Jokes
03 April 2005, 09:45 PM
#91
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Originally Posted by Alan Pastor
I always consider the self-undermining of one's own credability by use of this rhetorical device.
You stupid pr1ck.
03 April 2005, 09:48 PM
#93
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Originally Posted by JohnCochrane
I consider that if you are going to spell one word correctly it had best be 'credibility' otherwise you'll have none.
You stupid pr1ck.
You stupid pr1ck.
03 April 2005, 09:52 PM
#95
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Hello John. May I introduce you to Alan?
We've only just met ourselves, but he is a charming fellow I'm sure you'll agree.
We've only just met ourselves, but he is a charming fellow I'm sure you'll agree.
03 April 2005, 09:55 PM
#97
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Originally Posted by AntiPastor
Hello John. May I introduce you to Alan?
We've only just met ourselves, but he is a charming fellow I'm sure you'll agree.
We've only just met ourselves, but he is a charming fellow I'm sure you'll agree.
03 April 2005, 09:56 PM
#98
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As long as it doesn't interfere with his public life, it has no bearing on his role as an SN username. No-one should be ashamed to say they are gay in this day and age. Right John.
03 April 2005, 10:03 PM
#101
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Originally Posted by Alan Pastor
Hello John, pleased to meet you. May I introduce you to ourself?
I am in fact Alan's doppelganger. I'm from a parallel reality to that which you will be familiar with, but I'm here to help.
03 April 2005, 10:06 PM
#102
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Yes, something with which you will be more than familiar with. Give my regards to everyone, and your face.
04 April 2005, 08:38 AM
#107
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A Scotsman walks into a bakers shop, points to a cake on display and says "Is that a sponge finger or a meringue ?". The baker replies "No, you're quite right, it's a sponge finger."
04 April 2005, 09:22 AM
#109
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Originally Posted by Stiff
Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two women and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again! One, two, three, uh," all night long. In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?" The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection."The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't even get on the bed."
thats just a topper 
:
04 April 2005, 11:57 AM
#112
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Originally Posted by custard puddle
Darth Vadar: 'I know what you've got for your birthday, Luke'
Luke Skywalker: 'Yeah, how?'
Darth Vadar: 'I have felt your presents'
hows that for a starter?
Luke Skywalker: 'Yeah, how?'
Darth Vadar: 'I have felt your presents'
hows that for a starter?
ROTFnot heard that one since 1983...
04 April 2005, 07:40 PM
#115
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irish bloke goes for a job interview at a stable.
man: hello, i take it your here for the job. have you ever shoed a horse before?
irish man : No, but i told a donkey to fvck off once
man: hello, i take it your here for the job. have you ever shoed a horse before?
irish man : No, but i told a donkey to fvck off once
04 April 2005, 07:48 PM
#117
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another irishman went for a job, but on a building site:
"can you make tea?"
"oh yes, oi make a lovely brew"
"can you drive a JCB?"
"be-jayus, how bigs the fcukin kettle?"
"can you make tea?"
"oh yes, oi make a lovely brew"
"can you drive a JCB?"
"be-jayus, how bigs the fcukin kettle?"
04 April 2005, 09:53 PM
#118
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Originally Posted by Stiff
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help.
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
04 April 2005, 10:20 PM
#119
Bloke goes to doctor and says" Doc you gotta help me. While I was on holiday i got shagged by an African Bull Elephant." " Goodness says the doctor you'd better show me the damage" Bloke bends over to show his injured backside. "Wow" says the doctor "that looks painful. What I don't understand is that the African elephant has a ***** almost 4 feet long but only the girth of a tin of beans. You're ringpiece has been stretched to the diameter of a dinner plate" " I know" says the bloke...."bast**d fingered me first...."
Last edited by s70rjw; 04 April 2005 at 10:23 PM.
04 April 2005, 10:23 PM
#120
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Originally Posted by custard puddle
Darth Vadar: 'I know what you've got for your birthday, Luke'
Luke Skywalker: 'Yeah, how?'
Darth Vadar: 'I have felt your presents'
hows that for a starter?
Luke Skywalker: 'Yeah, how?'
Darth Vadar: 'I have felt your presents'
hows that for a starter?
Spat me bran flakes onto the keyboard. Tickled me that did.Lee