BOB.T

A mate of mine opened a door, spreading dog crap into the carpet and then stood in it for good measure!

Wurzel

iTrader: (1)

Have had dog **** between my fingers when I fell over and put my hand in some, it squidged everywhere from what I can remember, not pleasent

dogpole

i haven't, but as i kid i remember it happening to my younger brother.

but, on the same holiday as we were walking along the beach (some where in cornwall) i stepped on a jellyfish thinking it was a rock and my foot went straight through it. Never been so scared, didn't know what was happening. i was only about 10.




dp

Luke C

iTrader: (1)

When I was a kid my friend slipped over and his hand went in Grey dog poo. He then chased me with it

Scarred

16vmarc

Im still laughing from the first post

Glencora

All Friday afternoons should have threads like this - I will be laughing for the rest of the day.

Thanx guys!

Chris@LittleKnocks

Yep

Our old lab had left a large brown present at the bottom of the stairs one night which I stepped on barefooted one sleepy morning ...... squelch
I hopped out into the garden & proceeded to hose off my foot


I've never recovered from such a traumatic experience early in the morning

Luke C

iTrader: (1)

I'm sorry to hear that

I think this thread is just bringing out too many painfull memories

Burt

When I was about 13 in PE at school we were playing rugby practicing the dive over the line for a try, when I dived straight in a huge pile of dog sh1te, covered from head to toe. the whole class pi55ed themselves, then I had to go to the deputy heads office to get him to unlock the changing rooms so I could get cleaned up. He was not impressed at someone standing in his office covered in sh1te especially as he was trying to convince some parents of the good sports facilities we had.

Mum wasn't too impressed when she had to wash said rugby kit.

Aren't scholl days the best

Paul3446

Not if you go to school with a Sikh!

JackClark

Not for me, both my experiences ended in the brown, but started in the pink.

Alas

Exactly the same for me as I'd heard the pooch up & about and came downstairs to see why. He obviously had the ****s which I proceeded to step in. As it was about 4am I was pretty sleepy plus it was pitch dark so felt my toes to see what I had stepped in. Then did the obvious and sniffed it. Aaaaarrrrgggghhh.
The dog avoided me for a few days - mind you so did everyone else

Wurzel

iTrader: (1)

I play rugby now and this is my worst fear!!! the feckin huge opposition do not bother me but sliding is dog **** is a nightmare I daren't contemplate

I had the same feeling when I was in the army aswell grubbing round in the long grass, bushes etc fortunately it naver happened. Can't think of anything worse than being on exercise for 2 weeks and getting covered in **** on the first day

SteveCMY97

iTrader: (1)

ROFLMFAO

This thread is class

Drunken Bungle Whore

I've had a long cr@p day and now I hear that my route home is blocked due to 2 accidents This thread has cheered me right up - I thought these things only happend to me?

I walk around barefoot a lot in the summer and have had many annoying pooh incidents.

Slobbery dog incidents aren't a whole lot better. Flat out on the sofa, dozing nicely on a hot summers afternoon when my adorable boxer cross decides to have a good old shake and cover me in goo! Anyone remember the scene from Turner and Hooch.....?

kingofturds

iTrader: (1)

pissed up I once sat on a dog turd someone had thoughtfully placed on a park swing. As soon as i sat on it the aroma was released and nearly made me puke.

JamieMacdonald

Just remembered the time my mate got sent home from school...

He was late for school one day, and being a bit of a teacher's pet he was legging it down the road so as not to be too late.

When he got to school, everyone started to complain about the smell teacher went over and sniffed him - he had dog **** all in his hair and up his back!! He'd stepped in a steaming pile of dog excrement without noticing, and while he was running along it was all flicking up the back of his jacket and into his hair!!

Alas

Sadly I've got one of these Turner & Hooch mutts and although they dont manage the white laces they do have a carrying quantity of at least 1/2pt of drool on each side. My dogs favourite trick is to have a drink then come in and put his head on top of my face when I'm lying on the couch sleeping. Worst was when he'd had some rice for his dinner. Looked like I'd been pebbledashed.

Hoppy

This story is legend where I work (magazine publishing).

One journo who worked on a well-known angling publication thought he'd try out some free kit sent in for review. In this case it was a complete all-in-one suit, wind and water-proof, complete with built-in hood - the lot. What better for a cold weekend of reporting on a big angling competion?

All was well until, out in the middle of nowhere, he felt the call of nature. Nothing unusual in that, it happens all the time and everyone just nips behind a bush and the job's a good 'un. Number two's are a little more tricky, but all in a day's work.

But in this one-piece suit he had to slip the top off his shoulders and basically strip to the knees in order to, well, you know.

Everything went to plan, except that he'd forgotten about the hood. Think about this for a moment - he'd forgotten about the hood But he pretty soon remembered it when, on pulling the thing back over his shoulders, he felt something warm running down his neck and back!!!

Fookin' 'ell

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

No but many many slugs.....

Luke C

iTrader: (1)

Never has poo been talked about so much in one thread!

Oh arnt we all so mature

Sport160

St Tropez, walking through the square in open toe sandles (not jesus ones) when I felt a nasty squelch, my friends still laugh about it today. *******s

Hoppy

Posted by kingofturds

This is quality, too:

"I was ******** on a playing field once and put my hand in a dog ****." Jack Clark post #16

jonathan100

popped round to my mates one day befor going to the pub. he said he was justs poping to his room to grab his coat. about 30secs later heard hip screaming at the top of his voice and then that vile puke sound. ran upstairs to see what the hell was going on.There is dave yaking his gutts up into the bog. turns round and he's got loads of runny brown s*** all down his shirt.
one of his cats had got into his room and had the sh**s on his bed which he a jumped onto to grab his coat from the other side.
have never laughted so hard in all my life

Bram

When I was 8 our class was taken on school trip to Edinburgh zoo. My group was led by a parent of the class nerd, she was totally OTT and it was worse than in class.

Anyway we got to the Bengal Tiger enclosure, it was walking up down in the front of its den/cage as big cats often do there bored or sumthing, Mrs McClumpha was going on how loveley and rare thise Tiger was, when it stopped right in front of her and lifted its tail and pished on her from head to foot even getting her in mid rant square in the gob about India, pish was everywhere, golden shower extreme.

What a class cat, I adopted it for a couple of pounds a year in those days. You will be sad to note its now in the great pish heaven in the sky, wonder if Mrs McClumpha remembers it so fondly. Her son is now a conservative politician.