Nigel H

I bought my scoob when I got a family. The Saxo was too small Excellent familiy car a scoob

Jamesemt

LOL that's how I sold it to the missus!!!! Ohh look at the boot - big enough for a Pram AND some shopping

Leslie

Its entirely your choice, when you personally feel it is right. No one else can tell you that,

One thing worth remembering is that the longer you leave it, the more likely that your baby is to have health problems when born.

Les

Mice_Elf

My partner's 28, I'm 30. I'm 3 and a half months pregnant with our first. He's going through exactly the same sorts of worries - whether he'll be a good dad, whether we can afford it etc.

Fact is, we're not filthy rich, but both of us work and lead a more than comfortable lifestyle, running 3 cars, 4 cats and ourselves etc.

For us, we decided to start trying as the relationship was good, it was stable and we figured it was time to add to this. It came along a lot quicker than we expected, but we're both excited, nervous, happy and worried about next May, when it's due.

If you want to start a family and you're in a stable relationship - go for it. Especially as you've got in-laws just round the corner. My folks are 90 odd miles away and my partner's are 130ish miles away. Not exactly child-care friendly!

Muffleman

One of the worst things for me now is going to work and leaving Jake at home. However, my missus sends me a photo everyday, whether it be email or picture phone.

Pics like these make my day a lot brighter I can tell you !




Mushy moment over



Matt

Drunken Bungle Whore

Didn't know you were expecting Mice! Bloody well done!

As for everyone else - wasn't aware kids fitted into any timetable! My parents were potless when I was born - Dad worked in a factory and mum did a part time work as a swimming pool attendant. I had a fabulous childhood - wondering whether they had enough money was a side issue really.

I think people nowadays worry too much about whether they'll have the money when what most kids are lacking is time and attention. Maybe I've been coloured by my up bringing - I always had toys and clothes from charity shops and jumble sales - even at Christmas. (In fact I still get loads of clothes from charity shops even though I have a thumping good job these days!). But that wasn't the point - I had all the love and attention I needed.

As long as you can provide that then the rest can take care of itself.

Brendan Hughes

Oh, BTW, while we're being competitive on who has to be the most independent; my parents are 2.5 hours flying time away, and her mum is about 11 hours flying time away and will need a month's application for a visa. So

Mice - congrats!

weapon69

LOL Brendan. Congrats Mice

I'm completely isolated with my baby and its horrible!! I don't have parents to speak of and my grandmother lives in Bolton whilst i'm in Maidstone I never took into consideration things like childcare, support and a job when baby is here But now he is here, you just have to cope. As DBW says, money isn't everything when having babies but it helps!!

Brendan Hughes

Hmm. My grandmother has got to the stage where she needs about equal attention as a newborn There's a bit of afternoon philosophy for you.

Unselfish edit - Sooz, don't you have some sort of new parents' club, for support or at least a gossip twice a week?

weapon69

There are no mum and baby things that i know of that aren't run by social services and as my health visitor said to me-they attract a certain type of character that i might not get on with lol. what can she mean I'm going to check out the NCT, there might be something there.

Drunken Bungle Whore

I believe the saying goes "Twice a Child, Once a Man" - pretty accurate I'd say!

Brendan Hughes

...but not in your case, I believe

Diesel

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brendan Hughes

My wife, before I met her, had one at 22.

Totally disagree mate!!! My take (having a 15m old monster that makes me laugh and smile 90% of the time) is that I've done all my 'young man' stuff. Had the 2 seater TVR, got my knee down, shagged around etc. Now at an age a little older than you all that is less relevant or important (in fact sounds positively tiring). Having kids in your twenties makes me shudder – I saw the world first without being tied down!!!! Now I have an estate and a cardigan and can cope with fatherhood

D

the moose

There are all sorts of toddler / mother and baby groups, often meeting in church halls and the like. Not all horrendous, though they tended to get a surprise when a bloke turned up with a kid!

