Need advice, what would you do?
08 August 2007, 07:22 AM
#31
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I've just read this post and what came to my mind straight away is why dont you email him a funny joke or something along them lines it lets him know then that you know that he has a new email account he might just crap himself and do something about it or if he chooses to ignore it take him to one side and tell him you know and that he should have more respect for your mum and if he doesnt tell her you will. It might just make him think a bit more about what he's going to throw away.
My dad had a affair on my mum but i was only 7 and didnt really understand it all back then. But now when i think about it im 21 soon and it disgusts me and i would really want to chop his **** off. I then also realised that its 15 years since ive seen him and that makes me even angrier but to be honest i wouldnt want to see him. he's never sent anything for birthdays or christmas so he can **** right off for all i care.
But only you know what the right thing is to do.
Good Luck
Best Wishes
Stephb
My dad had a affair on my mum but i was only 7 and didnt really understand it all back then. But now when i think about it im 21 soon and it disgusts me and i would really want to chop his **** off. I then also realised that its 15 years since ive seen him and that makes me even angrier but to be honest i wouldnt want to see him. he's never sent anything for birthdays or christmas so he can **** right off for all i care.
But only you know what the right thing is to do.
Good Luck
Best Wishes
Stephb
08 August 2007, 08:00 AM
#32
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1) If your dad doesn't know much about computers I would have thought you could come up with a way of saying you came across some of the e-mails - whilst you were moving files around to tidy up hard disc or something?
2) Don't say anything to your mum.
3) It's probably a **** driven thing after many years of marriage.
4) You can only face your dad and tell him what he is possibly throwing away and perhaps destroying your mum's happiness (for a few years at least).
5) Of course you must think about the other side of the coin. If he does go off after a while your mum might be happier and enjoy a new lease of life? After all the kids (you
) are grown up so they don't need to stay together for the sake of the children.
dl
2) Don't say anything to your mum.
3) It's probably a **** driven thing after many years of marriage.
4) You can only face your dad and tell him what he is possibly throwing away and perhaps destroying your mum's happiness (for a few years at least).
5) Of course you must think about the other side of the coin. If he does go off after a while your mum might be happier and enjoy a new lease of life? After all the kids (you
) are grown up so they don't need to stay together for the sake of the children.dl
08 August 2007, 08:12 AM
#33
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Well, ****, where do I start with this????
Never thought I would ever hear myself say this but last night I discovered that my dad is having an affair!
I’m sorry this is a rather long story but at the moment I do not know who I can talk to about this so thought I would get it off my chest on here and see what others have to say. I have registered a new user as I do not want anyone to read my known user.
He and my mum have been married for about 30 odd years now. About a month ago he had a 2 week holiday visiting his sister (she lives in the USA and has done for many years). He went on his own because his sister and my mum had a falling out many years ago and have never really got on since. She is known to be a right cow at times (his sister that is ) even her daughters don’t get on with her that well.
Two weeks later he returned and seemed to have nice time etc etc. Anyway shortly after this his sister sent him an e-mail saying how she would like him to come back over to do some jobs for her (he done a few odd jobs for her while he was there, even though she has a bloke living with her!) because people charge so much over there is would be cheaper for her to fly my dad over to do the work. When my dad tells my mum this, she isn’t best pleased. My mum had actually been talking to a friend a few days before the above e-mail turned up and said she bets his sister tries to get him to go back, as she knows what a bitch she can be, and looks like she was right!
Anyway, ever since then my folks don’t seemed to have been getting on too great and I started thinking something must be up.
I also started to notice when my dad was on his PC and someone walked in to the room he would minimize the window he has open and I also found he was now using yahoo mail, not Outlook. This for me was a bit odd because my old man hardly knows how to turn a PC on let alone setup new e-mail accounts etc (I set him up Outlook and spent ages going over and over how to use it). I knew his sister also uses yahoo mail so started to wonder why he would be using this and would bet my bottom dollar that she had something to do with it?
To get to the point, I ended up putting a key logger on his PC (I know I shouldn’t have done this but wanted to know what was going on) and in turn found out his yahoo mail password.
