What would you do if you caught some guys trying to steal your car from your drive?
07 January 2002, 10:53 AM
#61
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Dogs? Do me a favour. Professional thieves will have sonic dog repellers and it's amazing how much damage sharp objects do to flesh and bone. Once thieves have learned not to be afraid of a barking dog, they're more easily dealt with. Same with people, you can bet that Kevin Jackson was a lot bigger & tougher than the kids who stabbed him to death with a £5 screwdriver, but they knew what to do.
If you want to know how real people fight, do a bodyguard course. They'll show you just how dangerous an idiot with a knife can be.(quick tip, make a fist by folding your fingers over your thumbs because you will suffer less if you lose a couple of fingers and always hold your forearms facing outward because the important nerves & blood vessels are on the inside of your arms).
Sadly, I suspect the best thing you can do is call the police, tell this to the thieves and do your best to ensure you & your family's safety while they steal your car.
The only sure fire way to succeed as a "have-a-go" hero is to kill the thieves and dispose of the bodies. That way you will never get tried for the crime and their scumbag relatives won't know who's house to attack when they go looking for revenge. I'm going to lie down now.
If you want to know how real people fight, do a bodyguard course. They'll show you just how dangerous an idiot with a knife can be.(quick tip, make a fist by folding your fingers over your thumbs because you will suffer less if you lose a couple of fingers and always hold your forearms facing outward because the important nerves & blood vessels are on the inside of your arms).
Sadly, I suspect the best thing you can do is call the police, tell this to the thieves and do your best to ensure you & your family's safety while they steal your car.
The only sure fire way to succeed as a "have-a-go" hero is to kill the thieves and dispose of the bodies. That way you will never get tried for the crime and their scumbag relatives won't know who's house to attack when they go looking for revenge. I'm going to lie down now.
07 January 2002, 12:12 PM
#62
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Wouldn't advise having a go............you only get away with it if you are a Copper or a footballer (allegedly). Erhhh, but yeah I'd go out and beat the **** out of the little w**k**s.
07 January 2002, 01:12 PM
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Possible solutions:
1/ lean out of the window and ask if they are joyriders. If they say yes offer to take them for a spin. bust through as many cameras at ton 50 as you like, do donuts outside No. 10 and try a bit of cross country rallying in Hyde park. Finally do a 1 hour lap of the M25. Dont bother to slow down for the dartford stop. Generally scare the living p1ss out of them. do this until you need to refuel or need more tyres. when they have had enough let them out and then drive to the nearest police station and claim that you were carjacked and forced to drive at knifepoint.
2/ keep a bottle of Vodka laced with Cynanide in the glove box.
would they work?
astraboy
1/ lean out of the window and ask if they are joyriders. If they say yes offer to take them for a spin. bust through as many cameras at ton 50 as you like, do donuts outside No. 10 and try a bit of cross country rallying in Hyde park. Finally do a 1 hour lap of the M25. Dont bother to slow down for the dartford stop. Generally scare the living p1ss out of them. do this until you need to refuel or need more tyres. when they have had enough let them out and then drive to the nearest police station and claim that you were carjacked and forced to drive at knifepoint.
2/ keep a bottle of Vodka laced with Cynanide in the glove box.
would they work?
astraboy
07 January 2002, 01:21 PM
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Ex-neighbour of mine caught two guys absolutely red-handed stealing his car. He's a nineteen stone loosehead prop and gave one of them a good clout and the other ran off. He calls police and gets a visit pronto. Result? GBH, reduced to ABH for breaking the scotes nose.
The ****** gets community service and my mate gets £800 fine.................and...........wait for it.................had to apologise in court.
Justice?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...........
The ****** gets community service and my mate gets £800 fine.................and...........wait for it.................had to apologise in court.
Justice?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...........
07 January 2002, 03:33 PM
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just a comment on DavidRB's advice:
"quick tip, make a fist by folding your fingers over your thumbs because you will suffer less if you lose a couple of fingers"
Please don't puch anyone/thing with your thumb on the inside of your fist. You will badly damage your thumb (unless you are Mr Stumpy Short-Thumb).
KF.
