Do you ever know what you want to do?
22 June 2004, 11:56 AM
#31
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Been done shamrock
Ali-B,
You need to make sure you don't fall into that trap of not appreciating what you've got and always wanting something else. It's very easy to get depressed about the things you don't have in life and then one day waking up as a 50 year old that's never found the life you wanted.
I too wanna be a rock star
but in the mean time I'm just appreciating being healthy, I've joined an e-mail mentoring program for pupils in under priveleged area's, taken up Kickboxing and am trying to get as qualified as I can so I can use the qualification to see the world.I know these things won't work for everybody but I find that just taking up small oppportunities to do something different in life helps to make life more bearable and gives me more knowledge on what I want to do with life.
22 June 2004, 01:17 PM
#33
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For what its worth i have a simple philosiphy
"work to live, dont live to work"
I do quite like my job but everything is what you make of it, i would rather be at home with my laydee or spending time on holiday etc so i make the most of my weekends and maximise my available holiday, people think i am mad as ive got my whole allocation of holidays booked by march every year but i atleast have something to look forward to rather than just using up my holiday entitlement.
I wanted to get into racing too, so i did, not on a grand scale but i have a XR challenge car i race and should get 3 races in this year, it doesnt cost the earth but i love it. i would say from strating with nothing to hitting the track on my first race i spent £3k and if i need to i could re sell the car.
I've got the scoob too, it damn near costs the same as my mortgage but everytime i hear it burble on over run it makes me smile so i justify the cost to myself as its my happyness and not someone elses business how i spend my money
What i'm basically saying is find the things you enjoy and make the most of them and stop worriying about what you dont have it stops you seeing what you could have or do have
FYI i turned 25 in may
"work to live, dont live to work"
I do quite like my job but everything is what you make of it, i would rather be at home with my laydee or spending time on holiday etc so i make the most of my weekends and maximise my available holiday, people think i am mad as ive got my whole allocation of holidays booked by march every year but i atleast have something to look forward to rather than just using up my holiday entitlement.
I wanted to get into racing too, so i did, not on a grand scale but i have a XR challenge car i race and should get 3 races in this year, it doesnt cost the earth but i love it. i would say from strating with nothing to hitting the track on my first race i spent £3k and if i need to i could re sell the car.
I've got the scoob too, it damn near costs the same as my mortgage but everytime i hear it burble on over run it makes me smile so i justify the cost to myself as its my happyness and not someone elses business how i spend my money
What i'm basically saying is find the things you enjoy and make the most of them and stop worriying about what you dont have it stops you seeing what you could have or do have
FYI i turned 25 in may
22 June 2004, 01:47 PM
#35
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RayC, nice post, thanks 
. I'm quite happy in my job, but I do feel that my free time just drifts away without me doing much about it.
. I'm quite happy in my job, but I do feel that my free time just drifts away without me doing much about it.
Last edited by Brendan Hughes; 22 June 2004 at 01:50 PM.
22 June 2004, 03:24 PM
#36
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Read 'What Should I Do With My Life?' by Po Bronson
It's not a 'how to' guide rather a collection of true stories of 'people who have taken the ultimate challenge of self-discovery by uprooting their lives and starting all over again'. It's a good read - real food for thought as the people in it are from every walk of life/profession/age and not all are successful at finding what will make them happy (many are though). I found all of the life-searching type questions that constantly eat me up at 35 cropped up in this book.
All I would say to you is don't panic - you really have still got so much time ahead of you at your age to try different things with little risk or penalty. I would give anything to rewind 10 years and have a second stab at my twenties. I'm going through a premature mid-life crisis now I think I question everything, am not happy with where my career is heading or my lifestyle but am starting to think I'm already too old to try some things.
I always thought I'd never be one of those people that lives a 'standard' grey/mundane 9-5 type of existence. But it just kind of creeps up on you unless you're really careful. It sucks.
The one thing that I am starting to realise is that the biggest enemy is our own fears. We get 'paralysed' by our fears so end up doing nothing. The older I get the harder I find it is to take risks and potentially make a prat of myself. But you have age on your side and you can take some risks to find real happiness. Just don't let yourself stay in a rut and let life pass you by!
As a mate keeps telling me 'we're a long time dead!'
It's not a 'how to' guide rather a collection of true stories of 'people who have taken the ultimate challenge of self-discovery by uprooting their lives and starting all over again'. It's a good read - real food for thought as the people in it are from every walk of life/profession/age and not all are successful at finding what will make them happy (many are though). I found all of the life-searching type questions that constantly eat me up at 35 cropped up in this book.