Upon logging into it I had a rather big shock, several dozen e-mails from some woman over in the US who knows my dad’s sister. Many of the e-mails go into how much they miss each other, how they want to be together, what a great time they had and all this other kind of crap. I couldn’t believe what I was reading!!!
It also turns out that my dad was trying to think of an excuse to be able to go back over there, so he got my auntie (his sister obviously) to send the e-mail about going back to do work etc. What a ****! I would lay money on his bitch of a sister had something to do with throwing them together as she has always been trying to cause trouble between my dad and mum for years.
Something I haven’t mentioned either is that for the past 2 years my mum has been planning a holiday with her sister and good friend to go to the 30th anniversary of Elvis’s death (they are big Elvis fans) and knowing all their other half’s are not interested, they are going just the three of them. The original plan was that while she was going there my dad would go visit his sister but then he couldn’t get flights so that’s why he ended up going earlier.
Now from reading these bloody e-mails it looks like he is going to wait until she gets back from her 2 week hol, then say his going to go visit his sister again, regardless what my mum thinks, knowing she will not be best pleased, probably go up the wall then that will be his excuse to pack his bags and leave!
I still can’t believe this is happening and I’m not too sure what to do, my dad says in his e-mails to other woman that his not saying anything yet because he doesn’t want to spoil my mums hol, well until she bloody gets home, he doesn’t know that I know about this.
I have a brother and as yet haven’t mentioned anything to him, decided not to tell my girl friend yet because I don’t want her acting a different way around my dad then things kick off that way. So far the only other people who I believe who know are my dad’s sister, I think my dad has told his good friend who lives a few doors down and my Nan (dads mum) also knows as from reading these e-mails other woman has sent photo’s to her etc.
So, where the **** do I go from here, who do I tell? I’m definitely not saying anything to my mum until she at least returns from her hol as she will be devastated as it is but feel she has the right to know. As far as I can tell she knows nothing.
Do I go have it out with my nan or his good "friend". I can understand it from his point of view I guess as he probably hasn't said owt as to not want to get involved with it all. Or do I just wait until mum's away on hol then confront my dad about it?
Any advice would be much appreciated.
Sorry for such the long post.
Never thought I would ever hear myself say this but last night I discovered that my dad is having an affair!
I’m sorry this is a rather long story but at the moment I do not know who I can talk to about this so thought I would get it off my chest on here and see what others have to say. I have registered a new user as I do not want anyone to read my known user.
He and my mum have been married for about 30 odd years now. About a month ago he had a 2 week holiday visiting his sister (she lives in the USA and has done for many years). He went on his own because his sister and my mum had a falling out many years ago and have never really got on since. She is known to be a right cow at times (his sister that is ) even her daughters don’t get on with her that well.
Two weeks later he returned and seemed to have nice time etc etc. Anyway shortly after this his sister sent him an e-mail saying how she would like him to come back over to do some jobs for her (he done a few odd jobs for her while he was there, even though she has a bloke living with her!) because people charge so much over there is would be cheaper for her to fly my dad over to do the work. When my dad tells my mum this, she isn’t best pleased. My mum had actually been talking to a friend a few days before the above e-mail turned up and said she bets his sister tries to get him to go back, as she knows what a bitch she can be, and looks like she was right!
Anyway, ever since then my folks don’t seemed to have been getting on too great and I started thinking something must be up.
I also started to notice when my dad was on his PC and someone walked in to the room he would minimize the window he has open and I also found he was now using yahoo mail, not Outlook. This for me was a bit odd because my old man hardly knows how to turn a PC on let alone setup new e-mail accounts etc (I set him up Outlook and spent ages going over and over how to use it). I knew his sister also uses yahoo mail so started to wonder why he would be using this and would bet my bottom dollar that she had something to do with it?
To get to the point, I ended up putting a key logger on his PC (I know I shouldn’t have done this but wanted to know what was going on) and in turn found out his yahoo mail password.
Upon logging into it I had a rather big shock, several dozen e-mails from some woman over in the US who knows my dad’s sister. Many of the e-mails go into how much they miss each other, how they want to be together, what a great time they had and all this other kind of crap. I couldn’t believe what I was reading!!!