NCT is OK, but definitely attracts "a certain type", often to be spotted knitting their own yohourt and tofu. They will, however, be able to put you in contact with local support groups (which is essentially what mother and baby groups are - a place to have a good old moan about life/baby/useless husband etc).

Your doctor's surgery may have information as well.

Personal experience is that getting out of the house with kiddy is really helpful - after a few hours I'd get incredibly frustrated, and that was just at weekends when Mrs Moose wanted time off. She was climbing the walls during the 3-4 months she was off work.

Jen

Can't offer any advice on the thread title...but just had to say -

CONGRATULATIONS MICE!

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

We have 3 boys, its mental, sure maybe I would have a better car, Hi Fi, a disposable income, more sex and go on more holidays but other than that its fun, get to buy all sorts of daft stuff I couldnt otherwise justify and tell me what bloke dosent like to have 3 little copies of their own genetic anomalies running around !

yoza

Dont do it.

Laods of hassle........

Ive had 7 weeks of hell.

They spew up in your car, or on you.

They **** on you.

Pooh on the bed.

Consume your money.

Take over your house.

Reduce your floor space by 50%.

keep you awake.

Pretend to be ill, to worry the **** out of you.

Because of them, you get visitors morning, noon, and night, wanting to play pass the parcell.

Disrupt your social calendar.

Scream every time the footballs on.

Take up all your birds time, so you get no QUALITY time.

Just eat, sleep, scream, and ****........



But he smiled at me yesterday, so I will say its all worth it.

Cant you borrow some, to get the gist of it ?

I'LL HAVE TO GO NOW, THE BABY IS SCREAMING........

MJW

Having kids means a fundamental and irreversible change to your lifestyle that nothing can really prepare you for. From the moment they're born your life ceases to become your own and their future becomes your mission - you truly discover the meaning of life (if you take enough swallows of entonox, even more so)
It is not easy and it is not an exact science. There will be very hard times, but also very rewarding times. There will be many, many times you'll wish you'd had the snip at 17

Yoza has pretty much summed it up in the above post. What he doesn't know is that it gets WORSE !!! Wait till they're trying to cook toast in your DVD player ..

Markus

I used to think I didn't want kids, however, my feelings have changed, and the idea of a family does appeal a lot more than it did a few years ago.

As for worrying about whether you'll be a good dad, I think most blokes go through that. Personally speaking, I think I'd be a very strict, but fair, father, just like my dad. I'll admit I've had a very charmed upbrining, and I'd love to give my kids the same thing, and more.

Take a look at most 'chavs' and see how good they are as parents, then think again if you'd be a good father. I think you'll realise that you know right from wrong, have certain values and morals that you'd want your kids to have, and thus, by thinking these things I'd say you'd make a good dad.

I know how I was brought up, and I'd bring my kids up in the same way.

Last, but by no means least. Massive congrats to you and your partner Mice The nipper is going to have a super Mum

Mice_Elf

Didn't mean to detract from the original post, but thank you - Beth, Brendan, Sooz, Jen & Markus.

Jay m A

iTrader: (2)

If you're seriously considering having kids, then you're ready TBH

Everybody thinks to themselves 'but I might be a rubbish dad', its instinctive IMO - to give blokes a natural kick up the **** to do the important things the best you can!

Your life irreversably changes, thats for sure

catherine666

There is no good time to have children, you can always think of an excuse like we have no money, we don't want the responsibility. we love our social lives etc etc....If it happens it happens. I got pregnant when we were married for 3 months now i'm expecting our second. You should sit down and disscuss it. Good luck!

lordharding

iTrader: (1)

If i could start my life over again i would have kids again



Have one ASAP forget money problems etc as your own baby smiling at you was a fantasic experience

Tiredeyes

Like Nike says "just do it"
you might as well, nothing else will make you smile on bad & good days
i had mine at 21 and 25.
my lad is 12 going on 15
my daughter is 8 going on 12
they p1ss you off sometimes, as in one of these posts, when they are babies, but its cool when they start to talk.
make sure you spend time with them, so as you bond with them.
go for it.