Think I may have got somebody pregnant...
17 May 2005, 12:43 PM
#32
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22, have girlfriend who i try and do at least once a day (for her benefit )
Also have a 'close friend' who I pop round to see 2/3 times a week
Chopper
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Close friend up the duff ............ girlfriend will certainly feel the benefit!!
From 2 lovers down to none with bills for nappies
Oh Dear, what a pity
Good luck!
Pete
Also have a 'close friend' who I pop round to see 2/3 times a week
Chopper
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Close friend up the duff ............ girlfriend will certainly feel the benefit!!
From 2 lovers down to none with bills for nappies
Oh Dear, what a pity
Good luck!
Pete
17 May 2005, 12:46 PM
#34
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Been there, done that got the t-shirt :)
Originally Posted by scoobychick
Tell her exactly what you've said there ^, be honest and talk to her, ask her how she feels, tell her how you feel but again, be honest. Ultimately though she will make the decision as to whether she goes ahead with the pregnancy or not. The best you can do is be there for her whichever option she chooses.
I was in a similar position about 2 yrs ago. With some less than straight forward circumstances too. Two years on:
I'm not saying this is right for you... talking and being honest with eachother is the only way to know.
There was talk from people at work (she was my bosses secretary
) and from our family. No one knew we were seeing eachother, and neither of our families had met the other party... and there were other more complicated circumstances that I will not post... But it is your and her decision and no one elses. And ultimately, if people can not support your choice, whatever it is, tough! Good luck
17 May 2005, 01:37 PM
#37
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Originally Posted by Mice_Elf
Are you absolutely certain that she is pregnant? Has she told you that she is or are you assuming based on something you've heard or read into?
Doing the forementioned test today.
17 May 2005, 01:50 PM
#39
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wait until you know for sure if she is pregnant before deciding/doing anything!!
i have a 2 year old who was "unwanted" when i fell pregnant, only been with my chap 6 months, got caught out by antibiotics and the pill combo!!... saying he was unwanted dosnt really ring true, just he was unplanned... after the initial shock and different conversations about termination and keeping the baby etc, we decided to keep, neither one of us could live with ourselves if we had terminated.. we told respected families, who also although shocked left it to us as to what to do etc, and supported us all the way...
when our son was born, on that very day, our lives changed forever, but nothing... NOTHING would make either one of us go back to our lives before him... we have had our hard times, after all the relationship was very young when a baby came into it making 3...but we have come through, all of us together, and we are a happy united family... when it comes to our son we are both comitted and united on what we want for him.
my partner struggled like hell with coming to terms with being a parent when i was expectiing, but he dealt with it well, and i have never met a more loving, comitted and excellent father before... how far advanced my boy is is mainly down to his dad, teaching him, playing with him and being a constant guide in his life, but most of all because although he wasnt wanted before he entered this world, the moment he did enter this world he couldnt of been wanted any more or loved any more by anyone other than us, his mum and dad.
i wish you all the best in what ever you decide to do, things happen sometimes for a reason, sometimes not, but thats life... all i know is both me and my partner were not "ready" for children.... but once he had been born we were more ready and prepared than either of us ever realised.
i have a 2 year old who was "unwanted" when i fell pregnant, only been with my chap 6 months, got caught out by antibiotics and the pill combo!!... saying he was unwanted dosnt really ring true, just he was unplanned... after the initial shock and different conversations about termination and keeping the baby etc, we decided to keep, neither one of us could live with ourselves if we had terminated.. we told respected families, who also although shocked left it to us as to what to do etc, and supported us all the way...
when our son was born, on that very day, our lives changed forever, but nothing... NOTHING would make either one of us go back to our lives before him... we have had our hard times, after all the relationship was very young when a baby came into it making 3...but we have come through, all of us together, and we are a happy united family... when it comes to our son we are both comitted and united on what we want for him.
my partner struggled like hell with coming to terms with being a parent when i was expectiing, but he dealt with it well, and i have never met a more loving, comitted and excellent father before... how far advanced my boy is is mainly down to his dad, teaching him, playing with him and being a constant guide in his life, but most of all because although he wasnt wanted before he entered this world, the moment he did enter this world he couldnt of been wanted any more or loved any more by anyone other than us, his mum and dad.
i wish you all the best in what ever you decide to do, things happen sometimes for a reason, sometimes not, but thats life... all i know is both me and my partner were not "ready" for children.... but once he had been born we were more ready and prepared than either of us ever realised.
17 May 2005, 01:56 PM
#40
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Originally Posted by ajm
I disagree... there are very few problems that wouldn't benefit from a reduction in the number of human beings on our little island.
The moral side of it is a different matter though, and largely down to personal opinion...
Obviously I would prefer to terminate a more worthy adult and let the baby have a chance, but abortion at 30 yrs old isn't legal!
The moral side of it is a different matter though, and largely down to personal opinion...
Obviously I would prefer to terminate a more worthy adult and let the baby have a chance, but abortion at 30 yrs old isn't legal!