It also turns out that my dad was trying to think of an excuse to be able to go back over there, so he got my auntie (his sister obviously) to send the e-mail about going back to do work etc. What a ****! I would lay money on his bitch of a sister had something to do with throwing them together as she has always been trying to cause trouble between my dad and mum for years.
Something I haven’t mentioned either is that for the past 2 years my mum has been planning a holiday with her sister and good friend to go to the 30th anniversary of Elvis’s death (they are big Elvis fans) and knowing all their other half’s are not interested, they are going just the three of them. The original plan was that while she was going there my dad would go visit his sister but then he couldn’t get flights so that’s why he ended up going earlier.
Now from reading these bloody e-mails it looks like he is going to wait until she gets back from her 2 week hol, then say his going to go visit his sister again, regardless what my mum thinks, knowing she will not be best pleased, probably go up the wall then that will be his excuse to pack his bags and leave!
I still can’t believe this is happening and I’m not too sure what to do, my dad says in his e-mails to other woman that his not saying anything yet because he doesn’t want to spoil my mums hol, well until she bloody gets home, he doesn’t know that I know about this.
I have a brother and as yet haven’t mentioned anything to him, decided not to tell my girl friend yet because I don’t want her acting a different way around my dad then things kick off that way. So far the only other people who I believe who know are my dad’s sister, I think my dad has told his good friend who lives a few doors down and my Nan (dads mum) also knows as from reading these e-mails other woman has sent photo’s to her etc.
So, where the **** do I go from here, who do I tell? I’m definitely not saying anything to my mum until she at least returns from her hol as she will be devastated as it is but feel she has the right to know. As far as I can tell she knows nothing.
Do I go have it out with my nan or his good "friend". I can understand it from his point of view I guess as he probably hasn't said owt as to not want to get involved with it all. Or do I just wait until mum's away on hol then confront my dad about it?
Any advice would be much appreciated.
Sorry for such the long post.
08 August 2007, 08:26 AM
#34
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I am not aware of my mum doing anything, I mean she had to give up work about a year ago because of an injury she got at work (back probs) and is currently in the middle of sorting that, so she hardly ever goes out anywhere. She does pretty much everything for my dad apart from wipe his **** and if there were loads of arguments then I think me or my bro would know about them (we in our early 20's so still living at home at the min, well, while we still got one!!).
So I can't see how she has done anything too serious really.
It just gets to me that he is planning on waiting for my mum to explode about him going over there for a few weeks to “do some jobs" knowing that that will then give him an excuse to go for good and he is not planning on telling her that he has met someone else.
He is already looking into citizen ship etc so he can stay as long as possible/then for good, so me and my bro prob never see him again either, that’s if we would want to. It's not just my mum he will be leaving and it would seem he isn't worried about not seeing his sons any more either.
I am going to see if I can mention something just in general conversation, asking if they are ok etc, that way I’m not killing the trust between us and just looks like I have noticed things aren’t quite right between them (which is true). Puts the ball in his court then as I’m then giving him the chance to fess up.
Then wait for the sh!te to hit the fan on my mum’s return.
Oh happy days!
p.s. thanks for all your comments, it has helped, a bit.
So I can't see how she has done anything too serious really.
It just gets to me that he is planning on waiting for my mum to explode about him going over there for a few weeks to “do some jobs" knowing that that will then give him an excuse to go for good and he is not planning on telling her that he has met someone else.
He is already looking into citizen ship etc so he can stay as long as possible/then for good, so me and my bro prob never see him again either, that’s if we would want to. It's not just my mum he will be leaving and it would seem he isn't worried about not seeing his sons any more either.
I am going to see if I can mention something just in general conversation, asking if they are ok etc, that way I’m not killing the trust between us and just looks like I have noticed things aren’t quite right between them (which is true). Puts the ball in his court then as I’m then giving him the chance to fess up.
Then wait for the sh!te to hit the fan on my mum’s return.
Oh happy days!
p.s. thanks for all your comments, it has helped, a bit.
Do I really know what my mum feels for my dad?
Do I really know what my dad feels for my mum?
Do I really know that my dad is not just having a fantasist affair that gives him a sense of escapism and he will never actually leave my mum?
