Relationship problems
18 December 2006, 02:00 PM
#31
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I think you should go off with Girl (B), Girl (A) sounds to good for you dude and deserves a real man, some dude who would appreciate her rather than necking some other tart out back in the local supermarket car park.
Think about this, what if she ( Girl (a) ) posted up a thread saying she was getting C**k from the local keebab shop owner and didnt know if she still wanted her husband as Stavros(A) and Stavros(B) double teamed her every wednesday night after aerobics. But she couldnt get Boyfriend (C) out of her head.....
think about it
Think about this, what if she ( Girl (a) ) posted up a thread saying she was getting C**k from the local keebab shop owner and didnt know if she still wanted her husband as Stavros(A) and Stavros(B) double teamed her every wednesday night after aerobics. But she couldnt get Boyfriend (C) out of her head.....
think about it
18 December 2006, 02:04 PM
#32
Originally Posted by Bateman
Think about this, what if she ( Girl (a) ) posted up a thread saying she was getting C**k from the local keebab shop owner and didnt know if she still wanted her husband as Stavros(A) and Stavros(B) double teamed her every wednesday night after aerobics. But she couldnt get Boyfriend (C) out of her head.....
think about it
think about it
Well said btw.
18 December 2006, 02:27 PM
#33
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My advice is not to pursue anything with Girl B but also not to jump at the chance and marry Girl A. I personally think you stand to lose a lot more if you jump ship at this stage - it sounds like there is nothing actually wrong with your existing relationship except that its perhaps gone a little stale and boring. If you move off to be with Girl B you'll have to build a relationship from scratch and that can so easily blow up in your face.
If I were you I'd take Girl B moving away as a blessing and pour my energy and effort into my existing relationship. If things aren't better in a year then perhaps you wrap it up - if they are then you can consider long-term committment.
If I were you I'd take Girl B moving away as a blessing and pour my energy and effort into my existing relationship. If things aren't better in a year then perhaps you wrap it up - if they are then you can consider long-term committment.
18 December 2006, 02:31 PM
#34
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Continue down this path with 'Girl A' & 'Girl B' and the only sex you'll be getting is from your 'Wrist C' 
You feckin old male slapper
You feckin old male slapper
18 December 2006, 02:52 PM
#38
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Dump Girl B - She's willing to have an affair
Dump Girl A - Sounds like She desreves better than you.
When you're on your own you should be able to decide which girl was the biggest mistake.
Alternatively - Imagine doing this and try to decide who you'd miss the most.
Dump Girl A - Sounds like She desreves better than you.
When you're on your own you should be able to decide which girl was the biggest mistake.
Alternatively - Imagine doing this and try to decide who you'd miss the most.
18 December 2006, 02:59 PM
#40
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I suspect that as Troubled has had to ask, that he will soon lose Girl A and Girl B and start having to make do with Hand A (until he f*cks up with Hand B and it all starts again!) !
18 December 2006, 03:00 PM
#41
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Originally Posted by troubled
OK,
quick introduction - I've been using scoobynet for years now on and off and respect the views of others on here, so I thought I'd ask for a bit of help/advice/feedback/whatever. This is a sensitive issue, so I have created this account for anonymity. This is a very serious post so anyone thinking of making jokes or otherwise being a **** can bugger off right now!
OK here goes:- Basically I have been with my girlfriend (girl A) for a long time (over 7 years) and quite happy. However, a couple of months ago I discovered that a friend (girl B) and I had feelings for each other. I told her that I was happy with my GF, and wouldn't leave her, yet for both of us the attraction was too strong and we have been (to put it bluntly) having an affair. When I say affair, I mean texting, emailing, meeting in carparks in the evening, talking and kissing. We both know that there's something very strong between us, and if I was single then we'd have started going out ages ago.
However, I am in a quandry because I have a good life - secure good job, lovely house, great friends and many other things. My GF loves me dearly, and it would break her heart if we split up. OK, so things with us aren't perfect, but I'm not asking for perfection in my life, I think one has to put up with the odd niggle in return for the good things. Girl B has yesterday moved to a new job hundreds of miles away before studying for a degree in september, probably overseas.
