What's the drunkest you have ever been?
08 July 2004, 10:58 AM
#31
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My fav tale is my mates brother stag do in Norwich somewhere. Went out, drank lots of pernod and black (I was young!). Got back to hotel and went to bed. Awoke in early hours feeling sick. Managed to get to toilet and puked on target, but when I finished I realised the toilet lid was still down. I spent the next 2 hours wipping purple vomit off the ceiling with my towels.
08 July 2004, 11:38 AM
#32
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Work night out when I was 24, 12 pints of guiness on empty stomach, had a girl that I worked with in my team be all over me all night 
, when at the club later that night she went off to the loo and all of a sudden my homing beacon kicked in - the time of no return when this happens Just got up and left the club while she was in the loo - didn't say a word to anyone, got about 800 yds up the road and decided to sit down for a rest outside the police station. Decided laying down was best and passed out.
Next thing I knew I was in A&E being asked what my name was and what drugs i'd been taking Took them ages to get any sense out of me as I couldn't even speak but eventually told them I hadn't taken any drugs, just lots of Guiness lol 
Apparently i'd arrived at hospital by police car with the lights on sirens blaring as they thought I was close to deaths door due to a drugs overdose That was about 1am. It was 3am before they got me to wake up and 5am by the time they had got any sense out of me and got someone to collect me who they explained all this too. Oh and when they turned up I was slouched in the doorway with another drunk smoking a spliff apparently Got home just after 5am and then got up for work at 7.30 and went in and had quite a rough day, and hide from the bint who had been all over me like a rash who wasn't too impressed I had done a runner while she was in the bog
This place that I worked at had many evenings/trips out like this. Had a trip to Paris and also Brussells on the company due to hitting targets and on both those trips we were w@nkered by 10am let alone by the time we were coming home through customs at Ashford International off the Eurostar I have never worked with such heavy drinkers since - they were heavy beyond belief, as in 10 pints and not even the slightest bit wobbly 
I am, however, now far more socially responsible as the above is disgusting behaviour and something that I do not condone
, when at the club later that night she went off to the loo and all of a sudden my homing beacon kicked in - the time of no return when this happens Just got up and left the club while she was in the loo - didn't say a word to anyone, got about 800 yds up the road and decided to sit down for a rest outside the police station. Decided laying down was best and passed out.Next thing I knew I was in A&E being asked what my name was and what drugs i'd been taking
Took them ages to get any sense out of me as I couldn't even speak but eventually told them I hadn't taken any drugs, just lots of Guiness lol Apparently i'd arrived at hospital by police car with the lights on sirens blaring as they thought I was close to deaths door due to a drugs overdose
That was about 1am. It was 3am before they got me to wake up and 5am by the time they had got any sense out of me and got someone to collect me who they explained all this too. Oh and when they turned up I was slouched in the doorway with another drunk smoking a spliff apparently Got home just after 5am and then got up for work at 7.30 and went in and had quite a rough day, and hide from the bint who had been all over me like a rash who wasn't too impressed I had done a runner while she was in the bog This place that I worked at had many evenings/trips out like this. Had a trip to Paris and also Brussells on the company due to hitting targets and on both those trips we were w@nkered by 10am let alone by the time we were coming home through customs at Ashford International off the Eurostar
I have never worked with such heavy drinkers since - they were heavy beyond belief, as in 10 pints and not even the slightest bit wobbly I am, however, now far more socially responsible as the above is disgusting behaviour and something that I do not condone
08 July 2004, 11:47 AM
#33
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This place that I worked at had many evenings/trips out like this. Had a trip to Paris and also Brussells on the company
Name and address of company please! (i wanna get my CV in early )
08 July 2004, 12:02 PM
#34
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Proabaly the worst one for actions was when i was at a house party and drank a bottle of absinthe by myself. Apparantly (cos I have no memory) of this I was so pissed i was obsessing about keeping the noise to a minimum and managed to not only break a tone arm on a technics 1210 by dropping a pillow on it, but managing to nail a duvet to a wall as well
Eventually I passed out on a bed, still clutching the bottle and dribbling a lot. I woke up at 4am and threw my guts up into the garden three stories below. I then had a bit of a sleep.
Ah, the joys of youth
astraboy.
Eventually I passed out on a bed, still clutching the bottle and dribbling a lot. I woke up at 4am and threw my guts up into the garden three stories below. I then had a bit of a sleep.
Ah, the joys of youth
astraboy.
