How would you go about making contact?
08 February 2011, 03:41 PM
#93
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Cheers again guys.
5t I get what you mean. I have no intentions of being bullish about it though, as far as I'm concerned I'm the new step father to her and will take some getting used to, she may or may not like me, let alone want to spend more time with me. Not expecting miracles.
Again with regards to money and living arrangements, I don't expect to say thanks for bring up my daughter and expect her to come and live with me or anything.
Like I say, I'm not expecting everything to be plain sailing, nor rosey. Knowing she knows about me and wants to get to know me is more than enoug for me right now.
Les, I know she does want to make contact, to me thats more than enough to comprehend right now lol.
I know she is a little overwhelmed by the family she doesn't know, a nan, an aunt, 4 cousins oh and a dad lol
5t I get what you mean. I have no intentions of being bullish about it though, as far as I'm concerned I'm the new step father to her and will take some getting used to, she may or may not like me, let alone want to spend more time with me. Not expecting miracles.
Again with regards to money and living arrangements, I don't expect to say thanks for bring up my daughter and expect her to come and live with me or anything.
Like I say, I'm not expecting everything to be plain sailing, nor rosey. Knowing she knows about me and wants to get to know me is more than enoug for me right now.
Les, I know she does want to make contact, to me thats more than enough to comprehend right now lol.
I know she is a little overwhelmed by the family she doesn't know, a nan, an aunt, 4 cousins oh and a dad lol
excellent stuff.5t.
08 February 2011, 04:07 PM
#94
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Cheers Andy.
thank you, it's really not a nice feeling.
It's numbed me towards the situation so much that I really can't build up any emotion about it. I was straight faced and calm last night when her mum showed up, and am interested and excited to see how things pan out, but not as I imagined I would be.
I'm sure in time as it becomes reality my senses will come back to life.
Life has been hollow without her, Xmas and the period around our birthdays have seemed pointless. This year I will feel so much more alive over the birthdays even though I won't see her.
It's numbed me towards the situation so much that I really can't build up any emotion about it. I was straight faced and calm last night when her mum showed up, and am interested and excited to see how things pan out, but not as I imagined I would be.
I'm sure in time as it becomes reality my senses will come back to life.
Life has been hollow without her, Xmas and the period around our birthdays have seemed pointless. This year I will feel so much more alive over the birthdays even though I won't see her.
09 February 2011, 02:42 PM
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I am really happy to hear that she does want to make that contact Snazy. I hope it all works out because I also think it is very important that she gets the chance to meet your mum.
Les
Les
09 February 2011, 04:33 PM
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30 August 2011, 03:27 PM
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Well, a post from the past, and a quick update for it.
First things first, contact was not in time for her to meet mum before she passed, which is sad, but given mums condition at the end, probably for the best. She is however aware that mum has passed away.
Semi regular contact with her mum now, so there is a line of communication, and yesterday was one of the unexpected calls from her to day that Sian is still keen to meet with me, but as the time gets closer, she is getting scared and nervous, which is more than understandable.
However there is some exciting news. She has got her exam results now for her GCSE's and she got the following. 2A's, 5B's and 5C's. While that might not seem amazing to some of the whizzes on here, I am very proud of her for getting on with her work and following her dream. College next, then Uni after, to chase her dream to be a teacher for special needs children, who she already works with anyway.
Next up, the meet. I am seeing her mum on Sat evening hopefully. To have a sit down and drink with her and her husband, who is understandably protective and keen to know there is no upset on the cards.
So thats me for now. Her name as a domain has worked, and there is no stopping me getting in touch for now. Thanks to her mum for getting in touch.
First things first, contact was not in time for her to meet mum before she passed, which is sad, but given mums condition at the end, probably for the best. She is however aware that mum has passed away.
Semi regular contact with her mum now, so there is a line of communication, and yesterday was one of the unexpected calls from her to day that Sian is still keen to meet with me, but as the time gets closer, she is getting scared and nervous, which is more than understandable.
However there is some exciting news. She has got her exam results now for her GCSE's and she got the following. 2A's, 5B's and 5C's. While that might not seem amazing to some of the whizzes on here, I am very proud of her for getting on with her work and following her dream. College next, then Uni after, to chase her dream to be a teacher for special needs children, who she already works with anyway.
Next up, the meet. I am seeing her mum on Sat evening hopefully. To have a sit down and drink with her and her husband, who is understandably protective and keen to know there is no upset on the cards.
So thats me for now. Her name as a domain has worked, and there is no stopping me getting in touch for now. Thanks to her mum for getting in touch.
30 August 2011, 04:12 PM
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Indeed it does, a page has very much turned her. Now to see how smooth this all goes.
Its an exciting time in life for me, time to get on with other things too.
Its an exciting time in life for me, time to get on with other things too.
30 August 2011, 04:22 PM
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Just read through this. Glad everything seems to be working our for you.
My wife had a similar thing happen with her dad when she was young, though it was 100% his fault that contact was lost.
My wife had a similar thing happen with her dad when she was young, though it was 100% his fault that contact was lost.