"quick tip, make a fist by folding your fingers over your thumbs because you will suffer less if you lose a couple of fingers"
Please don't puch anyone/thing with your thumb on the inside of your fist. You will badly damage your thumb (unless you are Mr Stumpy Short-Thumb).
KF.
07 January 2002, 04:13 PM
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Who you calling stumpy?
Good point, the advice wasn't to help you punch someone, more to help you fend off someone with a knife without losing your thumbs (& fingers). Many people will instinctively defend themselves by opening their palms towards an attacker which can result in some nasty injuries.
Good point, the advice wasn't to help you punch someone, more to help you fend off someone with a knife without losing your thumbs (& fingers). Many people will instinctively defend themselves by opening their palms towards an attacker which can result in some nasty injuries.
07 January 2002, 04:23 PM
#68
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I did catch some guys trying to steal my car, as I was in it at the time. Best advise, get out and run away, taking the keys with you, that's what car secuirty does. Police then arrived, too late.
it's only a car (did I just say that..)
Leigh
it's only a car (did I just say that..)
Leigh
07 January 2002, 04:41 PM
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I'd like to say I'd have a go at them, but this would probably result in;
a) my life expiring very quickly as they attack me en masse, or b) me being arressted for assult, getting charged and banged up for trying to protect my own property whilst the scum merrily go around and do the same to some other soul, which would probably result in a) happening to them
a) my life expiring very quickly as they attack me en masse, or b) me being arressted for assult, getting charged and banged up for trying to protect my own property whilst the scum merrily go around and do the same to some other soul, which would probably result in a) happening to them
07 January 2002, 05:01 PM
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I'd go out and kill them... then drop them in my chest freezer after pulling their teeth and finger nails out, then shove there body through a tree shredder... then feed the slop to some pigs...
Or shout and call the police... whilst hoping they run off... then if they did chase after them in either my car or one of family cars...
David
Or shout and call the police... whilst hoping they run off... then if they did chase after them in either my car or one of family cars...
David
08 January 2002, 11:26 PM
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I like the stand at the window with the light on trick, with one alteration, do it naked......
Alternatively, send the dog out, ours is an aging, short sighted Cocker Spaniel, daft bloody thing would try and get in the car (always does) and really hamper the getaway. Anyway who has a "Hard Dog" these days and STILL calls it Tyson ?
If you wanted to round up every dangerous dog in Britain, walk onto the dodgiest estates in the land and shout "Tyson" and you would soon have them all (and Neneh Cherry's kid)
I got mugged for a mobile phone, not nice but in a blind panic I put the little s**t in hospital, fists and feet only, very pleased with myself, I have been living off that one for ages
Alternatively, send the dog out, ours is an aging, short sighted Cocker Spaniel, daft bloody thing would try and get in the car (always does) and really hamper the getaway. Anyway who has a "Hard Dog" these days and STILL calls it Tyson ?
If you wanted to round up every dangerous dog in Britain, walk onto the dodgiest estates in the land and shout "Tyson" and you would soon have them all (and Neneh Cherry's kid)
I got mugged for a mobile phone, not nice but in a blind panic I put the little s**t in hospital, fists and feet only, very pleased with myself, I have been living off that one for ages
09 January 2002, 12:53 AM
#74
interesting read - I would have to agree, and say in the end, it is only a car, and it can be replaced - i would love to kick the s**t out of some low-life scum who is trying to nick my car, but then as others have said, and I agree, what if they came back with a group of people and totally screwed you/your family/your house etc.. not really worth it!
But then, I still like the alarm in Terminator2 at the start! and it kills the theiving git - now that is class
But then, I still like the alarm in Terminator2 at the start! and it kills the theiving git - now that is class
09 January 2002, 07:42 AM
#75
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I have been quite surprised on this thread by the range of answers given, ie the amount that would/wouldn't send their pet out, the amount that would/wouldn't venture out themselves, some that might use gun etc.
Having read it all I think I have decided that ideally I would stay in the house and call the police (perhaps not using the gun thing as a prompt after some of the views on this) and try and distract the thief/ves some how.
But like MarkJackson said with regards to the mobile phone incident - I think it would be quite difficult to think rationally with all that adrenalin pumping about and seeing someone taking a tool to your pride and joy (even if it is only metal and rubber at the end of the day).
