*Cino*

I don't think ignorant and offensive comments are needed or helpful here guys.

Legacy, unless you know Donna, her kids and her way of parenting, thats incredibly insulting, all parents do their best. I'm sure you did your best with your kids and I'm sure you had hard times, unless your partner did all the work. Bringing up kids is the hardest job anyone can have, and if a child has a problem it's even harder, have you tried looking after a child with ADHD?
My sister is a brilliant parent, she has brought her son up alone (with my parents help of course) his dad has never been in his life, and even though my nephew has border line ADHD he is still a good kid.
Insults are very easy to dish out by ignorant people.

Donna, I'd set up that camera if I was you if it will help.

*Sonic*

*Cino* it would be good to set up a camera, however we would need about a dozen of them setup because he doesnt keep still much, and spends a lot of time going from room to room

Plus like all kids he reacts a bit differently if he knows there is a camera around, we could do with one of them tv shows filming us for a bit with hidden cameras etc (not every room though so that they can see exactly how he is

Stupid comments dont help, especially by people who cant even string a proper legible sentence together

*Cino*

Sonic, why not contact one of these shows? Bit of a wild suggestion but worth a shot ? Otherwise try setting up a camera, hidden in a place he's most likeyly to spend the most time, or likely to zip past often, even a small amount of footage could help.

*Sonic*

I do have a couple of cameras that I could try and setup in the living rooms, as during the day this is were he spends most of his time flitting between the two, only black and white though but might help

Biggest problem is then finding someone willing to watch hours of footage, or even days, which in reality is what someone would have to do to get a good idea of how he is

watching only 5 minutes of footage for example wouldnt really be any different than people in the street seeing him, and making some of the same comments they do currently

Still maybe worth a try though

*Cino*

It's definately worth a try, because you can always edit, to make the footage shorter.

supna

How much sleep does he get per 24 hours.

*Sonic*

It depends, he goes to bed at 8pm and for example last night was still wide awake at gone 11pm

He will usually wake up again anywhere between about 2am and 5am and will start playing or even singing

He doesnt have much concept of time in that sense, if he awakes during the night, he doesnt realise he needs to go back to sleep, he just thinks its time to get up and play etc, even though he knows everyone else is still asleep!!

*Cino*

I presume he doesn't sleep in the day? He may need to see a sleep therapist or whatever you call them, kids need about 12 hours sleep as you know, plus I know how exhausting it is if a kid is active 24 hours

*Sonic*

he doesnt really sleep anymore in the day, he used to round about the afternoon for an hour or so, sometimes he still will if out on a longish car journey

Sometimes he *will* fall asleep soon after he goes to bed

*Cino*

well I think you and Donna are doing the right thing by getting him some help, I guess there is only so much people here can say, only a doctor can really help. Good luck x

supna

I think sleep is very important to young children without it they become very unruly and disruptive and can show signs of ADHD which I think most people are too quick to label their children with nowadays.

DCI Gene Hunt

It's the parents....... non-smacking, naughty time, quiet time... mumbo fecking jumbo time........ a quick slap of the legs and you're sorted........

Mrs WRX

Sonic/DK1 you have my sympathys. Your son has a medical condition and no matter what some of the ninja keyboard heros on here say, a slapped backside will not cure him.

Keep pestering the medical profession. And keep up your own research as well. I have 3 kids and I couldnt imagine what you go through each day. Mine are pretty well behaved but they drive me nuts and to the point of tears sometimes. I really feel for you two.

DCI Gene Hunt

It WILL.... just keep slapping till he stops crying (or your hand aches..)..........

Rather that than a keyboard 'care worker'.......

Mrs WRX

I would rather be a keyboard care worker, more people will like you

DCI Gene Hunt

Aren't care workers also abusers of the elderly, you know Chav's with no goals or qualifications in life who earn the minimum wage wiping up p1ss all day.............

Rather be disliked................

Rioja

Hi, Hope things are going ok with your son. Interesting to read the very extensive symptoms he has, it sounds alot more complicated than just 'Oh, I knew a kid like that, he's autistic!'

I don't have kids myself but do feel for your situation; probably haven't got a clue which way to turn. Judging by the replies it sounds like your not entirely alone!

I know it it was me I'd be trying everything from extreme diets, accupunture and chiropractic to the full MRI. I hope you find a solution, all the best.

