hodgy0_2

just remember underneath it all they are tuff little buggers

people have babies from the ice desserts of the arctic to the sand desserts of the sahara and humanity survives all the same

its just quite tough for dad and mum -- no pain no gain

Hysteria1983

Thanks SCOsazOBY. She practivally glowed in the dark for the first week as she was so yellow!
Totally agree with what you said.
These early days will be the hardest with the breast feeding and I hope the MW has told you it can take 4 - 6 weeks to establish a feeding pattern.
I had no idea what to expect when it came to breastfeeding, and I wish I had been made more aware of some of the difficulties.
I found it very difficult with my son from the start, even in hospital I was advised to express, which is totally against all breast feeding advice now. It worked though, and got me through those tough days where I felt like my ***** were going to explode!

sbk1972

When my son born, we saw different midwives, who all gave different information. With my brother's daughter, one midwife said she was deaf, the other said she wasnt, turned out she wasnt. So, see midwives info as a guidance. I found the internet a tremendous place to search ofr information.

Whether you breastfeed or bottlefeed, its purely up to you and either way is cool. Some people get very heated up about this subject, but at the end of the day, there isnt a right or wrong way, just do what you feel is best.

However, I was told, taught in two different NCT classes, that breastfeeding and bottle feeding at trhis early stage isnt right. You have to wait for a few months.

Also, breastfeed kids poo's will look totally different from bottlefeed. That surprised me at the begining, as I thought my son had dirraaho and worried me. Also, breastmilk is far more concentrated than forumla, so dont start thinking he's not getting enough, if you express and see a small quantity.

You have to make sure your good lady is drinking enough water though. This was hte problem with my partner. You truely dont realise how much water you need to drink, if your breastfeeding. In the begining with us, our son didnt breastfeed much, was crying a lot, as he wasnt fed properly, due to the flow of breastmilk.

Also, again there's no right or wrong here, but the reason why the hosptial want you to wake him at 2 hours, is to keep him fed, although if you leave him for 4 hours, great for you, but he needs to be fed more. Also, the trick is to fed him before he gets so hungry, that he cries. Once he cries for being hungry, its harder to fed, and more chance of tons of air getting into him, so its best to top him up every 2/3hrs, as it same him getting upset / hungery.

I know everyone has thier own tricks, beliefs, but you'll find your ones sooner or later.

SBK

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

Thanks again everyone, I've been getting a bit worked up over this, I know, I know but I cant help it.

I slept on couch last night and looking at his feeding sheets he fed at 2am for 15 minuteds and then at 6 for 12, which if her milk is flowing (as is my understanding) is good.. they're both sleeping now.

I feel a right **** for sleeping on the couch but I suffer with anxiety due to a long standing stomach problem and even now I have a tight chest, diarrhoea and the feeling of impending doom.

I know I'm pathetic, and believe me no amount of insults could make me feel any worse about myself that I do... I was actually on more pain relief that my misses during the labour... ( I **** you not )

Checked on mother and baby and all looks ok, I would think he'll be up in a bit for his next feed .. been just over 3 hours and they said keep it at 4 max really ..

At the moment my misses is supporting me and the baby and I need to snap out of this state of mind and get sorted.. She said I'm being brilliant but she would ...

Again I have read all your posts and have taken info back to her, we really do appreciated it and I'm sure in a few weeks .. months, I will be able to read through this thread and laugh at myself... although its not so funny at the moment.

Hysteria1983

The tip that sbk gave is a good one. Not only to do with the wind, but also to do with getting a correct latch on the breast. A baby who is already worked up from crying will simply attempt to suck anything for comfort, and may not get latched on correctly. That will result in him not getting the milk out, and him getting more upset.... and Mrs Pimmo will get cracked nipples. I would aim to get James going no more than 3 hours in the day to be honest as that will encourage her supply to increase. At night let him sleep as long as he wants as that is a good habit or him to get into, but in the day I would aim for 3 hours at the most as the more milk he has in the day, the easier he will find it to sleep at night.
The runny green poo's are normal, and some b/f babies have terrible nappies, others do not poo for a good week! It's all normal.

Remember if your wife wants to stick at the b/f she needs your support, I can understand what it is like to be anxious, but remember how you feel now, and imagine your wife feeling like that when you go back to work after next week.

As you are on paternity leave and don't have to get up in the am I suggest you get back in the bed with Mrs Pimmo tonight and help her to feel close and let the baby bring you both together. This is supposed to be a great time for new parents to bond with each other and you are missing out on that. Don't let her feel that she is on her own with the b/f, as it can be a very lonely feeling when only the mum can feed a baby. You can still be there for the winding and the nappies, and maybe to get the little man out of the moses basket.

