miss*scoobygav555*

If he allows it more fool him!! I wouldn't be treated like that by anyone no matter how much I loved them!!..

Carla..

EddScott

Probably what will happen.

I've been through so much over the years.

She'd lost a child in the August, met me in October and was pregnant by February. No I didn't use protection but then again, no she didn't tell me she stopped taking the pill at christmas.

We found out she was pregnant went out with people whom I really didn't like and the guy started on me and beat me up - I paniced, drove home and he rang the police - I was only just over as I'm not a big drinker and I lose my GTIR and my license for 12 months.

Shes always liked a drink and once she started, nothing else mattered (this is a carbon copy of her parents attitude once drunk - they are pretty **** to be honest and barely capable of looking after themselves let alone kids)

Anyway, she got really bad drinking and one night we had a right set to and she went over to a neighbours house. She spent a good couple of hours at their house but I didn't find out till later that her friend wasn't there and she spent the time with her friends BF. We had a massive row and she left me for her parents. The same friends that have dropped her in it this time came round once she'd left to say that during a fight between this friend and the BF he said they'd slept together on the living room floor. I always felt that this was just him being an **** and trying to hurt his partner but now this has come up and she lied about the length of time the two were together makes me think well maybe something did happen.

During this time she also spent one night after working in a bar drinking with another girl till 4am and got nicked and lost her license for drink driving - she was 3 times over.

She was gone for a month and I caught a really bad case of flu and gave in and asked her to come home.

I took her back. Sorted out a hairdressing apprenticeship for her and to her credit she stayed off the booze and we were really going somewhere.

Now almost 12 months since she left and destroyed my life the first time by taking my baby she has managed to do it again.

Trust me none of the above is embelished or exagerrated, its what has really happened since we have been together. We are completely different people who see life in different ways.

She needs a ******* to keep her happy and its something I can't be. I play computer games and collect Transformers. She needs someone who goes out every weekend with "the lads" and gets up to no good etc. I don't do that and she doesn't know how to deal with it so she is the one doing the going out bit, behaving like a *** etc.

I'm such a bleeding sucker, I point all this out and it all sounds pretty horrific but we'll probably stay together.

DCI Gene Hunt

So there we have it then.........

1. Have some **** sex with her
2. Kick her **** out
3. Paternity test on the child
4. Post pictures of her naked on scoobynet

Sorted...................................


SERIOUSLY...... just read the above......... DUMP HER NOW.....

EddScott

It was desperate I guess. Things were starting to go wrong during the week I bought the ring. I think I was trying too hard and women hate that.


She'd been texting one of these agony column things for advice on what to do - it wasn't that good.

And yes, more fool me sadly

David Lock

I know an awful lot of couples, married and unmarried, who are very happy together but where one of the partners has strayed at some time or other. Of course it tests the relationship at the time but many (most??) seem to get through it and come out of the other side. Of course only YOU can decide but your daughter's well being must be a huge factor. Don't rub your g/f's nose in it as it won't help even if it makes you feel better

scoobynutta555

After reading above there's only one solution.

APPLY FOR THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW NOW!

EddScott

I must say her background and family are prime candedates. Personally its not for me.

I have no issue with our daughter being mine - she looks like me and her personality is basically a carbon copy of me. Shes only 4 but she won't put up with my GFs take on life for long. I can see them falling out badly in later life and I'll be there to pick up the pieces.

It does all sound very JS and the the life most C havs would crave. My scoob is blue and it did have gold alloys but, please god, I'm not a C hav!

I'm not a C hav - I fancy goths for FFS! Although shes a bit C havy I must say.

Miss Kinky

kids get over it...

scoobynutta555

I've had 2 blue scoobs with gold wheels

You sound like an alright bloke, but she don't seem right for you at all. Take some time apart.

DCI Gene Hunt

Dude you are one SICK wacko...........

anyhoo I do believe SNet has more than it's fair share of coffin lovin/snake-owning/depressing music lovin/black eyeline wearing goths to keep you entertained for the next 5 years

PPPMAT

I have gone/ am going through this right now. My wife of 2 years (lived together 6 been together 15 yrs) had an affair (is still) and I found out after it had been going on for months.

I loved her deeply and still do (3 months on) but within 3 days of finding out I was sat in front of a solicitor doing the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It was very very tough and the first 2 months were hell. It still isn't pleasant but I am determined to only go through this once with her.

My personal viewpoint is that a line had been crossed and regardless of the reasons it was over. It was simpler for me though as she never pleaded to come back after I chucked her out and we have no kids and the affair was going on for some time.

My only piece of advice to you is look at the longterm and your happiness. I knew I could never be happy with my wife again after what had happened and so I went immediately for divorce and I have never changed my mind about my gut reaction. The easiest thing to do is take her back but you have to ask yourself whether that is right long term or is it likely to lead to a prolonged period of pain.

If your not sure I think marriage guidance/counselling is the way forward for you but I would say that a spell apart would be wise for a little bit. Also remember that the longer you do spend apart the less likely you are to get back together.