Do I know what proportion of men have affairs and never actually leave?
Do I know what will happen if I blow all of this up?
Will I be satisfying rightness and moral judgment for my mother or myself if I take action?
Do I really know what will happen when I stand in judgment of my father?
Do I really know that my mother would want me to stand in judgment?
Will my mother actually stand by my father?
Does my mother already now (women usually know even if they don't acknowledge what they really don't want to know)?
My guess that you are feeling and judging this situation from your feelings and your 'model of the world'. The only sure thing in this situation is that your model of the world is different from your mother' and different from your father's and so you cannot be sure of what will happen if you act.
The pain you are suffering now entirely relates to your actions, not theirs.
If you cannot answer the questions above with certainty then I would suggest that you do not take action.
08 August 2007, 08:36 AM
#36
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If it were me I'd get my Dad to tell My Mum what's going on or I'd tell her myself.
When It does break and she finds out that you knew and did nothing she'll probably end up hating you aswell as your coward of a dad !
When It does break and she finds out that you knew and did nothing she'll probably end up hating you aswell as your coward of a dad !
08 August 2007, 08:42 AM
#37
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Stand back, just for a moment and think about what you are feeling and what you are saying - then ask yourself these questions...
Do I really know what my mum feels for my dad?
Do I really know what my dad feels for my mum?
Do I really know that my dad is not just having a fantasist affair that gives him a sense of escapism and he will never actually leave my mum?
Do I know what proportion of men have affairs and never actually leave?
Do I know what will happen if I blow all of this up?
Will I be satisfying rightness and moral judgment for my mother or myself if I take action?
Do I really know what will happen when I stand in judgment of my father?
Do I really know that my mother would want me to stand in judgment?
Will my mother actually stand by my father?
Does my mother already now (women usually know even if they don't acknowledge what they really don't want to know)?
My guess that you are feeling and judging this situation from your feelings and your 'model of the world'. The only sure thing in this situation is that your model of the world is different from your mother' and different from your father's and so you cannot be sure of what will happen if you act.
The pain you are suffering now entirely relates to your actions, not theirs.
If you cannot answer the questions above with certainty then I would suggest that you do not take action.
Do I really know what my mum feels for my dad?
Do I really know what my dad feels for my mum?
Do I really know that my dad is not just having a fantasist affair that gives him a sense of escapism and he will never actually leave my mum?
Do I know what proportion of men have affairs and never actually leave?
Do I know what will happen if I blow all of this up?
Will I be satisfying rightness and moral judgment for my mother or myself if I take action?
Do I really know what will happen when I stand in judgment of my father?
Do I really know that my mother would want me to stand in judgment?
Will my mother actually stand by my father?
Does my mother already now (women usually know even if they don't acknowledge what they really don't want to know)?
My guess that you are feeling and judging this situation from your feelings and your 'model of the world'. The only sure thing in this situation is that your model of the world is different from your mother' and different from your father's and so you cannot be sure of what will happen if you act.
The pain you are suffering now entirely relates to your actions, not theirs.
If you cannot answer the questions above with certainty then I would suggest that you do not take action.
< Will you do that for me luvie,will you ? >
Claire Raynor mode off
08 August 2007, 08:44 AM
#38
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As is so often the case, I suspect you're seeing 2, imagining the other 2 and coming up with 7.
Consider the other option, you may not know everything, blurt something out and then be personally responsible for the break up of your parents when it may not actually be on the cards as things are at the moment.
Consider the other option, you may not know everything, blurt something out and then be personally responsible for the break up of your parents when it may not actually be on the cards as things are at the moment.
08 August 2007, 08:49 AM
#40
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Shocking situation - I really feel for you. I'm also impressed at the levels of double standards on here - if a woman is caught screwing around there are several pages of abuse and comments about how you can't trust women, but if a man's doing it you should "back off" ? 
How old are your parents? Perhaps it's a midlife crisis thing? It sounds very much like a holiday romance which would most likely fizzle out fairly quickly. The comments about not really knowing what's going on inside your parents marriage are quite accurate.