If she doesn't get the support she needs in these early days she could end up feeling worse down the line.

Tonight I suggest an early night, for all of you.

sbk1972

Mate, its early days with your son, so dont worry things do get better. I didnt know what I was doing, and would get stressed so quickly, due to constantly thinking that things were wrong. You see a crying baby, you instantly think he must be hurt, or something is wrong. You have to remember, crying is their only way of communicating to you.

As for being worried, anxious, dont be so hard on yourself :-) Both of you are learning, as much as everyone gives advice, at the end of the day, you will just have to stagger through and slowly learn.

Also, your lacking sleep, so your mind is never truely right. As much as Ive done long nights, worked through, etc etc, nothing prepared me for sleepless nights cuased by a baby. Your worrying all the time, not really sleeping incase you hear them cry, so after a while, you become a mess and your thoughts go crazy. So, the advice to get as much sleep, even little naps, is spot on.

There will come a time when he's crying and you just do not know what to do and you get frustrated and mad, it happened to me. Take deep breathes, and let the stress out, as that little bundle of love and pi55 is jsut a baby. Just remember things could be worse.

Come on, time to man up a bit ! :-)

SBK

Hysteria1983

Oh and I can't remember who it was who said the the **** hits the fan at 6 weeks.... both of mine were sleeping the night 10.00 til 7.00 at seven weeks old, so there was no sh1tty fan here!
Hang in there, take deep breaths and count to 10 if you need to, then...... pull yourself together! lol.

Jonnys3

I know what you're going through. Get a pillow and scream into it!!!! That's what I used to do when my newborns wouldn't stop crying and drove me up the wall. My pair would cry, cry and cry, and then wouldn't sleep because they were over-tired and cry even more.

I found walking them outside in the pram often helped - something to do with the fresh air I guess; they'd also drop off in the car seat.

Chin up mate, it's really hard work, but what you put in, you get out!



Ps my pair wouldn't breast feed at all so we just used formula from the word go (I did all the feeds believe it or not!) and don't be afraid to handle them - they're very resiliant!! Remember though that each newborn is different and what works for one might not work for another - it's a massive learning curve for mum and dad, and it's very important not to let the hardships of a newborn come between mum and dad!

Hysteria1983

http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-...44618_4647.jpg
He will soon be doing this And you really will need to count to 10! That is porridge by the way!

hodgy0_2

it was me hysteria -- but as i said every baby is different, all ours (5) were bad sleepers and had colic too (we were probably a litte too relaxed about routine and aslo had all of them sleeping in our bed till at least 16 weeks)

we used to look upon babies like yours with a combination of bewilderment and jelousy -- what were we doing WRONG!!!

but truth is we were doing nothing "wrong" every baby is different and as every one has rightfully said it does not last long in the grand scheme of things as long as they are healthly (unhealthy babies dont cry) warm and fed thats all you can hope for

at the end of the day whats news

"new baby -- dad complains due to lack of sleep" --- mmm and bears **** in the woods too

Sti_Prodrive

how old are they ? are they teeving ? are they rubbing there eyes ? is it that time where they need to kip ?

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

Man up isn't the half of it ..

I've done all the house work .. even things that didnt need doing, given her a leg and foot rub and made sure baby is ok, he's sleeping.

My other one .. (Tara - 2 yr old GSD) is a bit quiet and needs some affection too lol ..

I'm doing my best and have read every post with interest and appreciation.

Sti_Prodrive

good! if u dont mind me asking .. have u tryed laying them on there belly?? silly as it sounds but alot of kids/babys enjoy laying on there front !

Mitchy260

Who said babies are hard work?

My son slept for around 18-20hrs per day when he was a newborn, at 18mths old now he sleeps from 7-7 and around a further 4-5hrs through out the day if he's not at nursery.

Very rarely cries, although he does have a habit of throwing food at the walls, spilling juice on my new carpet, emptying every drawer and cupboard in site, knocking things off tables, and generally doing everything a child does that annoys the sh*te out of you.

All good fun though, they say boys are easier than girls. I dont think i'd be a good father to a teenage daughter though tbh so id be happy having boys. As to O.P, its good to breast feed, but you will probably find that is half the problem.

Matteeboy

Hmmm - babies are random. Our 7 month old usually sleeps well but has a few days on the trot every now and again of waking up. Last night it was 11.30, 2.00 and 5.30ish. Darn!

