amazinggrace

This kind of thing should be a warning to everyone else. Don't get involved with people you work with. Fair enough socialise but private dinners and relationships are going to far.

joni

I am betting a fair few Scoobynet marriages were conceived at work
I think the warning should be, "Don't get involved with married people at work"?

Brendan Hughes

During your week off, try to get in contact with this girl. Swap stories.

Between the professional allegations of harrassment, and your concern for his marriage if his wife were to find out, you should get some results.

Not sure you'd be so lucky with an industrial tribunal if you've only been there a year.

princessyin

Can't married people be friends? and can't work colleague be friends? I can't help it if i'm a friendly outgoing and sociable person and my manager is now proving to be a complete ****.

SJ_Skyline

8 weeks to go, 2? of them on holiday....

I would keep your head down and stay out of the moron's way and put it down to experience when you move on.

brihoppy

its not your fault...like you said yourself, with the benefit of hindsight you mightve acted differently, and possibly will in the future...but you should always consider the consequences of what you do...did you never honestly think there mightve been something slightly inappropriate in some of the things you did...especially when you consider his none too discreet motives and behaviour...

just deal with it however you feel best and put it down to experience...

unfortunately, as innocent as your intentions were, not everyone is as genuine as you...

paulr

Of course they can,but going to dinner with your boss.....oh dear,thats asking for trouble.

Scumbag

Are you sure you're not reading too much into it?

I'm not trying to dismiss what is happening, but this sounds so much like a misunderstanding to me. I've seen this kind of thing lots of times when there is a bit of jealousy in the air. He's probably just been a bit off, as he probably did fancy you, and he had this 'dream' of illicit sex with a (younger?) employee. Thats been dashed now, so he's a bit hacked off. So probably has been a bit touchy.

That said, dont read too much into it...I've only skimmed through the posts above, but it doesnt seem to be anything outrageous that he's done (the pay could have easily been a mistake). And you know what office gossip is like for talking about previous employees and what they said or did (which is 90% of the time complete rubbish)

Best course of action is just to have a quick word with him, tell him that you are sorry you are seeing someone else, but you have your life to lead, and there was nothing between them other than a friendship. A pound to a pinch of salt, he'll say sorry, and things,if not back to normal will be better for the air being cleared.

Under NO account escalate it higher up without having a quiet word with him...the number of friendships that break down over something that gets mis-interpreted by both parties is unbelievable. I've had both my cousin and his wife crying on my shoulder about how awful the other is, all over misunderstandings that escalate. Both of them would pass lie-detector tests, and both of them are wrong.

Hope it works out OK for you
SB

vindaloo

IMO you've got to stand up to him. I'm sure it can be done quietly or at least started off quietly.

If he's underpaid you then you need to do something about it. Have you complained and is the matter being resolved?

If he continues to be an ****, gather all the evidence together (credit card receipts from Restaurants etc, text messages) and send them to his wife and his boss the day after you leave, together with a well written description of how he's tried to make your lives a misery.

J.

LeeMac

iTrader: (1)

Its a strange situation, im sure ive had bullying at work at some point and have deffinately witnessed it but its hard to say anything because its seems it can be defended

there should be a 'Stop bullying at work' badge or T shirt

thats like saying something without pointing the finger, preventing backlash.

Luan Pra bang

The pay could have been a mistake and the sort of thing above really pisses me off when people try to do it. It brings personal involvments into work and long term causes problems. Having lunches same time, hollidays same time etc etc. I tell people simply that I set hours they work and they can ask if they need them to be changed
but it will need to be a good reason not some bullsh*t out wanting to spend time with boyfriend. I would tell you straight that your hours are your hours and I don't give a **** about boyfriends it should not interfear with how you work.

princessyin

Update: Didn't speak to manager. Spoke to boyfriend and he advised me to hold out til my holiday. He's been much more friendly and jokey again this and i knew something was up........

