Getting someone out your head.
14 December 2006, 01:08 AM
#61
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Originally Posted by Fuzz
One other thing that spooked me (before I go, just remembered)
Split up with her years ago, moved on.
One Christmas decided to go to London for a bit of Christmas shopping, (not something we used to do together either..)
I was looking at the pavement, wandering along and accidentally bumped shoulders with someone, looked up from my daydream to apologise just as she looked up to say the same.
Weird **** like that freaks me out about it. like we were suppose to be there...
Anyway... bed
Split up with her years ago, moved on.
One Christmas decided to go to London for a bit of Christmas shopping, (not something we used to do together either..)
I was looking at the pavement, wandering along and accidentally bumped shoulders with someone, looked up from my daydream to apologise just as she looked up to say the same.
Weird **** like that freaks me out about it. like we were suppose to be there...
Anyway... bed
. It's good to see constructive things happening. But, if the re-union is to aim for more destruction, they are better apart.
Do you regret not getting back with her? Or, did you get back with her and regretted that?
Last edited by Turbohot; 14 December 2006 at 01:17 AM.
14 December 2006, 08:19 AM
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Destroy all pictures you have of her and anything you own that reminds you of her.
Get rid of any presents she gave you.
Delete anything on your PC to do with her (you could send any sensitive material to me for safe keeping - just in case you do get back together
).
After about a year you should stop thinking about her every day.
After 5 years it should be once a month.
After that - just when people on message boards remind you of something that happened to yourself 20 years ago
.
Get rid of any presents she gave you.
Delete anything on your PC to do with her (you could send any sensitive material to me for safe keeping - just in case you do get back together
).After about a year you should stop thinking about her every day.
After 5 years it should be once a month.
After that - just when people on message boards remind you of something that happened to yourself 20 years ago
.
get stuffed
14 December 2006, 08:29 AM
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If she's 'the one' then write to her, do all the cheesy **** that other people have suggested, do everything you feel you can do while still being true to yourself to get her back.
If it doesn't work then sod it - you've given it your best shot and it wasn't to be. Move on. It stops hurting after a while and you find happiness elsewhere. I did. Eventually...
But if it does work then Yay for you! And you've not sold out or tried to be something you're not - that way lies madness.
SB (Not usually one for this type of thread but remembering how I felt)
If it doesn't work then sod it - you've given it your best shot and it wasn't to be. Move on. It stops hurting after a while and you find happiness elsewhere. I did. Eventually...
But if it does work then Yay for you! And you've not sold out or tried to be something you're not - that way lies madness.
SB (Not usually one for this type of thread but remembering how I felt)
14 December 2006, 08:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Sbradley
If she's 'the one' then write to her, do all the cheesy **** that other people have suggested, do everything you feel you can do while still being true to yourself to get her back.
If she doesn't like you the way you are then forget her.If you try to change to please her the best you can hope for is not having any kids when you get divorced !
14 December 2006, 08:58 AM
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Originally Posted by brumdaisy
wot he says ^^^ and show her this thread... it'll still take a lot of work to prove to her that you're serious but making a t!t of yourself on t'internet is a good start
if she doesnt show any appreciation then sorry she is a robot born bitch!!!
Good luck
14 December 2006, 09:29 AM
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You know, if you asked me a few months ago I would have sat and agreed with everybody on this message board. win her back if its what you want, chase until she gives you that chance etc.
After a few life changing weeks I look at things completely different now. For a start this woman your chasing, if she really wanted to be with you then she would be. She isnt and thats enough to know that even if you get her back shes not going to be entirely happy. Your going to be spending too much time proving to her who you can be etc rather than enjoying the time together. It isnt good for a relationship, you'll be putting in too much effort and IMO relationships shouldnt be like that, off course all relationships need effort but in the sence that one does the cooking the other does the washing type thing. Not the type of effort trying to be somebody who your partner would like.