Having read it all I think I have decided that ideally I would stay in the house and call the police (perhaps not using the gun thing as a prompt after some of the views on this) and try and distract the thief/ves some how.
But like MarkJackson said with regards to the mobile phone incident - I think it would be quite difficult to think rationally with all that adrenalin pumping about and seeing someone taking a tool to your pride and joy (even if it is only metal and rubber at the end of the day).
09 January 2002, 12:54 PM
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It depends on how quick your thought processes are on the night in question.
1 : it's your car
If you are a hard bas*ard, see 1.
2 : Do you have a big stick type thingy you can bash peoples heads with, if yes see 1, if no find one.
Is there anyone in the house harder than you, if yes see 1, if no see 2.
If you end up at stage 1 (which you will do) go out and clame what is yours.
If your soft, scared, don't wonna get killed, call the police, tell them that someone is trying to steal your car, and that a street cop has been shot by the theifs. (hey it's not true, but it will get them there quicker)
Stick your head out of the windows and say "Oi you NOOOOOOOO, you are not gonna nick my fcukin car" in the best dodgy cockney (harry enfield) accent you can muster.
This will give the theifs something to laugh at, while they are trying to get into your car.
1 : it's your car
If you are a hard bas*ard, see 1.
2 : Do you have a big stick type thingy you can bash peoples heads with, if yes see 1, if no find one.
Is there anyone in the house harder than you, if yes see 1, if no see 2.
If you end up at stage 1 (which you will do) go out and clame what is yours.
If your soft, scared, don't wonna get killed, call the police, tell them that someone is trying to steal your car, and that a street cop has been shot by the theifs. (hey it's not true, but it will get them there quicker)
Stick your head out of the windows and say "Oi you NOOOOOOOO, you are not gonna nick my fcukin car" in the best dodgy cockney (harry enfield) accent you can muster.
This will give the theifs something to laugh at, while they are trying to get into your car.
09 January 2002, 02:08 PM
#78
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did anyone see a polic camera action type show where the cops had rigged a car so that it would conk out after a few hundred metres and all the doors would lock etc. It had mini cameras in it to watch the crims.
superb. someone nicked it and sure enough it stopped and locked him in. he was desperate to get out and the cops casually turned up and nicked him.
Something like that would surely have a market!
superb. someone nicked it and sure enough it stopped and locked him in. he was desperate to get out and the cops casually turned up and nicked him.
Something like that would surely have a market!
09 January 2002, 07:43 PM
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If I found someone breaking in doubtless I would be very pissed off... I would call the police ASAP, get the lights on, make sure they knew I was around and tell them I'd called the police, BUT I would not be overly worried because my scoob is insured against theft. Reading this thread, a lot of people seem to have their priorities mixed up. Sure, the insurance company might try and rip you off a few hundred quid, and there's a little inconvenience, but not as much (cost or inconvenience) as if you a) end up getting beaten to a pulp, knifed or shot, or b) end up in court for ABH, GBH or worse....
Yes, it is a pisser, but remember Tony Martin, and remember last week's headlines...people getting shot for a mobile phone.....it is not worth it...let them take it.
You will get a new car (eventually!), and you won't get hurt. Let it go.
This is assuming, of course, that you DO have insurance!!??....
Yes, it is a pisser, but remember Tony Martin, and remember last week's headlines...people getting shot for a mobile phone.....it is not worth it...let them take it.
You will get a new car (eventually!), and you won't get hurt. Let it go.
This is assuming, of course, that you DO have insurance!!??....
09 January 2002, 09:08 PM
#81
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its an easy question as far as I'm concerned - call 999 and report it being broken into / stolen, as most others have said on this thread, its just a car.
However saying that, scum like this shouldnt get away with it, and would bound to be gone by the time the police arrived (with or without the car). Get a photo if you can, if theyre local hunt them down and have a word with them individualy....
Finally - amazing how many people would take a baseball bat out with them and have a go - wake up people!!! a baseball bat is a very slow weapon and wont do a great deal of damage unless you get really lucky with it - if theres more than one assailant youre screwed with a bat. If you're really going to have a go (and I personally wouldnt) better off with a handful of sand for the eyes to partially blind them followed by a hard kick to the groin then run.
I've studied Karate for 6 years and still wouldnt go out for a fight - leave it to the police....
