Father to do 50 hours community work for disciplining daughter
#31
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#32
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Agreed, If anything it was the fear and the stigma attached to being punished.
As i have said before kids know all their rights biut non of their responsibilities. No nort all kids are bad but those that are know they can get away with doing pretty much what they like and when the like. What example does this set for those who are good.
Teens and alcohol abuse is now a big problem - when we called the emergency services some two months agao when our ledest had a bad reaction to cahsew nbuts the paramedic told us that Ayla was the first child (out of 15) she had treated that day that was not alcohol related.
Teens and drugs also in the increase and a problem.
Tens and violennce, gun and knife use - gov't tell us it is not a problem, i do not believe that!
This decline is due to the namby pamby 'bludgeon' of approach, make sweeping laws that on papaer look good but in reality are easily misused.
Common sense is what is needed.
Just off to put my soapbox away...
As i have said before kids know all their rights biut non of their responsibilities. No nort all kids are bad but those that are know they can get away with doing pretty much what they like and when the like. What example does this set for those who are good.
Teens and alcohol abuse is now a big problem - when we called the emergency services some two months agao when our ledest had a bad reaction to cahsew nbuts the paramedic told us that Ayla was the first child (out of 15) she had treated that day that was not alcohol related.
Teens and drugs also in the increase and a problem.
Tens and violennce, gun and knife use - gov't tell us it is not a problem, i do not believe that!
This decline is due to the namby pamby 'bludgeon' of approach, make sweeping laws that on papaer look good but in reality are easily misused.
Common sense is what is needed.
Just off to put my soapbox away...
#33
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corporal punishment of any child that is old enough to be reasoned with is only done to make the person giving the punishment feel better. i have smacked all my kids but after the age of 3 i do it from frustration, not because its the best punishment - and anyone who thinks it is must have a pretty poor ability to communicate with their kids in any other way.
my eldest is now 11 and she would never be smacked at that age....why on earth would i??? i wouldnt smack her mother...or my mother....or any other adult for that matter. She can be reasoned with and, if necessary, punished in so many other ways......hitting her would do nothing other than **** her off. Its the child equivalent of a speeding fine.....they know they have done wrong but still regard the punishment as inappropriate.
#34
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The odd punch? Oh Man...
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he says how he had the odd punch and adopts the "it never did me any harm" attitude ...... yet mentions he was a "pain in the ****"!
must be a bizarre coincidence that none of my 4 kids are a pain in the **** and none of them get punched! I must be lucky
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some people cant see the wood for the trees!
he says how he had the odd punch and adopts the "it never did me any harm" attitude ...... yet mentions he was a "pain in the ****"!
must be a bizarre coincidence that none of my 4 kids are a pain in the **** and none of them get punched! I must be lucky
he says how he had the odd punch and adopts the "it never did me any harm" attitude ...... yet mentions he was a "pain in the ****"!
must be a bizarre coincidence that none of my 4 kids are a pain in the **** and none of them get punched! I must be lucky
Perhaps we use the same toothpaste or something, it must be some chemical thing, because no way could you raise children without giving them a good beating.
#37
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You have NO idea who I am or the level of my parenting skills. You have even less idea of the behavoiur of my children. My children are 9 & 3 years. Prior to BOTH going to school they were the perfect children. Well mannered and helpful. My nine year old now plays the helpful card at home while bullying children at school for being overweight. That is something he DOESN'T get from us as we are BOTH on the heavy end of big. My 3 year old has been in nursery for FOUR months and is not the child we sent in september.
Both of their attitude changes have been through outside influence. MY children know the behaviour I expect and display it. They also know the behaviour their peers expect and display it for them. The day WILL come when they will think they are big enough to dislay any attitude they like in front of me. This has nothing to do with my parenting skills and everything to do with my power as a parent being removed from me by pc people with power mad aspirations.
#38
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How bizzare - the people with the "smack 'em, it'll do em good" attitude have the problem children.
Must be the goverment and PC loons ......
Must be the goverment and PC loons ......
#39
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You say you are both large...do you mean "a little large" or proper overweight? Maybe he is embarrassed by that and so takes it out on kids he can get away with mocking because he doesnt feel able to discuss it with you.......sounds more like it than it being Tony Blairs fault dont you think?
#40
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Not at all I think it's about having respect for your parants, my 2 boys got the occasianal slap if they spoke out of turn espcilly too their Mum, and I am proud to say they give me respect today.
Cheers
Colin
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how far would your boys have to go before you felt that punching them was appropriate? I assume there is some level of rudeness/lack of respect they could show where you decide to up that "smack" to a nice back hander?
#42
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Clearly to me it is obvious that children are hugely influenced in how to behave by all of their surroundings, and a lot of that time is spent away from their parents at schools etc. Unfortunately circumstances can arise where it is impossible for good parents to manage this effectively.
Of course if you are able to send your children to private schools and so they can avoid mixing with bad kids then it is easy to believe that it is all down to parenting skills and nothing else...ie snug rhino. Don't react badly to snug rhino's 'you are a bad parent' comment, he doesn't know any better as he doesn't have the parenting expererience of this type.
Ted
Of course if you are able to send your children to private schools and so they can avoid mixing with bad kids then it is easy to believe that it is all down to parenting skills and nothing else...ie snug rhino. Don't react badly to snug rhino's 'you are a bad parent' comment, he doesn't know any better as he doesn't have the parenting expererience of this type.
Ted
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Difficult? Yes. Impossible? No.
That just an excuse, its just not accpeting the blame for not taking an active interest in your child.
A child freinds and peers have an influence on matter, of course - But a child will have an instilled sense of right and wrong from an early age, and as long as you leep an active communacation channel with them, then there is no reason for them to go off the rails in any significant way. Of course they will rebel at times, but they know the limits.
