Funny wedding one liners needed!

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20 January 2006, 12:07 PM

#31

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for best man: "I'm sure you'll all agree the bride looks stunning today, infact good enough to eat, but i'm sure the groom will have a good go at that later"

chop

22 January 2006, 09:32 AM

#32

salsa-king

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hi jacking this thread........ sorry.

we're getting married in September.... honeymoon already booked!

anyone else got any different 'favours' for the guests on the tables..
Jo's already seen the Fortune Cookies and the love heart sweets... but is there anything you've seen that would be great?

Phil

22 January 2006, 11:57 AM

#33

wwp8

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he's got you fortune cookies for the wedding. he's full of surprises.

23 January 2006, 12:36 PM

#34

RayC

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thanks all

anymore? possibly less rude ones!!

23 January 2006, 12:42 PM

#35

D1CCY

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There are two theories on how to win an argument with a woman. Neither of them works.

23 January 2006, 01:08 PM

#36

Remster

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We had heart shaped cookies with the guests names iced in pink or blue icing. These doubled as place settings and also favours.

23 January 2006, 01:20 PM

#37

andypugh2000

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Last time I stood up to make a speech I got a £100 fine and community service

23 January 2006, 01:37 PM

#38

Jay m A

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Your outfit looks rubbish on you

24 January 2006, 05:06 PM

#39

kwaky

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Not really a one liner, but a funny one when I did a best man job.

The other day in the chemist, I had this moment of inspiration. I finally worked out condom packets.

3 pack - they're for you late teens. One for Friday night, one for Saturday night and one for Sunday night.

6 pack - they're for you twenty-somethings. Two for Friday night, two for Saturday night and two for Sunday night.

12 Pack?? Well... they're for married people. One for January, One for February etc etc...

24 January 2006, 05:14 PM

#40

scoobypreza

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Quote:

Originally Posted by kwaky

I've never heard that one lamo!

Here's a crappy but tame one....

"Being married is like any other job.... it helps if you like your boss"

24 January 2006, 05:35 PM

#41

New_scooby_04

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Quote:

Originally Posted by andypugh2000

Last time I stood up to make a speech I got a £100 fine and community service

Woa! Must have been a pretty bad (or damned good) speech!!

"Homer, would you like to present your rebuttal?"

"With pleasure" Moons audience!!

Ns04

29 March 2011, 09:29 AM

#42

specialx

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I'd like you all to meet my first wife!

Last edited by specialx; 29 March 2011 at 10:37 AM. Reason: spamming removed!!

29 March 2011, 12:16 PM

#43

Beastie

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Why do women all get married in White???

ALL domestic appliances come in White.

29 March 2011, 12:56 PM

#44

Jonto

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I heard this one once.....

Best man - "Today i've been told by the Groom to be on my best behavior! He's also said that if i do a good job I can be best man at his next wedding as well!!"