What would you do?
04 April 2007, 10:31 PM
#31
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Brighton no more
Posts: 2,170
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
No idea at all; not having kids is the most green thing I do - I've no idea what the carbon footprint is for a sprog but I'm guessing it's huge, lol.
No-one has to have kids, so no-one should have to put up with it?
Discuss...
No-one has to have kids, so no-one should have to put up with it?
Discuss...
04 April 2007, 10:50 PM
#32
(Flame Suit On)
There are some pretty typical responses from parents here..
"you haven't had children", "how would you know", and not said but certainly implied "how dare you complain about our wonderful offspring keeping you up! HOW DARE YOU!?".
I would like to think that if I had a young child who was going through 'issues' I would make a habit of talking to the neighbours, apologising and explaining what was going on - simply to keep on good terms.
So, yes, many of us do not have children, however, that does not mean that there shouldn't be some equal consideration from those who have when their children are affecting a neighbours quality of life. You might not be able to turn your child down - but the attitude that other people just have to put up with it and not say a word in comment is disgusting imho.
(And yes, think of the CO2 production and carbon footprint of a child! - yet you get given money to have them and the government tries to treat us as social leapers for driving Imprezas - Madness I say, MADNESS!
)
There are some pretty typical responses from parents here..
"you haven't had children", "how would you know", and not said but certainly implied "how dare you complain about our wonderful offspring keeping you up! HOW DARE YOU!?".
I would like to think that if I had a young child who was going through 'issues' I would make a habit of talking to the neighbours, apologising and explaining what was going on - simply to keep on good terms.
So, yes, many of us do not have children, however, that does not mean that there shouldn't be some equal consideration from those who have when their children are affecting a neighbours quality of life. You might not be able to turn your child down - but the attitude that other people just have to put up with it and not say a word in comment is disgusting imho.
(And yes, think of the CO2 production and carbon footprint of a child! - yet you get given money to have them and the government tries to treat us as social leapers for driving Imprezas - Madness I say, MADNESS!
)
Last edited by Prasius; 04 April 2007 at 10:53 PM.
05 April 2007, 08:01 AM
#34
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Runway two seven right.
Posts: 6,652
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
(Flame Suit On)
There are some pretty typical responses from parents here..
"you haven't had children", "how would you know", and not said but certainly implied "how dare you complain about our wonderful offspring keeping you up! HOW DARE YOU!?".
I would like to think that if I had a young child who was going through 'issues' I would make a habit of talking to the neighbours, apologising and explaining what was going on - simply to keep on good terms.
So, yes, many of us do not have children, however, that does not mean that there shouldn't be some equal consideration from those who have when their children are affecting a neighbours quality of life. You might not be able to turn your child down - but the attitude that other people just have to put up with it and not say a word in comment is disgusting imho.
(And yes, think of the CO2 production and carbon footprint of a child! - yet you get given money to have them and the government tries to treat us as social leapers for driving Imprezas - Madness I say, MADNESS! )
There are some pretty typical responses from parents here..
"you haven't had children", "how would you know", and not said but certainly implied "how dare you complain about our wonderful offspring keeping you up! HOW DARE YOU!?".
I would like to think that if I had a young child who was going through 'issues' I would make a habit of talking to the neighbours, apologising and explaining what was going on - simply to keep on good terms.
So, yes, many of us do not have children, however, that does not mean that there shouldn't be some equal consideration from those who have when their children are affecting a neighbours quality of life. You might not be able to turn your child down - but the attitude that other people just have to put up with it and not say a word in comment is disgusting imho.
(And yes, think of the CO2 production and carbon footprint of a child! - yet you get given money to have them and the government tries to treat us as social leapers for driving Imprezas - Madness I say, MADNESS!
)
The comment compared a crying child to loud music. Poor comparison IMHO.
If the child in question is crying for en extended period every night, I would imagine the parents are suffering such sleep deprivation that every quiet moment is spent resting. Chatting to the neighbours isn't probably on the list of top priorities.
For those non parents amongst us try this at home. Just to get a flavour of the first few months of having a new baby. After all YOUR parents went through it for you !
For this experiment you will need:
1, A device to wake you at random intervals from 22:00 to 08:00
2, A set of powerful headphones ( we wouldn't want to wake the neighbours now would we?
) 3, A recording, on loop, of a baby, screaming its head off.
4, A large wheat bag for you to hold. This is to simulate "rocking the baby"
Now, for the next 12 to 18 months, allow yourself to be woken up up to 5 times a night by the device in 1. Then go and heat random bottles of water ( simulating a babies bottle ) in your microwave, while slowly "rocking the baby". Then put on the headphones and listen the screaming child for anything between 15 and 90 minutes.