If you are sure then still get counselling if you take her back but if you are going to get rid do it quickly and start the grieving process. Its the toughest thing in the world and I speak from awful experience but you must look after your own wellbeing and mental health in the end.

Cheers and good luck

Matt

Fuzz

Reading that and some of the other stuff you've written Scott, just brings it all back for me too.
I could see "her ways" were not to my liking and her parents were bordering on scary, (her father was a drunk) yet I thought I could handle it and spent most of my savings on a ring and proposed.(which she kept)
Towards the end of the relationship I was looking to retrieve it before I told her I was leaving, but I think either she could "see it coming" or knew exactly what I was up to, anyway what I did was
GOT THE **** OUT......
Drove off one night in a few tears with her hanging off the door handle pleading for me to come back when the realisation set in I meant it!!

Best thing I ever did to be honest..

My advise for you is to kick the bitch into touch. Your kid (if it is your kid ) will adapt, I'm sure your little un will be resilient enough to cope with it all.
From all you've said in post #62 I think youv'e given her enough chances to "mend her ways", it looks to me like she doesn't want to change what she is (which is her prerogative) and it's time you moved on and found someone who you don't need to change.


Andy

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Its one in the bank mate, whenever you fancy a bit on the side you have justification, in fact go to a brothel and make her pay for the extras.

My mate tried to **** my missus, I expected that he would, dirty old dog just cant help himself, so predictable, dont see him anymore but didnt really fall out as my missus feels physically sick whenever she see him (bit slimy) so I made allowances for the old perv.

Spoon

J4CKO, I didn't have you down for falling for that old chestnut.

Oh and EddScott, reading your last post it appears you really are just not suited.

Chip Sengravy

Don't stick it out for the sake of it, and put yourself through more pain just for the kiddie. It sounds cruel, but kids can soon adjust to situations they don't really understand.

You are barking if you stick with this girl, sorry to say it, but she sounds a total ****.

Gav-WRX

Edd, if you still love her and feel that you two can still make it work then maybe you should think about giving her another chance. But if you feel that you honestly dont think you can ever trust her again then you have to finish it. You have to think really hard about what you want especially when as you have a daughter involved.

AudiLover

**** that tart side ways. Proppa batter the **** out of him but do it cleverly, so polica cant do you. Then give that slag anotehr chance. Outline to teh bitch that if she steps out of line again its over and her *** is on the street. May I ask how old she is?

Actually now that I have read the rest Id **** her up to and take the kid. Infact my number one priority at the moment would be to collect evidence to one day use againt the ***** to make sure you have custody of your child. This bitch can turn your kid into a crackhead.

Jay m A

iTrader: (2)

Firstly, don't leave the house.

If there were no kids then its a no brainer - I doubt you'd be with her by now anyway.

The only reason to stay is for your child. It does seem that by what you've said, it would be detrimental to your daughers upbringing if you wasn't around 24/7

Its a tough call

406dude

I'm going through this at the mo, so I feel I can comment. Splitting from my partner of 6 years, two kids, house set up as stated in your situation.

If she has a decent solicitor the first thing that will be mentioned is Schedule 1, Section 15 of the Children's Act 1989. This makes it possible for property transfers and lump sum payments to be made to the person with care of the kids. The property transfer for the kids then reverts back to you when the kids reach 18 (or 21 if still in education. In order to enable her to take any equity for herself from the house she would have to prove that there was an explicit arrangement made between yourselves - unlikely in your case but Oxley vs Hiscock (I think!) has cast a new light over it. In my situation a property transfer (for the kids) is unlikely as I cannot demonstrate that I can afford another house elsewhere plus still fund the mortgage on my present house.

Lump sum transfer will depend on your assets. This is where she may be able to make a claim. In my situation, I have agreed (and am having an agreement drawn up) to transfer £35k to my ex partner. My solicitor feels that this is a reasonable sum given my position, and I'm happy to make it. This will enable her to set up and not have to worry about the kids financially for a while. It really depends on how you want to play it. Personally, a court battle is expensive and takes money away from the kids, which no one needs.

CSA will request 15% of your net income on top of this for monthly maintainence for 1 child.

HTH

Freelance Badger

Sorry to hear. Been through something similar (luckily not with a child involved which makes it easier) and the ONLY real solution is to get her out of your life. I'm afraid she will do it again. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. There are nice people out there - although I'm still looking...
I was really upset for about a year - but now have calmed down - even met the kid she had with her 'new' bloke. She was married and pregnant within a year of splitting with me.

Harrow

Just stumbled across this site, looks like I will be looking out for Subaru 'wives' they sound nice and easy

paulwrxboro

edd after reading post 62
she is going to take this **** outa you for the rest of your life im in no doubt
this will only happen if you let it /go back

she has without doubt been ******** this bloke ,she hasent been meeting for coffe

and she has shagged her mates bf thats 2 you know of

for me mate i can only say leave or live a life of pain
i know it cant be easy but you could turn your life around in a year and still be a good dad

good luck what ever you do

disclamer AIMO

paul-s

It sounds like with her coming off the pill and not telling you that she may have even planned for the cushdy lifestyle shes got, house/being looked after, etc.