08 July 2004, 12:22 PM
#36
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Night before I got marrried, none of this whimping out on stag do and having it a week before. I was totally unconscious, couldnt have been far off alchohol poisoning, same week a guy did die on his stag night!
Never got home, I was ill for several days, the photographer had to put my eyes in later. Wife says if she'd have known it would have been off... pity she didnt know then!
Never got home, I was ill for several days, the photographer had to put my eyes in later. Wife says if she'd have known it would have been off... pity she didnt know then!
08 July 2004, 12:26 PM
#37
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Originally Posted by Graz
Ahhh so many memories (or rather lack of).....
Probably my worst incident was when I was at Uni. I went to Surrey Uni, in Guildford. There was a pub called The Ram in Farncombe, don't think it exists anymore
Anyway it was one stop down the railway line from Guildford. The place was infamous for selling these very strong cider cocktails (pints), with interesting names such as Hand Grenade, Kamikaze, etc. As you'd expect it was a mecca for us drunken students.
Anyway on one particular evening I had seven pints of the stuff, doesn't sound alot I know but even the most hardend drinkers would stop after 4-5, it was strong stuff. Don't really remember much after that. Woke up the next day in my room on the Uni campus feeling a bit worse for wear. Found I had a huge bruise on my side I had no recollection of how I got back, and remember I had to get on a train to get home
I treat Cider with respect now, still enjoy a few pints of it though
Probably my worst incident was when I was at Uni. I went to Surrey Uni, in Guildford. There was a pub called The Ram in Farncombe, don't think it exists anymore
Anyway it was one stop down the railway line from Guildford. The place was infamous for selling these very strong cider cocktails (pints), with interesting names such as Hand Grenade, Kamikaze, etc. As you'd expect it was a mecca for us drunken students.Anyway on one particular evening I had seven pints of the stuff, doesn't sound alot I know but even the most hardend drinkers would stop after 4-5, it was strong stuff. Don't really remember much after that. Woke up the next day in my room on the Uni campus feeling a bit worse for wear. Found I had a huge bruise on my side
I had no recollection of how I got back, and remember I had to get on a train to get home I treat Cider with respect now, still enjoy a few pints of it though
Served proper cider - not this pumped p!ss. It is indeed closed down now
08 July 2004, 03:24 PM
#38
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hmmmm, where do i start... 
most recent was actually last wednesday where me and a mate drunk 1ltr of vodka between us along with about 4/5 pints. didnt even make it out the house but decided a bit of a wrestle was in order....(i'm not a noofter BTW!) full body slams, DDt's, full nelsons etc... how we didnt brake something i'll never know!
Have 2 that are simualy bad, went out with mates in a bar had 4/5 pints then went to the toilet, decided to start us on the double vod red bulls and went to the bar on the way back and bought 5. In this time my mates had been chucked out, not being one to waste drink i sat a drunk all 5 as quickly as i could.
my friends having taken my coat with my phone in i decided to go to the bar where i DJ. they see what a state i'm in and decide it'll be a laugh to mess me up as much as they can, drunk a few shots, B52's, flat liners etc... then they started giving me Absinth...it then gets a bit blury!
i remember lying on the pavement with someone asking me my name and being un-able to remember. the next thing i know i'm lying in a & e with heart monitors stuck to my chest!
the other was in Miami which involved driving past a shreiff puking...
most recent was actually last wednesday where me and a mate drunk 1ltr of vodka between us along with about 4/5 pints. didnt even make it out the house but decided a bit of a wrestle was in order....(i'm not a noofter BTW!) full body slams, DDt's, full nelsons etc... how we didnt brake something i'll never know!
Have 2 that are simualy bad, went out with mates in a bar had 4/5 pints then went to the toilet, decided to start us on the double vod red bulls and went to the bar on the way back and bought 5. In this time my mates had been chucked out, not being one to waste drink i sat a drunk all 5 as quickly as i could.
my friends having taken my coat with my phone in i decided to go to the bar where i DJ. they see what a state i'm in and decide it'll be a laugh to mess me up as much as they can, drunk a few shots, B52's, flat liners etc... then they started giving me Absinth...it then gets a bit blury!
i remember lying on the pavement with someone asking me my name and being un-able to remember. the next thing i know i'm lying in a & e with heart monitors stuck to my chest!
the other was in Miami which involved driving past a shreiff puking...
08 July 2004, 03:55 PM
#39
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don't drink very much now, probably about 40 units a week. the whole of last year, had a very messy personal life and drank to 'forget' every night - nearly 12 months at around 150 units a week.
