Wurzel

iTrader: (1)

Broken jaw in 3 places in bike accident, 2 steel plates in jaw.
Broken left ankle in climbing accident,
Broken right ankle and ripped ligament in different bike accident, wire in ankle.
Broken thumb playing rugby, last year against the US Army.

mad_dr

Knocked down by a car aged 7 (it was a bloody Spitfire too - the humiliation!), damaged knee caps that I suspect now to be a long term fluid trap.
Various normal childhood illnesses throughout school.
Running through tall grass at a friend's farm when my right foot stopped suddenly - seems that someone had abandoned a well concelaed garden fork in the grass which had impaled itself into my right foot between the 2nd and 3rd toe. Had to pull the fot out myself and leave a trail of blood the 200 metres back to the house!

Cycling with friends two days before a holiday to France, aged 10 when the chain slipped off the front gears and my foot came off the pedal. The chain ring slipped effortlesly through my calf muslces, again leaving a nice blood trail back home. Funnily enough, it severed the nerves so I didn't feel a thing. I wasn't even upset until someone pointed out that they could see "the giblets coming out"... Then I cried! 14 stiches and 3 nice long scars were the result!

Then other various illnesses and ailments until my 17th birthday when I fell off my skateboard, landed akwardly and hit my head. I was only unconscious for a couple of seconds but had a good case of tunnel vision immediately afterwards and couldn't walk in a straight line. Went back to my friend's house who's parents brought me home. Apparently I was white as a sheet at the time. I can remember feeling very nauseous which is common for head injuries and my parents took me to the hospital in Cirencester. We waited for an hour or so and were finally seen by a doctor who performed his tests and said that there was no concussion and that I should go home and rest. Spent the following day in bed vomiting and generally deteriorating and when my parents returned from work, they said that I was losing motor functions as the circuit breakers in my head began to go. I couldn't dress myself properly and couldn't focus or concentrate. Back to the hospital where they performed more tests and admitted me. I can remember trying to undress myself but vomiting too many times to make a good attempt

The next thing I knew was when I woke up 2 days later. A doctor came over and asked where I thought I was. When I replied Cirencester hospital, he chuckled - should have been a clue really... Seems that my condition worsened overnight on day 2 in Cirencester hospital and I was delirious and couldn't even get my hand to my mouth to drink or take tablets. Apparently it was so bad that I was talking even more crap than usual! The following morning the doctors were concerned about my deterioration and ran me over to Cheltenham for a brain scan. The scan revealed that I had had a brain haemorrhage and had developed a subdural haematoma (blood clot over the brain). Because of the time delay between the injury and the diagnosis was as long as it was (nearly 2 days), they arranged a police escort to clear the way down the M5 in rush hour, whilst the ambulance crew anesthetised me in the ambulance. It would have been exciting if I'd known anything about it! I was admitted to Frenchay and taken straight into the operating theatre and underwent an operation to open the cranium, remove the clot and halt the bleeding. I was stapled back up (24 staples) and moved to an ICU...

Happy birthday to me!

Still - even at the time, I considered myself to be infinitely more lucky than so many thousands of other children who suffer through severe illnesses, such as leukemia, etc.

Steve Whitehorn

iTrader: (13)

I could bore you with a long list
But nice to see that there are many others with bodies as f__ked as mine
Cheered me up that

Milamber

iTrader: (2)

Broken patella
Broken Femur
Broken Ulna x 3 places
Broken Radius x 2 places
Broken Ribs
Snapped all the fingers off my right hand (thumb was ok )
Broken wrist
Broken toes
Skin Grafts
Snapped tendons in left arm
dislocated elbow
Broken nose
Pins and plates all over
Bone grafts (they're fun, not )

Think that's the worst dealt with.

LG John

Are you guys just unlucky or bloody stupid I've only had a fractured arm and wrist and that is about it. Knocked myself out snowboarding once too

andyfish

Mmm......

Broken left humerus (no, it wasn't funny). Organised a sponsored bikeride for a local charity and borrowed my cousin's bike. Riding down a hill night before the actual sponsored ride I misjudged a corner and was assaulted by a lampost. (My cousin was riding competitively on a handbuilt bike from USA to his specification........he never did get a replacement )

Fell through a georgian glass window and cut artery in left arm, needing a trip to theatre and lots of blood to make up the difference.

