StickyMicky

^^^could have saved you a serious amount of grief ^^^

fast bloke

SM gets a job with relate.... not - why did we not all listen to out dads, when they said "wimmen are more trouble than they are worth!!"

StickyMicky

binmen are more trouble then there worth

its blatently ovb that they were wernt right for each other IMO

Scott Herts

As i said she doesnt make me miserable, she is everything i want.....

Instead of listening to other people i just wish she would listen to someone that is a professional that would tell us that either, you arent right for one another or trust can be built up and she didnt give it long enough, everyone on here knows what i have done to help this situation, i want her back.........That i know i am in love with!

lordharding

iTrader: (1)

The final split is the only way forward for you both


Sorry for that

You will get over her in time

Drink (lots of it) and out on the pull helps


Maybe a lads trip to Bankok might help you realise there are hundreds of women in the world

Go through a few first

Good luck Mate

Wish

iTrader: (2)

When the relationship has run its course...... And it really sounds like it has. Its time to rethink your life... And Move on.


Its not easy, and im sure no one on here will tell you it is. (even Yoza)
But you need to start again.


I Wish you all the very best, time is a great healer. But you need to be more positive in your whole outlook on like.


TODAY IS A NEW DAY.

Brendan Hughes

Bad call. I think a trip to Bangkok might help you realise that there are less women than you think.

wacky.banana

So true. You just dont know whether you are dealing with a tranny, chick-boy, or whatever until its just too late...............

Back on topic, have read this thread and the angst and pain is near palpable. Like others have said I fear this one is at the end of the road. Same as when someone close to you dies suddenly, you must grieve, suffer the pain, let time be a healer (alas that can sometimes be a tremendously slow process) and then rebuild.

Tell you one thig though; you will definitely discover who your true friends are as you go through this.

My best wishes to you.

WB

Manda_po

I have to agree with fast bloke. She has made you unbearably miserable twice in the past month. You say you love her dearly, but how can you love someone who puts you through this, twice? When analysing your relationship you have to look at the **** times aswell as the good and it is a balancing act. I think on reflection you will find that the good times are not worth the grief. She doesn't trust you and you say you have done nothing to warrant this. It is hard enough to build up trust when it has been broken, so I fail to see how an irrational mistrust can be overcome.

Best of look mate. Let her go, and take comfort in family and friends.

Manda

Scott Herts

Well yes, i take everything on here, but still i dont thikn deep down she wants to go.....i saw her today and totally lost it in my head, just kept running for an hour, i vented alot of anger and feelings in that time.... got a feeling this isnt going to end correct for me, my head is messed. Got rid of the cats tonight, and been given sleeping tabs by the doc....if i am lucky i wont wake up

Manda_po

Scott, you really need to get a grip (easier said than done, I know). Isn't your brother visiting at the moment or tomorrow? Look at some of the more intelligent posts on here again and you might feel like taking some of the advice.

Once again, best of luck.

Manda

paul-s

are there really that many women out there ? !!!

Brun

Scott mate. I could sit here and tell you i know what you're going through - but i don't.
Last November i was finished by my Girlfriend. The situation has gone on and on between us since, and has only just been resolved for good last Thursday
You have sampled the sanctury that is Marriage which in my eyes makes you situation so much worse that mine. However - all the feelings that you are having to put up with are exactly the same as i am still going through now.
I, like you have recieved Scoobynet advice, and the same thing just popped up time after time. You just have to walk away!!! I'm not saying "marriage over", i'm just saying give each other space and time to reflect. You then need to sit down on neutral terrotory and talk - not as Husband and Wife, but simply as two adults. The whole situation needs talking about in detail until you both find common ground. If however you can't find this common ground then it is time to say goodbye and move on, but hopefully you can remain friends and be there for each other.
You very obviously love her, and she sounds like she loves you - there is something worth fighting for, but you both have to want it. Trust is the key to any relationship, and you both need to have it 100% in each other. If this cannot be achieved then you simply will not last.
This is my thread about my situation. (the first post is post 2 for some reason) You may find something usefull in there and you might not. Give it a look
If you want to pick my brains on anything i've said then feel free to drop me an email

fast bloke

Jeez - if manda is agreeing I must be talking poo


seriously - my wife nags me to the depths of misery about 2-3 times a year. Even then - I still want to beat her to death with the [paint brush/lawnmower/hedge clippers/object of nag... delete as appropriate] We have been together for about 4 million years (maybe 15 then,) and I would never consider kissing another woman, and have never considered it in 15 years. You've cheated, she has probably cheated - you are not a lifetime couple - get over it


p.s. - sticky mikey - I was agreeing - dunno about the binmen though

p.p.s - whacky bananananana - do you reckon I should cancel the Thailand trip?

