neighbout is a **** and I want to force him to move out - any suggestions?
16 October 2005, 05:43 AM
#31
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(Hi AB)
Please note the time I am posting this.
the illegal rave in a field was busted and I was forced to come home.
I am still spectacularly ripped to the **** on ephedrine, bit like this ->
So I will post some suggestions on what to do.
Muppet style
astraboy.
16 October 2005, 05:46 AM
#32
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May I suggest concentrating on the more "sinister" aspects of windupery, obviously the subtle stuff dont work.
So how about, the next time one of the little ******* uses your motor for football practice, calling up the local mortuary and reporting them dead.
Make sure you arrange to have the "body" picked up when matey boy is in.
astraboy.
So how about, the next time one of the little ******* uses your motor for football practice, calling up the local mortuary and reporting them dead.
Make sure you arrange to have the "body" picked up when matey boy is in.
astraboy.
16 October 2005, 05:56 AM
#33
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Get his phone number and full name, get some business cards printed up.
Go down the local red light distrcit and hand them out, saying "call me anytime". Make sure you get a couple of rent boys for the sake of completeness
astraboy.
Go down the local red light distrcit and hand them out, saying "call me anytime". Make sure you get a couple of rent boys for the sake of completeness
astraboy.
16 October 2005, 06:00 AM
#35
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Do they have a catflap?
Why not wait till they are out and introduce as much of the local wildlife to it as possible.
Try to include as much of the "Warring" species as possible. EG. Cats and dogs, weasels and ferrets, seagulls make a lot of mess when they are in a confined space too
astraboy.
Why not wait till they are out and introduce as much of the local wildlife to it as possible.
Try to include as much of the "Warring" species as possible. EG. Cats and dogs, weasels and ferrets, seagulls make a lot of mess when they are in a confined space too
astraboy.
16 October 2005, 06:01 AM
#36
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call him on his phone number and with an official tone rattle off this warning before they can interrupt:
"This is the telephone company calling. There is some trouble with your line. Please do not answer any calls for the next five minutes or the person on the other end may be electrocuted. Thank you."
Hang up, and wait about two minutes. Call them back. When they answer, just scream "AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!"
astraboy.
"This is the telephone company calling. There is some trouble with your line. Please do not answer any calls for the next five minutes or the person on the other end may be electrocuted. Thank you."
Hang up, and wait about two minutes. Call them back. When they answer, just scream "AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!"
astraboy.
16 October 2005, 06:04 AM
#37
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Round up a horse from the local area ( unless TV adverts are lying to me you have them running wild in the street, do you not?), wait till they are all out and coax it into their front garden.
Then shoot it.
astraboy.
Then shoot it.
astraboy.
16 October 2005, 06:07 AM
#38
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get one of the air freshener gadgets that have a battery operated timer that causes a brief push on a self-contained can of air freshener every 10 minutes. your office should have one in the toilet. change the can of air freshener (which is indeed replacable) with an air horn. Wait till 3am then throw this in the bushes otside his front garden.
astraboy.
astraboy.
16 October 2005, 06:12 AM
#39
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Enlist a couple of friends to act out a viscious, but well choreographed punch up in their front garden. Make sure a couple of them "gang up" on one of them and throw him through the families car windscreen.
For added terror, make sure children are in the garden at the time
astraboy.
For added terror, make sure children are in the garden at the time
astraboy.
16 October 2005, 06:14 AM
#40
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Do they have a shed?
Wait till they are all out, then get a few cannisters of expanding foam (the stuff that REALLY expands, like 100-200 times over its volume in the cannister.
Drill a hole in the shed and squirt it in.
astraboy.
Wait till they are all out, then get a few cannisters of expanding foam (the stuff that REALLY expands, like 100-200 times over its volume in the cannister.
Drill a hole in the shed and squirt it in.
astraboy.
16 October 2005, 06:17 AM
#41
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Get a LOT of beanbag stuffing (polystyrene *****) and a box with your mans address on it and lots of stamps. Cut the bottom of the box out. Wait till 3am and place box on the guys doorstep. Fill the box with the beanbag stuffing, then seal it shut.
Whats the first thing you do with a box on your doorstep? Why pick it up of course.
astraboy.
