SN agony aunts ahoy! - If they do it once, they'll do it again?
06 September 2006, 08:22 AM
#124
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I appreciate there are more blokes on SN but so far the list of partners whove done the dirty is somewhat heavily balanced on the female side. Come on ladies fight your corner 
Simon
Simon
06 September 2006, 08:43 AM
#125
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Originally Posted by P1Fanatic
I appreciate there are more blokes on SN but so far the list of partners whove done the dirty is somewhat heavily balanced on the female side. Come on ladies fight your corner
Simon
Simon
06 September 2006, 08:53 AM
#126
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Originally Posted by P1Fanatic
I appreciate there are more blokes on SN but so far the list of partners whove done the dirty is somewhat heavily balanced on the female side. Come on ladies fight your corner
Simon
Simon
Maybe its because they spend all their time on this forum whilst their women craves attention?
Or maybe its because women are evil bitches.
I'll go with the second option
06 September 2006, 09:17 AM
#128
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Come on now, you're not being very fair!! Were not ALL bitches!!.. I think cheating happens on both sides, its just that there's more males on this forum to tell there stories!!..
Carla..
I think cheating happens on both sides, its just that there's more males on this forum to tell there stories!!..Carla..
06 September 2006, 09:24 AM
#129
Originally Posted by miss*scoobygav555*
Come on now, you're not being very fair!! Were not ALL bitches!!.. I think cheating happens on both sides, its just that there's more males on this forum to tell there stories!!..
Carla..
I think cheating happens on both sides, its just that there's more males on this forum to tell there stories!!..Carla..
06 September 2006, 09:58 AM
#137
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A further piece of advice, if you haven't already done so (and I'll shout it cos it is that important!) GET PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY NOW
With you not being married, and given the age of your daughter you do not automatically have it, even if you are on the birth certificate. The mother automatically has it, even given her behaviour. She can change your daughter's name, move abroad, make important life changing decisions without your consent. Not so if you have PR. Don't need GF's consent and can apply for it relatively easily.
Really irks me that married men get it automatically. Don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but as an eg. if Steve Irwin was British he would automatically have had PR for his children, even though he thought it a good idea to dangle one of them in front of a 12 foot crocodile.
With you not being married, and given the age of your daughter you do not automatically have it, even if you are on the birth certificate. The mother automatically has it, even given her behaviour. She can change your daughter's name, move abroad, make important life changing decisions without your consent. Not so if you have PR. Don't need GF's consent and can apply for it relatively easily.
Really irks me that married men get it automatically. Don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but as an eg. if Steve Irwin was British he would automatically have had PR for his children, even though he thought it a good idea to dangle one of them in front of a 12 foot crocodile.
06 September 2006, 10:27 AM
#144
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Been there, done that, best thing to do is get rid TBH
Easy to say when you are on the outside, or if you have allready been ****ed over in the past.
not so easy to do when your head is in bits......
but it still needs doing
Easy to say when you are on the outside, or if you have allready been ****ed over in the past.
not so easy to do when your head is in bits......
but it still needs doing
06 September 2006, 10:55 AM
#148
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Originally Posted by EddScott
Probably what will happen.
I've been through so much over the years.
She'd lost a child in the August, met me in October and was pregnant by February. No I didn't use protection but then again, no she didn't tell me she stopped taking the pill at christmas.
We found out she was pregnant went out with people whom I really didn't like and the guy started on me and beat me up - I paniced, drove home and he rang the police - I was only just over as I'm not a big drinker and I lose my GTIR and my license for 12 months.
Shes always liked a drink and once she started, nothing else mattered (this is a carbon copy of her parents attitude once drunk - they are pretty **** to be honest and barely capable of looking after themselves let alone kids)
Anyway, she got really bad drinking and one night we had a right set to and she went over to a neighbours house. She spent a good couple of hours at their house but I didn't find out till later that her friend wasn't there and she spent the time with her friends BF. We had a massive row and she left me for her parents. The same friends that have dropped her in it this time came round once she'd left to say that during a fight between this friend and the BF he said they'd slept together on the living room floor. I always felt that this was just him being an **** and trying to hurt his partner but now this has come up and she lied about the length of time the two were together makes me think well maybe something did happen.
During this time she also spent one night after working in a bar drinking with another girl till 4am and got nicked and lost her license for drink driving - she was 3 times over.
She was gone for a month and I caught a really bad case of flu and gave in and asked her to come home.
I took her back. Sorted out a hairdressing apprenticeship for her and to her credit she stayed off the booze and we were really going somewhere.
