gingerboy

I will more than likely get lynched for this but in defence of Talizman let me put a different slant on claiming benefits / getting the most from the sysem.

No doubt several members have a company car as well as their subaru or are really lucky and have their suabaru as a company motor which is either leased by the company they work for or funded by an company car opt out scheme.

If it is the latter they more than likely also receive mileage allownace at a pre determined rate - the goverment guide line is 40p per mile for the 1st 10,000 miles. However if your employer pays under the goverment guide line you can claim back a % of the difference. So for example you receive 25p per mile and cover 20,000 miles - you can receive tax relief on a shortfall of £1500.

So I ask the question how many company car drivers or opted out parties do this and would we be considered scroungers for claiming what is available to us??

Is Talizman really so in the wrong to ask what he & his family are entitled to - personally I don't think so but I'm sure I will get it in the neck anyway.

I have 2 children both under 3 - er indoors works for the NHS so gets a good paternity leave package but even so we saved like buggery to ensure she could have an additional 2 months off once said benefits ceased. No benefits for childcare due to our earnings so the £800 per month for both nippers to have 3days in nursery is steep but I feel worth it, the wife has 2 days at home with the kids which is great and whilst in nursery they interact, learn and develop the required social skills for later life.

Congrats on the new arrival Talizman, hope fully all will work out in the future - have you considered contacting ctizens advice for unbiased impartial advice?? May be worth a try.

GB

supna

A lot of snobs on here, I am a recent dad and its worth every minute. You get by. Your life will change but for the better.

YOU will manage and even if it means selling the scoob to getting something practical for a year then do it. You can always get another one later, its only a car. Think about when she is off looking after the baby she won't be commuting to work so savings there already.

If you have two cars do you need both? Agree with a lot of the positive comments on here regarding childcare and part time and also not scrimping on the baby seat. Its just downright unfortunate that her company is only offering 9 weeks 90% pay then nothing after. Double check this and dont forget for the nine weeks she will also be getting her Stat maternity pay also so save this for when the 90% pay ends.

Also Breast feed as long as possible not because it will help little un but will save a small fortune in formula. Besides the first 3 months fly past so damned quick. Just my two pence worth.

OllyK

This just hi-lights how messed up the system is. The "nanny" state breeds this kind of free loading.

Example 1 - we have pretty much this covered already.
Example 2 - benefits for upto 12 months, for any children they had before the long term sick. Nothing for any children after. If they fail to provide, the kids are taken in to care and put up for adoption.

It may be harsh, but a similar approach in the US saw teenage "Chav" and scrounger pregnancies drop like a stone overnight - I wonder why?

imlach

Also please note that once she's back at work, it's not simple either

Putting a baby into nursery can be up to £40/day (more typically £30-35). That's £9-10k per year if using a nursery full time (more than private school fees!).

Have you factored in yet what you'll do for childcare IF she goes back to work? If she's only earning, say, £20k gross full time, £10k of it swallowed by childcare, and net, that leaves you around £6k or £500/month to play with.

However, as someone else said, in the first few months, expenditure should be minimal. Clothes can be got from friends/relatives as can equipment. Costs pennies to run a baby if you do it right.

OllyK

I get a car allowance. I get 12p per mile, I don't claim the difference.

He is entitled to the benefits that the government offer. I think those benefits are over generous. In his opening post he was complaining that they weren't going to make up for the shortfall in his wife's salary. It struck me that there had been no thought or planning given to the pregnancy and that he was not too interested in adjusting his expenditure to match the income they would have, rather he was looking for handouts to make up the defecit. If that's not the case, and there has been some unforseen event, then I apologise, but that's how the OP reads.

OllyK

Again, somebody else who thought out what was involved and what sacrifices they would have to make to have a child without donning the burberry.

cookstar

iTrader: (6)

This i agree with you 100%, it would stop the people that ABUSE the system that create this stigma around having a little help to get started.

The F1 point was pure tosh though

davegtt

Congrats on the child btw, hope your looking forward too it

Must admit though people should be grateful theyre getting something when you have a child. why should you get anything???? anything you do get is a bonus and I can understand people wanting to get it but I think its the way you worded your opening message basically moaning about it all.....

imlach

Yes, I think this sentence did the damage.......

State benefits are NOT in place to make up differences to full working salaries. They are there to enable a person to survive a basic existence - ie, enough food/water/clothing/heat to survive. Not to live in the luxurious style you WERE accustomed to.

Drunken Bungle Whore

Still - at least all you fine men don't have to loose your career and any form of social respect when you start a family do you?


Being a mother simply isn't a respected profession any more. "What do you do?" "I'm a full time mum" pretty much kills conversation.

Many women earn more than their partners so it's often more than 50% of the income that goes. How many House Husbands do we have in here?