Don't forget to get up for work the next day.
05 April 2007, 08:10 AM
#35
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (1)
Join Date: Jan 1999
Location: UK
Posts: 15,271
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
(Flame Suit On)
There are some pretty typical responses from parents here..
"you haven't had children", "how would you know", and not said but certainly implied "how dare you complain about our wonderful offspring keeping you up! HOW DARE YOU!?".
I would like to think that if I had a young child who was going through 'issues' I would make a habit of talking to the neighbours, apologising and explaining what was going on - simply to keep on good terms.
So, yes, many of us do not have children, however, that does not mean that there shouldn't be some equal consideration from those who have when their children are affecting a neighbours quality of life. You might not be able to turn your child down - but the attitude that other people just have to put up with it and not say a word in comment is disgusting imho.
There are some pretty typical responses from parents here..
"you haven't had children", "how would you know", and not said but certainly implied "how dare you complain about our wonderful offspring keeping you up! HOW DARE YOU!?".
I would like to think that if I had a young child who was going through 'issues' I would make a habit of talking to the neighbours, apologising and explaining what was going on - simply to keep on good terms.
So, yes, many of us do not have children, however, that does not mean that there shouldn't be some equal consideration from those who have when their children are affecting a neighbours quality of life. You might not be able to turn your child down - but the attitude that other people just have to put up with it and not say a word in comment is disgusting imho.
I am sure that the very great majority of parents would do all they can to be sympathetic with the neighbours as you have suggested, which is wonderful insight for someone who does not have a child yet
And this morning I have been rudely awoken at 6am by a shouting baby - unfortunately I can only complain to my inconsiderate spouse as we live in a very detached house
Rannoch
05 April 2007, 08:22 AM
#36
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 26,619
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
(Flame Suit On)
There are some pretty typical responses from parents here..
"you haven't had children", "how would you know", and not said but certainly implied "how dare you complain about our wonderful offspring keeping you up! HOW DARE YOU!?".
I would like to think that if I had a young child who was going through 'issues' I would make a habit of talking to the neighbours, apologising and explaining what was going on - simply to keep on good terms.
So, yes, many of us do not have children, however, that does not mean that there shouldn't be some equal consideration from those who have when their children are affecting a neighbours quality of life. You might not be able to turn your child down - but the attitude that other people just have to put up with it and not say a word in comment is disgusting imho.
(And yes, think of the CO2 production and carbon footprint of a child! - yet you get given money to have them and the government tries to treat us as social leapers for driving Imprezas - Madness I say, MADNESS! )
There are some pretty typical responses from parents here..
"you haven't had children", "how would you know", and not said but certainly implied "how dare you complain about our wonderful offspring keeping you up! HOW DARE YOU!?".
I would like to think that if I had a young child who was going through 'issues' I would make a habit of talking to the neighbours, apologising and explaining what was going on - simply to keep on good terms.
So, yes, many of us do not have children, however, that does not mean that there shouldn't be some equal consideration from those who have when their children are affecting a neighbours quality of life. You might not be able to turn your child down - but the attitude that other people just have to put up with it and not say a word in comment is disgusting imho.
(And yes, think of the CO2 production and carbon footprint of a child! - yet you get given money to have them and the government tries to treat us as social leapers for driving Imprezas - Madness I say, MADNESS!
)
05 April 2007, 08:28 AM
#37
Scooby Regular
In all fairness, Prasius has got a strong point. As a parent of two, I am of the same opinion, that you have to be respectful of other people's privacy/concerns..... I used to cringe when my 1st daughter was being vocal at rather unsociable hours, but at the end of the day, there's only so much you can do. The key thing is that it's not for long either (in terms of the child's life)....
You could argue that dog-owners have the same issue, but you choose to have a animal ie lower down the evolutionary scale.....
However, another arguement could be that as the highest species on the planet, everybody (well, that IS a different arguement!) has a right to procreate.
As a result, for the human race to continue, procreation must take place.
The fact that you (as of yet) have not had children is your decision.
But there has to be a degree of respect between those of differing opinions (what AM I saying?!!! This is Scoobynet!)
I do take you point (and agree) that there are a lot of parents who get on their high-horses about this type of thing. Bear in mind that the only reason parents get defensive as that deep down, they know they wouldn't like it if it was the other way around.
The fact of the matter is that kids crying/children noises are a fact of life - bit like the weather (**** all you can do about it!)
Dan
You could argue that dog-owners have the same issue, but you choose to have a animal ie lower down the evolutionary scale.....
However, another arguement could be that as the highest species on the planet, everybody (well, that IS a different arguement!) has a right to procreate.