Personally I would say talk to your Dad about it - don't confront him. Take him out for a pint somewhere where he can't start yelling at you. Explain what you did and why. Don't ask him for explanations, just let him know that you know and see how he reacts from there. He'll probably be seriously p1ssed off to start with - but once he gets over that perhaps you can have a sensible conversation about it.
It'll be tough though - you're his son and he probably still sees you as being an inexperienced teenager.
Good luck.
How old are your parents? Perhaps it's a midlife crisis thing? It sounds very much like a holiday romance which would most likely fizzle out fairly quickly. The comments about not really knowing what's going on inside your parents marriage are quite accurate.
Personally I would say talk to your Dad about it - don't confront him. Take him out for a pint somewhere where he can't start yelling at you. Explain what you did and why. Don't ask him for explanations, just let him know that you know and see how he reacts from there. He'll probably be seriously p1ssed off to start with - but once he gets over that perhaps you can have a sensible conversation about it.
It'll be tough though - you're his son and he probably still sees you as being an inexperienced teenager.
Good luck.
08 August 2007, 08:54 AM
#42
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Shocking situation - I really feel for you. I'm also impressed at the levels of double standards on here - if a woman is caught screwing around there are several pages of abuse and comments about how you can't trust women, but if a man's doing it you should "back off" ?
08 August 2007, 08:57 AM
#43
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Anyway, best not to hijack the thread eh?
08 August 2007, 08:59 AM
#44
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You have your dad's yahoo email addy, yes?
Why not mail him to that address telling him what you know, how disapointed you are, and what he is going to do about it?
Avoid 'direct' confrontation with him that way, and tell him you are not prepared to discuss it with him in the open as such, for fear of your mother overhearing, etc.
When he asks how you know whats going on, you tell him it's unimportant, compared to what is actually going on.
Why not mail him to that address telling him what you know, how disapointed you are, and what he is going to do about it?
Avoid 'direct' confrontation with him that way, and tell him you are not prepared to discuss it with him in the open as such, for fear of your mother overhearing, etc.
When he asks how you know whats going on, you tell him it's unimportant, compared to what is actually going on.
08 August 2007, 09:03 AM
#47
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Set up a new account with nearly the same name as his secret account. Get the fling to send you some pics. Make one of them into your Dad's wallpaper. He will **** a brick.
Set up another account using your Mum's name. Mail the fling and tell her that you (IE your Mum) knows about the affair.
Send one from your new secret Dad account confessing that you (IE your Dad) has been caught red handed and that you want to end the relationship. Tell her that your Mum knows about the other account so it shouldn't be used any more, and that she should ignore any e-mails she gets from it.
Keep an eye on your Dads PC for other new accounts and make sure they can't communicate freely
If you are going to start being devious by using a key logger, you might as well see it through.
(If you want to nail the coffin lid shut, spend several hours each day on your Dads PC surfing for ways to blow up planes, make home made explosives, etc etc. You can be sure that he wont get beyond heathrow at the next attempt)
Set up another account using your Mum's name. Mail the fling and tell her that you (IE your Mum) knows about the affair.
Send one from your new secret Dad account confessing that you (IE your Dad) has been caught red handed and that you want to end the relationship. Tell her that your Mum knows about the other account so it shouldn't be used any more, and that she should ignore any e-mails she gets from it.
Keep an eye on your Dads PC for other new accounts and make sure they can't communicate freely
If you are going to start being devious by using a key logger, you might as well see it through.
(If you want to nail the coffin lid shut, spend several hours each day on your Dads PC surfing for ways to blow up planes, make home made explosives, etc etc. You can be sure that he wont get beyond heathrow at the next attempt)
08 August 2007, 09:07 AM
#48
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Theres no male chauvaism here - the point is its none of his buisness .
and i believe we have had *Several* posts in the past with the kid outting his ma,aunt,gran (delete as applicable)
08 August 2007, 09:08 AM
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Why not leave this page open for when he goes to the PC if you don't have any gut - which obviously you don't.
On a serious note, if ANYONE upset my mum or made her cry - I would give them a good ******* hiding, end of.
My mum brought me in to the world and is the 1 person who has never turned her back on me no matter what I did, and never kept anything from me.