Scott Herts

[QUOTE=fast bloke]Jeez - if manda is agreeing I must be talking poo
You've cheated, she has probably cheated - you are not a lifetime couple - get over it


I havent cheated and neither had she.....

I cant get over the fact when i asked her, about i cant see myself kissing anyone else and neither can she, but if i ever saw her doing it, it would be easy closure. The fact is am am feeling like turd, i hvae had 2 many sleeping tabs now, going to take some more...i c\nt stopthe pain and dont want to carry on anymore without here,,,, iknow it is pathetic but i am just reacting to loseing the onyl thing i love...first thing tomorrow i am out of here, hopefully never to return, thing is i have cleaned up the house just incase she comes back (idiot, its not happening) and in my head i know she wont be contacting me, and wont notive me gone so i am off, to clear my head and if i faul i just hope i am close to a hospital............. thanks guys but i cant do it anymore

Wish

iTrader: (2)

She needs S P A C E

Give her space, I remember being told that every dog has there day, and its true, All the time you are chasing and make yourself a pain in the **** nothing is going to change.

Make today your new day, Well at least try !
It would seem that you are afloat in self pity.... That will bring no woman back !


I really hope you find your feet quickly, or you will loose her for good.



REMEMBER EVERY DOG HAS THERE DAY.


PS. What happened to the cat ?

TelBoy

I *still* haven't changed my mind.

Scott - i sincerely hope the old maxim that those who talk about it never go through with it is true - don't do anything bloody stupid over this. You won't believe it now, or probably for another 6 months or more, but it really *isn't* worth what you're considering. Get some professional help, this is obviously eating away at you day by day, so DO something about it.

wacky.banana

[QUOTE=Scott Herts]Scott,

You need help, FAST. If your relative is coming to see you then get them to help you. I get the feeling you are contemplating suicide. Now while I can understand why you might be this low would it be fair to all the other people in your life who love you dearly (eg Mum, Dad, siblings, best mates) if you topped yourself?

Its not going to bring her back and in time she will get over you anyway so what would be the point? Think again on those sleeping tablets and avoid them if you can. If you can't, go back to the Doctor and ask to be referred to a counsellor.

Please mate, don't do anything stupid; think of all the people around you whose lives you would devastate if you topped yourself.

Don't do it. PM me if you think I can help and if you want a mobile no you can have mine. I will simply listen and help the best I can.

Think, please. I have never met you but I feel for you. Don't do it, contact me if it will help.

WB

RB170

So let me get this straight, you were pissed off because she stayed out longer than you thought reasonable.

Being married is about trusting each other, if you don't trust her not to fool around then why are you married

Wish

iTrader: (2)

Its gone all quite ?

Come on scott, let us know your Ok

yvette296

well I have decided to try & help these two as I feel that they actually have a chance (with a bit of work)

and hey you men, us laydees are not all bad news you know

mj

edit to say - my original post no longer needed- post by a tosser has now been removed.,

sti-04!!

Just reading through the thread at the moment & i have to personally say from past experience that this is true !!

Went with a girl a few years ago who was basically sh@gging someone else, everytime we went out anywere i was talking to a girl you could see the steam coming from her ears ( i have a lot of girl "friends" who i DONT sh@g)

I all come to a head after say what 8 months when it turned out she was at it with someone else, i had honestly never touched another woman when i was with her, so i couldnt see why she was being unreasonable & jealous when i was speaking to other girls

I can say that i recognise the signs mate

Personally no matter how hard it is, just cut all ties, she is obviously dragging you down & you dont need that your a young guy that given time will get over it.

