The Zohan

The first time i heard this old chestnut was some 5+ years ago and it was the DJ and well known charley snorter (apparently) Goldie and Clarkson.

Thevoicewithin

I try not to take life too seriously thats all fella.

If I did I may resort to trawling web-sites and trying to catch people out when they`re just trying to bring a little smile to peoples faces

Lifes too short

MattW

LMAO

Sonic'

One MattW might appreciate

met Steve Rothery (guitarist from Marillion) for the first time many years ago, and commented to him about his rather large increase in weight

his answer 'I had a choice, cocaine or chocolates, guess which won '

Wurzel

iTrader: (1)

Went and serviced Brian Mays alarm system at his house in Windelsham when I was 18, we got greeted by this tall skinny bloke with wild hair, proceeded to wander round every room in his house, looked at some Queen posters on hall floor, asked him what they were all about and he said they were proofs or summat, never thought much of it and carried on, finally got him to sign the service docket and left. only when I got back to the office was I told who he actually was

Also met Anneka Rice when I was on challenge Anneka and she is really small

Sonic'

Her Bum isn't

Iwan

I was at Cadwell Park a few years ago watching the British Superbike Championship and went to the toilets near the pits. As I went in to the Gents door, Suzi Perry was coming out of the Ladies.

Some bloke nearby "excuse me are you Suzi Perry"?

Suzi (smiling brilliantly) "hi, yes I am"

Bloke "cool, have you just been for a ****?"

Suzi (looking shocked) "....." (storms off in a huff to the commentary box).

MattW

Oh yes!

From this



To this!!

The Zohan

I Once spoke to John Travlota on the phone, he called a chap who owned and operated old jet fighters - vampires and venoms amongst others.

He called up and asked for the chap, i asked who was calling, he said 'John Travolta'. The best i could manage was "The John Travolta?!?" to which he replied "I guess so!" - i was completly star struck at the tender age of 22.

Drunken Bungle Whore

I once got hammered and asked Paul Merton whether he'd been to Oxford or Cambridge (I was young and thought that was where they all came from!). "With this accent darling?" was all he said......

I also spent a very long and drunken evening with Paul Darrow (Tarrant from Blakes 7) where he told me all about the cheap special effects they had on the show. He was a fabulous bloke - really good company.

Favourite famous person quote was told by Jimmy Tarbuck about Tommy Cooper. Back stage after a Royal Variety show, the Queen was going along the line shaking hands and gets to Tommy:

TC: Excuse me ma'am, may I ask you a question?
Q: Well, ok, yes Tommy, you can.
TC: Do you like football ma'am?
Q: To be honest, no, I'm not terribly fond of the sport.
TC: In that case, could I have your tickets to the next FA Cup final?

James Neill

iTrader: (1)

With a bunch of people in the American Airline lounge at JFK - we were all over in New York working on a big IT project. Who should we bump in to but none other that Bruce Forsyth. Have a bit of a chin wag as we seem to be the only Brits in the lounge - and none of the yanks know who he is. Perfect gentleman. He wanders off after a while. Later the flight is called and we get on board. We're in first class as we struck a deal with AA given the amount of travel back and forth we do.

Anyway we basically fill first class and are getting settled in when Bruce gets on the plane. He looks at us all and with a sigh and head bowed he stays dead-pan and says "bloody hell, I'm in the wrong job" as he continues through to lowly business class. Perfect delivery, just cracked us up.

He's definatelly one of the good guys.

martinbrown

About 5 years ago when i used to work in a sport shop i met frank tate from Emmerdale. He walked in and asked for some hiking socks. I looked at him and said "right you are frank". He looked at me like i was "special", shook his head and walked out.
My manager almost wet himself laughing

Martin

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Bill Bailey after a gig in the bar, me bladdered trying to get him to go on to a club and failing that, back to our gaf for a booze up and I was going to cook some Chicken Burgers, he said it was a tempting offer but he would have to decline. Very very intelligent bloke !

Random conversation with Gaby Roslin about kids once.

Tried to fix Geoffrey Hughe's (Onslow/Eddie Yates) laptop when he visited the in-laws (his missus is my father in laws ex), top bloke.

druddle

Me and a mate had a very in depth conversation with Norman Jay about the virtues of fried chicken and kermit the frog at the Southport Weekender a couple of years back.......

Sonic'

Talking of fixing laptops, we just got 3 members of Hollyoaks laptops in for service/repair

Some interesting things there too

davegtt

Share and share alike

Sonic'

The guy who is sat opposite me dealing with wont let me look now

Dracoro

Not me, but my best mate was in Prague and goes up to this chap and says "Did anyone ever tell you that you look just like Rufus Sewell?"

Chap replies "Yes, my mother"

!!!

The Zohan

Are you sure they are laptops not Tomy speak and spell machines?

Hollyoaks - TV for the hard of thinking

Sonic'

I thought it was Hollyoaks - eye candy for the masses

It turns out these laptops only have stuff that is to do with the show as they are prop laptops

loads of pics etc but only what is already available on the net etc

jaytc2003

iTrader: (1)

back in the mid to late 90s when mr blobby was around and new, our works christmas do had the real geniune blobby (no expense spared on the entertainment, had kavanagh one year!!)
I had drunk loads (as you do with free drinks) and then this blobby burst through a fake wall and bashed into me. I then proceeded to pummel him and his minder stopped me and said dont do that as he had a metal frame in the suit. Jaytc2003 1 - Mr blobby 0 (on the floor as well )

BuRR

Talking of Hollyoaks, I recently examined one of the phones of the cast.

He'd been naughty, and there were some (unrelated) naughty pics on there too

davyboy

He contacted me recently about 944 Turbos and track day modifications.

Sonic'

Yes he told me recently he has been back with his Porche

One of his hobbies along with photography too

NAF

must have nearly taken yer eye out!!

lol

mickywrx

iTrader: (29)

Wasn't really funny, but a couple of years ago had a delivery in Jesmond-is area. 3 big houses, electric gates, intercom, you get the idea.

Anyway,

The parcel was for Craig Bellamy, that lovely footballer who never gets into trouble.

After he signed for the parcel had a little natter,

I said something along the lines of:

"Aye, you must be on a canny wedge, big house, four new cars on the drive"

Little Welsh twerp:

"We don't make very much, Freddy (Shepherd) owns these houses"

My reply;

"F*ck off, you lying ****"

Like I say, not really funny, but hey-ho, made me chuckle.

fatscoobfella1

iTrader: (1)

Had some "interesting" chats with Bez and Shaun Ryder,they live round the corner from me.
Got larupped with Jonny Vegas in the Grapes in Manchester..
Spent 2 minutes talkin to Cat Deeley in the Living room in Manchester..Nearly shot my muck in my pants..

Dont know if i should admit this,but Shane Ward goes in my old local,we just used to throw ale at the little turd!!Seriously tho,he is a nice fella..

Bubba po

I once said to Steve Berry off of old Top Gear:

" 'ere.... you're that c**t off the telly, aren't you?"

Chip Sengravy

S'cuse me, your'e that c**t off old muppets, aren't you?

Bubba po

Some might remember me from that old show, yes. And what a c**t I was.

Still am, in fact - just ask dpb.