mart360

I got the good cop bad cop on the mway going up to gatwick airport to doo some work...

yes admittedly i was a bit close to him (bumper to bumper ish not )

anyway they pulled me for a chat,

good cop was ok, reasonable....

bad cop tried scare tactics which fell flat at my response...

bad cop his opening gambit... have you ever seen a dead body

me.. yes, ive got one in the back

bad cop eyes wide!!!! what what do you mean..

me ive got one in the back of the van, I,m an undertaker, going to gatwick to collect another one from a flight

god cop .. now sees the funny side and remarks, well unless you want to join him in the back pay attention to your distances...


with that they toddled off...

b*sterd though bad cop followed me all the way down to the airport....


Mart

mart360

me neither, one of those youve got to be there to see how funny it was.. i suspect..


mart

OllyK

I was dropping a mate off at about 3am and had pulled up outside his house. While we were saying our goodbyes etc a copper pulls up in a panda with his blue lights going. He gets out and says "I thought we were going to loose you there, but you finally stopped" I was a bit confused as I hadn't even seen him. "Any idea how fast you were going up here?" "Dunno". "Well we were doing 50 and you left us for dead"

3 points and a fine followed. The things you do in your youth

Fuzz

August 95 I got pulled in my brand new 106 rallye because I wasn't wearing my seatbelt, got the hugest of lectures about crash safety and the fact this copper never took excuses for not wearing one.
My reply (which was true)
"Well I've only had the car a week and I used to drive a 1955 landrover which didn't have any seat belts"
and he let me off, not even a producer,
Although true, the landrover was a mere toy and my daily drive previous to the 106 was a Mk 1 escort.

Andy

James Neill

iTrader: (1)

Am I stupid? I don't get this????

s70rjw

iTrader: (2)

Same here.......

ajm

The lawyer was having a dig. Basically the coppers always testified (rather dubiously) that his clients had confessed using the cliche "fair cop etc.". He knew it was rubbish, so for amusement purposes he made sure that they had to read the same dubious confession in his own court case.

It must be lawyer humour. I'm sure, had he intended it to be amusing for Scoobynet members, he would have appended "bum" or "*****" to the end of it!

fast bloke

neither did I put I didn't want to say anything in case it was simple

v8voodoo - that thing reminds me of a beast that a friend of my fathers used to drive - I can't remember the make now but I can remember that in standard guise it was a 1500 twin carb (give us a break - I was only 6 - might have been an Austin Healey?) - It was reasonably quick with the 1500, but the guy was an american car importer, so he got in a wrecked race car with a Ford 427 engine. He bunged the engine into the (back seats mostly of the)car and then supercharged it for added zest. Handling was probably crap, but if you wanted to go in a straight line in a hurry there was no better weapon. There is a bit of road over here called seven mile straight, and strangely it is seven miles long and it doesn't have any bends. He used to tinker with the car and then hit the seven mile straight for speed testing. My father used to look after the body work and suspension (aha - thats why it needed a seven mile straight) so I was brought along on occasion to go for a ride. I remember the sheer thrill as the car easily passed 100, then 150, then gently cruised up to 170/175 on the speedo before a frantic attempt to make it slither to a halt (the thing that worries me now is that there was much discussion about brake shoes..... nope - not pads... shoes ) We got pulled one evening in Ballynure (another place with long straight roads) by mr local plod who was just stopping people (1977 in Northern Ireland they just stopped everyone) -
Plod says - where are your back seats
Dads m8 says - I took them out to fit the engine
Plod - Givus a go... pleeeease
Dads m8 - OK (points at me) he can go with you
30 seconds later I learned to swear properly - it must be OK - a policeman taught me all the words


(p.s. - bet that wouldn't happen now.... plod speed testing some unknown car with some weird 6 year old shouting - It goes much faster than this )

Gutmann pug

Got stopped for something I was about to do but didnt ....... supposedly about to go across white lines at the end of a dual carriageway, I didnt do it, braked at the last moment. Looked in mirror and plods there and pulls me over, hadnt seen him before. The end of the arguement was when I asked him how many people he stops a day for being about to go through a red light but not actually doing it........
To his credit he said ''im going to leave now sir before one of us says something we will regret''

Gary

pauly

iTrader: (1)

no chance mate.. for 1 there would be scameras every 1/4 mile

JTaylor

I read it as the unlikly response of a lawyer. "It's a fair cop guv, I done it" as opposed to "Yes, it's a good call officer, I did it". I trust this will have you spitting coffee all over the screen, the neighbours complaining about the howls of laughter eminating from your office.