Many women can't afford to stay off work and end up handing their child over to a child minder while they try and continue some sort of career. People at work get p1ssed off with them when they need time off for kids being sick etc and instead of a nice relaxing glass of wine at the end of the day they have to look after the kids. They live with the perpetual guilt of not being there enough - and many of them aren't lucky enough to have partners who are more than happy to hand over 1/2 their salary to support them.

Some of you are fortunate enough to earn good salaries, but that gives you abolsutely no right whatsoever to look down on people who haven't be able to afford to save up for kids - or who need support to bring up their kids.

Comparing spongers who have never worked and have 6 kids claiming £35k a year off the state with hard working couples making tough decisions isn't really fair.

Just be glad that as blokes you really don't have quite such a tough choice to make when it comes to having kids.

imlach

Exactly what my wife says.
The father's life doesn't change much post-baby. The mother's does HUGELY.

gingerboy

Do you not claim the difference through choice or because you were unaware that you were able to? I also receive 12p and whilst the allownace from HM Customs and Excise is not a great deal it does make a difference, there are lots of benefits available that either employers do not brief employees on or the goverment does not advertise - no doubt some of us will know the ins and outs of all tax benefits available and others with similair jobs / packages will be unaware of them and be missing out. Lets face it non of us are adverse to saving a few pounds here and there.

I know where you are coming from regarding planning etc of a child but surerly without all the facts its is difficult to make an unbiased reply - ultimatly we will all have our own view on this subject.

He and his wife don't sound like spongers (not that you implied that) - just like they would like to know what is available, lets face it they have both worked since leaving school rather than rely on the state. Maybe the panic has set in but I am sure that whatever happens they will adjust and manage one way or another as we all do when faced with such a massive change to circumstances.

GB

Diablo

If men were physially capable of giving birth then your statement would have some relevance DBW, but they don't.

If anything my wife an I are seen as the odd ones because we choose not to.

And who's fault is that? If it wasn't for all the women who feel so strongly about keeping that career after having children then I'm sure being a full time mum would be more respected (as it should be) than doing it by halves.

All the men I know, personally and professionally have no disrespect whatsoever for full time mums. Its the women with chips on their shoulders that do.

And that is something that should be taken into account when deciding to have a child in the first place.

So don't have them in the first place. Its hardly rocket science, is it?


I don't see anyone looking down on anyone - just suggesting that a bit of financial thought beforehand would be appropriate

The original poster has (or had) a fair amount of cash invested in cars and bikes and yet is now complaining about being unable to afford his imminant child. A rethink of priorities would appear to be in order.

Really? A child should be equally relevant to both parties in the realtionship. Both should be prepared to accept the changes it will bring. If they don;t, and the woman is having to bear all of the burden of this, then they really shouldn't be having kids in the first place.

davegtt

Well said Diablo, too often women cry for equal rights and sharing things in households equally yet when they get it they moan. Men in 2005 are more than happy to do their share in their childs growing up, I certainly didnt see my dad too much as a kid apart from match days on a saturday nowadays fathers play as much role as the mothers, this is what women have wanted all along and the modern man is more than happy to do it, yet women still complain its THIER burden. Christ what do you want us to do? we've even created test tube babys for you so you dont have to go through the horrid thought of having sex whilst married

talizman

iTrader: (1)

Jeez, what have I started?

Firstly, a genuine thanks to the folks who have saw past the snobbery and given me factual answers to my questions, its appreciated.

Also thank you for the congratulations and kind works too.

Now, as much as it goes against my better judgement to open my personal life to the masses, I will do so, in order to prevent the prejudiced ones amongst us jumping to all sorts of WRONG conclusions about me.

So, was the pregnancy planned?
100%

Were we delighted?
100%

Did we do our homework?
Yes, we earn a combined £52k, which in Scotland is a decent wage, and our standard of living is comfortable, hence we have 2 cars and I have a K4 GSXR600 in the garage, so, yes we can afford a child, even though many are assuming that we can't. We have also planned on making adjustments to our lifestyle to finance the new arrival

Why did I ask the original question?
Well, my wife was misinformed by one of her pregnant colleages that her paternity package was actually more than it turned out to be.
She was wrongly informed that she would receive 90% for 6 weeks, and then revert to half pay for the remaining 20. In reality, she goes onto no wages after 6 weeks, hence the SMP.
This is 100% our fault for relying on the word of others when we should have researched more. I appreciate this and not much can be done about it.

However, the difference now, is that a) my wife will probably resume work earlier than planned, and b) we WILL BE MAKING SACRIFICES!!!

If you care to check on Pistonheads, you'll see my car for sale.
Also, I have a guy at work who wants to buy my bike, so please do not jump to conculsions about us when you don't have the foggiest about us.

Many of our friends paternity packages have consisted of full pay for 6 months and half pay for 6 months so we were truly surprised to learn than my wife's employer was only paying the absolute minimum required by law.

When my wife found this out, her words were "I'll go back to work after 6 weeks". IMO, I think she should be with the child for a much longer period at the crucial bonding stage, especially since we will both be on a steep learning curve being our first.

