Snazy

I know where you are coming from mate, but at the end of the day thats one of the things I sincerely consider her decision and none of my business, at this point anyway.
If her condition continues to worsen, I will do the right thing so to speak, should she not have told her by then. But the last thing I want is to lose my mums trust at a time like this.

There is no emotional distance between them, they speak almost every night, however as my aunt it approx 82-84 and not too well herself, mum does not want to cause her "unecessary worry" as she calls is. Which I can kind of understand.

Telling my aunt, either by phone or in person, still leaves her 220 miles away, unable to do anything, and not in the greatest condition to travel either. Its a catch 22 situation, which im just trying to time right.

Lisa, hospitals are usually seen that way, full of doom and gloom. Try reversing the perception, and seeing them as a place that bring life, bring hope, and try and save lives, occasionally losing one or 2 along the way.

More people come out alive and fitter, than not coming out at all. While its all clinical and pastel colours, things are much brighter under the surface

little-ginge

Snazy, I honestly don't think i can say anything more than what has already been offered, other than my thoughts are with you and that you should go to the sunshine state, chill out, and simply relax - you need to take care of you too, you know.

Take each day as it comes, and know that whatever your mum decides you are with her, and by her side 100%.

Julz1983

I totally agree with your last paragraph, my Dad didn't make it out of hospital, but the hospital staff were great at keeping things normal and making people feel there was some hope, at times like this you don't want false hope but it's nice to know some things can maybe's get slightly better and easier for all involved, especially the sufferer, in my case a life was lost. On the other hand of what you said, yes hospitals are there to save lives, lift spirits etc, it happened to me when I got rushed in in January, I thought there was nothing to look forward to but the support was great for my recovery which is still going on but the time I was in there really helped, obviously I didn't have cancer but I was still ill with something and on rock bottom, the only thing was when coming home was quite scary, knowing if I had pain or felt something was wrong at home there was no nurses or doctors to just call for and it took time getting used to to not feel that insecurity and worry.

I hope you enjoy your holiday Snazy and that things ease up for you, you know you have support off people on here too if you feel the need to vent anything, not one person is ever horrible on threads like this, which goes to show there are genuine people who feel for you or have experienced what you currently are. Cancer is a horrible disease that always leaves people asking why and it's just a shame there isn't a miracle cure for every form of the disease, it causes so much grief and heartache.

Snazy

Cheers for that Julz. Sometimes its best to look to the positives about places like hospitals. Sorry it was not so for your father . But a large percentage of staff as you say are committed, desicated, and above all, superb characters, which put together with the technology they have, is reassuring.

You will always have people who dont trust them. But sadly people are always going to pass in hospitals. They would not be in there in the first place if they were healthy. Things like MRSA dont help either. But there is a whole lot of hype about that too! Doh.

I have officially less than 2 weeks til I go away now, have many plans for the holiday, and I have to say I cant wait. I feel relaxed almost, just knowing im going soon.

The next challenge is seeing if my sister takes the bait with today, with the kids out of the way for 5-6 hours, she has plenty of time she can spend with mum. But will she.

Julz1983

Families can be strange at times like this, some people are just pure selfish, which I experienced myself and others just don't want to become to close to what is actually going on and prefer to shelter in their own little worlds.
One thing though, if your sister doesn't bother, what is she going to feel like afterwards? People blame themselves anyways even though they have been there throughout, what if someone is not there at all to ease the stress on others then always wish afterwards they had sone something?

I last seen my Dad the day before he died, I had my last scan before having my daughter, I was able to talk and get a response from him like everything was normal, the following day I didn't go to the hospital as he wasn't responsive and was really bad, I didn't go to see him at the funeral directors either, that for me was my decision and hard to come to but I wanted to remember being able to still have had that conversation as my last thought and not seeing him lying there lifeless as a last thought, other people though can decide to do that but then afterwards wish they had gone and theres nothing can be done about it then.

Speak to your sis and ask her any reasons she feels she can't or won't do anything or be there more often and make your feelings known, don't hold things back on how you are finding it all.