Lee247

This makes me and again

Was staying at my Grans. BF and I knew she always went to some WI meet on a Monday. At allocated time, she goes out and BF comes in.

Started in the lounge, you know the drill, bits of kit gets left on the way to the chosen destination.

Smack in the middle of said escapade, Gran comes home, shouting "Anyone in, the gathering has been cancelled"

Said BF had never moved so quick in his life, dived under the bed.

Gran, seeing the abandoned clothing came straight to my room and said
"You dirty young buggers, I know what you are up too. 5 minutes to get your gear and Move It"

We exited about 10 minutes later, red faced and she was in kinks, peeing herself laughing.

She was great, my Gran. RIP wonderful lady

wagrain

Going back a fair number of years . . .

A mate had asked me to look after a huge box of porno mags as he was due to be moving house the following week and didn't want his misses or their family who were helping them move to find them!
No probs, I dumped the box under my workbench at the back of the garage.
Several weeks later, having forgotten all about the porno stash, I came home from work and went into the kitchen/dining room to see what wifey was cooking for tea. . . .
There, all layed out over the worktops and dining table were the porno mags with the wife stood there waiting for me. She was not happy!

She'd been looking for some paint brushes in the garage to paint the spare bedroom, and had found my mates stash of porno mags. She assumed they were mine and was rather upset with them, and me! Despite getting my mate to come round and explain to her they were his, she was having none of it.

I suppose catchin me, **** in hand, watching a porno vid the previous week didn't help matters.

Been divorced from her for 10 years now!

ScoobyWon't

Hope you still have the magazines

wagrain

Nope, the wife ripped them all to pieces and binned them!

ScoobyWon't

No wonder you divorced her!

wagrain

She even objected to me looking at other women in the street . . . I mean, whats a man to do when he see's a good looking fit hotty walking down the street with a short skirt showing off a cracking pair of legs?

I've now got a wife that points them out to me!

LG John

When my uncle was younger he used to have an old fiesta van as his daily run around. One day he had decided that he'd dispose of his entire porno mag collection - a large one at that - and so loaded them into black bags and then into the back of the van. He was driving to a mates house down a country lane and IIRC the intention was to just sling the bags over a wall or into the woods somewhere (jackpot for the local teens!) but before he could identify a suitable spot he lifted off mid-bend, lost the back end, clipped a kerb and rolled the car several times.

Predictable the tailgate burst open and the mags were strewn over a 50m section of road and verge. He was, for the most part, uninjured but somewhat embarrassed when the emergency services were 'clearing' the Queens highway of debris

WRX_Dazza

lol at the above and reminds me of an ex colleague at work.

anyway while at Fords (when i was an apprentice) there used to be a porno club, where we'd all stick in a quid a week and one of the guys would go down to his local newsagent and pick up the shuffle mags. this guy looked a bit like roy kinnear, to paint a visual picture...

anyway, one fine day, he was down there thumbing through the top shelf when the door opens and a couple of schoolgirls (14-15 yrs) walk in, anyway
this guys panicks and in an attempt to get his hand down, accidentally clips the magazine, causing a domino rally effect to spread across half the row, resulting in a floor spread made up of readers wifes, busty barmaids, and **** angels, right at the schoolgirls feet!!! the way he told the story was hilarious!!!

i think he may have passed on now, this guy, but he was a true gent!!

j4ckos mate

i was absoultey ****ting myself that i was about to run myself over.
i just couldnt get any grip on the floor.

i managed to reach in and pull the handbrake on. and it slowed it down enough for me to get my shins from under it.

ScoobyWon't

I once exposed myself infront of an SN member. I wasn't at all embarrased that she'd seen my todger, as I was completely unaware

She was embarassed though (I'm dubious about her claim of not knowing where to look).

eClaire

Stop reminding me!!!!

When I was about 17 my mate and I were heading through to Glasgow for a night out after work one Friday. We knocked off pretty early, about 3pm so bought cheap day ticket, and went to the bar at the train station for a couple before we set off. Anyway, a couple turned into a few, then just one more, then another.... it got to about 6.12 so we decided to run for the 6.15 train - still suited up from work, in heels and half cut.

Now baring in mind this was Waverly trainstation at rush hour on a Friday. There was a lot of dodging tourists, pensioners and suits. And we were half cut. Some bint was pulling a trolley, walked in front of me and my foot clipped her case. I went **** over tit quite literally.... my right one decided to make an appearance when my strapless top fell down I got up, adjusted myself and kept running, only to find out we couldn't use our cheap day tickets during rush hour. I then had to do a walk of shame back to the bar past everyone who had witnessed my exposure.

The large group of soldiers who were waiting on a train to go home on leave particularly enjoyed it

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

I managed to expose myself to a holiday rep in Kavos, went for a shower, my mate Paul shouted me, I was finished anyway, I came out bollock naked and shouted "What do you want" whilst drying myself I didnt notice the Thompson rep round the other side of the bathroom wall, sat down on the bed, came round the corner and she got my tackle at about 18 inches, right at eye level.
She wasnt bothered in the slightest, I wasnt as I was on hols and it had been a long hot shower.....