It was suggested to me that there were benefits open to families in my position, hence I posted the thread.

As for quoting my "Are there any benefits that families are entitled to, to make this paltry sum get even remotely closer to her current salary?
I stand by this.
All I asked was if there were ANY benefits to enhance the SMP, even by a couple of quid as every little helps.
Even £1 per week, would "make the paltry sum get remotely closer to her current salary"

The misinterpretation by many on her emake it sound like I was expecting hundreds of pounds a week like the chav families who also manage to find fame AND fortune through their bloodsucking lifestyles......

I await the lynch mob to pick up on these comments and drag me to the stake!

Leslie

No one was complaining that he should claim what he is entitled to under the maternity benefits scheme. It is just that he was moaning about the amounts available and the fact that they will lose his partner's income.

Is it fair that the firm has to pay 90% of her salary for 6 weeks of no work and probably having to pay another person to fill in?

I would say that £100 per week is pretty good really. Talizman, do you know the basic state peansion for an OAP who has spent his or her entire working life contributing to?

I think you should be grateful for what you will get and be prepared to modify your personal standard of living in exchange.

It is a basic human instinct to have children and the rewards are immense.

In previous times there were no benefits for having children and parents were prepared to make the necessary sacrifices.

Congratulations on your baby and I hope all goes well for you now and when it arrives.

Les

Diablo

LOL

Mate, you've got a nice house, 2 scoobs and a bike. Of course people are going to complain that you are looking for benefits (no matter how paltry)

Make the sacrifices. keep your missus of work for as long as you can and give the bairn the best possible start in life you can

talizman

iTrader: (1)

Leslie,

I assume you were typing your post whilst I wasa replying above /\ ?

If so, I've addressed some of your points in there.

Thanks for the kind wishes though

talizman

iTrader: (1)

D'oh!

Don't have 2 Scoobs, meant 2 cars!

The Scoob is going, the bike maybe going, and we are cutting back in loads of other areas, starting 6 months ago when we found out she was pregnant!

Mrs WRX

Talizman, you shouldnt have to justify yourself to others on here. It really get my pip when people like yourselves work and pay Tax etc and get peanuts in comparison, yet people like my friend (mentioned on page 2 of this thread) are actually better off than me and my other half who both work full time to support out children. We couldnt afford another baby, let alone a 5th one!

Good luck with it all and I hope it all goes well.

imlach

No-one on benefits should be "better off" than someone working. If that's the case, the system is wrong.

Is it FACTUALLY the case that someone working with 2 children is WORSE off than someone not working with 2 children? I would doubt it. Is it just perception?

talizman

iTrader: (1)

I agree, but you know how many SN threads go!

Cheers for the congrats!



imlach,

I didn't see it personally, but I heard about a programme on recently about a chav family with loads of kids, who got £1600 a week in benefits!

Would it EVER be realistically imaginable that this family could EVER earn £1600 per week, compared to the benefits? Where is the incentive to go out and work?

I don't think there is much argument over whether the "system is wrong"!

davegtt

Think the problem is someone reads in the Sun a couple are earning 35k in benefits and its all over the news etc, well thats certainly more than me, BUT these people are earning benefits in the sence of, disability allowance (bad back or something not that they do have) child care allowance, bills all paid for i.e. council house doesnt really cost owt does it... etc etc....

Most people dont get 35k in benefits BUT they do get an easy ride from it all

P1Fanatic

Just read this thread from start to finish. Good reply mate. So many people on here ready to cut you down for an innocent question when they know absolutely f*ck all about your situation but think they do.

Good luck to you both and congrats.

Simon.

imlach

Err...that's £82300 per annum. I SERIOUSLY doubt it unless they have 12 disabled kids or something???? Even then?

P1Fanatic

Prob that one off Wife Swap with 6 kids (IIRC). Think the figure was £50k but I believe that was if they claimed every benefit possible they would get that figure, not that they actually did this or actually got £50k in cash per year. If they did they were still living in a crap hole from what I remember.

Simon.

Leslie

Tailzman,

I think you realise that your first post could easily be misunderstood. My post was being written while you posted your full reply.

You are pretty well off financially and will be easily able to make the adjustments to your lifestyle to cope and that will be more than compensated by the joy of having your baby.

I think you are right to try to get your wife not to return to work too early, the baby is so important and needs her very much at thast early stage.

I am also struggling with a dsl line which keeps going down.

Good luck

Les

talizman

iTrader: (1)

Like I say, I didn't see it personally, but I am assured it was the case.

Perhaps the £1600 is estimated on a combination of benefits and free housing, council tax paid for, subsidised billls etc etc etc?

OllyK

You make it sound like a gun is being held to your head and you are being forced to be a baby factory. If your career is so important, have a career. If having kids is so important, have kids and accept the sacrifices that involves. If you want both, then do it, if you can afford to.

talizman

iTrader: (1)

Thanks Simon