However saying that, scum like this shouldnt get away with it, and would bound to be gone by the time the police arrived (with or without the car). Get a photo if you can, if theyre local hunt them down and have a word with them individualy....
Finally - amazing how many people would take a baseball bat out with them and have a go - wake up people!!! a baseball bat is a very slow weapon and wont do a great deal of damage unless you get really lucky with it - if theres more than one assailant youre screwed with a bat. If you're really going to have a go (and I personally wouldnt) better off with a handful of sand for the eyes to partially blind them followed by a hard kick to the groin then run.
I've studied Karate for 6 years and still wouldnt go out for a fight - leave it to the police....
09 January 2002, 09:09 PM
#82
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A few months back I got woken up at about 1am by some ****** breaking into my neighbours car to nick the radio. I went out with my Maglite, while my wife waited indoors ready to phone the police. Said ****** was 'persuaded' to leave, but after this and with hindsight:
As much as it would be nice to go outside and beat the f#ckers senseless, I would call the police and let them come and do what I pay my taxes for.
I've done as much as I can to deter theives and protect my property - it's not worth risking your life for.
As much as it would be nice to go outside and beat the f#ckers senseless, I would call the police and let them come and do what I pay my taxes for.
I've done as much as I can to deter theives and protect my property - it's not worth risking your life for.
09 January 2002, 09:35 PM
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I don't know what I'd do as I have never been in that situation, but I do keep my golf clubs within easy reach of the bed, and when swung at 110+ mph I suspect a club may be capable of stopping a car thief rather quickly and given the fact my front door is within 5 yards of the car even if they had a gun they would have to be Clint Eastwood to manage to get a shot off before I reached the car.
10 January 2002, 07:57 PM
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Juan, nope, but I am assuming that they will be trying to get into the car, not facing towards the front door of the house with a gun loaded, otherwise I'd throw something rather heavy on top of them out of the upstairs window. I may not place a very high value on my life, but I'm not stupid.
If there was more than 2 of them I'd call the police, and crank the amp in the house up to full volume, it would be hard for them to disguise what they were doing from the whole estate, especially whilst everything around them was shaking.
Probably a pointless discussion on my part as nothing short of a nuclear explosion is likely to wake me up
The_Gza, you would be entirley correct, I'd probably put the ball through a neighbours window, and have to pay for the replacement glass
If there was more than 2 of them I'd call the police, and crank the amp in the house up to full volume, it would be hard for them to disguise what they were doing from the whole estate, especially whilst everything around them was shaking.
Probably a pointless discussion on my part as nothing short of a nuclear explosion is likely to wake me up
The_Gza, you would be entirley correct, I'd probably put the ball through a neighbours window, and have to pay for the replacement glass
10 January 2002, 09:14 PM
#88
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I think we are all looking at the worst possible case senario here. Scum all tooled up for the job...knives, guns, small thermo nuclear devices etc. I dont think this is your 'average' car thief. What you need is a gun that will fire blanks. Casually walk outside with one blank in your hand and drop it at his feet. Tell the tosser that if you ever see him again, he will not see the next one. Maybe shoot off a couple of rounds just above his head. No one hurt and situation all under control.
Plan B
Kick the living c**p out of him/them and using tie cords, restrain scum, bundle into back of car and drive to middle of country and perform high risk brain operation leaving them in a veggie state. I am not one for sitting on my **** and watching this happen. F**k the lot of them. I would NOT back down.
Best wishes
Lennox Lewis
Plan B
Kick the living c**p out of him/them and using tie cords, restrain scum, bundle into back of car and drive to middle of country and perform high risk brain operation leaving them in a veggie state. I am not one for sitting on my **** and watching this happen. F**k the lot of them. I would NOT back down.
Best wishes
Lennox Lewis
10 January 2002, 09:17 PM
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My security?
Three words.
Garage.
Paint mine.
I'm sure I don't need to expalin what a garage is, and I appreciate that if they want your car then they'll probably get into the garage regardless. Hence the other two words.
What's a paint mine? It looks like a cross between a "Simon" machine (remember those?) and a smoke alarm. It's got a thunderflash (BIG banger) in the middle and it is full of liquid. Normally paint, but not necessarily.