Basically WTF do I do??? Do I stick with my GF and marry her? Our relationship has gradually gone downhill over the years, however I think it is still rescuable should we wish to make it work. Or do I make the leap with girl B, bearing in mind that we've only known each other for a couple of months? What if I give up everything to be with her and it all goes ****-up after a couple of months? I'm old enough to know that life isn't just about sex, this affair hasn't been driven by lust at all, more a case of a friendship that has got out of control. The wierd thing is that I don't feel anything for my GF anymore, yet I miss girl B like crazy.
What girl B and I have decided is that we're going to stay in touch whilst she's away to see if there really is anything between us worth taking further. If we decide that we are not 'the ones' for each other then we will walk away and close the chapter in our lives. If we are 'the ones' then I guess I'll go for it. Either way, the stress has been massive and is making me ill, so I have to chose one way or the other.
OK, I think that's enough for you to go on, and I thankyou in advance for your comments. If you need more info, then just ask.
quick introduction - I've been using scoobynet for years now on and off and respect the views of others on here, so I thought I'd ask for a bit of help/advice/feedback/whatever. This is a sensitive issue, so I have created this account for anonymity. This is a very serious post so anyone thinking of making jokes or otherwise being a **** can bugger off right now!
OK here goes:- Basically I have been with my girlfriend (girl A) for a long time (over 7 years) and quite happy. However, a couple of months ago I discovered that a friend (girl B) and I had feelings for each other. I told her that I was happy with my GF, and wouldn't leave her, yet for both of us the attraction was too strong and we have been (to put it bluntly) having an affair. When I say affair, I mean texting, emailing, meeting in carparks in the evening, talking and kissing. We both know that there's something very strong between us, and if I was single then we'd have started going out ages ago.
However, I am in a quandry because I have a good life - secure good job, lovely house, great friends and many other things. My GF loves me dearly, and it would break her heart if we split up. OK, so things with us aren't perfect, but I'm not asking for perfection in my life, I think one has to put up with the odd niggle in return for the good things. Girl B has yesterday moved to a new job hundreds of miles away before studying for a degree in september, probably overseas.
Basically WTF do I do??? Do I stick with my GF and marry her? Our relationship has gradually gone downhill over the years, however I think it is still rescuable should we wish to make it work. Or do I make the leap with girl B, bearing in mind that we've only known each other for a couple of months? What if I give up everything to be with her and it all goes ****-up after a couple of months? I'm old enough to know that life isn't just about sex, this affair hasn't been driven by lust at all, more a case of a friendship that has got out of control. The wierd thing is that I don't feel anything for my GF anymore, yet I miss girl B like crazy.
What girl B and I have decided is that we're going to stay in touch whilst she's away to see if there really is anything between us worth taking further. If we decide that we are not 'the ones' for each other then we will walk away and close the chapter in our lives. If we are 'the ones' then I guess I'll go for it. Either way, the stress has been massive and is making me ill, so I have to chose one way or the other.
OK, I think that's enough for you to go on, and I thankyou in advance for your comments. If you need more info, then just ask.
You want advice?
Put your **** away and grow up.
What you are doing is grossly unfair on your current girlfriend. Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it?
18 December 2006, 11:47 PM
#45
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This thread could get seriously out of hand very quickly 
Anyway my 2ps worth.
I recently split with my g/f of 2.5 years. She said it was becuase she didn't love me anymore. She told me there was someone else she was interested in and that she thought he liked her too but nothing had yet happened. To be honest I believe her.
That was pure respect towards me from her and I can nothing but congratulate her for that.
If there had been someone else I am sure things would of been 000000's of times worse for me.
I was looking to ask her to marry me, and we were looking at houses to buy together and she stopped things before they were too complicated and even more difficult a few months down the road. Again made it easier on both.
The harsh reality is you do not love your current girlfriend and I honestly think that you can not make yourself love her again.
