Need advice, what would you do?
#61
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Yeah pretty much but i was better off without him he's a alcoholic and i think its made me the person i am today im alot stronger and i know that i wouldnt let any bloke treat me like that i have done once but
fool me once shame on you
fool me twice shame on me
I really hope he does tell your mum and then she tells him to JOG ON! because no woman deserves to be treated like that no matter what has happened.
Thinking of you at this **** time
Stephb
#62
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No, I couldn't. But what options has he left himself? If he confronts his Dad with the information that he has got by infiltrating his private communications, then he makes a bitter enemy of him. If he tells his Mum, what then? Like it or not, his parents are private adults that don't need his interference. The bravest, most selfless thing for him to do is to keep shtum.
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I personally would confront him and go from there. Depending on his response, i might just give him the choice of him fessing up or you do it for him. Put yourself in ya Ma's shoes - you would want to know.
I would certainly act soon because if the **** hits the fan and your mother somehow finds out that you were in the know - you will possibly be regarded as public enemy number 1
I would certainly act soon because if the **** hits the fan and your mother somehow finds out that you were in the know - you will possibly be regarded as public enemy number 1
#66
Pah - all this "keep your nose out its none of your business" rubbish.
It's his parents, and he's their son - Its blood. If its anyones business its HIS. This isn't tinkering in some friends relationship ffs.
Personnally, I'd kick seven kinds of crap out of my father if he ever did something like that.
It's his parents, and he's their son - Its blood. If its anyones business its HIS. This isn't tinkering in some friends relationship ffs.
Personnally, I'd kick seven kinds of crap out of my father if he ever did something like that.
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As your Dad isn't exactly computer literate, I expect that he'll not question how you accessed what you did.
If you can keep it bottled up for the 'greater good', you're a stronger person than I could ever be.
Personally, I'd have a quiet word whilst alone with him.
If you can keep it bottled up for the 'greater good', you're a stronger person than I could ever be.
Personally, I'd have a quiet word whilst alone with him.
#68
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I wouldn't be afraid of making a bitter enemy of a Dad who's ******* a Mum about.
Blokes who make a lifetime commitment then decide that it's not really for them without letting the other person know about it are the lowest of the low.
Of course if it's not really anything then he should steer well clear - we haven't seen the e-mails - but it sounds like there's not much question about what's going on.
Blokes who make a lifetime commitment then decide that it's not really for them without letting the other person know about it are the lowest of the low.
Of course if it's not really anything then he should steer well clear - we haven't seen the e-mails - but it sounds like there's not much question about what's going on.
#69
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I wouldn't be afraid of making a bitter enemy of a Dad who's ******* a Mum about.
Blokes who make a lifetime commitment then decide that it's not really for them without letting the other person know about it are the lowest of the low.
Blokes who make a lifetime commitment then decide that it's not really for them without letting the other person know about it are the lowest of the low.
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If you really want to stop him going, contact USCIS (US immigration)- show them those emails . That is proof of immigrant intent and he will be denied entry to the US under the visa waiver program.
Unlike the Uk, the US are REALLY hot on it.
Unlike the Uk, the US are REALLY hot on it.
Last edited by Freak; 10 August 2007 at 12:16 PM.
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I personally would confront him and go from there. Depending on his response, i might just give him the choice of him fessing up or you do it for him. Put yourself in ya Ma's shoes - you would want to know.
I would certainly act soon because if the **** hits the fan and your mother somehow finds out that you were in the know - you will possibly be regarded as public enemy number 1
I would certainly act soon because if the **** hits the fan and your mother somehow finds out that you were in the know - you will possibly be regarded as public enemy number 1
the right answer was your first answer. Yes it is a problem, you don't need to say how you saw the emails just that you have. Ask him why and what is going on.
Ignore all these silly suggestions to email him etc and go for more subterfuge that's not going to get you anywhere. You might find out why he's been doing it and see if he and your mum can sort things out. If it is simply a case of draining his ***** then maybe it can be worked out. If it is anything more, and he is really unhappy then let him go but as you say the problem is carrying on two at the same time. It isn't fair on your mum so if he is going to go he should say so and get on with it. effectively stop cheating, one way or the other.