4x4chris

touch wood, but only been pulled over once, this was on new years eve by a meat wagon
the nice lady said she saw me early on XXXX road but they couldn't catch me up!!

HA!

turboman786

I'm a lawyer, and im still struggling to get it!!!

abbiesdad

not been stopped for a long time but the last time was for going over a speed bump to fast ... not over the speed limit but to fast on a speed bump.. still not sure of the speed limit on a bump was stopped once on an enduro bike for the number plate ... pc, whats that... me,numberplate ... pc, thats no fckin good to me, i'm in a panda car not a fckin helicopter.. .. used to call around regular to check bike

JCScooby

When i had my old white pug 205, i had white lenses on the rear to give a flush look. Anyway, a copper pulled me over and said when i braked, my lights were showing white light. His mate then used the brake pedal as we looked on from the back. I said to him that is clearly RED, his reply was, nope its a lighter shade of PINK. I couldnt believe how much detail he wanted to go into over a fecking light. This colour debate went on for about 15 mins, then he just said to get on my way. WHAT A ******* WASTE OF TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!

mad-dad

when i first upped the boost on my 200sx i had a race in the early hours of the morning with a mates google eyed E55amg. it was on the north circular with three lanes and 40mph limit. the E55 pulled away from me(it wouldn't now) and while i'm commenting to my passenger coming on and off the throttle at over 100mph, at how much more responsive it is, there's blue lights flashing at me in the mirrors. obviously slowed down and then stopped thinking i'm gonna be banned(probably deserved it in all honesty).
i get the biggest lecture of my life. the coppers also said that they were doing 100 and i was pulling away from them!!!!!!!! i didn't even get a producer
i wasn't rude and and while i didn't admit my speed, i was humble saying that i deserved punishment. i still find it hard to believe that they let me off

SCOOBY TOWERS

iTrader: (7)

Following a line of traffic home and I come across an accident.
I sneak the car out to the right to see what holding us up and a copper starts heading my way.
Oh I thinks (powering the window down) he's coming to explain the delay.

Him: Oh you - slow down
Me: I can't go any faster than the cars in front officer!
Him: I don't care - just slow down.
Me: As I stated - I can't go any faster then the car in front and they weren't exceeding any limits.
Him: Looks son (I nearly laughed as he was about half my age) I'm telling YOU.
Me: I really don't think you've thought this through officer (Traffic just setting off again), have a sit down and think about what you've just said, BYE.


The look of confusion on his presumptuous face was a picture to behold, ape like, but worth beholding!

and they wonder why people start to mistrust the police !

BTW I bumped into him again the other night - I was on foot, with the wife & kids in our local village. He was closing the road ready for our "pickwick night".
He actually asked (on his radio) should I close the road now, or let these 100 people onto it first ?
I declined the oppertunity to reintroduce myself [].

FFS what criteria do you need to get in these days ?

fast bloke

Q1 - Can you fill in a producer... y - go to question 2, N go to question 2

Q2 - Can you write your name?

Pass mark - 40%

Bootlid

I got stopped for overtaking a police car on my push bike years ago tossers

hedgehog

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4394862.stm

Not much by the looks of it. It is a sad situation when the clever and able people in the force are leaving:

"According to the study, the police service is left with officers who may appear incompetent and are unable to inspire confidence in those they serve."

The training that was required to be undertaken by the highest levels of police drivers, for example, has all but vanished and these days they are little better trained than the average motorist. This is one example of the erosion of the skills base necessary to maintain an effective and useful police force. It seems that these days a high proportion of those left in the force are on some sort of ego trip based on the "if you've seen the things I've seen..." "If you had to do my job..." "My ***** are made of steel..." etc.

It is said that a society gets the police force it deserves and there seems to be a reasonable degree of truth in this. The country was happy enough to let Thatcher offer the police a pay rise to beat up the striking miners and from there it was bound to be all downhill. I don't imagine that those in the force with a talent for the job are happy about the situation but until the general public lets the administration know that they are unhappy then I think we will continue to get the police force we deserve.