08 July 2004, 04:54 PM
#40
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I think this link http://unix.rulez.org/~calver/pictures/day_after_party/ paints a pretty good picture of todays drinking culture 
08 July 2004, 05:01 PM
#41
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Originally Posted by Fosters
don't drink very much now, probably about 40 units a week.
Healthy max is 28/week for a male.
Gotta admire those who have ended up in hospital/had fits after all the booze on here. You'd think they'd learn a lesson from it, but no, seems a few carry on and do it again! MAD!
A seizure usually results in a minimum 1 year withdrawal of your driving licence.
Last edited by imlach; 08 July 2004 at 05:03 PM.
08 July 2004, 05:14 PM
#42
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Errm arrested for having naked running races around a church in our local pedestrianised town centre at appx midnight once - that was scary drunk!
Usual peeing where one shouldnt, bed, baths, wardrobes etc on occasion.
Had a party at mine once passed out and woke up at lunchtime the next day in the downstairs bog and when I opened the door everyone had gone home...
God bless merr juice and all its mystical powers
Usual peeing where one shouldnt, bed, baths, wardrobes etc on occasion.
Had a party at mine once passed out and woke up at lunchtime the next day in the downstairs bog and when I opened the door everyone had gone home...
God bless merr juice and all its mystical powers
08 July 2004, 06:39 PM
#44
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like most, i do stoopid things when pissed, climbing up big lamposts, peeing in video recorders and out of windows then falling off the window ledge and 'spraying' everywhere
most daft was in Le Mans a few years back, after a weekend on the **** (strangely enough) the last night was a step too far, very hammered so i decided to rugby tackle some rubbish bins
all was going well on the first few until i met an oil drum with concrete in the bottom to stop it moving, it didn't even flinch when i slammed into it
went home next day with my shoulder and side one big bruise and i lost a £300 gold chain for my troubles aswell, put a nice dent in the bin though
most daft was in Le Mans a few years back, after a weekend on the **** (strangely enough) the last night was a step too far, very hammered so i decided to rugby tackle some rubbish bins
all was going well on the first few until i met an oil drum with concrete in the bottom to stop it moving, it didn't even flinch when i slammed into it
went home next day with my shoulder and side one big bruise and i lost a £300 gold chain for my troubles aswell
, put a nice dent in the bin though
08 July 2004, 08:26 PM
#46
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Like most of you, I spent my teenage years spraying vomit over various houses/pub toilets/vehicles/scenery. Can't remember any particular incident though. My most recent shame was about 6 months back I had a similar incident to wez_sti - been on a works night out, much beer, wine etc. back to mine at about 2.a.m. a few more beers then arsed a bottle of Glenmorangie between 2 of us, then started hitting the 105% proof Whisky Society malt. We went out in the garden for a breather, and my mate insisted on a wee fight club fight, wouldn't take no for an answer, "C'mon hit me, you know you want to" and started shoving me around. He's a big lad, but naturally it escalated and we had a reasonable scrap. Next morning, my girlfriend was like, so do you remember much about last night?........ erm no. She found the empty bottle of Society malt in the garden (it was only 1/3 full but it's rocket fuel) a big lump of harling knocked off a wall, and the big give away was my mate Paul asleep on the stairs, with his T-shirt half ripped off, didn't even make it to his room. I was covered in bruises and scratches. He recently had surgery for a bit of chipped bone in his shoulder, which I'm sure was a result of that evening.
Don't do it kids!
p.s. I once went into work with odd shoes on. In my defence, they were both black.
Don't do it kids!
p.s. I once went into work with odd shoes on. In my defence, they were both black.
08 July 2004, 09:37 PM
#48
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Dunno - obviously I was very, very drunk When my Mrs spotted it (we work together) I just went "Ah........" and left the building, went home to change them, there's just no come back you can make when you've got odd shoes on
When my Mrs spotted it (we work together) I just went "Ah........" and left the building, went home to change them, there's just no come back you can make when you've got odd shoes on
08 July 2004, 09:42 PM
#49
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A few years ago now and didn't drink then either !!!
Went out on a pub crawl and got very very drunk ( fast show voice ) came home , fell over sister in law sleeping on air bed. Staggered into dining room, fell over, passed out, woke up at about 4am, stood up, climbed on table and pissed all over the dining room chairs thinking they were toilets, got off table and staggered upstairs to bed.
Awoke at about 8:30am and said to the wife " God, what a bloody weird dream, I dreamt that I pissed all over the diningroom last night".