Be fair to Girl A mate and do the decent thing and don't ruin her chances of happiness with someone else, forget about Girl B as she will "Become friends" with someone while she is away.
Time for some "Quality time" with Wrist (c) while you sort your head out.
Cheers
S
Anyway my 2ps worth.
I recently split with my g/f of 2.5 years. She said it was becuase she didn't love me anymore. She told me there was someone else she was interested in and that she thought he liked her too but nothing had yet happened. To be honest I believe her.
That was pure respect towards me from her and I can nothing but congratulate her for that.
If there had been someone else I am sure things would of been 000000's of times worse for me.
I was looking to ask her to marry me, and we were looking at houses to buy together and she stopped things before they were too complicated and even more difficult a few months down the road. Again made it easier on both.
The harsh reality is you do not love your current girlfriend and I honestly think that you can not make yourself love her again.
Be fair to Girl A mate and do the decent thing and don't ruin her chances of happiness with someone else, forget about Girl B as she will "Become friends" with someone while she is away.
Time for some "Quality time" with Wrist (c) while you sort your head out.
Cheers
S
19 December 2006, 03:39 AM
#48
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Originally Posted by Janspeed
Beer, the cause and solution to ALL your problems!
Drink more and forget, it is the way of the JEDI!
Drink more and forget, it is the way of the JEDI!
DJ Vinyl Ritchie......... my advice to the thread starter is.......... fill your boots, while you can.
19 December 2006, 08:46 AM
#51
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own up to gf(a) that you have had an affair be honest with her. She will probably start crying/shouting/kicking/punching/biting (delete as applicable). If you have a heart you will feel like ****, and you will start to think with your brain and then you will realise if you love her and want to be with her then you will probably have to fight to keep her.
If gf(b) has already moved, then to me it says you dont/didnt come first (usually a good attribute to have when with women) and she doesnt really care about you, you were just there for the taking when she was bored. You were her plaything and she is probably seeing someone else already
If gf(b) has already moved, then to me it says you dont/didnt come first (usually a good attribute to have when with women) and she doesnt really care about you, you were just there for the taking when she was bored. You were her plaything and she is probably seeing someone else already
19 December 2006, 08:57 AM
#52
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You want advice?
Put your **** away and grow up.
What you are doing is grossly unfair on your current girlfriend. Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it?
Put your **** away and grow up.
What you are doing is grossly unfair on your current girlfriend. Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it?
19 December 2006, 09:51 AM
#53
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Ok I will try and be serious for you fella.
Im divorced, believe me it cost me, and it cost me big time, £250K in total, but you know what matey, if it aint right, it aint right, no matter what.
If your playing away then it wont stop IMHO, you may feel guilty and keep it going for a while but whatever started your doubts in the first place will suface again someway along the line.
It may be the fact that after you had been in a long term relationship then finding that another girl fancied you was flattering especially if she is fit (been there, got the t-shirt) and it is VERY tempting, it just depends on wether you act on it, and you did eh!!
I do understand that your girlie loves you to bits but you aint really being very fair to her eh?
And as for the other one, forget it matey, shes gone and thats it, over and out.
It is a very big dicision and it aint easy, but what I would say is take your time and use your head, dont stay in it if you are not 100% gonna stick with it and forget other girls, it may cost you a lot finacially too, but like I say I did it and lost a lot but I am with someone now i love to bits and I wouldnt change my decision at all. I pulled myself up and 5 years on I have a scooby a House and although moneys not great i get by.
good luck!
Im divorced, believe me it cost me, and it cost me big time, £250K in total, but you know what matey, if it aint right, it aint right, no matter what.
If your playing away then it wont stop IMHO, you may feel guilty and keep it going for a while but whatever started your doubts in the first place will suface again someway along the line.
It may be the fact that after you had been in a long term relationship then finding that another girl fancied you was flattering especially if she is fit (been there, got the t-shirt) and it is VERY tempting, it just depends on wether you act on it, and you did eh!!