There is, I believe, a UK organisation called something like "stoppa coppa" who are dedicated to approaching police officers and thanking them for their contribution to society. While it is a small thing perhaps it might help increase the number of officers who are in the job to serve the community rather than those who are there to serve some weird ego trip. If the general public show support for the police then the government can no longer manipulate the force and this works to the benefit of us all. In turn the force should be able to attract better recruits and so, perhaps, we can put ourselves in a position to deserve a better police force than the one we currently have.

CyprusScooby

Its easy!
Let me explain then:

Well you always here about cases everyonce in a while, of Police falsifying statements ie. the statements always sounding very similiar albeit with the name of the accused different.

So if this lawyers defending people all the time, and the Police always state that when arresting somebody, they give the exact same response everytime, "Its a fair cop. I did it pal" it sound pretty dodgy.

So when the Police read out the statement of the lawyer who is accused of speeding, with the quote "Its a fair cop I did it pal" it looks even dodgier still as it sounds like the Cops are falsifying statements, as they always sound the same!

So it was probably case dismissed.

Scoob99

iTrader: (1)

Going to work one morning, (Postman) got stopped by plod who asked me where I was going, So I said fancy dress party, where do you think I'm going ****
Cheers
Colin

DocJock

In my MX5 doing some 'wee skids' round my favourite roundabout. T5 appears at top of one slip road and flicks on the blues.

"How would you describe your driving there Sir ?"

Obviously the temptation was to say "f'ing great, did you see how I held a constant angle for the whole lap ?" Of course I wimped out and was lectured on how I had "lost the back end" and "should be careful in that car as it's rear wheel drive"

brihoppy

got stopped by the macedonian police (in macedonia, obviously!!!) the other afternoon, driving an unmarked NATO landrover disco...normal occurrance really when in unmarked vehicles...anyway, doris rocks up, i identify myself as KFOR, then they normally send us on our way...not this girly, she proceeds to intently study the front of the wagon pointing at the lights...me thinking theres a problem, i ask whats up and the language barrier starts to become a bit of an issue...turns out after a bit of banter she wanted me to turn the headlights off...!!!

you think our police are bad...? you should see the police in some of these chickensh*t countries...!!!

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

Years (and years) ago I borrowed a friends pushbike (VERY expensive one) which it had a speedo on it, so I decided to see how fast I could down this dirty long hill into town (Ashby Road into Burton for those that know it)

Well, it had seriously tight gearing on it (54/12 I think) and I was bloody flying down the hill... under-taking every car going the same way (including a Panda car...)

Well, I had over 50mph showing on the clock and I was starting to get a bit worried as I was getting to the traffic lights,the traffic was building up and push-bike brakes aren't the best, so I came to stop near the bottom all happy and pleased with myself (and completely knackered)

This cop car pulls up... "What the bloody hell do you think you were doing???" shouts this copper.. "Do you have ANY idea how fast you were going???"

I kept quiet at this point, and he started to lecture me on going way over the speed limit, things like "didn't you get the idea you were speeding when you were passing all the cars?"

I said "well, I thought everyone was going a bit slow"

He then came out with the classic "It's nothing to be proud of you know!"

YES it was!!!!! D:

mgcvk

More than good enough reason that

StickyMicky

hsurprised the tossers never tried to give you points sumhow LOL

one copper was banging on about me getting sum points sometime for not having my rear heated screen on PMSL

Leslie

In the good old days before speedcams and with proper traffic cops who understood about driving, we all learned how to keep a really good check of our mirrors.

Les

zip929

Was driving a TR6. Doing 90mph. Copper said you were doing over 90 mph sir. Mate said I know officer. This car needs a f*****g good service, it just won't go any quicker! Copper burst out laughing and let him off. The good old days...

greenprodrive

About 2 years ago. It's approx 1am , and I'm doing 130mph on the M4 Eastbound. Outside lane. Occasional car in inside lane, and I slow down a bit , then back up to 130.

After a while , I notice some headlights way back in the distance which are keeping up with me.

Sixth sense kicks in , I slow down to 120 , he is already MUCH closer.

I slow to 100 , pull into middle lane , he's past ... he pulls into middle lane , and then in his rear windscreen .. "POLICE STOP" light

Oh .. my .. god ... obviously immediate ban , I thought.

I indicate, pull into left hand lane... and he's OFF .. never to be seen again.

Probably my luckiest driving day ever.