I have never hit my kids, and never will, one goes to a comprehensive state school the other goes to college. Have they been in scrapes? Of course, they aren't angels. But do they have an inherent sense of right and wrong? Absolutley.
#44
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SN seems to want to have its cake and punch it.
Ask about moral decline and the accusation is individuals not taking personal responsibility for their actions.......ask about kids and the parents rush to blame the government, the class mates and bad luck!
Ask about moral decline and the accusation is individuals not taking personal responsibility for their actions.......ask about kids and the parents rush to blame the government, the class mates and bad luck!
#46
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Do you feel there is no difference between a clip round the ear and that?
#49
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lol.....insane. To answer your question...no, i cant. I suppose if i found myself in that situation i'd have to give it some more thought.
Is your suggestion that, in the absence of an alternative i should back hand her? and if so, what would that achieve?
Is your suggestion that, in the absence of an alternative i should back hand her? and if so, what would that achieve?
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#52
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swings and roundabouts...you lose a little ****e of a child but gain big respect from the SN parents association. I suppose if you also beat up some polish builders and slap a couple of gays you may get an award or something?
#53
You clearly diddn't go to one then. The cane was a legend like a bogy man of what could happen if you went wrong and it has always stood as an ultimate punishment after which only expulsion and suspension are left.
#54
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We live in a "policed" stated whether we like it or not.
Parents are told how they should raise their young, told they cannot discipline their young and if the state feels the parents are not doing their job, can take away their children into foster homes.
We live in an imoral society, perpetuated by the nonsense kids see on TV and films, where it's okay to be stupid, ignorant, abusive etc. There are no rules set out for children, and the ones that are, are so flimsy they are openly abused by the children (as in the case of this girl).
My kid's will never do this and I am making sure of that by disciplining them but making sure I do it in a way that they understand i.e why something was wrong etc... but I wonder wtf they will get taught at school.. will it contradict what I am trying to teach my kids and result in my own personal "Omen" twins demanding I sacrifice myself at their leggo altar?!
Jokes aside that girl needs to be taken away from her parents, to a 3rd world country, made to look at people in poverty and do some work there for a few months - that should birng her back to earth.
But then again she really could be the antichrist!
Parents are told how they should raise their young, told they cannot discipline their young and if the state feels the parents are not doing their job, can take away their children into foster homes.
We live in an imoral society, perpetuated by the nonsense kids see on TV and films, where it's okay to be stupid, ignorant, abusive etc. There are no rules set out for children, and the ones that are, are so flimsy they are openly abused by the children (as in the case of this girl).
My kid's will never do this and I am making sure of that by disciplining them but making sure I do it in a way that they understand i.e why something was wrong etc... but I wonder wtf they will get taught at school.. will it contradict what I am trying to teach my kids and result in my own personal "Omen" twins demanding I sacrifice myself at their leggo altar?!
Jokes aside that girl needs to be taken away from her parents, to a 3rd world country, made to look at people in poverty and do some work there for a few months - that should birng her back to earth.
But then again she really could be the antichrist!
#55
I have never hit my son and I hope I will never have to. That does not mean I won't consider it a possibility. The difference is I don't lose my temper and would never administer corporal punishment in anger which is something some people are clearly incapable of doing.
Last edited by Luan Pra bang; 17 December 2007 at 04:51 PM.
#56
some people cant see the wood for the trees!
he says how he had the odd punch and adopts the "it never did me any harm" attitude ...... yet mentions he was a "pain in the ****"!
must be a bizarre coincidence that none of my 4 kids are a pain in the **** and none of them get punched! I must be lucky
he says how he had the odd punch and adopts the "it never did me any harm" attitude ...... yet mentions he was a "pain in the ****"!
must be a bizarre coincidence that none of my 4 kids are a pain in the **** and none of them get punched! I must be lucky
It is typically narrow minded of you to suggest that all children are the same. Believe it or not children are different and individual and respond to things differently.
A very close friend of mine works for a ministry of defence contractor . He went to one of the worst schools in the UK but worked very hard to study and get himself somewhere in life. He has achieved what he wanted to and is a skilled Martial artist who has never been in trouble with he police or at school.
His sister has been a little demon since she was thirteen, using fake cheques stealing cars and when she was older she ended up being the girlfriend of the leader of china towns 14k triads. The parents are two of the most loving people you could ever meet but struggled to contain their teenage tearaway becuase whenever they tried to disipline her she called childline and got social services involved. They only ever smacked her once as a teenager and as a result she was moved to foster care for 2 months.
They are intelligent careing people who educated both of their extremely clever children well but had no tools to deal with one of them. For you to suggest that they are bad parents is rude and insulting and to think that you have all the answers just because you children were not so problematic is massive ignorance.
#57
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Instead of typing so much...try typing less but with some accuracy. I never said all kids are the same - i said smacking them across the face is not right. I also pointed out that the ones in favour of such an approach where the ones who had the problem kids.....i dont believe in hitting my kids and mine are fine.
you disagree?
you disagree?
#58
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I have never hit my son and I hope I will never have to. That does not mean I won't consider it a possibility. The difference is I don't lose my temper and would never administer corporal punishment in anger which is something some people are clearly incapable of doing.
So if your kid required a beating (an act you have already stated may be appropriate) you would administer it in a calm and controlled way would you?
Sounds to me like the punches you had as a child left a bigger impression on you that you think.
#60
He was sick on the floor and demanded his mother clean it up. His dad then knocked him clean out. This was a simple and planned response to a discipline problem and a fair punishment. There may be other ways of dealing with it but in my view none would have been as effective.