Absent Fathers
05 December 2007, 04:37 PM
#32
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i'll see my kids on the weekend before christmas, at my parents.
while the trains are fvcked, i spent 7+ hours on public transport to see them for about 4 hours every other sunday.
I always get there though
while the trains are fvcked, i spent 7+ hours on public transport to see them for about 4 hours every other sunday.
I always get there though
05 December 2007, 08:15 PM
#35
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By definition, absent fathers dont see their children. Being seperated does not make you an absent parent.
05 December 2007, 08:26 PM
#36
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At this point in time, while her mother plays any part in it... nope 
She went off on a crazy wild story, which all gets a bit complex and upsetting. Over the years I have grown numb to the feelings about it, but dont have a day without thinking of Sian.
Xmas together would be amazing, but I tend to not bother with Xmas these days, no child, no point for me.
She went off on a crazy wild story, which all gets a bit complex and upsetting. Over the years I have grown numb to the feelings about it, but dont have a day without thinking of Sian.
Xmas together would be amazing, but I tend to not bother with Xmas these days, no child, no point for me.
Nothing can make up for the time that you have lost, but you will be surprised how quickly you will be able to build a relationship.
There isnt an excuse that you can offer, that I havent heard. Stop making them; none of them are good enough. Get your finger out: how many more Christmasses are you going to spend seperated?
Simon
05 December 2007, 08:31 PM
#37
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Stop making excuses and do something about it Michael. Whatever bad outcome you fear cant actually be as bad as sitting, doing nothing and letting it continue. At thirteen your daughter is old enough to start making her own decisions about this and formingher own opinion too.
Nothing can make up for the time that you have lost, but you will be surprised how quickly you will be able to build a relationship.
There isnt an excuse that you can offer, that I havent heard. Stop making them; none of them are good enough. Get your finger out: how many more Christmasses are you going to spend seperated?
Simon
Nothing can make up for the time that you have lost, but you will be surprised how quickly you will be able to build a relationship.
There isnt an excuse that you can offer, that I havent heard. Stop making them; none of them are good enough. Get your finger out: how many more Christmasses are you going to spend seperated?
Simon
I have had 8 years of pain with the whole matter, from depression to anger etc, and if I could do something about it without affecting her quality of life, I would.
This is not my thread, and I didnt post to get sympathy, or help with the matter, just stating my particular case.
05 December 2007, 08:58 PM
#38
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Rotating holidays & Christmas.
Year 1 we have my eldest 2 half terms, 3 weeks of the summer hols, & finish of school on dec 20xx Christmas eve Christmas day & Boxing day he then goes back the day after boxing day.
Year 2, its 1 half term, 3 weeks of summer hols & then from the day after boxing day until either new years day or the day after.
we have other arrangements, but thats for weekends
Mart
Year 1 we have my eldest 2 half terms, 3 weeks of the summer hols, & finish of school on dec 20xx Christmas eve Christmas day & Boxing day he then goes back the day after boxing day.
Year 2, its 1 half term, 3 weeks of summer hols & then from the day after boxing day until either new years day or the day after.
we have other arrangements, but thats for weekends
Mart
05 December 2007, 08:59 PM
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06 December 2007, 10:05 AM
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My partner has an 8 year old daughter - he and she split up when his daughter was almost 1. At first he saw her every weekend - until she found out about me! She stopped all contact completely and things got VERY VERY nasty - guess it didn't help that we were mates from college!!!
Anyway, long and short - it took him nearly 3 years to get contact and in that time, he had to attend a contact centre for supervised access, we had to kennel our dog, have TWO CAFCASS reports - which both prooved to hold nothing sinister.
Eventually it finally got arranged - we have his daughter every alternate weekend, he got parental rights - we have her in the holidays and alternate Xmas - things now are pretty rosy now. The X has moved on and we've come full circle - but we went through the mill to get here!
Anyway, long and short - it took him nearly 3 years to get contact and in that time, he had to attend a contact centre for supervised access, we had to kennel our dog, have TWO CAFCASS reports - which both prooved to hold nothing sinister.
Eventually it finally got arranged - we have his daughter every alternate weekend, he got parental rights - we have her in the holidays and alternate Xmas - things now are pretty rosy now. The X has moved on and we've come full circle - but we went through the mill to get here!
06 December 2007, 10:51 AM
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06 December 2007, 11:19 AM
#44
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But there's always one who nit picks! 
I'm sensing that those of you who do have access, have quite a bit of it. I'm in a situation where Christmas arrangements have just been enquired about - 3 weeks before Christmas! So, that's the reason for the question. Last year he wasn't bothered at all....
I'm sensing that those of you who do have access, have quite a bit of it. I'm in a situation where Christmas arrangements have just been enquired about - 3 weeks before Christmas! So, that's the reason for the question. Last year he wasn't bothered at all....
06 December 2007, 11:53 AM
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But there's always one who nit picks!
I'm sensing that those of you who do have access, have quite a bit of it. I'm in a situation where Christmas arrangements have just been enquired about - 3 weeks before Christmas! So, that's the reason for the question. Last year he wasn't bothered at all....
I'm sensing that those of you who do have access, have quite a bit of it. I'm in a situation where Christmas arrangements have just been enquired about - 3 weeks before Christmas! So, that's the reason for the question. Last year he wasn't bothered at all....
06 December 2007, 12:16 PM
#47
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06 December 2007, 12:25 PM
#48
Nice to hear and see that so many guys/fathers on here , in a similar situation , are making the best of it.
I am having my two ankle biters for xmas eve and xmas day up to lunchtime. It wasnt my turn this year, but Osma bin Heather (for that is the ex's name
) said she was quite happy to get rid of them for a while.
I just love seeing their faces on xmas day that it makes it for me
I am having my two ankle biters for xmas eve and xmas day up to lunchtime. It wasnt my turn this year, but Osma bin Heather (for that is the ex's name
) said she was quite happy to get rid of them for a while.I just love seeing their faces on xmas day that it makes it for me
06 December 2007, 12:45 PM
#49
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Gooner had his daughter last Xmas - which was really good - infact it worked out SO much better than her coming over at 5pm on Xmas night! The "rat" - (X) did say it would be better again this year if we had her again for xmas day etc - BUT the littlen wanted to see her mum - which is fair enough - I think when you have children who are old enough to make decisions - without imposing your own personal views of their "absent" parent - you should let them make up there own mind! To a degree at least - they should certainly have a say - if old enough!
Make sure it's what's best for the kid(s)
06 December 2007, 01:59 PM
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