5t.
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For those of you who say 'just let it be', I wouldn't want any of you as friends!
Something needs to be said, you ARE involved as some have already said. Brushing it under the carpet in the hope of a 'quiet' life is both stupid and pathetic.
You're dad doesn't need to know how you found the infomation, he'll have far more pressing matters to deal with once he knows that you are onto him.
Also consider that when you do this, your dad may well just p%ss off and you'll never see him again. You must factor this into the equation as it is a real possibility. You can't 'force' your old man to be faithful. That is something all adults have to handle themselves. However, once he see's how upset and angry you are, it may make him realise that this 'nookie' on the side just isn't worth it.
'Stand back and say nothing' is the what all the pussies say!
That's what happened with my old man. Family members knew he was upto something and just kept quiet......now he's in a nursing home after having a 'stress-related' stroke. Turns out, even though he suffered with high blood pressure after a head injury in 1999, he took viagra when he was with his other bit of stuff.
Now my mum and I are the onces that are having to pick up the pieces.
Do the right thing, confront him, it might be the best (but hardest) thing you ever do!
Good luck mate.
Something needs to be said, you ARE involved as some have already said. Brushing it under the carpet in the hope of a 'quiet' life is both stupid and pathetic.
You're dad doesn't need to know how you found the infomation, he'll have far more pressing matters to deal with once he knows that you are onto him.
Also consider that when you do this, your dad may well just p%ss off and you'll never see him again. You must factor this into the equation as it is a real possibility. You can't 'force' your old man to be faithful. That is something all adults have to handle themselves. However, once he see's how upset and angry you are, it may make him realise that this 'nookie' on the side just isn't worth it.
'Stand back and say nothing' is the what all the pussies say!
That's what happened with my old man. Family members knew he was upto something and just kept quiet......now he's in a nursing home after having a 'stress-related' stroke. Turns out, even though he suffered with high blood pressure after a head injury in 1999, he took viagra when he was with his other bit of stuff.
Now my mum and I are the onces that are having to pick up the pieces.
Do the right thing, confront him, it might be the best (but hardest) thing you ever do!
Good luck mate.
#74
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Crazy advice considering you ARE involved. You looked because you suspected something wasn't right. You didn't stumble upon it.
On that basis confront your Dad and ask him what's going on! If he's not man enough to tell you then it's a poor show. He might be shocked into ending it and therefore saving everybody a lot of heartache, hassle and money.
Take a deep breath and face him when your Mother is nowhere in sight.
Good luck.
On that basis confront your Dad and ask him what's going on! If he's not man enough to tell you then it's a poor show. He might be shocked into ending it and therefore saving everybody a lot of heartache, hassle and money.
Take a deep breath and face him when your Mother is nowhere in sight.
Good luck.
For those saying its none of his business what planet are you on? Its his Dad who by the looks of it is thinking of ******* off and leaving him behind without a 2nd thought! That makes it every bit his business
#75
I think you should talk to your Dad but not mention the emails or the affair directly. Ask if things are OK between him and your Mum as your have been concerned about their arguments etc.
That way it puts the onus on your Dad to tell you as much as he wants you know.
Ask yourself if it would hurt your Mum more to be unknowingly decieved, or to find out about the affair? If your parents are in the process of splitting up anyway then a confontation would make it very acrimonious and you would lose the trust of one or maybe both of them.
That way it puts the onus on your Dad to tell you as much as he wants you know.
Ask yourself if it would hurt your Mum more to be unknowingly decieved, or to find out about the affair? If your parents are in the process of splitting up anyway then a confontation would make it very acrimonious and you would lose the trust of one or maybe both of them.
#76
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If you still have the key logger handy, note down his internet banking stuff just incase your mum needs to screw him over upon returning from her Elvis trip.
Uh huh
Uh huh
#77
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Exactly what I was thinking as I was reading the story.
