Arrgh... need some advice
13 April 2008, 12:36 AM
#31
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btw - I'm not just a do gooder god bothering type of idiot. Two of my best mates (brothers) used to go drinking with us and go home on a bike. We all had bikes and we all enjoyed the odd spirited run, where it was reasonably safe to do so, but no-one else would even get on a bike pissed, never mind 4 times a week. We kept telling the brothers that it would end in tears. One night they left the pub while we waited on a taxi. Taxi arrived after about 5 minutes, so we reached the 'accident' before the police and ambulance. They had managed to cut a car in half. Car driver had lost a leg and an arm. One mate was mostly intact hanging through the back seat and window of the car. We couldn't find our other mate for some minutes, then someone found a boot. Then a crash helmet. Then they police arrive with floodlights. The boot still contained a leg, and the helmet contained a head. That was 1989...... Ever since, I would rather someone lose their job and freedom cos I had daubed them in than have to bury the bits we could find and watch a 22 year old widow come to terms with what is, what was and what might have been. I still see the car driver occasionally. He has a wheelchair that he controls with his working hand. His hand and his wheelchair is all he has left almost 20 years on. Our other mate died in 1995 having never regained consciousness........ so if he really is a mate, do him a favour and get him off the road
13 April 2008, 12:39 AM
#32
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Forget all of this should I shouldn't I business. If you are all real friends who don't want to see any of you in trouble, let alone the other losses that may occur, then why not just organise a taxi to TAKE you to the poker evening. That way no-one can drive home pissed or stoned. It make sense. 
13 April 2008, 12:41 AM
#33
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Forget all of this should I shouldn't I business. If you are all real friends who don't want to see any of you in trouble, let alone the other losses that may occur, then why not just organise a taxi to TAKE you to the poker evening. That way no-one can drive home pissed or stoned. It make sense.
To the poster with bright writting, it doesn't make a point more valid.
13 April 2008, 12:43 AM
#34
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On a similar thread, my cousin (who was the same age as me) died last summer after he came off his bike trying to avoid a driver who was on the wrong side of the road (to this date it is thought the car driver was drunk, but has not been traced). After being in intensive care for 24 hours, we lost him. That is why I'd prefer people to stop their friends taking their vehicles with them if you know that any intoxicating substance will be consumed, whether it alcohol or chemicals.
Last edited by ScoobyWon't; 13 April 2008 at 12:45 AM.
13 April 2008, 12:52 AM
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They got a shout out to one of the villages south of Nottingham, where they found the biker in a hedge. They found the motorcycle around 20 meters further down the road in the hedge.
The friend on the second motorcycle had stopped and the driver of the car that the first biker had undertaken on a right-hand bend had also stopped.
When the body was recovered they found that the helmet was missing. It was recovered by the fire fighters under the bonnet of the car.
I never found out if it was a drink related accident, but that was what has stopped me from ever getting on a motor-cycle or scooter. I'd hate to put any friends or family through that situation due to my own stupidity.
13 April 2008, 01:03 AM
#37
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Righto, got bit a situation and wanted some views on it.
A mate of mine has regular Poker evenings at his place where we play semi-serious game of Poker (he has got the proper table etc so his bar room looks the part).
It's a lads get together where a handful of us meet up, catch up on the week, moan about everything being **** and have a good game of Poker or mess around on the PS3/360.
Tonight was good, 8 of us in total so we had a good game however we usually have drinks and recreational .. erm stuff going on, usually half don't drink/smoke etc because we all drive fairly high powered cars and/or can't risk being ***** on the road.
However there is always an exception.. One of the chaps happens to be a best buddy of mine, we pretty much grew up together and I was best man at his wedding so we have the usual more like brothers relationship. Problem is he is being a right **** the past few weeks.
Tonight as well he started having a few drinks, I didn't say anything but I noticed he had had a few bottles of the good stuff and when the shots came out joined in. I voiced my opinion and said anyone driving will get a kick in from me if they drink but its hard to be serious with my matey boy as I know him too well.
I tried having a go and a few of the other lads made comments he shouldn't drive, I come back from the loo and the nutter has driven off home.. in bloody M5 no less and I know he hoofs the damn car!
Now the situation to me is serious, when the other lads left there was just myself, the host Simon and my other mate Mario and we all agreed it was a bit ***** up to let anyone drive in drunk/stoned or whatever (one of Simons mate was quite drunk and drove off home in his Evo 9 the **** head!) so I popped the questions:
"If this **** goes on should we call the cops on one/all who do it?"
I left my car at my mates house and took the cab home, hopefully I'll sober up in a little while and get my car later or in the morning but I have been feeling guilty all evening now and I don't know what I should have done.
Trying to talk to my mate is useless as he just doesn't take anything seriously I say and when I do we just argue like idiots for ages and go off in a huff.
So part of me is thinking I should have called the cops, just to teach him a lesson and stop him killing himself and someone else but the other part of me is thinking **** it I have tried to stop him and it ain't working.