Anyway on Mon he spoke to me about the there's not enough work to warrant me being there full time. He's offered me a part time position of 25 hours per week with no lodge payments. Let me give you some backround information- i live in Southampton and work in Sheffield. Because i work away from home i get a daily tax-free allowance for accomodation. This equates to approx £285 per week on top of my salary. Now this offer he's tabled, i would work 5 hours per day 5 days a week, and my pay would be approx £250 per week. He's found out that i've moved in with my boyfriend in Sheffield but working 5 days would not change the fact i'd still have to pay £200 in rent every month. Also i travel to and from home which costs me £60 in petrol every week. Doing the sums it just wouldnt be worth my while to work away from home. Also, this has come at a time when i'm a week or so off my 1 years service with the co. Is my manager right in saying because of this i don't need any notice from the company? Also, does count that i started temping with this company 8 months before they signed me up?

Its obvious to me he's still miffed at my relationship, and he's pushing me out. DO i have any come back????

shaunywrx

I'm not to sure about the one year service (not needing any notice), but without a doubt, if you leave, you'll have a very strong claim for constructive dismissal, my best advice is to speak to CAB, i've had to do this in the past, and they are very helpful and knowledgable, also, they will make a written report of your circumstances which can be used in any further actions, should it be neccesary. Like i said, i really would urge you to speak to CAB, it will help to put your mind at rest, and give you some accurate information as to your rights within your contract.

Redkop

If the temping only finished recently, he could well be right, if your wages were paid by the agency you were temping for. IIRC it counts for nothing if your employment is less than 13 weeks to get any rights.

Scumbag

Good advice

Probably comes down to the the question - "Is there enough work?". This is something you have to answer honestly, not subjectively. If the answer is "yes", then he is singling you out. If there is no reason other than your relationship for this, then you have a good case. make an appointment with CAB

Redkop

You could always look on this site for information ACAS. It is very informative and is an organisation devoted to preventing and resolving employment disputes.

Luan Pra bang

consturctive dismissal does not exist unless you have been somewhere for 1 year. That does not include temp time.


He does have to give you notice of a change of hours and a written letter stating your new hours and why they have changed but there is no set time for this it could be a week or two or a month. Best bet is to enquire about the company grevance procedure and make threats about sexual harassment claims. The trouble is that unless you have been somewhere for a year you are entitled to very little.

princessyin

Yes he knows that hence the timing. He's been smart and calculating. Don't want to stay any longer, but had i been there a year i'd have to go through a consultation period of up to 4 weeks before he could make me redundant

Luan Pra bang

He does sound like a tosser but the best you can do is leave then send a letter to his boss explaining the whole situation as is on here and mention his behavior with previous staff members. Mention everything you can then wait for a response. At least you can let as many people in the company know what the situation is. The trouble you may have is getting rid of a staff member who gets £280.oo for accomodation per week can only help the books look better

Redkop

He has you over a barrel, so to speak and I can't see that you will come out a 'winner' in this situ unfortunately.

princessyin

yeh i've conceded defeat and to be honest i'd be happy to leave. had enough of the games, its been getting me down too long already

princessyin

hmmm..... just had interesting conversation with our HR manager, he seems to think what my manager is improper and how i should have a private meeting with him to discuss the situation further.....

the moose

Sounds to me like sexual discrimination. You don't need to be there for a year, nor, I think, do you need to be a permanent employee for this to apply.

Either way, a good HR department should listen and act accordingly. And your manager's manager should provide some muscle if necessary.

It's unacceptable behaviour in my book, and if I had someone in a managerial position working for me who acted in this way they'd have a very limited future with the company.

princessyin

The HR manager has got our UK project manager and company lawyer involved in the issue, they all agree that no redundancy letters are to be issued as they is more work involved. Manager's had a big slap on the wrist, as obvisously they think i could bring a case against the company??

Wish

iTrader: (2)

You go Girl......... Lets be waving him off site.

Brendan Hughes

Good call! "So, would you have treated a male employee in the same way if you'd found he'd been dating this man?"

scrappydoo

Just as you leave tell him you have got engaged. smirk and walk out. That should give him somehting to think about.. Git!!

TruthHurts

Use a dictaphone and record the creep. If possible try to lead him on without being suggestive, you know the sort of thing, like the police do in interrogations.
Next hit the coont and the company for a big fat wad of money for sexual harrasment and constructive dismissal. Bury this toerag, ruin his life and get a big fat pay out. ******* creep deserves worse than that.

HkTypeR

oops

princessyin

Update: Was called by the HR manager on Friday and told not to come into work today. He has called me again this morning, the project is due to finish end of oct and they're goin to come up with a redundancy package and i will not have to go back into office. Result! Glad to see back of the d!ck