For those saying its none of his business what planet are you on? Its his Dad who by the looks of it is thinking of ******* off and leaving him behind without a 2nd thought! That makes it every bit his business
For those saying its none of his business what planet are you on? Its his Dad who by the looks of it is thinking of ******* off and leaving him behind without a 2nd thought! That makes it every bit his business
To me, it's a no brainer.
#78
Mums now away for two weeks so time to drop a few questions into the conversation me thinks.
Thanks once again for your comments.
#79
#81
From the e-mails I have seen it's pretty obvious really, "can't wait to see you again", "cant stop thinking about you" bla bla bla
#82
#83
hey i need help about BOV`s
hey well im knew to this website but i had a question about gettin a BOV... i have a 07' Sti and i was wondering if it was okay to get a aftermarket BOV bc the one it carries is very sorry... u can hardly hear it. but i had hear someone say that it messes up the cadalac converter or sumtin... if anyone can give me some info on it plz do. thnx
Last edited by xxcrazyboi187; 10 August 2007 at 08:01 PM.
#85
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hey well im knew to this website but i had a question about gettin a BOV... i have a 07' Sti and i was wondering if it was okay to get a aftermarket BOV bc the one it carries is very sorry... u can hardly hear it. but i had hear someone say that it messes up the cadalac converter or sumtin... if anyone can give me some info on it plz do. thnx
@ cadalac convertor
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#88
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Of course you could always annouce that you have decided to go with him - meet your auntie and see the sights
That should kick things off - be interesting to see how he plays that one
Sorry - "the cadalac converter or sumtin" ... is still in my head.........
That should kick things off - be interesting to see how he plays that one
Sorry - "the cadalac converter or sumtin" ... is still in my head.........
Last edited by David Lock; 11 August 2007 at 05:17 PM.
#89
My Dad was seeing another woman about 10yrs ago. He confided in me about it after arranging to meet me at a pub - something he'd never normally do.
That left me in a difficult situation as I knew what was coming and felt I had nowhere to turn. Eventually he left my Mum a note to say he was leaving but without giving the true reason why. Shortly after my Mum received a phonecall from her friend grassing my Dad up saying that he was having an affair with a family friend. Mum was too upset to talk to her friend and handed the phone to me. I listened and had to act surprised.
Eventually my Dad told my Mum that he had confided in me some weeks prior to the split. That really hurt as I was already in a difficult spot having been the shoulder to cry on, then for him to tell Mum he had already told me everything.....
Mum didn't fall out with me as she understood the situation Dad had put me in but I could not forgive Dad for doing what he did.
Eventually he came back home but Mum has lived on a knife-edge ever since.
About a year later I came home drunk from a nightout. Was in the downstairs loo and found Dad's mobile in his inside pocket. I know I should'nt have but I then looked at his texts, most of which were from this other woman. Evidence the affair was still live.
I'm not sure why Dad ever came back as he clearly doesn't want to be with my Mother. When they come and visit me my misses and I always notice my Dad being irritated everytime my Mum speaks.
Take care mate, good that you are old enough as I was to understand. Stay out of it and don't mention to either your Mum or your Dad is my advise.
Nick
That left me in a difficult situation as I knew what was coming and felt I had nowhere to turn. Eventually he left my Mum a note to say he was leaving but without giving the true reason why. Shortly after my Mum received a phonecall from her friend grassing my Dad up saying that he was having an affair with a family friend. Mum was too upset to talk to her friend and handed the phone to me. I listened and had to act surprised.
Eventually my Dad told my Mum that he had confided in me some weeks prior to the split. That really hurt as I was already in a difficult spot having been the shoulder to cry on, then for him to tell Mum he had already told me everything.....
Mum didn't fall out with me as she understood the situation Dad had put me in but I could not forgive Dad for doing what he did.
Eventually he came back home but Mum has lived on a knife-edge ever since.
About a year later I came home drunk from a nightout. Was in the downstairs loo and found Dad's mobile in his inside pocket. I know I should'nt have but I then looked at his texts, most of which were from this other woman. Evidence the affair was still live.
I'm not sure why Dad ever came back as he clearly doesn't want to be with my Mother. When they come and visit me my misses and I always notice my Dad being irritated everytime my Mum speaks.