30 August 2011, 04:25 PM
#101
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Next up, the meet. I am seeing her mum on Sat evening hopefully. To have a sit down and drink with her and her husband, who is understandably protective and keen to know there is no upset on the cards.
So thats me for now. Her name as a domain has worked, and there is no stopping me getting in touch for now. Thanks to her mum for getting in touch.
So thats me for now. Her name as a domain has worked, and there is no stopping me getting in touch for now. Thanks to her mum for getting in touch.
30 August 2011, 05:58 PM
#103
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Me, adult....... oh shut up !! lol
Thanks guys, its been years in the coming, so no point being an arsehole about it.
I have to resist temptation from expressing my frustrations on my blog from time to time, but its a form of contact that works well.
Thanks guys, its been years in the coming, so no point being an arsehole about it.
I have to resist temptation from expressing my frustrations on my blog from time to time, but its a form of contact that works well.
30 August 2011, 06:33 PM
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31 August 2011, 12:30 PM
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Cheers guys. If all goes well it will indeed be the change I need, losing and gaining in this year would be wonderful.
Tim, I know what you mean, thats always been a worry at the back of my mind, about what has been said all this time, but all seems well so far, so we shall see.
Tim, I know what you mean, thats always been a worry at the back of my mind, about what has been said all this time, but all seems well so far, so we shall see.
31 August 2011, 01:30 PM
#108
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cracking thread and I hope it works out for you.
what about writing her a letter about you and yr last 10 years ? sealing it and passing it to her mum to pass on. which hopefully she will.
what about writing her a letter about you and yr last 10 years ? sealing it and passing it to her mum to pass on. which hopefully she will.
31 August 2011, 01:35 PM
#109
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Good idea Austin
What I am more likely to do is write it on the blog but set to private, until I know she is comfortable with me, then she can see it. More my thing.
I know she reads my blog from time to time, thats how contact was made initially, with her seeing talk about me and her.
But I like that idea a lot, I will get on with it now. Cheers
What I am more likely to do is write it on the blog but set to private, until I know she is comfortable with me, then she can see it. More my thing.
I know she reads my blog from time to time, thats how contact was made initially, with her seeing talk about me and her.
But I like that idea a lot, I will get on with it now. Cheers
31 August 2011, 02:37 PM
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I am very happy for you the way it seems to be going Snazy. If anyone deserves a break in life it is certainly you.
I hope all goes well with the various contacts and I would not be surprised if it ended up with you becoming good mates with your exe's husband as well when he realises your true motives.
Please keep us informed.
Les
I hope all goes well with the various contacts and I would not be surprised if it ended up with you becoming good mates with your exe's husband as well when he realises your true motives.
Please keep us informed.
Les
31 August 2011, 05:09 PM
#111
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I have to be honest, I dont think there should be any hard feeling between me and her husband. We dont know each other, my name has always been on the scene, and its Sian's wishes that count.
Also there is no hard feeling from me as I am grateful for his bringing up of Sian. Fingers crossed it will all be a simple thing. Anita, Sian's mum wants us all to be one family so its better for Sian, im fine with that.
Also there is no hard feeling from me as I am grateful for his bringing up of Sian. Fingers crossed it will all be a simple thing. Anita, Sian's mum wants us all to be one family so its better for Sian, im fine with that.
01 September 2011, 06:49 PM
#113
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Originally Posted by Snazy
Her name as a domain has worked, and there is no stopping me getting in touch for now.
01 September 2011, 07:15 PM
#114
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Good luck Snazzers
Have you got a memento of your mum that you can give to her?
d
Sorry if this has been mentioned in this thread already but life is too short to plough through your posts
Have you got a memento of your mum that you can give to her?
d
Sorry if this has been mentioned in this thread already but life is too short to plough through your posts
02 September 2011, 12:45 PM
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I have some bits that connect her to mum yes, as well as her Xmas present from 1998 still wrapped, and a pair of her flowery little socks from when she was 3. Plus tonnes of photos
like this one lol
05 September 2011, 01:35 PM
#116
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Well the meeting went VERY well, did a little blog of it ...
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...-are-laid.html
Kieran seems a very nice and likable guy. The conversation between the 4 of use was very relaxed, and we are all happy for Sian to choose if and when she makes the next step.
I know she is keen to, but realise she is nervous as hell.
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...-are-laid.html
Kieran seems a very nice and likable guy. The conversation between the 4 of use was very relaxed, and we are all happy for Sian to choose if and when she makes the next step.
I know she is keen to, but realise she is nervous as hell.
05 September 2011, 02:06 PM
#118
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Cheers Pete, im pretty happy with it all too.
Was nice to reach the stage of banter, and laughter, made it all feel far more relaxing.
Now lets see what happens.
Was nice to reach the stage of banter, and laughter, made it all feel far more relaxing.
Now lets see what happens.
05 September 2011, 02:45 PM
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Just read through the whole thread (it's a slow day in the pub), and i have to say I'm amazed by your attitude to the whole situation. You sir, have handled this in an excellent way, and I'm chuffed that you're getting slowly to the point where you may get the chance to be in regular contact with your daughter again.
Well done, and good luck going forward
Well done, and good luck going forward