Think it's tooth number 2 coming through. Knackered today!

hodgy0_2

once they can climb in a car and put their own seatbelt on ---- your done

Hysteria1983

hodgy, I think I was lucky as I did not a thing to encourage them to sleep at night other that go against what my m/w said and left him to sleep as long as he wanted to at night, and fed him all the bloomin time I could in the day, well....... when he wanted it, lol! He wasn't force fed.
Like has been said EVERY baby is different. My daughter is in a whole league of her own compared to my son. If i'd have had her first we would not have had a second quite so fast! My son was a piece of cake, apart from the colic that is. But like I said before the massage eliminated that pretty darn fast.

Pimmo, you need to forget all the housework, I am sure your house won't fall down if you leave it a few days!

Is he still crying a lot? Have you found out what the triggers might be?

scoob_babe

Please don't think of yourself as a wuss, sleep deprivation is a form of torture and everyone has different ways of coping. I was able to get up for the night feed then get back to sleep easily but SJ_Skyline didn't function so well with even just one 30 min break.

We were lucky with ours as they did 4 hour feeds, one feed overnight at 4 weeks old and then 12 hours straight through from 8 weeks old and have done ever since. But, they had to be bottle fed and we did keep them to a strict routine - I'd have gone bonkers otherwise and I admit that if I had only had the one baby, I would have probably been more lax and perservered with BF more. I also think that by having the two together, they kept themselves company in the cot more rather than waking up all on their own and then crying.

I'm sure Mrs Pimmo appreciated your housework and the leg / foot rub - I woudl have done however a bit of dust right now won't matter if you are knackered as well. You're doing a good job

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

Mid wife said he has lost 9.7% of his weight.. any more and hes back in hospital.. to be honest the misses Milk has only just come in and she is not filling bottle so we can top up after the feed .. the feeding expert lady .. (probably not her official title) is coming tomorrow .. so ..

Hysteria1983

I understand it is hard to see that you son is loosing weight, but 5 - 10% is considered 'normal' or average. Breastfed babies usually get back to their birth weight by their second or third week of life, and then gain an average of four to eight ounces each week during the first six months.

Bf babies do loose more that formula fed babies at first for the reason that the colostrum is not actually food, and until mum's milk comes in they do tend to loose weight and take the colostrum more as a drink than a feed.
get your misses pumping whenever he has a bottle so that it mimics a breastfeed. So everytime he has a bottle get her to pump. If he take from the left boob, and then has a top up, get her to pump from the right, that way it will stimulate more milk.

The woman who comes tomorrow will be good, a lactation consultant is what they are sometimes called. they usually check the latch, make sure baby is feeding well and not falling asleep at the breast, and if so give tips like tickling the feet to stimulate them.

Something I was told when bf my newborn son was to strip him down to his nappy to wake him up and keep him awake from a feed. And I am sure the whole skin to skin thing has been mentioned to you plenty of times by now!

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

James hates being stripped down and screams, hes feeding very well now.. I think as you say it was the delay between the colostrum and the milk ..

Mikee

scoob_babe

Good news

sarasquares

iTrader: (1)

And breathe


Good things come to those that wait

Jonnys3

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

lets see how tonight goes, his feet and hands are frozen, no matter how we wrap him but they say that's common ..

He seems happy enough

Mikee

What a smasher!!! Bens hands and feet are cooler than his body...as you say, quite normal.

Hysteria1983

I think now the milk is flowing that the little man will be much more settled. How is the jaundice? Did the MW comment on it today?

Hysteria1983

Oh as for the cold hands an feet, yeat that's normal, they just have trouble regulating their body temp, and find it hard getting their hands ane feet warm.
Has he had his heel ***** test? I suspect he may have.
If not I suggest that when the MW arrives have a hot water bottle on stand by just to warm his feet up. My daughter was like James and when it came to the heel preick her feet were that cold she couldn't get any blood on the paper, and bruised her foot. So when she came the next time, I warmed her feet up nicely and there was plenty of blood and it was over in a second.

Lee247

awww, would you look at him. What a little cutie

My first born, a Son never cried, he whimpered My second, a Daughter, screeched the place down. It was one hell of a shock, I can tell you. So I agree with the poster (sorry, can't remember who) about girls

It will get better, but you will be very very tired. Try to grab naps when he is sleeping, little and often is better than none at all.
I also used to put music on, quite loud when mine seemed to be crying for no reason. ie nappy clean, fed, winded etc. Always worked a treat. Chris got to quite like Queen Latifah