I'm not sure I could keep something like this tucked away.
On a serious note, if ANYONE upset my mum or made her cry - I would give them a good ******* hiding, end of.
My mum brought me in to the world and is the 1 person who has never turned her back on me no matter what I did, and never kept anything from me.
I'm not sure I could keep something like this tucked away.
08 August 2007, 09:20 AM
#50
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Simple fact is he could be a bit bored with his marriage and got some attention from another woman when he was in the US. This seems all exciting and maybe he's enjoying that now... he however may have done nothing more. Not saying that's right but it could all blow over.
08 August 2007, 09:28 AM
#51
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It feels wrong to keep it to yourself thats for sure, but I cant see how you can confront him about it. Its none of your business, Youre dad, as bad as this sounds may have been unhappy for many years and if by moving on you should be happy for him and help your mum through it, maybe hes happy and in his comfort zone but felt the need to liven things up a little, either way he may still be madly in love with your mum. Whatever he feels its sod all to do with you, the way things will pan out maybe for the best overall, whether its your parents splitting or not.
You wont see this now but trust me, to be in a relationship for a long time and keep it going, both parties need to be happy 100%. You might force your father to make the wrong decision and ruin both his, your mums, you and your bothers lives.
Stay clear of it all IMO.
You wont see this now but trust me, to be in a relationship for a long time and keep it going, both parties need to be happy 100%. You might force your father to make the wrong decision and ruin both his, your mums, you and your bothers lives.
Stay clear of it all IMO.
08 August 2007, 09:29 AM
#52
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if you have her email address, just send a spoof email from it (allegedly there are spoof email programs out there
) to your dad saying that it will never work, his dick is too small, **** lover etc etc.
Alternatively confront your dad, tell him you were using the pc and were logging onto your yahoo account but it was already signed in. (which you thought was strange as you dont enable the remember password option ) and you then happened to stumble across some emails that werent yours, only to realise that you was logged in on your dads signon, however by this stage you had already opened some of the mails.
) to your dad saying that it will never work, his dick is too small, **** lover etc etc.Alternatively confront your dad, tell him you were using the pc and were logging onto your yahoo account but it was already signed in. (which you thought was strange as you dont enable the remember password option
) and you then happened to stumble across some emails that werent yours, only to realise that you was logged in on your dads signon, however by this stage you had already opened some of the mails.
08 August 2007, 03:41 PM
#53
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Set up a new account with nearly the same name as his secret account. Get the fling to send you some pics. Make one of them into your Dad's wallpaper. He will **** a brick.
Quality
If you want to nail the coffin lid shut, spend several hours each day on your Dads PC surfing for ways to blow up planes, make home made explosives, etc etc. You can be sure that he wont get beyond heathrow at the next attempt
....more quality
Alternatively confront your dad, tell him you were using the pc and were logging onto your yahoo account but it was already signed in. (which you thought was strange as you dont enable the remember password option ) and you then happened to stumble across some emails that werent yours, only to realise that you was logged in on your dads signon, however by this stage you had already opened some of the mails.
Excellent
08 August 2007, 10:06 PM
#54
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I've just read this post and what came to my mind straight away is why dont you email him a funny joke or something along them lines it lets him know then that you know that he has a new email account he might just crap himself and do something about it or if he chooses to ignore it take him to one side and tell him you know and that he should have more respect for your mum and if he doesnt tell her you will. It might just make him think a bit more about what he's going to throw away.
My dad had a affair on my mum but i was only 7 and didnt really understand it all back then. But now when i think about it im 21 soon and it disgusts me and i would really want to chop his **** off. I then also realised that its 15 years since ive seen him and that makes me even angrier but to be honest i wouldnt want to see him. he's never sent anything for birthdays or christmas so he can **** right off for all i care.
But only you know what the right thing is to do.
Good Luck
Best Wishes
Stephb
My dad had a affair on my mum but i was only 7 and didnt really understand it all back then. But now when i think about it im 21 soon and it disgusts me and i would really want to chop his **** off. I then also realised that its 15 years since ive seen him and that makes me even angrier but to be honest i wouldnt want to see him. he's never sent anything for birthdays or christmas so he can **** right off for all i care.