I dont know if any of this is useful to you or not, you asked for opinions so here is mine. Live your life your way and even though you havent met the girl that turns your attention away from the other, it will happen eventually.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
After a few life changing weeks I look at things completely different now. For a start this woman your chasing, if she really wanted to be with you then she would be. She isnt and thats enough to know that even if you get her back shes not going to be entirely happy. Your going to be spending too much time proving to her who you can be etc rather than enjoying the time together. It isnt good for a relationship, you'll be putting in too much effort and IMO relationships shouldnt be like that, off course all relationships need effort but in the sence that one does the cooking the other does the washing type thing. Not the type of effort trying to be somebody who your partner would like.
I dont know if any of this is useful to you or not, you asked for opinions so here is mine. Live your life your way and even though you havent met the girl that turns your attention away from the other, it will happen eventually.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
14 December 2006, 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted by davegtt
You know, if you asked me a few months ago I would have sat and agreed with everybody on this message board. win her back if its what you want, chase until she gives you that chance etc.
After a few life changing weeks I look at things completely different now. For a start this woman your chasing, if she really wanted to be with you then she would be. She isnt and thats enough to know that even if you get her back shes not going to be entirely happy. Your going to be spending too much time proving to her who you can be etc rather than enjoying the time together. It isnt good for a relationship, you'll be putting in too much effort and IMO relationships shouldnt be like that, off course all relationships need effort but in the sence that one does the cooking the other does the washing type thing. Not the type of effort trying to be somebody who your partner would like.
I dont know if any of this is useful to you or not, you asked for opinions so here is mine. Live your life your way and even though you havent met the girl that turns your attention away from the other, it will happen eventually.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
After a few life changing weeks I look at things completely different now. For a start this woman your chasing, if she really wanted to be with you then she would be. She isnt and thats enough to know that even if you get her back shes not going to be entirely happy. Your going to be spending too much time proving to her who you can be etc rather than enjoying the time together. It isnt good for a relationship, you'll be putting in too much effort and IMO relationships shouldnt be like that, off course all relationships need effort but in the sence that one does the cooking the other does the washing type thing. Not the type of effort trying to be somebody who your partner would like.
I dont know if any of this is useful to you or not, you asked for opinions so here is mine. Live your life your way and even though you havent met the girl that turns your attention away from the other, it will happen eventually.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
I think thats the way i am going to go.
14 December 2006, 09:43 AM
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We live our lives in a goldfish bowl of what we know and are comfortable with. This tends to focus us on thinking things and people are more important than they really are. You need a bit of perspective. Sort a few trips away with your mates. do different cities in the UK. you'll soon meet loads of different women and see there are loads of options who could be 'the one'. Just enjoy looking while you do
14 December 2006, 09:43 AM
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..... just don't do the flowers thing, or the choccies thing... pleeeeeease!
Many women in this situation would actually be pi**ed off at this - "so a box of chocs is all you'll think it'll take!!!".... you can see where this would go from there. Not exactly demonstrating your hearts deeeeepest feelings now is it? All the creativity of 5 mins in Co-Op.
My missussessees feels patronised by someone offering flowers as an apology or whatever. Women (dons flame suit) are NOT simpletons.
In this thread, people have said that you shoud stay true to yourself, and she should like you for what you are.
That is 100% true.100% true..... But ONLY if she knows 100% about you.
It is very clear here, that she does not know everything there is to know about you. The heartfelt, romantic has been hidden away from her it would seem. As you have said, you don't share your feelings too often (perhaps only on the internet that applies) but you need to be certain that this element of your character is known to her. You haven't changed into an 80's man who thinks it's 'OK' to cry just to get her back. You are real, these feelings are real, they have always been, will always be and you need to demonstrate to her that you have this facet to your nature.
It's not an indian, a pub and a ****. It's much more connected than that.
I fear you don't know the answer to this, but there will be something she 'is', something that lifts her spirits whenever this event/thing/item happens.... remember what it was/is ?? If so, there's a possible starting point.
My opinion is that it's a continual thing too. Not just a one off event to win her back. DAMN IT! IF YOU LOVE HER - GET THE F*CK ON WITH LOVING HER.