I do understand that your girlie loves you to bits but you aint really being very fair to her eh?
And as for the other one, forget it matey, shes gone and thats it, over and out.
It is a very big dicision and it aint easy, but what I would say is take your time and use your head, dont stay in it if you are not 100% gonna stick with it and forget other girls, it may cost you a lot finacially too, but like I say I did it and lost a lot but I am with someone now i love to bits and I wouldnt change my decision at all. I pulled myself up and 5 years on I have a scooby a House and although moneys not great i get by.
good luck!
19 December 2006, 12:36 PM
#54
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I suspect that after a year or so, you won't be with either of them.
HTH
HTH
19 December 2006, 05:40 PM
#56
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Thanks for all the advice guys, keep it coming! More info for you. Girl B isn't gone yet, it a 'gone home for xmas' type thing. I will no doubt find out her thoughts about me in the next 2 weeks whilst we're apart. As to her going to uni - she's going purely to study (mature student), not to enjoy herself like I did, so I don't think there's any excessive worry about her finding someone else. I would go and live with her anyway.
Having cake and eating it? I don't think so, this whole situation is WAY too much stress, which is why I have to chose one or the other.
Biggest ****? Girl B as you asked, however both girls are mighty fine in their own ways. Which is the problem, although they're fairly different people I have feelings for each of them for what they are. I'm certainly not thinking with my ****, I've been there and done that.
Why is life so $hit???? 
Having cake and eating it? I don't think so, this whole situation is WAY too much stress, which is why I have to chose one or the other.
Biggest ****? Girl B as you asked, however both girls are mighty fine in their own ways. Which is the problem, although they're fairly different people I have feelings for each of them for what they are. I'm certainly not thinking with my ****, I've been there and done that.
Why is life so $hit????
19 December 2006, 05:44 PM
#57
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Originally Posted by troubled
Thanks for all the advice guys, keep it coming! More info for you. Girl B isn't gone yet, it a 'gone home for xmas' type thing. I will no doubt find out her thoughts about me in the next 2 weeks whilst we're apart. As to her going to uni - she's going purely to study (mature student), not to enjoy herself like I did, so I don't think there's any excessive worry about her finding someone else. I would go and live with her anyway.
Having cake and eating it? I don't think so, this whole situation is WAY too much stress, which is why I have to chose one or the other.
Biggest ****? Girl B as you asked, however both girls are mighty fine in their own ways. Which is the problem, although they're fairly different people I have feelings for each of them for what they are. I'm certainly not thinking with my ****, I've been there and done that.
Why is life so $hit????
Having cake and eating it? I don't think so, this whole situation is WAY too much stress, which is why I have to chose one or the other.
Biggest ****? Girl B as you asked, however both girls are mighty fine in their own ways. Which is the problem, although they're fairly different people I have feelings for each of them for what they are. I'm certainly not thinking with my ****, I've been there and done that.
Why is life so $hit????
its something that you have caused yourself, all sold out of sympathy here dude. You know the risks involved. I just hope Girl (A) finds out kicks your *** out into the cold....
Aaaaaaaythangyou !!!
19 December 2006, 05:47 PM
#58
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Originally Posted by troubled
Why is life so $hit????
Go out & buy the latest Take That album & a copy of Brokeback Mountain, get a few bottles of white & treat Girl A to some **** loving.
19 December 2006, 05:50 PM
#59
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It seems as if you are only with A as you daren't chance it with B in case it doesn't work out and you don't want to be on your own. Are you able to clear off somewhere and think about this - its not fair on A who has done nothing wrong here.
19 December 2006, 05:52 PM
#60
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Originally Posted by sti-04!!
Life is only what you make of it ..... tell you what.
Go out & buy the latest Take That album & a copy of Brokeback Mountain, get a few bottles of white & treat Girl A to some **** loving.
Go out & buy the latest Take That album & a copy of Brokeback Mountain, get a few bottles of white & treat Girl A to some **** loving.
I am starting to pick up on a theme here