Now almost 12 months since she left and destroyed my life the first time by taking my baby she has managed to do it again.
Trust me none of the above is embelished or exagerrated, its what has really happened since we have been together. We are completely different people who see life in different ways.
She needs a ******* to keep her happy and its something I can't be. I play computer games and collect Transformers. She needs someone who goes out every weekend with "the lads" and gets up to no good etc. I don't do that and she doesn't know how to deal with it so she is the one doing the going out bit, behaving like a *** etc.
I'm such a bleeding sucker, I point all this out and it all sounds pretty horrific but we'll probably stay together.
I've been through so much over the years.
She'd lost a child in the August, met me in October and was pregnant by February. No I didn't use protection but then again, no she didn't tell me she stopped taking the pill at christmas.
We found out she was pregnant went out with people whom I really didn't like and the guy started on me and beat me up - I paniced, drove home and he rang the police - I was only just over as I'm not a big drinker and I lose my GTIR and my license for 12 months.
Shes always liked a drink and once she started, nothing else mattered (this is a carbon copy of her parents attitude once drunk - they are pretty **** to be honest and barely capable of looking after themselves let alone kids)
Anyway, she got really bad drinking and one night we had a right set to and she went over to a neighbours house. She spent a good couple of hours at their house but I didn't find out till later that her friend wasn't there and she spent the time with her friends BF. We had a massive row and she left me for her parents. The same friends that have dropped her in it this time came round once she'd left to say that during a fight between this friend and the BF he said they'd slept together on the living room floor. I always felt that this was just him being an **** and trying to hurt his partner but now this has come up and she lied about the length of time the two were together makes me think well maybe something did happen.
During this time she also spent one night after working in a bar drinking with another girl till 4am and got nicked and lost her license for drink driving - she was 3 times over.
She was gone for a month and I caught a really bad case of flu and gave in and asked her to come home.
I took her back. Sorted out a hairdressing apprenticeship for her and to her credit she stayed off the booze and we were really going somewhere.
Now almost 12 months since she left and destroyed my life the first time by taking my baby she has managed to do it again.
Trust me none of the above is embelished or exagerrated, its what has really happened since we have been together. We are completely different people who see life in different ways.
She needs a ******* to keep her happy and its something I can't be. I play computer games and collect Transformers. She needs someone who goes out every weekend with "the lads" and gets up to no good etc. I don't do that and she doesn't know how to deal with it so she is the one doing the going out bit, behaving like a *** etc.
I'm such a bleeding sucker, I point all this out and it all sounds pretty horrific but we'll probably stay together.
if you are taking her back after this then you really need to look at your own self esteem and confidence, would you take her back because you are completly happy and in love with her, or because you dont feel you deserve any better?
go off for a few days and think long and hard about yourself, the situation and your girlfriend... do some work on yourself to build up your confidence again, ask yourself if you are really happy with this girl..
i think, if you dont realise it in the next few days, somewhere down the line you will wake up and realise you are worth more than this, are better than this and dont need to be with someone who treats you this way..
your child is still fairly young, and yes she will be affected by it if you split as you two being together is all she knows, but kids adapt alot faster than adults, and surely it is better that your girl is brought up with 2 happy parents being apart than with two angry and unhappy parents being together? the latter will have a much more significant affect on her future than the first.
if your girlfriend loved you and was happy and satisfied with your relationship she wouldnt be looking for attention from anyone else. she lacks self esteem and confidence in herself, but so do you by letting her treat you this way.
like i say, take some time out to find yourself again, ask yourself if you are happy with who you are, happy with your life, happy with your girlfriend...at the end of the day only you can make yourself happy, no one else.
my partner and i split about 10 weeks ago, we had trudged along for a few years because we had a child, house etc etc, but neither of us was happy being together, so we both agreed to split and are both much happier now, the house is being sorted, my son is becoming used to the situation and is still a happy confident loving little boy he always was... if we hadnt looked at ourselves when we did and admitted we wernt happy then i have no doubt that down the line, had we of stayed together, one or both of us would of cheated to fill the void that we wernt getting from each other.... and then things would of been bitter and full of hate, whereas now we are friends and put our sons happiness first before anything we may feel about the other one, everything is being sorted in an adult and amicable way... if anythign everyone is much much more relaxed and happy then they have been for years.
do it now, really ask yourself all the questions even the hard ones, think of yourself, your happiness, your life... dont drag out the inevitable and screw everyone up with battles, arguments, hurt and anger... cos the only one that will really suffer in the long term is your daughter.
