Luminous

iTrader: (3)

I decided a trip to the rescue centre / vet would be a great idea. As a totally new cat owner, well TBH, totally new pet owner, I thought it best to have a chat about recent events and what could be done.

Previously all I had been able to find out was that "tigger", my ELC, had been given up and needed a new home. There are time limits for these things, as these rescue centres cannot home animals indefinately. Should nobody claim an animal in certain time limit, it is for the chop Poor Tigger had minutes to live when I came across him. The vetinary nurse who was looking after him was quite fit, and she worked her charms on me.

Tigger looked really cute when she was cuddling him, and I could not help but get images of Walt Disney and Winnie The Poo et al from my head. It seemed an awful shame that nobody wanted him, lucky I had come along. I remember being told at some point that he could be a little fiesty, a point that was neatly inserted into the converstaion after I had been sold on him.

Anyway, the examination went pretty smoothly, and the converstaion ran something along these lines:
There was some blood under one of his paws, that I told the vet belonged to a dog's nose. There was also some strange green like thread stuck around the claws of the other paw...that would part of my pond net.
"Ah yes, I remember this one, he can be a bit of a handful"
"Errrrr, handful? You know him then?"
"Oh yes, the previous owners gave him up because they could not cope with him. You were told this, right?"
"Er, no"

There were then a few more exchanges between myself and the vet. One of them being:
"But he is called Tigger, thats after those nice tame creatures from Whinne the Poo, right?
"Yes"
"But, well, they are all nice. How come he is called Tigger?"
A wry smile appeared on his face...."Irony sir"
"Great..."

After more chatting, the vet takes sympathy on me and hands me a small paperback book on looking after cats. I stand there holding this book desperately trying not to say "Well this is no good, I've thrown much bigger and heavier things at him already. They didn't work ,why should this?"

I talk over my meal time problems, previous attempts to solve them (he starts chuckling at this point) and what I am planning....he keeps smiling. He agrees that the water spray method may be sufficient, but not to give up if that fails.

Then his beutiful assitant walks in, this would be the assistant that convinced me to take on this feline 9 days ago. Overhearing my grumbles, she chips in saying "See, I told you he was a little fiesty".

"Fiesty!!, a little FIESTY!!! Is that how you would describe a mole that could tunnel its way to Australia !!"

"Errr," she says, "well he can be quite active."
"QUITE!"
Sensing that she is going to lose this conversation, she just smiles sweetly. Did I mention that she was fit?

Anyway, it was then time to go back home to try the water method. One thing for certain is that Tigger is now longer Tigger, he is being renamed to Ra, as he is most definately possessed by a Goa'uld (Stargate fans should know why).

Hopefully this water spray technique was going to allow me to upgrade Ra from being an ELC (Evil Little Critter) to being a CFC (Cute Furry Creature) also known as a BPM (Bird Pulling Machine) , something that my Scoobie is not

Markus

Personally think he should be renamed to Baal or Anubis, slightly more potent than Ra, then again, Wraith might be better, seeing as it's sucking the life force from you

I'm still not convinced this is not just a wind up and a story telling. A picture of said evil creature would be good, but then I guess he's too quick for you to be able to take a picture of.

If I had this much trouble with a cat I'd send it back to the rescue center.

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

If I get it into a situation where I can take a picture of it, it is not going to be happy

I think a photo could be in order shortly

Cyberevo

iTrader: (1)

Put a load of chopped up green chillis and red birds eye chillis on your plate and the cat will not come back again once it's grabed a mouth full of them.

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

Neither will I !!!!

Lee247

Story telling or not, i've enjoyed reading it.
Have you tried the water yet Luminous?

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

I've got a bit behind typing up what has been happening. The vet's was yesterday evening, since then I have had an evening meal and a lunch time to try out my various water sprays.

The vet had given me some moral support, so I was feeling quite positive about all of this now. The Argons monster seemed to be overkill, after all, it was several times bigger than my cat.....

I filled up the flower spray, and the water pistol. Then I set about cooking dinner. Ra was already around "hunting" long before I actually started cooking anything...must be meal time then.....

Ra never came in range during the cooking stage, he never does. After all, there is no point is there? The food is too hot to eat, and not cooked yet. Plus its not going to p*ss me off so much as taking it from my plate just when I'm trying to eat it!!

Food prepared, this was it, this was then time to see if I could finally consume a whole meal. Fork in one hand spray gun in the other, I started to eat. Hahahaha, I can hear the kitty creeping up, I ignore it. Its getting closer and closer, I make sure that I do not look at it. Oh boy, what a surprise it is going to get

I'm almost twitching in anticipation, the cat is almost in range. Woohoo, revenge is going to be mine The scrabbling of paws is heard as it makes it move....BLAM....right in face.....a full burst from the spray. Oh yeah, take that Ra reverses course instantly, shoots off the table and into the corner Who told me how to do this?? God you are good

My euphoria lasts for about 5 seconds as I see Ra making another move. No problem, I'm ready. BLAM..BLAM...BLAM....and again, at least 5 full blasts into its face. It winces, moans, whines and hisses Not a happy kitty, but, its not retreating. Its still standing there on the table, wet and p*ssed off.

