Favourite phrases and sayings
01 April 2004, 01:20 PM
#65
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When going to the toilet to do a number 2:
"I'm off to release a chocolate hostage!"
When describing something...err.. slippery:
"Slippery as a greased weasel!"
"I'm off to release a chocolate hostage!"
When describing something...err.. slippery:
"Slippery as a greased weasel!"
01 April 2004, 01:24 PM
#66
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When describing an ugly woman.
If she were my dog I'd shave it's **** and teach it to walk backwards.
When Describing someone who's unlucky
He could fall in a bucket of **** and come out sucking his thumb.
A closed mouth gather's no foot.
Sex is like air. It's not important until your not getting any.
One for the techies..
There are only 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand Bianary and those who don't.
Ade
If she were my dog I'd shave it's **** and teach it to walk backwards.
When Describing someone who's unlucky
He could fall in a bucket of **** and come out sucking his thumb.
A closed mouth gather's no foot.
Sex is like air. It's not important until your not getting any.
One for the techies..
There are only 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand Bianary and those who don't.
Ade
01 April 2004, 03:11 PM
#70
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Eyes like a one armed paper hanger - nervous/jumpy
Needs a bag for her onions - bra less
She wouldn't bang her nose if she walked in to a wall - large ones
As fit as a butchers dog
One in the departure lounge - need a dump
Tortoise has got his head out of the shell - still need a dump
FUBAR'd - F**ked Up Beyond All Recognition (Stallone film ? with Terry Hatcher mmmm)
Wouldn't **** on him, if he was on fire
You set yourself extremely low standards, which unfortunately you then fail to achieve - classic from Peter Ustinov
Needs a bag for her onions - bra less
She wouldn't bang her nose if she walked in to a wall - large ones
As fit as a butchers dog
One in the departure lounge - need a dump
Tortoise has got his head out of the shell - still need a dump
FUBAR'd - F**ked Up Beyond All Recognition (Stallone film ? with Terry Hatcher mmmm)
Wouldn't **** on him, if he was on fire
You set yourself extremely low standards, which unfortunately you then fail to achieve - classic from Peter Ustinov
01 April 2004, 03:58 PM
#72
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Stallone film ? with Terry Hatcher mmmm
Best time was the last, grenade down "ponytail's" pants - "FUBAR, big time"
01 April 2004, 04:09 PM
#74
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Dont think we've had these ones......
touching cloth (needing a poo)
I'm just gonna drop the kids off at the pool (taking a poo)
he's a tinney short of a sixpack (and similar, like 'he's a sanwich short of a picnic' etc...) (he's a nutter)
smuggling peanuts/smarties (when a lady's nips poke out)
make the bald man cry (ejaculation
)
touching cloth (needing a poo)
I'm just gonna drop the kids off at the pool (taking a poo)
he's a tinney short of a sixpack (and similar, like 'he's a sanwich short of a picnic' etc...) (he's a nutter)
smuggling peanuts/smarties (when a lady's nips poke out)
make the bald man cry (ejaculation
)
01 April 2004, 11:11 PM
#78
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Tighter than a gnats chuff
That tastes like dead badgers
oh. and a horrifying one a gay friend of mine said once, when checking out a passer by
'ooh, id split him like a stick of dry wood'
Just remembered one i use all to frequently.
'like a frog on speed' - best applied to completely random things e.g. if someone says 'thats interesting?' you ask 'interesting like a frog on speed?' back.... oh im sad.
That tastes like dead badgers
oh. and a horrifying one a gay friend of mine said once, when checking out a passer by
'ooh, id split him like a stick of dry wood'
Just remembered one i use all to frequently.
'like a frog on speed' - best applied to completely random things e.g. if someone says 'thats interesting?' you ask 'interesting like a frog on speed?' back.... oh im sad.
Last edited by ChrisChennell; 01 April 2004 at 11:15 PM. Reason: remembered another one
02 April 2004, 12:47 AM
#79
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When your tank breaksdown, become a gun emplacement, when out of ammo become a pill box , when out of time become a hero.
Quote from beast of war.
Quote from beast of war.
02 April 2004, 07:58 AM
#81
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One more sorry.
"Those who know the least know it the loudest"
Look around the office there will be one there!!!
Oh and of course.............goes round CORNERS like its on rails !!
"Those who know the least know it the loudest"
Look around the office there will be one there!!!
Oh and of course.............goes round CORNERS like its on rails !!
02 April 2004, 08:22 AM
#82
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One of the best putdowns I heard was: "You could write all he knows on a frog's foreskin in 28 point. Twice. And you'd still have space to spare."
Coming from our chief exec (talking about a recently departed board member) made i9s particularly memorable.
Coming from our chief exec (talking about a recently departed board member) made i9s particularly memorable.
02 April 2004, 01:03 PM
#86
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"That could`nt pull a black man off me mother" describing a low powered car
"I`d rather sit with my fingers in a mangle" I`d rather not do that
"I could eat a scabby horse" a touch peckish
"He`s got a face like a smacked ****"
"Salad dodger" fat person
"soap dodger" smelly person
"I`d rather sit with my fingers in a mangle" I`d rather not do that
"I could eat a scabby horse" a touch peckish
"He`s got a face like a smacked ****"
"Salad dodger" fat person
"soap dodger" smelly person
02 April 2004, 01:28 PM
#88
Scooby Regular
bit chilly outside?
'Colder than a polar bear's ****'
Not really a saying, but makes me chuckle....
'she were that fat, when she sat on me face I couldn't hear me stereo!'
A fit bird's body....
'She's got an **** that could crack walnuts'
Something uncomfortable?
'It would bring tear's to a glass eye'
'Colder than a polar bear's ****'
Not really a saying, but makes me chuckle....
'she were that fat, when she sat on me face I couldn't hear me stereo!'
A fit bird's body....
'She's got an **** that could crack walnuts'
Something uncomfortable?
'It would bring tear's to a glass eye'