PeteBrant

You ****ing wish

ScoobyWon't

Oh, I've also done the same thing with Claire present

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Proximity, the actual appendage is only about half that

eClaire

Torquemada

Noooooooooo!!!!

Jerome

This involved me in as much as my then boss sent an embarrassing message to me...

https://www.scoobynet.com/non-scooby...r-windows.html

Lee247

I am utterly useless at holding more than one conversation on msn. I tried it once and ended up saying something really silly to Swati

Graz

We have a winner

Priceless. That has made my afternoon

eClaire

Talking of 'lady wands' (i like that ), when I left my soon to be ex husband I left mines in the bedside drawer.

When he came to bring me some stuff (most of it broken ), he started his **** in the street. I turned and walked away, then I heard 'I take it you'll be wanting this back?'. He stood waving my vibrator around.


I shook my head and walked away. I was livid as he had broken my hoover, but at least I wasn't a 21st, ginger tosser waving a bright pink rampant rabbit above his head in the middle of the street!

tmo

classic

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

i have to admit, when it comes to quotes:

"to land at the feet of two tip workers who looked round to see who was hoofing bright pink *****'s at them"

is definitely up there with the best

naughtyhunnybunny

iTrader: (7)

I haven't had such a good laugh in days, love the tip incident and as for the ginger tosser, well what more can you add to that, simply perfect !

DCR59

When I was moving house a couple of years ago, I was clearing out the loft when I found a carrier bag with about a dozen **** mags in it.
Must have been in the loft a good 15 years; when I was young free and single.

Now married with a couple of kids, I didn't want to dump them in the bin, so put them on the top shelf of my wardrobe with the intention of taking them to the tip next time I was there.

Only I forgot all about them, until the day we actually moved, and the mother-in-law who was double checking nothing had been left, found them.

I wasn't even there, but the wife told me about it later.
She thought it was hilarious.



Worse than that was a guy who works beside us.
Right into the **** films, so decides to watch one while his wife was at the shops.
Unfortunately for him, said wife bumps into an old friend of hers, and she doesn't make the shops, instead returning home with friend.
Couldn't understand why the curtains were now closed again, but soon discovered why when they opened the door to find him watching the **** with the kleenex in one hand and something else in the other.
Then brave enough to come to work and tell all of us.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Er, just to be a pedant, but it was your "Lady Wand" he was waving was it not, and you are calling him a tosser

As for the 21st and Ginger bit, he may well have put some weight on in the duration of your relationship but I doubt he dyed his hair Carrot so you are also culpable on that count as well.

Not that theres anything wrong with Gingers, some of them are rather nice if slightly translucent and prone to combust in direct sunlight.

I do appreciate your honesty, Anne Summers sells 2.6 Billion vibrators a year but very few women admit to one, if caught out they bought it for a "laugh", year right, like the times you will hear blokes having a good chuckle when they buy a gentlemans monthly...

gingerboy

Not so much for me but I was creased when this happened two summers ago.

Cast your mind back 2 years and most will remember that we had a scorching June / July with temps @ 30oC +. The evenings / nights were also very warm as well.......

Due to the barmy heat the best time to walk my two boxer dogs was late evening or after dark. So their I am walking the dogs at the local park which is vast and has areas of woodland and open clearings below.

Anyway we have walked to the top of the park and are making our way down the hill through the woods - the dogs are off lead well ahead of me. Anyway suddenly I can hear both dogs going nuts so I start running down through the woods towards the clearing fearing that they have come across another dog and it's all kicked off....... how wrong you can be

I get to the edge of the woods and two teenagers - boyfriend and girlfriend are stood on the top of a park bench, semi-clothed shouting for help as the dogs are barking at them. The lad has his jeans around his ankles and his girlfriend has nothing on from the waist down....... due to the dogs they are afraid to retrieve said clothing.

I call the dogs and leave them to return to normal colour, good god they were crimson............ factor in the dogs were not being nasty they were just being vocal. But in fairness if two boxers came bounding out of the woods at 10.30pm in the night in an unlit area and start barking what are you going to do especially mid ****

As I walked off the girfriend was going off her trolley at the poor lad who was maintaing that "no one ever comes down this end of the park"

I was creased up for ages afterwards

GB

eClaire

Just because I married a ginger doesn't make me a ginger by default He was a big lad anyway, still is. He's a rugby player and 6'3''.


You do have to ask the question why women feel that they have to hide the fact they own one nowadays. 50 years ago yes, but in 2008, hell no!

pwhittle

once parked my Uno on a steep hill, got out, locked it, and watched it set off down a long road with a blind bend at the bottom
fortunatly being light, I managed to stop it by running behind and being dragged along the road (mmmm, gravel rash!), and had to wait until someone came along so they could get in and put the brake on.

Not had much luck with brakes (or cars). I was setting the brakes up on my Fiesta racer, and drove down our fairly long drive to test them. They needed bleeding somewhat. I stopped by running into my Granada. That also had a duff handbrake, amd thus rolled out onto the street, just missing the neighbours.

Account deleted by request

chop