But inside shes too different to you, and she wants to play away..

Alas

Depends on the type of person you are. You'll always do what you think is right rather than follow advice from here.
Type of person I am means 1 strike and your out. Both myself and the wife are the same so if one of us strays we both know its over. The child should not be the issue of whether you stay together - just who she will be with.
Sorry m8 - you just have to make your mind up & then live with it.

kingofturds

iTrader: (1)

Took my gf of 5 years back after she cheated on me, she then ran of with my best mate. so in my biassed view she probably will.

"Chuck the bitch out. Fine to take the girl back once but if she takes the pi$$ a second time she's really not worth bothering with"

best advice I never took

CooperS

I would so run a mile from her Edd

I dumped my last GF cos she sulked at me for 4 hours

P1Fanatic

Like Ive said on some of the other relationship posts - there must be something in the air the last couple of months with the amount of break ups on here. Either that or you only tend to notice these threads more when your also having problems.

Id say from your posts that you really dont have that much in common. Opposites may attract but to keep things going you have to have some things in common. She is getting far more out of this relationship than you and still she felt the need to cheat on you. I know Id find it very hard to trust someone again after that - youd be checking her phone, keeping tabs on her whereabouts and thats not a nice way to live.

Ive been pretty cut up the last month after splitting with my girlfriend of 4 years but its nothing anywhere like whats happened to you. We only split because she wanted to do different things and it was an amicable agreement (although one of the hardest decisions of my life). Even so its hard as we still live together whilst I try and buy her share of the house out. Every day I still think about getting back with especially as she looks fitter than ever (the old "you want what you cant have" adage applies here I think). As my mates keep saying, everything happens for a reason and you will meet someone else who is even better. Doesnt stop you constantly thinking "what if" though

Simon.

EddScott

Thanks for all the replies.

Last night was a rough one. The lad she'd been messing with kept ringing the house phone and cutting it off when I answered.

Not 20 minutes later 4 take away deliveries turned up at the house - obviously this lad.

I told her to call him and sort out the mess she started. He was asking her where he stood. She said she already told him it was a mistake and to leave her alone. He just mouthed off at her ("I am Jacks inflamed sense of rejection") and I took the phone.

Few strong words were passed and he thought it was funny to send those takeaways to the house and would I find it funny to come round my house and "Smash my face in" I just laughed at him. He said they had slept together and I asked when but it was obvious he was trying to upset me. She'd had a bloody great pole stuck up her for a scan at the hospital because of pains down there (Fibroids) so its highly unlikely she would have wanted anything else in there for a while. I thought this pain thing was just a blag to stop us being together but the fibroids are real and it hurts her loads.

Back to show; the lad then turns up at the bottom of my drive kicking off. Out I go and although hes younger I'm no fighter but hey, it would make her feel much worse to see my face in bits. My GF grabbed me and some mate of his who followed him held him back so a proper Jerry Springer moment was had by all!!!

I know some have said not to leave the house but we can't stay together anymore. I don't know what the future holds but if nothing else we need time apart and I can't stand being in our house anymore. We've told our daughter (trust me, shes mine btw) that I've got to go away to work for a few days. I can't just kick them out because she has nowhere and I've seen the local council offerings and I wouldn't let my cat live there. My income won't support two houses and to be honest I couldn't give a monkeys about the money. If I have to sell and I have to give her half then at least I know she'll be in a better position to look after our daughter.

If after some time apart I still want her back, then I will, but this really is the last of the last. I have a job waiting for me in Gibraltar whenever I want so I've got some other options irrespective of the future.

We were plannning a weeks break to drive a 1978 Capri from Gib back to the UK to sell. I might just go on my own and have a nice long think on the way back.

edit/ Its so annoying when this sort of thing happens AND THEN they realise what they've done. She was completely devastated when I walked out this morning with my bag packed. Shes a complete mess! It happened when she left last year. She was gone for 4 weeks and basically had a break down, stopped eating and couldn't do anything - she lost 2 stone in the process in a month.

davegtt

That sounds like a real plan, some time apart, some time to think, and a nice drive through some good roads in a classic motor to clear the head. good luck with your future, I know its not easy to be hurting. But make it clear to her that your going for that think, and dont think that because your gone its a green light for her to go and see this bloke. But saying that, she could make your decision easier if that happens.

DCI Gene Hunt

You are confused and acting like a complete tit.............

You need to send her back to her mothers child et al..............

FFS dude, don't you get it!! she screwed around on you...... you will NEVER be able to trust her again..... and time is NOT a great healer, it just provides a period for ill feelings to fester.... and they will, and she will end up hating you more (as you her) and screwing around more........

Call it a day NOW......... go through the breakup pain barrier while you still can, and it will cause less damage to your daughter, and you may (and I use the term sparingly) just come out the otherside as friends.......

If not then expect to be crying over your keyboard in the next 12 months.....

And stop fighting in the street like a feckin Chav for all your neighbours to laugh at......