As a result, for the human race to continue, procreation must take place.
The fact that you (as of yet) have not had children is your decision.
But there has to be a degree of respect between those of differing opinions (what AM I saying?!!! This is Scoobynet!
)I do take you point (and agree) that there are a lot of parents who get on their high-horses about this type of thing. Bear in mind that the only reason parents get defensive as that deep down, they know they wouldn't like it if it was the other way around.
The fact of the matter is that kids crying/children noises are a fact of life - bit like the weather (**** all you can do about it!
) Dan
05 April 2007, 08:32 AM
#38
wow - you'd think popping around a neighbours and saying "billys having some issues with teething, its driving us mad, so I hope its not affecting you too badly", to have the majority of reasonable people say "we heard him! no problem, hope he gets through it soon" was such a massive, life changing effort for you all to make.
Edit: Thanks Dan, that was simply the point I was trying to make. I knew I'd get some "anti" replies though!
Edit: Thanks Dan, that was simply the point I was trying to make. I knew I'd get some "anti" replies though!
Last edited by Prasius; 05 April 2007 at 08:36 AM.
05 April 2007, 08:38 AM
#40
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Tellins, Home of Super Leagues finest, and where a "split" is not all it seems.
Posts: 5,504
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
If you are a noisy neighbour and do nothing to appease those living next door, you fully deserve and should expect much wrath.
05 April 2007, 08:44 AM
#41
Scooby Regular
All well and good Abdabz, but that noise is something that can be controlled.
If the couple in question came round to your house and said, "Look, we're going to be at it like rabbits tonight for the entire time we'll be living next door. Could get a bit raucous and noisy"........ kind of takes the p1ss. That's intentional noise pollution.
With a child/other member of the family, particularly one who has no understanding of the need to be quiet and respect other's right to sleep, how do you stop them from making noise? Forcefully? I think not.
Many parents will take the "noise" out in the car at stupid o'clock just to get them back to sleep. Many a night I have done that (suprisingly, the Scoob's decat rumble used to send my youngest off a treat!)...
DAn
If the couple in question came round to your house and said, "Look, we're going to be at it like rabbits tonight for the entire time we'll be living next door. Could get a bit raucous and noisy"........ kind of takes the p1ss. That's intentional noise pollution.
With a child/other member of the family, particularly one who has no understanding of the need to be quiet and respect other's right to sleep, how do you stop them from making noise? Forcefully? I think not.
Many parents will take the "noise" out in the car at stupid o'clock just to get them back to sleep. Many a night I have done that (suprisingly, the Scoob's decat rumble used to send my youngest off a treat!)...
DAn
05 April 2007, 08:48 AM
#42
It was a little bit of mild trolling on my part actually . (Pah, so incite me... )
As for the OP, and the complaints that he was assuming child abuse. Well what do you do? You have to make an assumption at some point - assume the best and end up with a seriously abused/dead child or assume the worst and end up with a bit of wasted time and embarressment?
The thing that always surprises me with topics such as this is how little people seem to know their neighbours. Maybe its because I've always lived in a small village or on barracks that I've always known a reasonable amount about those who live around me, which goes quite a long way in creating understanding about these things. A product of surburban life I guess, but it is kind of sad I think.
. (Pah, so incite me... )As for the OP, and the complaints that he was assuming child abuse. Well what do you do? You have to make an assumption at some point - assume the best and end up with a seriously abused/dead child or assume the worst and end up with a bit of wasted time and embarressment?
The thing that always surprises me with topics such as this is how little people seem to know their neighbours. Maybe its because I've always lived in a small village or on barracks that I've always known a reasonable amount about those who live around me, which goes quite a long way in creating understanding about these things. A product of surburban life I guess, but it is kind of sad I think.
05 April 2007, 09:20 AM
#43
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 897
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
If you choose to have kids - This is one of the things you have to put up with for the first year(s)
So why should I automatically have to?
How about moving the Cot away from a party wall - Or taking the child with you when you are making a bottle?
Either one of these would reduce the noise levels.
Last edited by michaelro; 05 April 2007 at 02:13 PM. Reason: Incorrect Post Quoting Author
05 April 2007, 09:21 AM
#44
Scooby Regular
Gone are the days where everybody knows their neighbours. Certainly not as much as in the "good 'ole days"....
Personally, I live in a small rural town and am lucky to know quite a few of my neighbours. Not on a major basis, but enough to talk to and keep an eye out for each other.
My last house, on the outskirts of a big city, I knew ONE neighbour, and that wasn't on a "pally" basis.