Complete rupture of left achilles tendon (made the same kind of noise as riping a chicken leg from the carcass ) when playing badminton.

Broke 3 ribs playing footty with family and friends after a few (far too many) beers.

Tore calf muscle (playing badminton, again!) - doesn't half leave a great bruise in the shape of a sock


Decided to keep fat, instead of fit

mad_dr

What was the cause of the above injuries (single accident I presume?)

DCI Gene Hunt

A broken heart
A headache
& Man Flu (came close to death but survived )

RMA26

PMSL

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Wanked myself into a coma at fourteen.

You lot are very clumsy.

Abdabz

Broken wrist in a playground fight at 14. The prat I was fighting knew he was going to lose so tried to kick me in the nuts... I blocked the kick with my wrist and it snapped Good job my nuts never took the force of the boot...
Broken finger falling over playing twizzies round a brush when drunk... After hearing what happend to the lad in Blackpool this week I feel very lucky
Lots of muscle / tissue damage in a downhill mountain bike ride last summer...Took 3 months to be able to put on a rucksack again
Had a dart thrown through my kneecap at 17, couldnt walk for 2 weeks, hole in knee, passed out, fluid on knee was immense etc...

Chris L

LOL - nealry lost the coffee over the keyboard reading that one

This whole thread is great - reads a bit like the old Monty Python sketch - the injuries get gradually worse and more descriptive

I'm afraid I can only muster minor stuff like chipping bones in both wrists (different incidents) as a kid and dislocating my shoulder last year, which was incredibly painful and I wouldn't wish that on anyone!

Scooby Snacks 23

Rugby related:

Broken both ankles
Broken 3 fingers on right hand
Broken right shoulder blade (clavical I think it was called)
4 knee operations on right knee (2 cartilidge removal, 1 for synthetic cartilidge implant and last one was ACL reconstruction).
Broken nose

Car Accident related:

2 broken ribs and a punctured lung (after venturing from the rear seat through the front windscreen)

Drinking related:

Broken nose (again) and broken cheekbone after I mouthed off and someone who looked tiny but was in fact huge!

talizman

iTrader: (1)

5 x dislocated shoulders - Taekwon-Do
Torn ACL - Taekwon-Do
Broken ribs - Taekwon-Do
Torn hamstring - Taekwon-Do
Broken knuckles - Taekwon-Do
Broken toes - Taekwon-Do
Concussion - Taekwon-Do
Torn ligaments in ankles - Taekwon-Do

Hmmmmm something tells me I should chuck the TKD

Fuzz

I'd find another hobby Talizman...

How about reading books about Taekwon-Do


Andy

Alas

Okey dokey
Here's a few
Sport related(Boxing & Judo)
Over 100 stitches (I was a bleeder & not very good)
Broken wrist
Broken knuckle x 2
Cracked Rib x 2
Broken Nose

Navy related - too much booze
Broken cheekbone
Fractured Jaw
Broken wrist x 2
Broken ankle
Broken thumb
Cartilage replaced
Perforated Eardrum


Normal life
2 ops for a duff kidney
Broken ankle
Cracked vertebrae in spine
Dislocated finger (knacked so happens frequently)
Broken collar bone
Lots more stitches

I'm now held together by fishing line and sticky back plastic

JamieMacdonald

I've probably done worse than the lot of you, but as I'm pretty tough I never went to the hospital, so never found out what specific injuries I've had.

...apart from one time when I just had to go to hospital as I had a REALLY bad ingrowing toenail which required a MAJOR operation (local anaesthetic) to sort out. My surgeon even got some of my blood on her nurses uniform.

I've made a good recovery and my toe is now ok.... the mental scars will take longer to heal though.