Take care mate, good that you are old enough as I was to understand. Stay out of it and don't mention to either your Mum or your Dad is my advise.
Nick
#90
Well thought I would post an update as several of you posted on this subject.
Since my last post I haven't said anything to anyone I was playing it by ear to see what happened.
I was keeping an eye on the e-mails and then about 2 weeks ago it seemed my dad and this other woman had fallen out/finished things. However a week or so down the line it now looks like they are getting things back on track again
Anyway, my mum was very upset the other morning and said she knows something’s not right so asked my dad what was the matter/going on. Basically he didn't say anything. She also told me she went on the computer and looked at his Outlook e-mails and found some ones in there from his sister (when she set up this yahoo account) so they can talk in private etc. My dad has also started shredding phone bills, which he has never done before amongst other odd/out of character things. Because of all this weird crap that he has started doing my mum now knows something is going on but she does not know what and when confronting my dad he says nothing she has picked up this has all started since he went to visit his sister and as they haven't been getting on she even said if he wants to leave or has found someone else then just be a man and say so (this was obviously his opportunity to bring it up) but yet again he just looked at her and said nothing. She also said I know your sister has set you up a yahoo e-mail account, and he turns around and says no she hasn't, when we know dam well he has!
Needless to say this is driving my mum nuts, she is constantly upset and it's not doing her health any good at all. She has already said by this point she doesn't really care what the problem is she just wants him to be honest and say what’s going on.
She has asked if there is a way I can find out his user name/password. Now obviously I already know this but she doesn't know that I know I said well there is but what happens if you find out that he has been hiding something (I’m trying my best to protect her) she doesn't care anymore just wants the truth. She will not say to my dad how she finds out or doesn't even know if she will say anything to start with, just the fact that she knows is some weight off her shoulders.
So should I say I have found out the info and then she can see what has really been going on as I can't really see this making things much worse now as my dad just said to me when I asked him what’s going on "oh well we are probably splitting up now as we aint been getting on for a while, and it's one of those things" seems this is what he is wanting but taking the easy way out. No matter how many times we all ask him he just says the same old thing.
Since my last post I haven't said anything to anyone I was playing it by ear to see what happened.
I was keeping an eye on the e-mails and then about 2 weeks ago it seemed my dad and this other woman had fallen out/finished things. However a week or so down the line it now looks like they are getting things back on track again
Anyway, my mum was very upset the other morning and said she knows something’s not right so asked my dad what was the matter/going on. Basically he didn't say anything. She also told me she went on the computer and looked at his Outlook e-mails and found some ones in there from his sister (when she set up this yahoo account) so they can talk in private etc. My dad has also started shredding phone bills, which he has never done before amongst other odd/out of character things. Because of all this weird crap that he has started doing my mum now knows something is going on but she does not know what and when confronting my dad he says nothing she has picked up this has all started since he went to visit his sister and as they haven't been getting on she even said if he wants to leave or has found someone else then just be a man and say so (this was obviously his opportunity to bring it up) but yet again he just looked at her and said nothing. She also said I know your sister has set you up a yahoo e-mail account, and he turns around and says no she hasn't, when we know dam well he has!
Needless to say this is driving my mum nuts, she is constantly upset and it's not doing her health any good at all. She has already said by this point she doesn't really care what the problem is she just wants him to be honest and say what’s going on.
She has asked if there is a way I can find out his user name/password. Now obviously I already know this but she doesn't know that I know I said well there is but what happens if you find out that he has been hiding something (I’m trying my best to protect her) she doesn't care anymore just wants the truth. She will not say to my dad how she finds out or doesn't even know if she will say anything to start with, just the fact that she knows is some weight off her shoulders.
So should I say I have found out the info and then she can see what has really been going on as I can't really see this making things much worse now as my dad just said to me when I asked him what’s going on "oh well we are probably splitting up now as we aint been getting on for a while, and it's one of those things" seems this is what he is wanting but taking the easy way out. No matter how many times we all ask him he just says the same old thing.