I have 2. 1 is full of permanent flourescent yellow paint. I only use it when I'm away because it would really f*ck up the contents of my garage. The other is full of silage. That's about a quid a gallon from your local pig farmer. It, um, doesn't smell very nice.
Thief sets mine off when s/he trips the wire. There is a fecking great bang and they get hit by 6 pints of hot pigsh*t doing about 60fps. And the garage fills with smoke.
If we're away then I set both mines, so not only can you smell 'em a mile away, you can see them as well.
And guess what. It is *entirely* legal. 'Specially when you put a notice up.
You can also get neat "scare the crap out of people" devices. You load a blank shotgun cartridge (and I mean blank - a live one will explode) into this spring loaded gizmo, and when someone trips the wire it fires the cartridge. Very loud, very unpleasant and again totally legal.
I know the temptation to go out and be a hero is nearly overwhelming, but it *really* isn't worth it. I taught unarmed combat to Royal Marines, I'm an ex commando and I know how to look after myself. If someone breaks into my house and threatns my wife or daughter then I will answer to the jury and/or God. If someone wants to take my property, though, although I'm not going to make it easy for them at the end of the day it's only a lump of metal...
Did I just say that? Must be tired...
SB
Three words.
Garage.
Paint mine.
I'm sure I don't need to expalin what a garage is, and I appreciate that if they want your car then they'll probably get into the garage regardless. Hence the other two words.
What's a paint mine? It looks like a cross between a "Simon" machine (remember those?) and a smoke alarm. It's got a thunderflash (BIG banger) in the middle and it is full of liquid. Normally paint, but not necessarily.
I have 2. 1 is full of permanent flourescent yellow paint. I only use it when I'm away because it would really f*ck up the contents of my garage. The other is full of silage. That's about a quid a gallon from your local pig farmer. It, um, doesn't smell very nice.
Thief sets mine off when s/he trips the wire. There is a fecking great bang and they get hit by 6 pints of hot pigsh*t doing about 60fps. And the garage fills with smoke.
If we're away then I set both mines, so not only can you smell 'em a mile away, you can see them as well.
And guess what. It is *entirely* legal. 'Specially when you put a notice up.
You can also get neat "scare the crap out of people" devices. You load a blank shotgun cartridge (and I mean blank - a live one will explode) into this spring loaded gizmo, and when someone trips the wire it fires the cartridge. Very loud, very unpleasant and again totally legal.
I know the temptation to go out and be a hero is nearly overwhelming, but it *really* isn't worth it. I taught unarmed combat to Royal Marines, I'm an ex commando and I know how to look after myself. If someone breaks into my house and threatns my wife or daughter then I will answer to the jury and/or God. If someone wants to take my property, though, although I'm not going to make it easy for them at the end of the day it's only a lump of metal...
Did I just say that? Must be tired...
SB
10 January 2002, 09:35 PM
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I think I know what I would do, having seen a bunch of trouble makers outside the other night and getting my trainers on and my bat ready. It is not right, or clever, but each person has their own reaction for whatever reason.
The likelyhood is that if you go outside, maybe tooled up, you will come off better - most thieves are opportunist, or at best amateur - the odd few are ready and able to deal with an angry victim, but only a few (probably).
The risk is there, that you may come across someone that'll stab you or summitt, but there is risk in all we do. I have had 2 cars broken into - that put my premiums up, and i'm still paying - it would indeed be a very large car thief to deter me from kicking the **** out of them, or trying at least.
And I would ensure that if I did serious damage that I did some to myself and stated he started it, and I acted in self-defence, hopefully deterring a GBH suit.
**** em - they want a good kicking and I for one will give it to them.
The likelyhood is that if you go outside, maybe tooled up, you will come off better - most thieves are opportunist, or at best amateur - the odd few are ready and able to deal with an angry victim, but only a few (probably).
The risk is there, that you may come across someone that'll stab you or summitt, but there is risk in all we do. I have had 2 cars broken into - that put my premiums up, and i'm still paying - it would indeed be a very large car thief to deter me from kicking the **** out of them, or trying at least.
And I would ensure that if I did serious damage that I did some to myself and stated he started it, and I acted in self-defence, hopefully deterring a GBH suit.
**** em - they want a good kicking and I for one will give it to them.