Sorry Mick your such a cool dude,and i know you like a laugh but i can't help it they put ideas in my head,thank god we have some youth in the club

 

MARTIN SEEK HELP

 

Had the back box off and done a Meguiars 3 stage clean/polish/was on the inside. Apparently it improves the gas flow and gives you a .001 bhp hike over standard. Put the thing back together and took it down for a session on the rollers at t'clinic. Lo-and-behold, up from 268.2 to 268.3 bhp

So, this got me thinking...

If i did the same to the whole system, what gains would I see?

Obviously I was gonna need outside help, as there was no way I could think of to apply the Meguiars inside a 5 foot length of 3" diameter tube, but help came in the form of Dazza, who was given some cloth and a little tub of each of the three stages, and sent off down the (now removed from the car) mid-section. Things were a bit tight, he had to duck and crawl to get in there, and his gut almost prevented him from entering, but a swift kick op the jacksie from my size 9 K-Swiss and he was on his way...

This was on Monday morning.

By about 3pm on Tuesday a muted cry could be heard from the other end of the pipe, and closer investigation revealed three empty tubs and some dirty rags, one of which was being waved about by the little fella himself. A quick tug (Careful Martin!!!) and out he popped. Great!, now lets get him into the downpipe.

He slipped in a little easier that before, the effects of two full days with no McD's cow sandwiches having had a dramaic effect on his waistline, and before he descended into the murky depths he was handed a tiny hammer (From the Lego Construction Workers set) to carry out some choice 'mods' to kittylitter convertor whilst he was in there.

Working at a furious rate, so as to be out in time to see the 'Apprentice' final, the little fella could be heard banging away (NO MARTIN) furiously, whilst little bits of ex-cat were beginning to form a nice pile on the floor. By 9pm on Tuesday evening he had emerged, declaring that all was nicely polished and the cat had been entirely removed.

COOL!!!

All back together in time to drop the car off at the Clinic once more. This was done on Wednesday morning on my way down to the NEC.

24 hours passed and I heard nothing

By lunchtime on Thursday I was begginging to get worried, so I placed a call to Adam at the clinic...

A - "Scoobyclinic, Adam speaking"

S - (In a Life of Brian type accent and voice...) "Awright Big Nose?"

A - "Le Stickee, we have good news... she's been on the rollers and pulled 268.5 bhp. We're just doing a final road test on her now, so you can set off and pick her up this afternoon if you like"

S - "Excrement!, I'll send the misuse"

So, to paraphrase a famous ad...

Decat centre pipe - £150
Three stage Meguiars polishing system - £15
Two days wages for a tiniy person to polish the inside of your exhaust system and knock out the downpipe cat - £445
One hour on the rollers at Scoobyclinic - £100
The thrill of getting a .3 bhp gain for just £710... PRICELESS!!!

 

Next mod...

This guy down the pub told me that his mate's sister's boyfriend owns a garage, and that someone from Subaru has told him that a customers' uncle's wife's ex-husbands bank manager knew a chap who had a sister that used to go out with Justin Hawkins from the Darkness. Apparently, Justin's brother is into performance and handling in a big way, and he says he knows of a chap who's step-mother's sister was knocking off a chap who was in jail with a guy who had once put his springs into and oven set to 220c (400f, gas mark 8) for 45 minutes (turning once).

This is supposed to uprate the spring rate by a couple of pounds per corner.

Can't wait to try that.

Oh, and copperslip applied to the working surface of your brake pads prolongs their life considerably, but may have an inverse effect on yours!

 

That's the last time you'll get a sensible question

Great response BTW

 

From all that I think I understood it as, a new decat mid, smashed the DP cat out, a de-coking and possibly a remap. Alan seemed to think that your figure of +.3 was nearer +75, but I'll wait 'til I see you thursday when I may get a sensible answer I certainly was aware of you pulling away from me quicker last thursday :

 

Great night once again guys. What beats great food and brilliant company??

Oh and Martin, you are so so wrong, LOL, but very very funny.

 

Last Thursday as in the SMACS run?

 

Had the pleasure of a brief run in sticky's car with the polished treatment.

burble burble pfssssssssssst and chatter from the now polishd air box, and I am being serious, proper chatter from the turbines stalling rally styleeeeeeeeeeeee

The polished exhaust system just adds to the hole driving experiance, with seriously quick spool up, The first Bolobeye I have driven that sounds like me or Paul crafts batting down the street

It has added 1/4 mile to the sound of the car honestly


veli nice indeed

 

On the way for the curry.

 

EXPLAIN

 

For what?

 

I agree with Mick.

Sticky took me for a quick blat in between my Armourfend work and it has a fabulous sounding wastegate 'feathering' when coming off throttle and the DTA modification makes it sound VERY purposeful... Oh, and it pulls like a T20 now..

 

 

Sorry mate, i just meant for the post about " the in deep" .

Very Very Funny, I actually was sitting at the desk trying to do the books and crying with laughter.

 

Back on topic, what did you all have at the curry house? I find curry talk far more interesting than car talk.

 

Tandoori mixed starter for 2 followed with Shah Jahal.

 

A big turd