The atomiser is clearly not enough. It merely creates a mist of water, and has insufficient range. No matter, the water pistol is nearby for just this problem. I nail him, again and again. Off he goes into the corner. He makes another run for the food...I blast him...CRACK....cheapo water pistol just broke. Great

I'm left with a soggy table, soggy moggie, soggy dinner, water dribbling off the table and water up the far wall. And a cracked water pistol peeing water all down my arm inside my fleece.

I'll have him tomorrow The water clearly works, when he gets hit, he stops, he will learn to give up

Next day, lunchtime
I resisted the temptation to go to Burger King, I needed to reinforce my training. The water pistol was FUBARED, so it was the super soaker and the flower spray again. The spray should be enough, but I was almost itching for it not to be. I had a certain desire to see moggie on the end of a full blast from it, am I mean ? or just evil

Ra seemed not to have learned anything from yesterday, other than the flower spray was pretty useless. He barely seemed bothered by it. It was just enough to stop him from getting to the plate, but he just kept coming back time after time after time after time after time after time after time.....

I got p*ssed off with him, so nailed him with the supersoaker. Boy does this thing kick ****. A massive jet shot out of it, took Ra straight off his feet and propelled him into the corner of the room, Muhahahahha Moggie squirming in a pool of water in the corner of the room

While this may be entertaining to do once, it was clearly a tactic that could not be repeated. A deluge of that magnitude has consequences. I have nearly as much electronics as a Dixons store, and will all this water flying around it was only a matter of time before I was going to suffer a meltdown.

Lunch was ruined, just like last night's dinner. Soggy and cold by the time this was finished. Ra got none, but it was not for lack of trying. Clearly something else was going to have to be done.

As I am typing this in retrospect, clearly I know what happened this evening
All I am going to say is that 1) it worked 2) I have the photos
I'll write up soon, but tbh, I'm too busy gloating over Ra

FlexiRob

PMSL

I sympathise with you completely.
I got a cat from WoodGreen near Huntingdon but had to return it in the end (about 6 months)kept crapping and pi$$ing all over the house including in the middle of the living room right in front of me .

They treat me like $hite when i returned her, not interested what i was telling them about her, was trying to give them some history as they had absolutely nothing.

Personally i'm sure she had been kicked around by her previous owners

I ended up with 2 kittens from the Cats Protection League.
I will never get another adult cat from anywhere.

Persevere with the water spray just get one you can adjust from spray to jet

Oh by the way the cat DOESN'T live with you, YOU live with the cat

Lee247

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

All I can say is...its too late for that

NOW someone tells me this !! IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN

Scoob99

iTrader: (1)

This Reminds me of the story that Jasper Carrott tells his cat was a pyscopathe and the kids called him lolipop
Cheers
Colin

suprabeast

i havent read any of the posts above.,. but my advice is that dead cats can't annoy you

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

But you cannot shave dead cats and laugh at them

FlexiRob

Come on tell us more

scoob_babe

pmsl at this. Nearly managed to run over a neigbour's cat (also Tigger!) in our driveway this morning as our own ELC decided to charge at it from over the fence.
Don't eat any Chinese food with your cat around though - ours go mad if there's crispy duck anywhere in the house and attach themselves to us to get to it!!

SJ_Skyline

Is it a hunting cat?


for the uneducated

Neanderthal

iTrader: (6)

LMAO @ this thread, instead of water, try vinegar (might be best to water it down to start with)

boxst

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

Awwwww....poor kitty

CrisPDuk

not coming to your house then

Hanley

Here ***** *****

Markus

Cats, the other, other, other white meat

Hanley

This thread kept me amused all day yesterday

Was hoping for an upate today

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

Sorry peeps. I've been slacking, or rather I have been rather unwell for the last couple of days. Previously I've written up with a positive mental attitude, makes it all the more amusing. Atm, I'm struggling to find that. Don't worry it will come, it has to, I took a pic of him

Lee247

Come on Luminous, I need my ELC update

BlkKnight

/bump

i need my daily fix

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

I like it...no get well soon message. Just get on with it to keep you happy.

You are a tough crowd

OllyK

Sheeesh! Hope you're feeling better Now get on with the story already

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

Off Topic:

Btw - is there any way to see those images directly in your post. I hate having to click a link to see a little smiley, it spoils the effect. On most other forums images are shown automatically regardless where they are linked to, its only pages you have to click on.

On Topic:
Update scheduled for this afternoon.

OllyK

Yes use the [ img ] and [ /img ] tags (without the spaces). Just place the URI to the image file between.