All I would say to you is don't panic - you really have still got so much time ahead of you at your age to try different things with little risk or penalty. I would give anything to rewind 10 years and have a second stab at my twenties. I'm going through a premature mid-life crisis now I think
I question everything, am not happy with where my career is heading or my lifestyle but am starting to think I'm already too old to try some things.I always thought I'd never be one of those people that lives a 'standard' grey/mundane 9-5 type of existence. But it just kind of creeps up on you unless you're really careful. It sucks.
The one thing that I am starting to realise is that the biggest enemy is our own fears. We get 'paralysed' by our fears so end up doing nothing. The older I get the harder I find it is to take risks and potentially make a prat of myself. But you have age on your side and you can take some risks to find real happiness. Just don't let yourself stay in a rut and let life pass you by!
As a mate keeps telling me 'we're a long time dead!'
22 June 2004, 03:42 PM
#37
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PS do any of the scoobynet regulars think this is parallel to the old programme "Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your TV and Go and Do Something Else?" - that was shown on TV
22 June 2004, 04:24 PM
#38
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Originally Posted by Drunken Bungle *****
The worst thing about life isn't failure - it's the regret that you never even tried.
22 June 2004, 04:36 PM
#39
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Originally Posted by matt85
Best bit of advice on this entire board if you ask me
Matt
22 June 2004, 04:44 PM
#40
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I'm currently at a turning point in my career life that will shape out my future one way or another. I'm 27 and started work at 18 fixing Pressure Washers of all things and really enjoyed although it was quite long hours.
At 23, my mother became a director of a small IFA practice and asked me if I fancied a career change. I didn't really want to be an IFA but I lost the place I was staying at in Oxford and affording a place was difficult on my salary at that time so I agreed to the move and moved in with my mum for a while.
I've now a place of my own and have a lovely daughter and an OK partner (different thread altogether but influences feelings none the less). I guess a complete change of career will be hard for me if not impossible becuase of my commitments and for the last 4 years I've worked to create a very competent back office system and built our entire network on weekends and evenings saving us a fortune on hiring someone to do it for us. I'm pretty good with computers etc but no very little about that side of the industry that provides high wages.
My worry now is that I really need to make a decision to become an IFA - advising people every day regarding their financial matters etc. I'm pretty rubbish talking to complete strangers and have a high lack of confidence when it comes to operating in this role. Its more than likely that is I succeed as an IFA I will eventually take over but I'm totally stressed and a bit scared that I won't make it as an IFA or I'll be crap at running the business.
Someone with more confidence would jump at the opportunity I have in front of me and if done properly theres no reason why I can't earn 40-60K+ (based on director income) but I can't get excited about ISA and Pensions etc... All I really want to do is work for a car tuning company or learn car ECU mapping and car electronics but this would mean re-education.
I guess its the minority who feel totally at one with all aspects of their life eh?
At 23, my mother became a director of a small IFA practice and asked me if I fancied a career change. I didn't really want to be an IFA but I lost the place I was staying at in Oxford and affording a place was difficult on my salary at that time so I agreed to the move and moved in with my mum for a while.
I've now a place of my own and have a lovely daughter and an OK partner (different thread altogether but influences feelings none the less). I guess a complete change of career will be hard for me if not impossible becuase of my commitments and for the last 4 years I've worked to create a very competent back office system and built our entire network on weekends and evenings saving us a fortune on hiring someone to do it for us. I'm pretty good with computers etc but no very little about that side of the industry that provides high wages.
My worry now is that I really need to make a decision to become an IFA - advising people every day regarding their financial matters etc. I'm pretty rubbish talking to complete strangers and have a high lack of confidence when it comes to operating in this role. Its more than likely that is I succeed as an IFA I will eventually take over but I'm totally stressed and a bit scared that I won't make it as an IFA or I'll be crap at running the business.
Someone with more confidence would jump at the opportunity I have in front of me and if done properly theres no reason why I can't earn 40-60K+ (based on director income) but I can't get excited about ISA and Pensions etc... All I really want to do is work for a car tuning company or learn car ECU mapping and car electronics but this would mean re-education.
I guess its the minority who feel totally at one with all aspects of their life eh?
22 June 2004, 04:53 PM
#41
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In the words of Nike - Just Do It!
I could earn tons more in a different job(Sales - been there seen it done it!), but I don't want the pressure and I enjoy what I do too much! (I run training courses for Allied Bakeries). I've walked away from a bigger and better paid job at a 'better' company (Christie's) because frankly I didn't really like the people and central London was peeing me off!
YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE!!!!
Maybe you won't be a rally driver or whatever it is you want - but you can work with great people and have fun. Maybe you could be an accountant for a rally car company or manufacturer?
God forbid - but imagine you were told you only had 12 months left to live - what would your priorities be? So why aren't they your priorities now? It's possible to downsize and have the life you want - if you really want it.
I used to run some holistic time management courses at a previous company which didn't just cover the 8 hours at work, but covered the whole 24 hours in a day. After a couple of people left their jobs I was disuaded from running any more...
The money might be good, but how many hours would you be expected to work? Calculate the hourly rate - you'd probably be better of working at McDonalds!
GO FOR IT!!
I could earn tons more in a different job(Sales - been there seen it done it!), but I don't want the pressure and I enjoy what I do too much! (I run training courses for Allied Bakeries). I've walked away from a bigger and better paid job at a 'better' company (Christie's) because frankly I didn't really like the people and central London was peeing me off!
YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE!!!!
Maybe you won't be a rally driver or whatever it is you want - but you can work with great people and have fun. Maybe you could be an accountant for a rally car company or manufacturer?
God forbid - but imagine you were told you only had 12 months left to live - what would your priorities be? So why aren't they your priorities now? It's possible to downsize and have the life you want - if you really want it.
I used to run some holistic time management courses at a previous company which didn't just cover the 8 hours at work, but covered the whole 24 hours in a day. After a couple of people left their jobs I was disuaded from running any more...
The money might be good, but how many hours would you be expected to work? Calculate the hourly rate - you'd probably be better of working at McDonalds!
GO FOR IT!!
22 June 2004, 04:55 PM
#42
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Oh - and I have a postcard pinned to my bookcase at home:
"Be not so busy making a living that you forget to make a life"
May have that on my tombstone one day!
"Be not so busy making a living that you forget to make a life"
May have that on my tombstone one day!
22 June 2004, 05:01 PM
#43
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Great advice DBW, living life like you've only got 12 months left gives you a great perspective.
This is something I've thought about but I've not had much luck in finding any opportunites. Anyone know of any jobs going ??
living life like you've only got 12 months left gives you a great perspective.
you could be an accountant for a rally car company or manufacturer?
22 June 2004, 05:25 PM
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'Good days, bad days' we all have both, I was always told to make sure I had more good ones and strived to find something positive in the bad ones! Most of it comes down to your own 'make-up' as a person (ie are you happy go lucky or always worried etc....) the rest is your enviroment- you cant do a lot about the first, but u can change the second! the flipside is a great comment. "you can take a donkey around the world, when it comes back it will still be a donkey" be carefull its not just yourself you are escaping from if you consider travelling.
22 June 2004, 07:09 PM
#45
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I love all these posts, you are all amazing!
I would like to say thanks for all your advice =)
I am happy with everything I am, everything I've done & everything I've got, I dont take it for granted & never focus on what I havent got as I know I have more now than some people will ever have in their entire life.
My life is amazing there is nothing I need, just felt like I was a bit lost & now I know that most people feel lost at some time or with some part of their life.
I gues you can have a job you love but you need to find out what is important to you (not money for me) I guess I just need to start trying things out.
I dont feel like I could just set off to another country & work there as I have my partner to think about & what they want too. I want to share my life with them & this means sacrificing some of my aspirations, as they are more important to me than anything else. We are also tied to England for a good 3 years through debt!
Thanks again for all your stories & advice!! Kel
I would like to say thanks for all your advice =)
I am happy with everything I am, everything I've done & everything I've got, I dont take it for granted & never focus on what I havent got as I know I have more now than some people will ever have in their entire life.
My life is amazing there is nothing I need, just felt like I was a bit lost & now I know that most people feel lost at some time or with some part of their life.
I gues you can have a job you love but you need to find out what is important to you (not money for me) I guess I just need to start trying things out.
I dont feel like I could just set off to another country & work there as I have my partner to think about & what they want too. I want to share my life with them & this means sacrificing some of my aspirations, as they are more important to me than anything else. We are also tied to England for a good 3 years through debt!
Thanks again for all your stories & advice!! Kel
22 June 2004, 07:23 PM
#46
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Originally Posted by EddScott
Someone with more confidence would jump at the opportunity I have in front of me and if done properly theres no reason why I can't earn 40-60K+ (based on director income) but I can't get excited about ISA and Pensions etc...
Money isn't everything - though it helps...
