Lisawrx

iTrader: (1)

As long as he is not in the same room, a tiny amount of drifting smoke may cause the smell but in the grand scheme of things, should not harm him as he is only in that situation once a week anyway, not every day all day.

A little perspective, will you keep him indoors, so he is not exposed to all the pollutants in the air from vehicles and industry?

Just think it may cause a rift for the sake of a smell, which can easily be solved by washing him and his things when he comes home. It's only once a week.

rb5_336

have you ever been in a car with someone who's just had a ***; stinks and the smoke is still within their respitory system for longer than you think.

Absolutely no way on earth would I let this happen to a kid of mine. Just my opinion obviously :-)

Lisawrx

iTrader: (1)

Don't dispute that, and it's probably worth mentioning that they would prefer the grandparents didn't smoke in the car when the baby is there, but I would not kick up a fuss about them smoking in the house, so long as they aren't smoking over him.

Odds on

When my Daughter was a month or so old, we was round the in laws and her dad sparked up a *** and pasted one to her mum in the living room. I just asked him what he was doing.

He said "having a ***", I said "Oh, right. Well were leaving, bye". Picked the baby up, stuck her in her car seat and said to the misses "You ready?"

Judging by the shouting I heard as we all left, the mother in law wasn't impressed with him making us leave....

They've been good as gold ever since

Defiantly stand your ground on this, no one will ever think bad of you for looking out for your child's health.

NACRO

You aren't, you've already stopped and you now need to change your mind set to realise that nicotine is a substance you have no need of or desire for. As soon as you make that switch you won't be addicted anymore.

As for the issue with your parents, tell them how you feel but don't threaten them with the loss of their time with your son.

Dream Weaver

Nacro - not sure who your first sentence is aimed at, I quit 7 months back now

Well I bottled it last night after an argument with the mrs and decided I would give it to them straight this morning, but when they turned up they were having a good time with him so I didn't want to spoil it.

Before they left I re-iterated to them that I don't want anyone smoking in the house when he is there or in the car, and they promised that they always go outside when he is there and never smoke near him so for now I guess I should leave it at that and monitor the situation.

Thanks for the help so far all, we'll see how it goes - I just hope the mrs understands my reasonings as she was quite mad last night when I said I wasn't going round to lay down the law.

DCI Gene Hunt

So you argued with the wife, ranted on SN... they arrived.... and you said.... NOTHING

And as they were leaving you muttered about not smoking near him.... and you're now MONITORING the situation

Maybe it's worth installing a smoke alarm in the baby's pram or carry chair?? just to help you monitor things

53

iTrader: (41)

Mate family comes first but don't let your Mrs mess up relations with your parents. Don't forget she is probably feeling guilty about leaving your baby to go back to work, and her body/brain is still recovering from having a baby. Don't let the smoking 'problem' become an issue to vent other repressed feelings to do with starting a family. Its a tricky time and you have to be Mr cool and supportive. Good luck I still haven't mastered it.

DCI Gene Hunt

The issue is clearly one between him and his parents, dragging the wife into a heated discussion is unfair against her! But some men find it easier to pick on/argue with their wife rather than face the reality of the situation unfolding in front of them and have a confrontation!

Leslie

I think you did it the right way and got the point across without causing ructions with your parents. As you say, watch how it goes and if they do smoke near him again then you can take firmer action.

Its not easy to tread carefully between your wife and your parents. Hope it sorts out alright.

Les

Jay m A

iTrader: (2)

Its tricky isn't it?

Both grandparents (my dad, her mum) gave up smoking when our daughter was born, but my dad started up again a few years later. We now have a son as well and everytime the kids go round to my parents my dad never smokes in the house on the day that they are there. Its also well aired prior to arrival. But unfortunately he is one of those that smokes in the car, windows up aircon on etc all year round and there is NO WAY the kids go in that car - even if they say he won't smoke on that particular journey, AFAIC the car is a nicotene / smoke ingraned zone.

NACRO

You aren't and as your mind set changes you won't think like that anymore. That's what I was referring to.

Trout

iTrader: (1)

As an input to those who are commenting on this as a preference issue there is evidence that one of the contributors to sudden cot death is contact with smokers.

It does not have to be having someone smoke in the room, a simple contact with someone who smokes is linked to a greater likelihood of sudden cot death.

The risk is still low, but many times higher than it would be without that contact.

Of course DW kid will be out in the garden eating dirt in a years time, but at the moment is susceptible a greater range of risks as the body is still forming.

Leslie

Quite right.

Les

streetbeats

Been through something similar.

My 4 1/2 month old son was around my partners parents alot just after he was born, and he was a heavy smoker. He's since given up.

One of the things that really shocked me (and Im still not sure of how true this is, but its certainly believable, and I didnt want to take any risks) was something the health visitor relayed to us.
She said that babies very quickly pick up breathing patterns of people who hold them to their chest, and with heavy smokers, they can easily develop breathing irregularities.

al4x1

The missing point so far is at that age the lungs are still developing and are at their most vulnerable. We're also not talking light smokers but heavy ones and also ones who feel its a normal thing to do in their own house.
I think the only way to approach it is to say the baby is coming home stinking of smoke and you are concerned. Then as diplomatically as possible say you feel you can't ask them not to smoke in their own home but in the interest of the child you don't want him exposed to smoke. Suggest they come round to yours more often or go out with them more often but keep the kiddie out of their house.

Jay m A

iTrader: (2)

Can you provide any links? I've found reports on residual smoke etc but not contact, thanks