What would you do and what should I do?
A mate of mine has regular Poker evenings at his place where we play semi-serious game of Poker (he has got the proper table etc so his bar room looks the part).
It's a lads get together where a handful of us meet up, catch up on the week, moan about everything being **** and have a good game of Poker or mess around on the PS3/360.
Tonight was good, 8 of us in total so we had a good game however we usually have drinks and recreational .. erm stuff going on, usually half don't drink/smoke etc because we all drive fairly high powered cars and/or can't risk being ***** on the road.
However there is always an exception.. One of the chaps happens to be a best buddy of mine, we pretty much grew up together and I was best man at his wedding so we have the usual more like brothers relationship. Problem is he is being a right **** the past few weeks.
Tonight as well he started having a few drinks, I didn't say anything but I noticed he had had a few bottles of the good stuff and when the shots came out joined in. I voiced my opinion and said anyone driving will get a kick in from me if they drink but its hard to be serious with my matey boy as I know him too well.
I tried having a go and a few of the other lads made comments he shouldn't drive, I come back from the loo and the nutter has driven off home.. in bloody M5 no less and I know he hoofs the damn car!
Now the situation to me is serious, when the other lads left there was just myself, the host Simon and my other mate Mario and we all agreed it was a bit ***** up to let anyone drive in drunk/stoned or whatever (one of Simons mate was quite drunk and drove off home in his Evo 9 the **** head!) so I popped the questions:
"If this **** goes on should we call the cops on one/all who do it?"
I left my car at my mates house and took the cab home, hopefully I'll sober up in a little while and get my car later or in the morning but I have been feeling guilty all evening now and I don't know what I should have done.
Trying to talk to my mate is useless as he just doesn't take anything seriously I say and when I do we just argue like idiots for ages and go off in a huff.
So part of me is thinking I should have called the cops, just to teach him a lesson and stop him killing himself and someone else but the other part of me is thinking **** it I have tried to stop him and it ain't working.
What would you do and what should I do?
No one had the ***** to take his keys then and say, No, you aren't driving.
I have no time at all for people who drive under the influence of anything be it drugs or alcohol. Mates or not mates.
My best pal is a victim of a drunk driver, so I will say no more
13 April 2008, 02:03 AM
#38
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<nods>
Personally speaking, I will call the cops, no doubt In FZ's predicament, as the drunk driving has already taken place, and luckily no one has been hurt, I suggest a discussion with his half-a-brain mate when he is sober, and give him a bleddy good earbashing first
Personally speaking, I will call the cops, no doubt
In FZ's predicament, as the drunk driving has already taken place, and luckily no one has been hurt, I suggest a discussion with his half-a-brain mate when he is sober, and give him a bleddy good earbashing first
13 April 2008, 09:55 AM
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13 April 2008, 10:09 AM
#43
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Think I would have also called the police in the circumstances, not that I wouldn't feel bad doing so, if all else failed.
In future, this may seem like a stupid idea, but when having these lads nights, could someone in the home not be responsible for keeping all the keys of those who have driven there, and if anyone has a good drink/smoke, just don't allow them to have the keys back until they are in a fit position to drive. May cause issues at first, but once this becomes the way things are done, either they won't put themselves in a position for it not to be safe to drive or if they do, they need to find another way of getting home.
In future, this may seem like a stupid idea, but when having these lads nights, could someone in the home not be responsible for keeping all the keys of those who have driven there, and if anyone has a good drink/smoke, just don't allow them to have the keys back until they are in a fit position to drive. May cause issues at first, but once this becomes the way things are done, either they won't put themselves in a position for it not to be safe to drive or if they do, they need to find another way of getting home.
A very sad and sadly true story of some 14 years ago - 1994
Had a mate drove home - well not quite, hit a bridge in a convertable BM. He was pi$$ed -Killed himself, his partner, his brother and his brothers son(6), his little girl(4) was seriously injured, survived and now lives with her grandparents. fortunatley he did not hit anybody else and riun any more lives and families
It is stupid, dangerous and selfish and everybody - everydody knows better and what can happen.
tell him next time - if he is a mate to stop it and as his mate and friend you will call the cops if he does it agai - if there is a next time.
Also you cauld say that if he wants to continue with cards night then play fair and by the (unoffical) rules - no drink/drugs and drive.
No need to get upset or emotional just firm and let him know it is unnaceptable.
If he has just started doing this - does he have a problem - family, emotional or is drinking 'recreationals' getting on top - he may need more help than you think.
Good luck but untimately you need to be able to carry out the threat as a lst resort.
Last edited by The Zohan; 13 April 2008 at 12:31 PM.
13 April 2008, 11:12 AM
#44
I stopped a mate drink driving, bladdered after me (sober) dropping him off, he decided he was going to his girlfriends, to stop him I place my Manta GTE in the road and he was prepared to push it out of the way, however a 950 Fiesta willk always lose to a Manta so it didnt happen, his mum heard the commotion, came out and found out what was going on and royally twatted him.