It was a real pleasant surprise when my neighbours came to talk to me when we moved in. (despite the fact the house alarm went off for two weeks whilst we were on holiday - a week after we moved in!
)
It's a shame, as your neighbours are usually the ones who can get you out of the whatsit very quickly - much before your family can.....
As stated, a sad fact of modern life....
Dan
Personally, I live in a small rural town and am lucky to know quite a few of my neighbours. Not on a major basis, but enough to talk to and keep an eye out for each other.
My last house, on the outskirts of a big city, I knew ONE neighbour, and that wasn't on a "pally" basis.
It was a real pleasant surprise when my neighbours came to talk to me when we moved in. (despite the fact the house alarm went off for two weeks whilst we were on holiday - a week after we moved in!
)It's a shame, as your neighbours are usually the ones who can get you out of the whatsit very quickly - much before your family can.....
As stated, a sad fact of modern life....
Dan
05 April 2007, 09:24 AM
#45
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 26,619
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
As for the OP, and the complaints that he was assuming child abuse. Well what do you do? You have to make an assumption at some point - assume the best and end up with a seriously abused/dead child or assume the worst and end up with a bit of wasted time and embarressment?
05 April 2007, 09:28 AM
#46
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 26,619
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Michaelro - post #44 - You quoted something that I didn't post. Anyway - once you have kids and they don't cry for hours on end for no apparent reason, can you come back and post about how you did it, because I am certain 99% of parents would love to know this secret
05 April 2007, 09:46 AM
#47
Isn't this simply an issue of being socially minded? I don't understand what the issue is when a simple apology and chat could save so much resentment and hassle with a neighbour.
05 April 2007, 01:06 PM
#48
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Brighton no more
Posts: 2,170
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Having kids is a choice. I get (very, very slightly; it's not a hang-up or anything) peeved with it all; special parking spaces for cars with kids, bawling kids on planes, mothers using pushchairs as battering rams to clear the pavement etc. etc.
If you want a kid, fine, but I don't really want to be bothered by the thing... Just cos the disturbance came from you or your partner's tw@t doesn't make it less of a disturbance, lol.
I do, however, appreciate that they can't be just 'turned off'. I'd suggest having a word with the neighbours as already stated above, or maybe sound-proofing the baby room?
If you want a kid, fine, but I don't really want to be bothered by the thing... Just cos the disturbance came from you or your partner's tw@t doesn't make it less of a disturbance, lol.
I do, however, appreciate that they can't be just 'turned off'. I'd suggest having a word with the neighbours as already stated above, or maybe sound-proofing the baby room?
05 April 2007, 02:11 PM
#49
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 897
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
The point that most parents are trying to make is that michaelro has decided that the neighbours are bad parents and are neglecting their child while he has no actual experience to base that decision on. Fair enough - his wife is a nurse - kids do not generally get admitted to hospital long term for teething trouble/colic etc etc. The kids she sees are ill, so any prolonged crying might indicate pain and suffering. For most babies, crying is the only way they have of getting attention.
05 April 2007, 02:38 PM
#50
Scooby Regular
Fair play, you sound like you've got some great neighbours IThe cynic in me doubts than many people are in the same position though.......
We do actually have similar types of neighbours though, as the rapport we have is similar to you
Key thing is respect - a novelty in today's Great Britain
Dan
IThe cynic in me doubts than many people are in the same position though.......We do actually have similar types of neighbours though, as the rapport we have is similar to you
Key thing is respect - a novelty in today's Great Britain
Dan
Dan, I don't agree
We live in a small cull-de-sac of 12 semis and know all our neighbours, despite me being a bloody foreigner. We even have an annual barbie, when we close the street and set up a marquee, bouncy castle etc. They are decent folk and we have frequently tested the water with respect to our little boy's crying, as he was a 'mare when he was little due to colic. Just as our direct neighbour has checked with us with respect to their occasionally loud techno music. The houses are well-built with 18" thick walls and nobody really hears a thing. Even then we act respectfully towards each other and that way everyone gets on!
Noisy neighbours of a non-apologetic variety should not have to be tolerated IMHO.
We live in a small cull-de-sac of 12 semis and know all our neighbours, despite me being a bloody foreigner. We even have an annual barbie, when we close the street and set up a marquee, bouncy castle etc. They are decent folk and we have frequently tested the water with respect to our little boy's crying, as he was a 'mare when he was little due to colic. Just as our direct neighbour has checked with us with respect to their occasionally loud techno music. The houses are well-built with 18" thick walls and nobody really hears a thing. Even then we act respectfully towards each other and that way everyone gets on!
Noisy neighbours of a non-apologetic variety should not have to be tolerated IMHO.