That's every day, not just to win her back. Are you up for it? You mentioned even the possibility of marriage.... is that what she's after too? Kids n all? Make sure your future vision of happiness is similar to hers or as a previous poster said, lets hope there aren't too many kids caught up in the divorce.
Try to be a little creative, asking for help is so great,really, but my good man - we don't know her, so all your going to get are comments falling into two camps (very broadly speaking) - "go get her" or "forget her" - no way can anyone here say that for sure to you. Only you can decide if she is THE ONE, if so, search your deepest feelings, and memories... find that trigger - Have you ever asked yourself WHY do you love so hard??? Ask it 5 times, each time you answer, ask why to that answer... or say so what? to the answer - it'll challenge you to think right down to the real truth. There's a way to start composing a letter, with the output from that. Tough stuff to do - but you will do it.
I sincerely wish you the very best, both of you.
Mike
Many women in this situation would actually be pi**ed off at this - "so a box of chocs is all you'll think it'll take!!!".... you can see where this would go from there. Not exactly demonstrating your hearts deeeeepest feelings now is it? All the creativity of 5 mins in Co-Op.
My missussessees feels patronised by someone offering flowers as an apology or whatever. Women (dons flame suit) are NOT simpletons.
In this thread, people have said that you shoud stay true to yourself, and she should like you for what you are.
That is 100% true.100% true..... But ONLY if she knows 100% about you.
It is very clear here, that she does not know everything there is to know about you. The heartfelt, romantic has been hidden away from her it would seem. As you have said, you don't share your feelings too often (perhaps only on the internet that applies) but you need to be certain that this element of your character is known to her. You haven't changed into an 80's man who thinks it's 'OK' to cry just to get her back. You are real, these feelings are real, they have always been, will always be and you need to demonstrate to her that you have this facet to your nature.
It's not an indian, a pub and a ****. It's much more connected than that.
I fear you don't know the answer to this, but there will be something she 'is', something that lifts her spirits whenever this event/thing/item happens.... remember what it was/is ?? If so, there's a possible starting point.
My opinion is that it's a continual thing too. Not just a one off event to win her back. DAMN IT! IF YOU LOVE HER - GET THE F*CK ON WITH LOVING HER.
That's every day, not just to win her back. Are you up for it? You mentioned even the possibility of marriage.... is that what she's after too? Kids n all? Make sure your future vision of happiness is similar to hers or as a previous poster said, lets hope there aren't too many kids caught up in the divorce.
Try to be a little creative, asking for help is so great,really, but my good man - we don't know her, so all your going to get are comments falling into two camps (very broadly speaking) - "go get her" or "forget her" - no way can anyone here say that for sure to you. Only you can decide if she is THE ONE, if so, search your deepest feelings, and memories... find that trigger - Have you ever asked yourself WHY do you love so hard??? Ask it 5 times, each time you answer, ask why to that answer... or say so what? to the answer - it'll challenge you to think right down to the real truth. There's a way to start composing a letter, with the output from that. Tough stuff to do - but you will do it.
I sincerely wish you the very best, both of you.
Mike
14 December 2006, 09:47 AM
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Originally Posted by STi wanna Subaru
We live our lives in a goldfish bowl of what we know and are comfortable with. This tends to focus us on thinking things and people are more important than they really are. You need a bit of perspective. Sort a few trips away with your mates. do different cities in the UK. you'll soon meet loads of different women and see there are loads of options who could be 'the one'. Just enjoy looking while you do
Michael Douglas aint got a patch on me when it comes to addicition
14 December 2006, 09:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Fuzz
You'll live a lie constantly trying to be the person you think she wants rather than being yourself...
14 December 2006, 09:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Mikey Ace
..... just don't do the flowers thing, or the choccies thing... pleeeeeease!
Many women in this situation would actually be pi**ed off at this - "so a box of chocs is all you'll think it'll take!!!".... you can see where this would go from there. Not exactly demonstrating your hearts deeeeepest feelings now is it? All the creativity of 5 mins in Co-Op.