Whats the first thing you do with a box on your doorstep? Why pick it up of course.
astraboy.
16 October 2005, 06:21 AM
#42
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Get enough newspaper together to cover a doorframe, then wait till 3 am and paper over every doorway into his house.
Once its papered up, cut a hole in the top, then fill with yet more beanbag stuffing.
Then wait for the swearing to start when he opens the doors in his house.
astraboy.
Once its papered up, cut a hole in the top, then fill with yet more beanbag stuffing.
Then wait for the swearing to start when he opens the doors in his house.
astraboy.
16 October 2005, 06:24 AM
#44
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Right last one.
Co-ordinate the above with the knowldge that one of your other neighbours is going on holiday.
Commence the above, one a day, till the other neighbour leaves, then once he has gone, cease all activity.
When he returns, start it up again
Hope it helps dude.
astraboy.
Co-ordinate the above with the knowldge that one of your other neighbours is going on holiday.
Commence the above, one a day, till the other neighbour leaves, then once he has gone, cease all activity.
When he returns, start it up again
Hope it helps dude.
astraboy.
i really like the cups with motor oil in one, Class mate 
16 October 2005, 10:52 PM
#50
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When they go on holiday, get a hosepipe through the letterbox and give the hall/lounge carpet a damn good soaking so it's sopping wet. Then get a long cardboard tube and a funnel, and intruduce several pounds of cress/mustard seeds - scattering well. Water regularly every few days for maximum growth - they'll have to mow/replace the carpet.
16 October 2005, 10:55 PM
#51
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Another good one is get a cardboard tube, fit a hairdryer on the end. Then cut a hole in the top of the tube just in front of the hairdryer and fit a funnel in the hole. Plug hairdryer into extension lead, cardboard tube through letterbox, switch on and slowly pour several containers of talcum powder into the funnel. The hot air means it rises and disperses evenly throughout the house. Takes weeks of cleaning to remove it all.
16 October 2005, 11:01 PM
#52
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Get a big bucket of sodium chlorate weedkiller crystals, and with a houshold salt pourer carefully write the words.
PAEDO SCUM
In 3ft high letters on his lawn, adding a comedy pen1s if there's space. Make sure it's the right way round to be read by passers by.
PAEDO SCUM
In 3ft high letters on his lawn, adding a comedy pen1s if there's space. Make sure it's the right way round to be read by passers by.
16 October 2005, 11:04 PM
#53
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If they have a party, get someone to gatecrash (they need to sneak in discretely) and take a dump in the kettle and/or microwave. Then put the kettle on to boil and the microwave on full roast for 20mins.
17 October 2005, 09:29 AM
#55
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I did the only decent thing I could think of on Saturday - packed wife and kids into 'chavvy' 
motorhome and buggered of to the Mourne mountains for the weekend. Gives you a decent perspective on life - they are scum who have no respect for other people or their property. That will never change, so there is no point in stressing about it.
That said, I might give some of AB's suggestions a try for the craic
motorhome and buggered of to the Mourne mountains for the weekend. Gives you a decent perspective on life - they are scum who have no respect for other people or their property. That will never change, so there is no point in stressing about it. That said, I might give some of AB's suggestions a try for the craic
17 October 2005, 11:22 AM
#57
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Originally Posted by STi-Frenchie
A paramilitary-style attack on a 23-year-old man in Newtownabbey was attempted murder, according to police. The victim was found with gunshot wounds to his legs and arms and his head was covered with tyre marks. Police suspect a motorhome was involved. A police spokesperson said he had been badly beaten and left to die and that he would like to track down the owner of the motorhome to see if it was available for rent as 40K's worth of motorhome must be worth taking a butcher's at.
The victim's condition is described as serious but stable. Police suspect the motorhome suffered no damage but may need the shock absorbers and/or geometry checked.
The victim's condition is described as serious but stable. Police suspect the motorhome suffered no damage but may need the shock absorbers and/or geometry checked.
Just spotted this one - LMAO
BEW -
- you wouldn't catch me in a pink pullover.... (bet I get shot now or sumink)
17 October 2005, 08:18 PM
#59
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I dont want to bring this thread down by being serious; but if youre going to do anything serious then I certainly wouldnt mention it here.
Simon
Simon