DCI Gene Hunt

Whoa...... that takes the cake!

So you would STARVE him, STICK PINS in him, SNAP his spine and then BOMBARD him with an electro-magnetic field................

FFS lady after all that I would hope he laid a great big feckin curler on your living room floor........

You are one sadistic biatch..............

jasey

DCI - this is a serious thread.

But that was quite funny

D.K.1

Thank you.

I also have 3 children, and it is only my son who has these "problems". My two daughters are nothing like him and, yes, like any child they can have their moments of misbehaviour and defiance and giddyness, but it's nothing to the extent of Andrew! If I was a bad parent, as pointed out by these so called keyboard warriors, then surely all three would be just as bad, not just one of them I have also been in tears when things have got too much, but I suppose the bad days equal out with the good days in the long run

I know many think a good slap would be the solution, but who in their right mind would want to physically hurt their child over and over? I would be doing it all day every day if that was the case with my son! All it does is make things worse and breeds resentment and further bad behaviour. I know when I was young I used to get a slap and it did stop me from doing it again, but I had that fear, whereas Andrew has no concept of fear, so isn't fazed by it.

Good news on the bed front, this morning his bed was dry, he had a night light on in tis room, so maybe that helped him Darkness can be daunting to a 4 year old. He was so excited and pleased with himself, bless him

As for what *Sonic* mentioned about him "sometimes" going to sleep as soon as he goes to bed, he often wakes round 11pm and stays awake right into the early hours and will sometimes go back off to sleep at around 5am THere is no way he would sleep in the day, unless on a car journey. His bed time is regular, so I suppose it just depends when he feels tired for him to go to sleep .

he often takes all his clothes off, he hates being dressed most of the time, if he has the chance to strip off, he doesn't hesitate to do so, maybe this is to do with the "Autistic trait" of not liking to be touched, being sensitive to things like thes, I read that a lot of children with spectrum disorders like the lightest, softest clothes, so I guess him preferring nothing at all relates to this somehow? He even took his clothes ogg in nursery on several occasions last year and refused to put them back on without a battle with the teacher! He also likes his hair spikey, yet he absolutely hates me putting gel in his hair and me brushing it!

FRom being born, he has never been easy to pacify and has had problems. He cried non stop and hardly slept then either I was both physically and mentally worn out after having him as he was so demanding. My other two (thankfully) were nothing like him as a baby, or now for that matter

jasey

How are his Sisters with him.

Given the "complex nature" of your relationship (Marriage break up etc) is there any possibility of jealousy / Anger on their part to the new sibling.

Just a thought .

Ted Maul

my sympathies for you DK1, and hope that you find the answers you are looking for.
from my experience of bringing up a normal child (normal in that he is within what people would call the normal spectrum of behaviour) and the difficulties that entails, I feel for you.

D.K.1

My eldest daughter is 6 and the younest has just turned 3, so he was the middle baby They are fine with him, although they do get frightened of him at times with his temper and him lashing out and trhowing things etc.

THey have all adjusted reasonably well to the break up really, he has been a problem from day one, I just didn't know if the past two years events have made a difference or not with some of his problems. On the whole, he appears happy though, as do my two girls


THanks for the kind words Ted

danwrx1980

I find it evry hard to believe that for someone who seems to be quite intelligent (from earlier posts that I have read of yours) that you have chipped in with a comment such as this.
Yes I agree that certain traits of ADHD and other behaviour problems are used by some people to justify their kid's problems, but for you to ignore 30 odd other posts about this topic and jump in with a comment that completely belittles the trouble Donna is having with her son completely dumbfounds me.
Maybe you need to look at your lack of attention sometime, and we can all say that you don't have a problem you're just being a c**k and choosing to ignore the bits that actually make valid points, much like pretty much everyone else has posted on here.

Dan.

D.K.1

Two nights on the run he hasn't wet the bed now, but he was caught earlier peeing behind the sofa again and he said he was scared of upstairs because there's cracks up there I haven't a clue what he's going on about!

sti-04!!

Has he seen you in bed ?????

Spoon

D.K.1

Nope, he can't see past my stock of handbags

sti-04!!

Any special offers at the moment ??

D.K.1

Plenty

Anyway, back on topic