now he knows she doesn't see him like that he is going to move on for a women who does so if the friend ship is to continue then it needs a different basis.

How is that wrong the only mistake is the lack of communication and that is a two way thing.

i have been there and so have many blokes as we have trouble working out what women want as they rarely mean what they say and just send out confusing signals to us men! see complete thread above where after 2 years as friends he still wasn't sure if she fancied him or not!

Katana

Most importantly, can we have a pic of her? Better yet, her MSN would do just fine for me.

icantthinkofone

weapon69.. I'm agreeing with what most peeps are saying here, it's not $hagging about, the proviso - as I understand, and apply it - is that if you get to the couple (******** def counts) point with any one, then ditch the others.

Have to say it beats the hell out of what (it appears) vin has done, (and I have done in the past..) be 'friends' and get emotionally attached, build that one girl up on to a pedestal etc. Then the hurt and rejection when it doesn't fly..

The observation I'd make is that to me (guys in general?) to get together (relationship) / sleep with your best (opposite sex) mate is the most logical thing in the world. Girls seem to compartmentalise into friend / mate. eg, a very good (female) friend of mine once said: "If I fancied you we wouldn't be such good mates". Well, we are, and I'm glad for that... but I (did) happen to think we'd make a great couple.

P.S. FWIW I'm happily coupled up atm (tempting fate )

[Edited by icantthinkofone - 12/18/2003 11:47:46 AM]

weapon69

Oh ok i thought you were all encouraging a 3-timing situation

Adrian F

Weapon 69 as i have posted before i was talking to a women recently and she was "seeing" a number of different men but this was OK as see was only "Seeing them" Not "With them"

Obviously to the female mind this was not cheating?

Not my understanding but of course not my life.

Turbo_Steve

Let's face it, all this comes about because different people follow different rules.

You cannot generically dismiss ALL women as subscribing to the Ladder theory, as there must be a percentage of them that are looking for something else. For some girls novelty IS more important than money / fame / power.

In the same way, for guys it ISN'T all about how lucky you can get with the best looking woman. Compatibility always comes in to it: for example, I couldn't COULDN'T sustain a relationship with someone who didn't have a clue about cars, and thought that a Nissan Micra was "nippy". I'd feel compelled to shoot them. So perhaps we are all being a little reductionist here.

Vin is free to do what he wants: he always was. He's tested his 'friendship' with said lady (if it WAS a friendship) and has been rebuffed. He is now young, free and single and free to hook up with anyone who takes his fancy. I would suggest he does so.
TBH, I'd leave her mates alone, Vin. Better just to mention in passing that you've got a date and see how she reacts. You don't even really have to have one!

TBH, if she needs you as a friend, then she'll be in touch soon enough. Same as if you value her as a friend I am sure you will be in touch when you want something (no NOT sex) because a true friendship relies on a balance of people needing things from each other (again, NOT sex).

Simply going for the best looking girl you can is NOT the recipe for a long and happy relationship (as I am sure everyone here with an IQ above 5 knows): it's mainly just massaging your ego. Agreed, you need to fancy a girl in the first place, but even that is more complicated than simple looks: you opinions of how someone looks are influenced by your feelings about them, AND vice versa.

At the end of the day, Vin, needs to examine the situation with Ms.Brush-off. If your moivation is purely sexual, then there is plenty of that available out there and you don't need to go chasing down your friends for it.

If you are feeling used, then just let her know. If she's a true friend she will want to talk about it.

Honesty is still the best policy in life.

icantthinkofone

Aye, and some peeps are just downright picky... I want someone who looks like a supermodel, has 'compatibility' - gets the same things as I do etc., preferably stinking rich so I can stop working, Can keep up with me being (and be) somewhat zany / impulsive (low boredom threshold here!). erm.. anything else???

I'm never going to find out if someone I don't 'fancy' physically is compatible.. cos I won't make the effort. However, pretty as, but dull ain't going to hook me either.

Funny old world!

[edit] Doh! didn't read turbo steve's post properly.. we agree!

[Edited by icantthinkofone - 12/18/2003 5:05:31 PM]

durleydude

Edited to say ....DOH!

[Edited by durleydude - 12/19/2003 10:37:35 AM]