My missussessees feels patronised by someone offering flowers as an apology or whatever. Women (dons flame suit) are NOT simpletons.
In this thread, people have said that you shoud stay true to yourself, and she should like you for what you are.
That is 100% true.100% true..... But ONLY if she knows 100% about you.
It is very clear here, that she does not know everything there is to know about you. The heartfelt, romantic has been hidden away from her it would seem. As you have said, you don't share your feelings too often (perhaps only on the internet that applies) but you need to be certain that this element of your character is known to her. You haven't changed into an 80's man who thinks it's 'OK' to cry just to get her back. You are real, these feelings are real, they have always been, will always be and you need to demonstrate to her that you have this facet to your nature.
It's not an indian, a pub and a ****. It's much more connected than that.
I fear you don't know the answer to this, but there will be something she 'is', something that lifts her spirits whenever this event/thing/item happens.... remember what it was/is ?? If so, there's a possible starting point.
My opinion is that it's a continual thing too. Not just a one off event to win her back. DAMN IT! IF YOU LOVE HER - GET THE F*CK ON WITH LOVING HER.
That's every day, not just to win her back. Are you up for it? You mentioned even the possibility of marriage.... is that what she's after too? Kids n all? Make sure your future vision of happiness is similar to hers or as a previous poster said, lets hope there aren't too many kids caught up in the divorce.
Try to be a little creative, asking for help is so great,really, but my good man - we don't know her, so all your going to get are comments falling into two camps (very broadly speaking) - "go get her" or "forget her" - no way can anyone here say that for sure to you. Only you can decide if she is THE ONE, if so, search your deepest feelings, and memories... find that trigger - Have you ever asked yourself WHY do you love so hard??? Ask it 5 times, each time you answer, ask why to that answer... or say so what? to the answer - it'll challenge you to think right down to the real truth. There's a way to start composing a letter, with the output from that. Tough stuff to do - but you will do it.
I sincerely wish you the very best, both of you.
Mike
Many women in this situation would actually be pi**ed off at this - "so a box of chocs is all you'll think it'll take!!!".... you can see where this would go from there. Not exactly demonstrating your hearts deeeeepest feelings now is it? All the creativity of 5 mins in Co-Op.
My missussessees feels patronised by someone offering flowers as an apology or whatever. Women (dons flame suit) are NOT simpletons.
In this thread, people have said that you shoud stay true to yourself, and she should like you for what you are.
That is 100% true.100% true..... But ONLY if she knows 100% about you.
It is very clear here, that she does not know everything there is to know about you. The heartfelt, romantic has been hidden away from her it would seem. As you have said, you don't share your feelings too often (perhaps only on the internet that applies) but you need to be certain that this element of your character is known to her. You haven't changed into an 80's man who thinks it's 'OK' to cry just to get her back. You are real, these feelings are real, they have always been, will always be and you need to demonstrate to her that you have this facet to your nature.
It's not an indian, a pub and a ****. It's much more connected than that.
I fear you don't know the answer to this, but there will be something she 'is', something that lifts her spirits whenever this event/thing/item happens.... remember what it was/is ?? If so, there's a possible starting point.
My opinion is that it's a continual thing too. Not just a one off event to win her back. DAMN IT! IF YOU LOVE HER - GET THE F*CK ON WITH LOVING HER.
That's every day, not just to win her back. Are you up for it? You mentioned even the possibility of marriage.... is that what she's after too? Kids n all? Make sure your future vision of happiness is similar to hers or as a previous poster said, lets hope there aren't too many kids caught up in the divorce.
Try to be a little creative, asking for help is so great,really, but my good man - we don't know her, so all your going to get are comments falling into two camps (very broadly speaking) - "go get her" or "forget her" - no way can anyone here say that for sure to you. Only you can decide if she is THE ONE, if so, search your deepest feelings, and memories... find that trigger - Have you ever asked yourself WHY do you love so hard??? Ask it 5 times, each time you answer, ask why to that answer... or say so what? to the answer - it'll challenge you to think right down to the real truth. There's a way to start composing a letter, with the output from that. Tough stuff to do - but you will do it.