I must say that your biggest failing was that you were "flirting" with other girls in front of her face, thats just playing games mate

I hope you get it all sorted & just for fun post her number up for some the desperate guys on here

Get it sorted

Stephen

JoanUK300

Scott, are you still around mate?
PM me if you want to talk more privately....if you know what I mean!!!!


Joan.

UK300-199

Ive not read all the pages but if you love her and you want her back apologise to her and bring her back.

And if she still doesnt come back all of us on scoobynet will convince her that u reallydo love her and you have changed.

Scott Herts

Seems like at the moment I am going through phases....

I am at a place in my life i have never been before, know what i want but how do i put it right and guarantee the problem cant happen again??

I have flirted in the past yes but not face to face msn or text, which as my counsellor explained was a coinfidence problem, after the frst session i felt a chang ei didnt want to chat to any other women, i wanted to go home and have fun with the mrs, and when she was back sex life was great!

few days later she is walking out again,,,not wondering to trust me, i spend the next few days having panic attacks etc, dont worry got medication, and using it wisely, for her to think i still want other people is really silly, not that i can change her mind all i can do is reittirate that i am not doing it anymore you are the woman for me, and getting her to take a step back and want to come back to try and work hard at getting round problems that would be there forever unless we work...i dont want this to happen again as much as she doesnt, i am currently recieving advise on her, i just hope it works....saying i keep getting told is that love prevails, if 2 people love each other that much that they are in love, and miss each other when apart, any other issue can be resoluved in time, love will prevail that is what i am hoping for...i am going to have some low days on here guys so please stick withme

gareth123

Jesus. I hope you got your Dad to change the locks.

SCOSaltire

there is nothing wrong with being attracted to someone else
however, there is alot wrong with flirting with someone else.
on the other hand - theres levels of flirting

im not relationship mature enuff to comment really.
however - what i will say is be who u want to be.
this Ali might be the one for u.
or the relationship might have gone this way so that u evolve into a person that is right for a relationship with someone else.
a councilor will not be able to comment on Ali's actions. what he/she can do is comment on aspects of ur personality.
listen to them carefully. im my experience, they are spot on EVERY time.
i am tainted from a past experience. it still makes me feel sick.
it caused lack of trust.
trust in myself i think. theres a gut feeling that things were not right. this gut feeling as been proved time after time.
if I ignore it, then complications can arise just like urs.
then ur personality gets complicated.

so, be who u want to be. trust urself.

Scott Herts

I saw the wife yesterday lunchtime and i felt it went better than expected still no decisions made.

i went home and missed her more and more....i have msn at home and by 6 oclock i was really down i was thinking about self harm (stupid i know) a girl i knew came online and asked if i was alright, and i told her how much i was missing my wife and what i was thining of doing, this girl and i did have a history years ago and she even knows how much i love my wife so nothing owuld ever have happened, i had to get these feelings out to someone as onone else was around and i couldnt get hold of any other mates...

well i went off line cause i was upset talking, i got a text from this girl who said dont do anything stupid, but how down i was i told her that i was thinking about taking all my sleeping tablets and driving up and down the m1 (stupid heh, i know that by reading it now) well in that time of my sleeping a bit, this girl called alot of my friends and in the end it got back to my wife who is more p!ssed off that i got in contact with this girl cause i wanted to get a reaction out of her like i wanted to **** her or something(which is more stupid that me taking my own life)

and basically said that this has made her mind up, she doesnt believe that is why i contacted this girl, and it is over now for sure, that she knows she cant trust me or anything ever again..... this is all over me being alone and feeling like absolute crap, why cant she see the real reasons....i am feeling this way because i want to be with my wife no other.... thing is I think she actually believes it too now, that i want other women, which to be fair to everyone else I AM NOT, i know i am not and everyone on here and every one i talk to actually realise what i would go thorugh to be with this woman, i would nothing to harm her and yes i make a f*ck up last night it was a moment of weakness talking to someone and telling them what i could do with myself....I am not attention seeking i am just really that low..

Can someone tell me here why she doesnt get that?

does anyone on here actually think i would be the way i am if i didnt love her and want her here?