I was told out of the blue, "I'm Pregnant" and at the time i thought it sounded fantastic, so i cuddled her and said thats great news.....WRONG THING TO SAY, turns out she felt she wasnt ready for a kid, so by saying what i did, was the turning point in our relaitionship, cause she then felt that i wanted it and even though i said i would back her up whatever the decision she wanted, she felt that i basically was calling her a baby killer, lasted 5 months after the abortion.
Just choose the words carefully, but also remember that if she terminates, she will always have it in the back of her mind that she could have been a Mum, and she will regret it many times over the rest of her life what she has done and was it the right decision, you can only support and get back to basics..
We all know the Pill fails and condoms fail as well(96% effective apparantly, ARGGHHH) life puts things in front of you, and you just have got to be able to try and work through it.
I wish you all the best mate, F***ing horrible situation to be in, when everything is up in the air.
Scotty
17 May 2005, 02:30 PM
#42
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Chopper - talk to her, ask her how she feels, tell her how you feel, honestly, then decide between you what you want to do. Only you two can decide - Good luck 
17 May 2005, 02:34 PM
#43
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Originally Posted by andrewdelvard
Then let me rephrase.
You know that car that you've always wanted?
Heelllooo Daddy!
You know that car that you've always wanted?
Heelllooo Daddy!
Back on subject: Only way you will ever sort this out is by talking to her and finding out how you both feel about it.
17 May 2005, 02:46 PM
#44
Originally Posted by angel-eyes
Chopper - talk to her, ask her how she feels, tell her how you feel, honestly, then decide between you what you want to do. Only you two can decide - Good luck
▲▲▲ What she said! Good luck!
A very apt name under the circumstances though Chopper!
18 May 2005, 09:20 AM
#46
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If she is pregnant you need to discuss all the options available with her and discuss termination last.
Good luck with it all
Good luck with it all
18 May 2005, 09:23 AM
#47
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Everyone is talking about termination like its the worst thing ever, if she's only just pregnant then you need to decide quickly what to do. If its her first pregnancy though, its unlikely she'll get rid.
Hope it turns out ok, for the baby's sake not yours.
Hope it turns out ok, for the baby's sake not yours.
18 May 2005, 12:31 PM
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Originally Posted by chopper.
Did the test together last night - negative.
Still very worried though as she was sick again this morning.
chopper
Still very worried though as she was sick again this morning.
chopper
18 May 2005, 01:00 PM
#53
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Originally Posted by chopper.
Did the test together last night - negative.
Still very worried though as she was sick again this morning.
chopper
Still very worried though as she was sick again this morning.
chopper
18 May 2005, 02:06 PM
#54
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Originally Posted by chopper.
Did the test together last night - negative.
Still very worried though as she was sick again this morning.
chopper
Still very worried though as she was sick again this morning.
chopper
How far along is she and what type of test did you use?
Digital ones tend to be less sensitive than analogue ones so if her period is not yet late, then it might still show as negative.
If sickness is her only symptom, then suggest she also books an appt with her GP as it could be completely unrelated.
18 May 2005, 04:30 PM
#55
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Probably coming in a bit late here (no pun intended), but I'll stick my oar in
Firstly, make sure she is actually pregnant, and she's not just ill, or not having some kind of sick joke at your expense. If she has taken a pregnancy and it's positive, go to the GP to double check. If it's negative but you're unsure, maybe suggest she goes to the GP anyway, seeing as she's not that well at the moment. Best to make totally sure.
If she is pregnant, well, both of you sit down and discuss all the options, and that does include termination. Even if she has previously stated she'd never have a termination, still discuss it as it's all good and well saying it when you're not unexpectedly pregnant, but when you find yourself in that position, things seem a whole lot different.
There's no point dwelling on the fact that either of you could have been more careful (it takes two to tango as they say), hindsight is a wonderful thing, so ignore any comments from people saying "you should have worn a condom, or made sure she was on the pill". Who is to say you were not using a condom and it split? you never said, so we can only speculate.
Anyway, test and talk and I hope it all works out for the best, regardless of what you both decide.
Firstly, make sure she is actually pregnant, and she's not just ill, or not having some kind of sick joke at your expense. If she has taken a pregnancy and it's positive, go to the GP to double check. If it's negative but you're unsure, maybe suggest she goes to the GP anyway, seeing as she's not that well at the moment. Best to make totally sure.
If she is pregnant, well, both of you sit down and discuss all the options, and that does include termination. Even if she has previously stated she'd never have a termination, still discuss it as it's all good and well saying it when you're not unexpectedly pregnant, but when you find yourself in that position, things seem a whole lot different.
There's no point dwelling on the fact that either of you could have been more careful (it takes two to tango as they say), hindsight is a wonderful thing, so ignore any comments from people saying "you should have worn a condom, or made sure she was on the pill". Who is to say you were not using a condom and it split? you never said, so we can only speculate.
Anyway, test and talk and I hope it all works out for the best, regardless of what you both decide.