Scoob99

iTrader: (1)

Fractured my Skull in 2 places after coming off a motorcycle and hit the back of a 40ft artic, sadly that bang on the head caused me to have epileptic fits.
Broke a finger and an arm.
Then in 1996 I was hit by a drunk driver at 100+mph head on smashed my right leg myright knee hip, and seriously damaged my back, but the air bag saved my life, I was trapped for over 3 hours in the wreckage and they thought I was going to die, when the police arrived at the scene it was such a mess they radioed it through as a fatal, but I don't die that easy
Plus I had meningitis at 18 months old, and a brain tumour in 1998 but hey I'm alive but not kicking so much as my right leg is and can be very painful
Cheers
Colin

tmo

bloody hell !!!!

ScoobyDoo555

Still, you gotta larf!!

DAn

WR1Nikki

shattered my ankle playin hockey and split my thumb knuckle in half also playin hockey and its still like it as its stuck in my ligaments.
ive fallen off my horse cross country jumping and almost ended up in a wheel chair for the rest of my life, ive stood on a nail and it went right through my foot, when i was 3 i fell over and a screw driver went into my eye.
i rolled my VW polo and almost shredded my leg down to the bone whilst bein dragged on the tarmac, cut the back of my head open in another car accident and i now have whiplash and all the muscles in my right shoulder r damaged.

i think thats it

WR1Nikki

shattered my ankle playin hockey and split my thumb knuckle in half also playin hockey and its still like it as its stuck in my ligaments.
ive fallen off my horse cross country jumping and almost ended up in a wheel chair for the rest of my life, ive stood on a nail and it went right through my foot, when i was 3 i fell over and a screw driver went into my eye.
i rolled my VW polo and almost shredded my leg down to the bone whilst bein dragged on the tarmac, cut the back of my head open in another car accident and i now have whiplash and all the muscles in my right shoulder r damaged.

i think thats it

oh ive broken a rib show jumping my horse too

RMA26

JESUS!

WR1Nikki

it sounds worse than wot it is, none of it really hurt though which is strange, high pain threshold i guess

RMA26

It was the Screwdriver bit.......

WR1Nikki

i was too young to remember but i no i was in the hospital for 7 hours while dr's figured out how to get it out, thenkfully it went under the eye not actually in it so it wasn't that bad but it was the eye drops that hurt the most they stung like hell but it took 5 nurses to hold lil old me down so my mum told me

davegtt

Hmmm, lets see.

Cut my head open so many times Ive lost count although I have at least 3 scars to count. Once hit on the head with a brick by my best mate whist I was cycling past him once pushed into a wall by another mate knocking me clean out and once having a stone fight with a group of mates on a building site cutting my eye brow open making it look like I have a permenant shaved line through my eye brow (Got some good mates havent I? ) Cycling as fast as I could when I was about 14 head down round the block in a race, did it for years almost every day nothing ever parked on these streets yet this particular day there was a Truck (not a small one either) parked there, I had my head down and cycled full pelt into it bruised my bollocks for a whole month

Appendicities. Funny story that one, parents were away for a weekend when they came back I was being sick and having bad stomach pains and I got so much stick off my dad cause he thought Id been taking drugs took ages to convince him before they took me to the hosiptal only to have an emergency op, it nearly burst inside me

Playing football at school and took a nasty tackle giving me internal bleeding in my ankle, my foot swelled up like a balloon, again teacher calling me a fairy for it too spent forever on crutches...lol

Nothing else really apart from a few bruised egos etc that I can think off.

Editted to add that I got a piece of rust in my eye, not just in my eye but actually cut into my eye whilst changing a starter motor on a renault 5, I couldnt close my eye lid and couldnt pick it out at all, I had a black dot in my eye sight because it was sat right over my pupil hospital spent ages trying to pick it out with tweezers, I hate anything to do with eyes, talking about it have my eyes watering now

RMA26

Bit of a handful then

When i did my hips (somewhere in this thread) the thing which hurt like hell was the traction, twice the adult weight at 13 years of age to pull them back down to be pinned, bone grinding - HORRID

Back to normal now tho, then there was the wired Jaw through boxing.....

WR1Nikki

that sound painfull, wot happened to ur jaw?

RMA26

I started boxing at 15 & went semi pro at 18

I fought at 16+ stone & had a sparring partner the same weight, basically we ended up fighting each other, he ended up with 6 broken ribs & me with a broken & wired jaw for 6 months....