Wife went downstairs........................WENT FECKIN BALLSITIC and realised it wasn't a dream. We've now got a new suite............LOL.
Absolutely true.
Skoosh.
Went out on a pub crawl and got very very drunk ( fast show voice ) came home , fell over sister in law sleeping on air bed. Staggered into dining room, fell over, passed out, woke up at about 4am, stood up, climbed on table and pissed all over the dining room chairs thinking they were toilets, got off table and staggered upstairs to bed.
Awoke at about 8:30am and said to the wife " God, what a bloody weird dream, I dreamt that I pissed all over the diningroom last night".
Wife went downstairs........................WENT FECKIN BALLSITIC and realised it wasn't a dream. We've now got a new suite............LOL.
Absolutely true.
Skoosh.
08 July 2004, 10:11 PM
#50
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Friends' wedding, too much booze, no recolection of 8 hours of my life (to this day!). Some b*st*rd took photos 
- me and two friends doing a "3 amigos" style sketch but I'm the one wearing the bride's new hat (got damaged mysteriously apparently).
- me looking very drunk and leaning on lots of people in too many photos.
Later when consciousness returned.
- Finding a plate of miniature cornish pasties (one with large bite mark) on my mate's coffee table (he's a veggie). Apparently I wouldn't let the minibus leave until someone fetched FOOD!
- Couldn't retrieve my wallet from my suit jacket's pocket due to the jumbo sausage roll wedging it in (flaky pastry with large BITE taken out of it.
--------
Or....
Went to girl's 18th birthday in a local club. A so-called mate decided I was gullible (I was), so kept inventing how many dry cider's he'd drank. I tried to keep pace with inevitable results. An hour after getting there I was carried outside and threw up into the grass verge. I then rolled into the gutter. Mates argued about who was going to call my dad. Argument was loudly interrupted by me screaming from the middle of the road (well it had been raining and it was drier there). A car had just passed so close to my head the spray from the NSR wheel hit my face and woke me up. ... time passes... Woke up the next morning feeling utterly crap (threw up loads). Then had to pack for a 5 hour drive to Poole in Dorset from S Wales. We were going on Holiday! How I didn't chuck up in the car I dunno.
J.
- me and two friends doing a "3 amigos" style sketch but I'm the one wearing the bride's new hat (got damaged mysteriously apparently).
- me looking very drunk and leaning on lots of people in too many photos.
Later when consciousness returned.
- Finding a plate of miniature cornish pasties (one with large bite mark) on my mate's coffee table (he's a veggie). Apparently I wouldn't let the minibus leave until someone fetched FOOD!
- Couldn't retrieve my wallet from my suit jacket's pocket due to the jumbo sausage roll wedging it in (flaky pastry with large BITE taken out of it.
--------
Or....
Went to girl's 18th birthday in a local club. A so-called mate decided I was gullible (I was), so kept inventing how many dry cider's he'd drank. I tried to keep pace with inevitable results. An hour after getting there I was carried outside and threw up into the grass verge. I then rolled into the gutter. Mates argued about who was going to call my dad. Argument was loudly interrupted by me screaming from the middle of the road (well it had been raining and it was drier there). A car had just passed so close to my head the spray from the NSR wheel hit my face and woke me up. ... time passes... Woke up the next morning feeling utterly crap (threw up loads). Then had to pack for a 5 hour drive to Poole in Dorset from S Wales. We were going on Holiday! How I didn't chuck up in the car I dunno.
J.
08 July 2004, 10:31 PM
#51
How about, breaking into a derelict house and falling through the floor, punching hand through glass and waking up without so much as a scratch.
Pooping on a Golf course, Hole in one !
Ending up naked in the back garden trying to surprise the missus, fell asleep whilst waiting.
Falling off the stage a Foo Foos Palace on my Stag night naked.
Getting dragged up on stage by a stripper at a Lions club do.
Wandering off in Cornwall after a night out, was located 15 miles away sat waiting in a graveyard not ten feet from a dead relative of ours, spooky.
Considered jumping off a hotel balcony in Kavos into the pool, pool wasnt actually a pool but concrete painted blue.
Rhodes, sleeping on a balcony next to a twenty foot drop.
At the in laws, got locked out during a romantic moment with the wife in their pool whilst house sitting, dog knocked the latch and locked us out, had to climb up to the bedroom window (starkers and drunk) via a wet pitched slate roof covered in Wisteria to climb thru a window, put hand through onto worktop, was actually a pile of Hello! magazines so I slid through into a heap.