But only you know what the right thing is to do.
Good Luck
Best Wishes
Stephb
You had a sh!te deal too then, especially at that young age. Mind you, like you say, if it happens then maybe it's better at a young age when you don’t really understand things/life etc.
08 August 2007, 10:37 PM
#55
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Shocking situation -
How old are your parents? Perhaps it's a midlife crisis thing? It sounds very much like a holiday romance which would most likely fizzle out fairly quickly. The comments about not really knowing what's going on inside your parents marriage are quite accurate.
Good luck.
How old are your parents? Perhaps it's a midlife crisis thing? It sounds very much like a holiday romance which would most likely fizzle out fairly quickly. The comments about not really knowing what's going on inside your parents marriage are quite accurate.
Good luck.
My dad is 53 and my mum is 57. Yes it could be a midlife crisis or a holiday romance but from what he has been saying his going to be off over there in Sept for a few more weeks spending more time with this other woman to see how they get on etc and is apparently going to tell my mum, me and my bro when my mum returns from her hol. Mind you as of yet I’m not sure how much of the real truth he is going to tell.
Either way he knows things will then be over for him here. My mum is not the forgiving type if he tells the truth and if he comes out with the "I’m going back to see his sister again for 3 weeks" he knows my mum will flip and say "well I won’t be here when you get back" so this will then give him his excuse to go back to the US and later return to sort things out, selling the house etc (as mentioned in an e-mail).
No matter what happens I will never tell him how I found out about this regardless what happens. Nor will I tell my mum that I knew before hand because I do not want to lose my mum too and I don't want to make things any harder for her as I’m sure she will be in a big enough state as it is. And obviously there might be a chance, somehow, that they get through this so I don't want to kick it all off.
I will wait and see how much of the true story he tells my mum/us, but I will not let him use the excuse of my mum going off on one that his going back to "see his sister" and then making her feel like it's her fault. If he is truly unhappy in their marriage and has had enough then somewhere down the line I will understand that but at least fess up and tell the truth in the first place and not make it out to be my mums fault
I guess I will find out what happens in a few weeks time.
08 August 2007, 11:52 PM
#56
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Look, keep out of it. The old saying of "Don't shoot the messenger" does not stand up. If this all turns out to be nothing, you will be the bad bugger. Keep schtum and let it go the course. You may be reading far too much into it.
09 August 2007, 12:17 AM
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I don't think I am reading too much into it but time will tell i guess.
09 August 2007, 12:24 AM
#58
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OK, good luck It's vile but life as is. At the end of the day, you will come out smelling sweet if you keep your gob shut, but I can also see how you must be feeling. Am not being harsh just realistic
It's vile but life as is. At the end of the day, you will come out smelling sweet if you keep your gob shut, but I can also see how you must be feeling. Am not being harsh just realistic
09 August 2007, 07:07 AM
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Right, you need a slap for being such a bitch about this
Grow some ***** and confront your old man.
It maybe true that if you keep your mouth shut you will appear to end up smelling of roses but inside you will feel like a gutless, ***** coward because you knew and you did nothing.
Like only a few others have said that is your mum and if any man started dishing my mum sh#t like this I would smash him in the chin with an elbow (My dad included). However you may not be the violent type, in this case you could just confront him and force him to come clean to your mum.
The fact that you posted this in the first place suggests that you are actually concerned enough to act so I would say do it while you have the chance or forever feel like a bitch.
p.s. If you reckon your old mans pretty hard take a weapon...... just in case
Grow some ***** and confront your old man.It maybe true that if you keep your mouth shut you will appear to end up smelling of roses but inside you will feel like a gutless, ***** coward because you knew and you did nothing.
Like only a few others have said that is your mum and if any man started dishing my mum sh#t like this I would smash him in the chin with an elbow
(My dad included). However you may not be the violent type, in this case you could just confront him and force him to come clean to your mum.The fact that you posted this in the first place suggests that you are actually concerned enough to act so I would say do it while you have the chance or forever feel like a bitch.
p.s. If you reckon your old mans pretty hard take a weapon...... just in case