I sincerely wish you the very best, both of you.
Mike
Thanks for that
14 December 2006, 09:50 AM
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Originally Posted by davegtt
You know, if you asked me a few months ago I would have sat and agreed with everybody on this message board. win her back if its what you want, chase until she gives you that chance etc.
After a few life changing weeks I look at things completely different now. For a start this woman your chasing, if she really wanted to be with you then she would be. She isnt and thats enough to know that even if you get her back shes not going to be entirely happy. Your going to be spending too much time proving to her who you can be etc rather than enjoying the time together. It isnt good for a relationship, you'll be putting in too much effort and IMO relationships shouldnt be like that, off course all relationships need effort but in the sence that one does the cooking the other does the washing type thing. Not the type of effort trying to be somebody who your partner would like.
I dont know if any of this is useful to you or not, you asked for opinions so here is mine. Live your life your way and even though you havent met the girl that turns your attention away from the other, it will happen eventually.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
After a few life changing weeks I look at things completely different now. For a start this woman your chasing, if she really wanted to be with you then she would be. She isnt and thats enough to know that even if you get her back shes not going to be entirely happy. Your going to be spending too much time proving to her who you can be etc rather than enjoying the time together. It isnt good for a relationship, you'll be putting in too much effort and IMO relationships shouldnt be like that, off course all relationships need effort but in the sence that one does the cooking the other does the washing type thing. Not the type of effort trying to be somebody who your partner would like.
I dont know if any of this is useful to you or not, you asked for opinions so here is mine. Live your life your way and even though you havent met the girl that turns your attention away from the other, it will happen eventually.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
A superb post, really. There are so many ways to look at these situations.... It's a tough ride for a while.
Mikey
14 December 2006, 09:51 AM
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To be honest, as far as the writing letter goes ....... its a no-no. I have never been one for doing that. I dont feel i can express my feelings enough in a letter.
Thanks for the replys so far
Thanks for the replys so far
14 December 2006, 09:51 AM
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Originally Posted by sti-04!!
Thats one of my problems, i always enjoy looking
Michael Douglas aint got a patch on me when it comes to addicition
Michael Douglas aint got a patch on me when it comes to addicition
you'd probably get with this bird and then get bored of her or she'd do your head in. It's just something you cant have at the mo which is making you want it more. Get up to Leeds for a night out. Women falling out of the bars this time of year
14 December 2006, 09:54 AM
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Originally Posted by STi wanna Subaru
Well enjoy it while you can. you'll be old bald and fat one day and then all you'll be able to do is look
you'd probably get with this bird and then get bored of her or she'd do your head in. It's just something you cant have at the mo which is making you want it more. Get up to Leeds for a night out. Women falling out of the bars this time of year
you'd probably get with this bird and then get bored of her or she'd do your head in. It's just something you cant have at the mo which is making you want it more. Get up to Leeds for a night out. Women falling out of the bars this time of year
14 December 2006, 10:34 AM
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Suprised no one has asked for pics yet, isnt it obligatory in any relationship type thread to see pics of said woman before the SN massive can give 'honest' advice
If she doesn't have a sister, then try her mother
If she doesn't have a sister, then try her mother
14 December 2006, 10:36 AM
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Originally Posted by *Sonic*
Suprised no one has asked for pics yet, isnt it obligatory in any relationship type thread to see pics of said woman before the SN massive can give 'honest' advice
14 December 2006, 10:42 AM
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**** her sister.
Simple.
Simple.
On a serious note, dude.....if she has decided twice, not just once, she doesn't want to be with you there is nothing you can do about it.
Once they have that thought in their head, there is no point trying to change it...
and look at it this way, if she doesn't like you for you, there's no point wasting your time....if you're not ready to change like she has, then go on to the next....
I like to think there is a special girl out there for everyone....in some cases there are 2
14 December 2006, 10:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Norman D. Landing
**** her sister.
Simple.
Simple.
14 December 2006, 11:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Norman D. Landing
**** her sister.
Simple.
Simple.