Pooping on a Golf course, Hole in one !
Ending up naked in the back garden trying to surprise the missus, fell asleep whilst waiting.
Falling off the stage a Foo Foos Palace on my Stag night naked.
Getting dragged up on stage by a stripper at a Lions club do.
Wandering off in Cornwall after a night out, was located 15 miles away sat waiting in a graveyard not ten feet from a dead relative of ours, spooky.
Considered jumping off a hotel balcony in Kavos into the pool, pool wasnt actually a pool but concrete painted blue.
Rhodes, sleeping on a balcony next to a twenty foot drop.
At the in laws, got locked out during a romantic moment with the wife in their pool whilst house sitting, dog knocked the latch and locked us out, had to climb up to the bedroom window (starkers and drunk) via a wet pitched slate roof covered in Wisteria to climb thru a window, put hand through onto worktop, was actually a pile of Hello! magazines so I slid through into a heap.
08 July 2004, 11:19 PM
#52
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iv had a similar one as skoosh,not going into to much detail,
but i was that hammered that when i got home i had a **** on the video player, thinking it was the toilet
i wasent impressed with my self when i woke up to say the least
but i was that hammered that when i got home i had a **** on the video player, thinking it was the toilet
i wasent impressed with my self when i woke up to say the least
12 July 2004, 07:20 PM
#55
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Woke up last week with my mobile phone stuck to my chest, had a full imprint of buttons for hours.
Week before fell out of bed drunk and broke my laptop!!
Best ever was a few years back when a few mates and I visited another mate at Uni, several gallons later we though we would try a version of downhill skiing - down the roof of the halls!!!
Luckily it was a single story building, but one friend managed to get his heels caught in the guttering on the final part of the descent - seeing him stuck headfirst in a bush will make me chuckle to my dying day!!!!
Week before fell out of bed drunk and broke my laptop!!
Best ever was a few years back when a few mates and I visited another mate at Uni, several gallons later we though we would try a version of downhill skiing - down the roof of the halls!!!
Luckily it was a single story building, but one friend managed to get his heels caught in the guttering on the final part of the descent - seeing him stuck headfirst in a bush will make me chuckle to my dying day!!!!
12 July 2004, 08:17 PM
#57
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wasnt my worst but on saturday night i was informed that i had a full rant while under the influence about david hassholf(sp?) being a complete c**t, then i proceeded in showing everyone how to do the gay dance.
THEN i was on a mission to get cigarettes (i dont smoke) so i walked to the all night garage which is a very very long way away from the house i was in only to come back with Toffeepops
THEN i was on a mission to get cigarettes (i dont smoke) so i walked to the all night garage which is a very very long way away from the house i was in only to come back with Toffeepops
12 July 2004, 08:42 PM
#58
On a family skiing trip, went out boozing with the brother in law, came back at 4 am, went skiing at 10am still bladdered, got of the lift and spewed, couldnt ski as it was a white out and i had zero coordination, had to walk down the mountain carrying my skis.
12 July 2004, 10:02 PM
#59
waking up in a lift in a dodgy hotel in turkey by the cleaners at 5am
waking up in the right room but the wrong hotel on holliday in turkey .
managed to get lost in the isle of Kos when walking a <slapper> home at 6am after too much drink.
letting off a fire estiguisher in blackpool and then thrown it out of a 4th floor window which then hit a bus!!
jumping off a balcony into the crowd in the winter gardens at blackpool and injuring 3 people (not myself)
telling a 50 year old kebab shop assistant shes lovely /sexy/want a ****/
pissing in someones letter box
sleeping on a car bonnet cos it was warm
give up
alachol shouldnt I !!
waking up in the right room but the wrong hotel on holliday in turkey .
managed to get lost in the isle of Kos when walking a <slapper> home at 6am after too much drink.
letting off a fire estiguisher in blackpool and then thrown it out of a 4th floor window which then hit a bus!!
jumping off a balcony into the crowd in the winter gardens at blackpool and injuring 3 people (not myself)
telling a 50 year old kebab shop assistant shes lovely /sexy/want a ****/
pissing in someones letter box
sleeping on a car bonnet cos it was warm
give up
alachol shouldnt I !!
12 July 2004, 10:25 PM
#60
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Lordy you have'nt mentioned anything about your dancing you generally look a little worse for where when i've seen you in doom jigging away
you generally look a little worse for where when i've seen you in doom jigging away