I would have a very serious word and make it quite clear you WILL ring the Police if he does it again, its totally avoidable and there is no excuse, use some of the examples from this thread, decapitating someone, removing limbs, killing them etc, or really hit him hard and say he might scratch his precious M5 or get caught and never drive it again.
Sorry but sounds like a ****.
I would have a very serious word and make it quite clear you WILL ring the Police if he does it again, its totally avoidable and there is no excuse, use some of the examples from this thread, decapitating someone, removing limbs, killing them etc, or really hit him hard and say he might scratch his precious M5 or get caught and never drive it again.
Sorry but sounds like a ****.
13 April 2008, 11:33 AM
#45
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Lots of sense being spoken here
We've all been here I'm sure; just that my attitude is more that you can deal with it without dialing 999. Maybe I'm a bit old-school and the officious grassing a mate up thing sticks in my throat, but I have called taxis for people, hidden their keys, given them a lift, got their girlfriends to come to get-em etc etc If that still fails, then then the sense is above...
D
We've all been here I'm sure; just that my attitude is more that you can deal with it without dialing 999. Maybe I'm a bit old-school and the officious grassing a mate up thing sticks in my throat, but I have called taxis for people, hidden their keys, given them a lift, got their girlfriends to come to get-em etc etc If that still fails, then then the sense is above...
D
13 April 2008, 11:44 AM
#47
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Diesel, I wouldn't want to call anybody a mate who thinks it's big and clever to drink and drive.
If you or anybody in your immediate family have been affected by a drink driver then there wouldn't even be a need for the OP.
If you or anybody in your immediate family have been affected by a drink driver then there wouldn't even be a need for the OP.
13 April 2008, 11:59 AM
#49
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Nothing wrong with a few mates getting together for a game of cards etc, but I find it difficult to understand why you are so silly as to drink over the limit and take drugs when you know you have to get home afterwards. There are enough horror stories above to illustrate the likely results of such irresponsible drinking etc. Is it really worth the risk? Is it worth risking the loss of your licence even if you don't hit anyone?
What happens to you is your own choice and your affair. But is it fair on the innocent person you might hit?
Les
What happens to you is your own choice and your affair. But is it fair on the innocent person you might hit?
Les
13 April 2008, 01:28 PM
#50
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Spot On.
My sentiments on it exactly.
13 April 2008, 01:43 PM
#52
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Sadly it might also create a cry wolf scenario for the police. Not only wasting their time, but might prevent them taking the next call seriously.
Maybe a sit down with some downloaded images of drink drive crash scenes. Im sure the local road safety place will have a DVD they can lend you, or someone like BRAKE.
13 April 2008, 01:52 PM
#53
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D
13 April 2008, 02:15 PM
#54
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I genuinely can't see what the debate is about. He's putting his own and (more importantly) other peoples lives at risk.
It's lives we're talking about here. It's not complicated.
A real friend will tell you what you need to know not what you want to hear. In this case your friend needs to know that he is a complete idiot and is risking ruining many many lives.
Tell him, if he doesn't listen shop him.
You are partly responsible for any injuries (and God help us: deaths) that may occur after you have knowingly let him drink and drive.
I shopped my own brother for crashing his works car when drunk, so he'd hopefully learn the link between actions and consequences, so I am talking from experience.
It's lives we're talking about here. It's not complicated.
A real friend will tell you what you need to know not what you want to hear. In this case your friend needs to know that he is a complete idiot and is risking ruining many many lives.
Tell him, if he doesn't listen shop him.
You are partly responsible for any injuries (and God help us: deaths) that may occur after you have knowingly let him drink and drive.
I shopped my own brother for crashing his works car when drunk, so he'd hopefully learn the link between actions and consequences, so I am talking from experience.
13 April 2008, 02:20 PM
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13 April 2008, 02:24 PM
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OK, He's a prat. You and your friends need to manage the prat or disassociate yourselves from him. If you can't manage the situation you're prats too! No need to shop him, just deal with him. Take his keys, call him a cab and while you're waiting tell him some home truths. It's not difficult, it's man mangement. 
13 April 2008, 02:28 PM
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OK, He's a prat. You and your friends need to manage the prat or disassociate yourselves from him. If you can't manage the situation you're prats too! No need to shop him, just deal with him. Take his keys, call him a cab and while you're waiting tell him some home truths. It's not difficult, it's man mangement.
13 April 2008, 05:00 PM
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13 April 2008, 05:11 PM
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Why not tak ehis keys off him and take them with you in the taxi, if he won't give them to you call the cops before he leaves and they may come and 'give him a talking too' or if you are friendly with a copper get one to visit one of the nights for a chat.
Failing that report him. It is the only way I am afraid if he won't listen.
Failing that report him. It is the only way I am afraid if he won't listen.